


The Root of Sameen

by madlaw, MayonnaiseJane



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Feels, Assassins & Hitmen, Best Friends, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Computer Nerd, Disney World, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, First Kiss, Hacking, High School, Jealousy, Jokes, Justice, Kid Fic, Laughter, Martial Arts, Murder, Mystery, Narcissism, Past Rape/Non-con, Payback, Pranks, Protectiveness, Rape Aftermath, Reunion, Revenge, Road Trip, Root and Shaw meet in kindergarten, Stupid Teachers, Therapy, They'll always find each other, psychiatric hospital, teenage masturbation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 69
Words: 140,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9533048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madlaw/pseuds/madlaw, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayonnaiseJane/pseuds/MayonnaiseJane
Summary: This is an alternate universe where Root and Shaw meet in kindergarten, their whole lives ahead of them.  I imagine meeting this young changes them both, sending their lives on a unique track.It also examines the role of Shaw's mother, and to a lesser extent father, in Sameen's life.  They too represent the roots from which Sameen grows.I've never written anything like this before so I'm not sure how old they'll be when I'm done.Please let me know what you think and any suggestions are welcome.I hope you enjoy the ride.





	1. When Geniuses Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months into the school year, a new student starts the term in Sameen’s classroom. Sameen looks at her curiously as Ms. Simmons introduces her. Her name is Samantha Groves and she just transferred from another school. Samantha’s tall for her age and Shaw groans internally. Does _everyone _have to be taller than her?__

 

 

By age 5 Sameen Shaw already knows she’s different.  Things either don’t bother her or they make her furious.  She doesn’t cry or get sad.  She looks at the world in terms of useful and useless.  She takes advantage of the former and disregards the latter.  She doesn’t like hugs or anyone touching her and feels no need to be comforted physically.

Her parents worry Sameen will have a hard time in the world, but they never make her feel broken or _wrong_.  They adapt to Sameen’s world view and set out to make sure their daughter knows she’s loved and perfect just the way she is. 

But Sameen also possesses an above average IQ and she knows she’s not like other kids.  It doesn’t bother her and she’s perfectly content to be by herself.  But for a long time her mother persists in setting up play dates and Sameen goes to a play group twice a week.  But it doesn’t take long for other parents to decide Sameen is _different_ and suddenly there are excuses for cancelled play dates and invitations to kids’ parties dry up.  As one mother tells Sameen’s, her child is simply _terrified_ of her.  Sameen isn’t _mean_ exactly, but the concept of being _nice_ just never took hold.  Her logical mind rejects any attempt to sugarcoat the facts.      

But her mother’s quest uncovers Sameen’s mind takes to science like a duck to water.  So she finds a science club for Sameen’s age group and Sameen thrives.  When the leader of the group suggests Sameen seems to have excess energy that sometimes disrupts the class, her mother signs her up for Tae Kwon Do classes.  Both are a good fit and Sameen finally finds outlets for her mind and body that don’t depend on anyone _liking_ her.

At her age she can’t articulate why these things come easily to her, but she feels she _fits_ somehow and is content, which Sameen has come to understand is the best she’ll ever feel.

 

* * *

 

On the first day of kindergarten Sameen’s mother walks her to school, which little Sameen thinks is unnecessary since the school is only two blocks away.  “Buth Maman, I can go by myfelf.”  Sameen recently lost a front tooth so certain letters give her trouble.  But Mah Monir, Sameen’s mother, is extremely adept at dealing with her daughter’s stubborn streak and smiles at her affectionately. 

“I know you can azizam.  But I’ll worry.  So I’m walking you to school because I don't want to worry, not because I think you can’t go by yourself.”  Sameen thinks about it and although she doesn’t understand the concept of worrying, she figures if her mother wants to do it, then she should.  So she scrunches her eyebrows and reluctantly agrees. 

Sameen soon settles into the school routine and for the most part everything goes well.  But it only takes a few weeks for the kids to decide she’s _weird_ and little Sameen is on her own again.  The way she prefers it.  However, her teacher, Ms. Simmons, does not share Sameen’s point of view.  She calls her parents in for a conference to discuss what she calls Sameen’s anti-social behavior.  Mah already knows, by necessity, how to deal with these judgments from ostensibly helpful authority figures.  So she goes to the meeting armed with patience and the protectiveness of a lioness for her cub.

Knowing his wife, Sameen’s father, Abbas Jahansouz Shaw, goes with her to the conference.  It won’t be the first time Mah takes issue with someone’s comments about their daughter.

After the introductions Ms. Simmons begins to list the problems, as she sees them, with Sameen.  Her tone is condescending with a veneer of concern.  “I wanted to discuss Sameen’s anti-social behavior because I’m concerned it’s not healthy.”  She looks at Mah and Abbas clearly expecting some type of response.  Mah takes a deep breath.

“Ms. Simmons I’m sure you have Sameen’s best interests at heart,” Mah starts, although she believes no such thing.  “So I want to be clear we’re talking about the same things when you say Sameen’s behavior is anti-social.”  Simmons nods eagerly.  “Does Sameen disobey your instructions?  Does she lie?  Does she hit or verbally abuse other children?  Is she hostile or aggressive?  Does she steal or vandalize property?”

Simmons looks horrified and Abbas squeezes Mah’s hand reassuringly.  “No, no…you misunderstood me.  Of course not.  Sameen doesn’t exhibit any of those types of behavior.”  Mah feigns relief for Simmons' benefit.  “I’m relieved, because you see those are the types of behavior anti-social children exhibit.  Maybe you’re referring to Sameen’s preference for playing alone, her lack of participation in class unless called upon, and her apparent inability to make friends with the other children?”

Simmons is shaking her head yes vigorously before Mah’s even finished.  Mah gives her a “glad we’re on the same page” smile before adopting a fierce and firm tone.  “What I just described Ms. Simmons, is an introverted child.  Being an introvert is a function of biology. I won’t bore you with the details, but Sameen can no more change being an introvert than you can change your skin color. 

I’m sure you’ve already seen Sameen’s possessed of a keen intelligence, far advanced for a child her age, even though she prefers to listen and observe rather than actively participate.”  Simmons shakes her head yes uncertainly, like it’s a trick question.  She’s not sure what she expected but it wasn’t anyone like Mah.

“Good.  I think now you have a better idea of how to interpret Sameen’s behavior.  I’m so glad you reached out to us and are so concerned about Sameen’s well-being.  We appreciate it.  Please bring any other concerns to us immediately.  We’re looking forward to working with you this year.”

Mah smiles and offers her hand, while Abbas smiles politely.  Simmons shakes Mah’s hand limply and they leave her standing with her mouth agape.

As expected, Sameen does well academically.  She continues with her extracurricular science and martial arts training and her parents are satisfied all is going well.

 

* * *

 

Two months into the school year, a new student starts the term in Sameen’s classroom.  Sameen looks at her curiously as Ms. Simmons introduces her.  Her name is Samantha Groves and she just transferred from another school.  She’s tall for her age and Sameen groans internally.  Does _everyone_ have to be taller than her?

Sameen studies her.  She has long hair and clear brown eyes and she’s looking straight at Sameen with a wide smile.  Sameen frowns and looks away.  The next thing she knows, the new girl is sitting next to her.  Sameen sits alone in the back and there are plenty of other seats towards the front of the class, but Samantha chooses the desk right next to her.

Ms. Simmons tries to get Samantha to move closer to the front, but she refuses politely but firmly.  “No.  I like this one.”  Ms. Simmons decides it’s okay, not wanting Samantha to feel singled out on her first day. 

The morning passes normally, except Sameen can tell Samantha keeps staring at her.  She ignores it. 

The children eat lunch outside and Sameen usually sits alone under a large oak tree.  Samantha follows and sits next to her, still with her wide toothy smile.  Sameen shifts over slightly so their shoulders aren’t touching.  They eat in silence and then sit quietly until they’re called back inside. 

The pattern continues for the whole week.  Samantha doesn’t try to engage Sameen in conversation, occasionally making observations Sameen’s not expected to respond to.  Like the shapes of the clouds or the color of the leaves.

 

* * *

 

Sameen begins to notice differences between her and Samantha.

Samantha’s clothes sometimes have holes in them and her sneakers are old and dirty.  Some days she doesn’t bring lunch and when she does it’s usually just an apple.  Sameen sees her walk to the bus area every day after school.  Although she’s always smiling at Sameen, when the school day ends her smile goes away and her face looks…cloudy, Sameen decides.

When they sit outside for lunch on Monday, Sameen asks the questions on her mind.  “How come you never bring lunch?”  Food is very important to Sameen and she can’t imagine anyone not wanting to eat lunch.  Samantha looks away and shrugs.  Sameen understands not wanting to talk so she doesn’t push. 

“Why do you ride the buth?”  Evidently that’s a safe question because Samantha answers.  “My mom works a lot so she can’t pick me up.”  Makes sense, so Sameen nods understandingly.  “Do you know your shirth hath a hole?”  Samantha’s face gets red.  She doesn’t answer and gets up to go sit on a bench by herself.

Sameen’s puzzled by her reaction.  It’s just a question.  So she starts to think about all the differences between her and Samantha.  Sameen knows what it’s like to be different.  But intuitively she understands some kids may not like being different.  Maybe Samantha doesn’t like being different.

Sameen realizes she’s spent more time thinking about Samantha than she ever has about anyone else.  She wants Samantha to be okay.  She doesn’t understand why but she accepts the feeling.  Things are what they are and Sameen never thinks to question it.

She gets up and walks over to Samantha.  “I’m differenth thoo.  My maman thayf that’f okay.”  Samantha smiles at her but it’s not her usual smile.  Sameen knows how to identify sad even though she doesn’t feel it.  Samantha’s sad.  Sameen sits next to her until lunchtime’s over.

At the end of the day, Sameen walks with Samantha to her bus.  They don’t discuss it and Sameen waits until Samantha’s sitting inside before she turns and walks to her usual pick up spot.  Her mom’s already waiting.  “Sameen, did you have to stay late?” 

“No maman.  I wath walking Thamantha tho her buth.”  Mah thinks for a moment.  “Samantha?”  Sameen nods like it’s the most normal thing in the world and they walk home. 

Mah thinks she’s prepared for any situation that might arise given her daughter’s introverted nature.  But she admits to herself Sameen making a friend isn’t really one of them.  That evening she shares the news with Sameen’s dad.  “What do you think Abbas?”  Sameen’s father doesn’t look worried.  “Sameen’s just as capable as any child of making friends Mah.  She just needed someone interesting to come along.  It’s a good thing.” 

The next morning Mah sees Sameen adding extra food to her lunch.  “Azizam have you been staying hungry?  Why didn’t you tell me?”  Sameen answers while picking out the extra snacks.  “No maman.  They’re for Thamantha.  Thee only bringth an apple.”  It makes perfect sense to Sameen and Mah thinks its great Sameen’s taken an interest in her new friend, but she’s concerned for Samantha.  What kind of parents send their 5-year-old to school with only an apple for lunch?

“We need tho hurry Maman.”  Mah looks at the clock.  “But we have plenty of time azizam, why do we need to hurry?”  Sameen gives an exasperated huff and clenches her tiny hand.  “I need tho be there when Thamantha’s buth geths to thchool.”

Mah smiles and grabs her purse.  “Well then, let’s go.”  When they arrive at school Sameen leaves her mother with a wave and walks over to where the school buses arrive.  Mah stands back to watch.  A few minutes later one of the buses arrives and Sameen walks over to one of the kids getting off.  Mah assumes its Samantha.

She’s a pretty girl and she smiles widely when she sees Sameen.  Sameen just nods and they turn and walk into the school together.  Mah's eyes water when she sees Sameen and her new friend.  Mah knows her daughter has feelings, they’re just muted.  This girl must be very special to arouse such protectiveness in Sameen.

At lunch time, Sameen and Samantha sit under their usual tree.  Sameen takes out her sandwich and passes another one to Samantha without a word.  Samantha hesitates, but then takes the sandwich with a smile.  “Thanks Sam.”  Sameen shrugs like it’s no big deal and doesn’t explain.  She also doesn't say anything about the shortening of her name, although she's always insisted everyone call her Sameen and very specifically _not_ Sam.

“I have a nickname.”  Sameen looks at Samantha expectantly.  “It’s Root.”  Sameen thinks about it.  “Like under a planth?”  Samantha nods apprehensively.  Sameen shrugs.  “Okay.”  She doesn’t ask why because it doesn’t matter.  If Samantha wants to be called Root, then it’s okay with Sameen.

 

* * *

 

Mah starts packing two lunches every day.  Sameen and Root sit next to each other in class, have lunch together, and Sameen walks her to the school bus everyday and meets her there every morning.  Root talks a lot more than Sameen, but she doesn’t expect Sameen to answer or act in any certain way, so Sameen doesn’t mind.

Sometimes she finds the things Root thinks about interesting.  “Sam, do you think computers can feel?”  The question catches Sameen’s attention.  There are a lot of things Sameen has taught herself to feel.  Like right and wrong.  Some things are not okay even if they feel okay to Sameen.  Like stealing things.  The thought doesn’t make Sameen feel guilty or scared; she could steal without a problem.  But she’s taught herself its wrong to take other people’s things. 

“I think you can theach it tho theel.”   Root never has a problem understanding what her friend's saying.  She also seems to be able to read Sameen’s mind.  “So it can learn like we learn…”  Root seems satisfied with the answer and gives Sameen a warm smile that Sameen has figured out is reserved just for her.

 

* * *

 

A couple of weeks later Sameen is waiting for Root at the bus area.  Root’s bus arrives, but Root’s not there.  Sameen feels different.  She can’t explain it, but there’s something about Root’s absence she doesn’t like. 

When Mah picks her up, she recognizes the look on Sameen's face.  She's angry.  “Maman, woot…wasn’th in thcool thoday.”  Mah can see the concern in Sameen’s face even if Sameen doesn’t know it’s there.  “Maybe she’s sick azizam.”  Sameen’s not satisfied with the answer.  “Thee wath okay yetherday.” 

“She may have gotten sick during the night azizam.  Maybe she has a stomachache.”  They walk home.  Well, Mah walks while Sameen stomps, clearly annoyed.  By the time Mah gets inside, Sameen’s already in her room.

Around 5am, Mah’s woken by a sound.  She shakes Abbas awake.  “I heard something downstairs Abbas.”  They get up and check Sameen’s room first.  The covers are by the foot of the bed but she’s not in her room.  They find her downstairs sitting at the kitchen table in the dark, dressed and ready for school.

Abbas turns on the kitchen light.  “Sameen, what are you doing awake?”  Sameen’s face is scrunched and she’s frowning.  “Waithing for thcool to thart.”  Her parents look at each other worriedly.  They sit down with her at the kitchen table.  “Sameen, are you worried about Samantha?”  Even for a five year old, Sameen’s scowl is intimidating.  “Woot.  Her name ith woot.”  Despite her concern, Mah smiles.  Sameen's already told them about Samantha's nickname.  “I’m sorry Sameen.  Are you worried about Root?”

Sameen shrugs her shoulders not sure how to explain the feeling in her stomach.  Mah feels for her only child.  She’s experiencing something new and Mah’s not sure how to explain it in a way Sameen can understand.

“Sameen, does it feel like when you miss your martial arts class?”  Her parents know Sameen hates to miss the class.  She’s tried to go even when she’s sick.  Sameen nods thoughtfully.  “Does it feel like that?  Like when you want the day for the next class to come already?”  Sameen nods yes resolutely, having decided it feels just like that.

“Azizam that means you miss Root and you want school to start soon so you can see her.  But sitting down here won’t make time pass any faster Sameen.  Come on, let’s go back to bed.  I promise I’ll get you up early for school.”  But sometimes Sameen will not budge and her parents realize this is going to be one of those times.

“Go back to sleep Abbas.  I’ll wait with Sameen.  We can have some hot chocolate.”  Abbas knows his wife understands perfectly what Sameen needs.  He kisses them both and goes back to bed.

Mah’s concern isn’t that Sameen is missing some sleep.  She’s concerned what will happen if Root’s not in school again today.  As she makes their hot chocolate she considers her options.

 

* * *

 

Mah waits for Sameen to meet Root’s bus.  As she feared, Root’s not here today either.  Sameen starts walking back towards home determinedly before she notices her mother’s still there.  She’s so focused she’s startled when Mah calls her name.  “Sameen.  Where are you going?”

“Maman thomething’s wrong with woot.  I need tho find her.”  Mah’s heart breaks a little bit seeing Sameen’s distress.  “Okay azizam, but you don’t know where she lives.  How are we going to find her?”  It’s obvious Sameen hasn’t thought that far ahead, but she’s not any less determined.

“Sameen, you go to class.  I'll go to the principal’s office and find out about Root.  Okay?”  Sameen knows her mother doesn’t lie to her, so she agrees...but it's unenthusiastic.  Mah walks her to her class and then heads for the office.

The principal, Ms. Rodgers, is a pleasant and kind woman.  Mah liked her from the moment they met at the first open house.  Mah explains the situation and Sameen’s concern.  The principal understands Sameen’s unique personality and doesn’t fail to grasp the importance of this new relationship in Sameen’s life.  “I understand Ms. Monir, but you know I can’t reveal any information about another student.  It’s against the law…”  Mah’s already considering other options when Ms. Rodgers speaks again.  “If you’ll excuse me a minute, I’ll be right back.”  As she stands, Ms. Rodgers gives a meaningful look to a computer printout on her desk.

As soon as the door closes, Mah’s up and looking at the report.  It’s the daily absentee report.  It shows Root’s mother called her in sick.  The report contains each absent student’s address and phone number.  Mah makes a quick note of Root’s and leaves the office.  She smiles to the secretary on her way out, “Please tell Ms. Rodger’s I needed to go.”  The secretary smiles and nods and Mah walks away quickly.

She tries calling the phone number listed but there’s no answer and no voicemail, which in this day and age seems unheard of.  It must be a landline.  Mah waits a couple of hours with no better results.  She needs to come up with a plan, because Sameen will not be satisfied to let another day pass without knowing about Root.

Mah will do anything for her daughter and if that means taking some unconventional steps, so be it.  She drives over to Root’s address.  It’s a run-down section of town full of tenements and businesses consisting mostly of liquor and check-cashing stores.

Mah’s from Iran and no stranger to sketchy neighborhoods or their dangerous inhabitants.  She finds Root’s building and takes the stairs to the apartment.  She knocks firmly and hears some shuffling behind the door.  It opens a crack, the chain lock still in place.  She sees Root peeking out apprehensively.

“Hi…” Mah greets her warmly.  Root looks a little panicked.  “My mom says to tell you she missed her last appointment because she had to work…please don’t stop our checks,” Root pleads.  Mah realizes Root must think she’s from social services.  “No, Root….”  Samantha’s clearly startled at the use of her nickname.  “I’m Sameen’s mother.  She was worried about you.”

The change in Root is instantaneous at the sound of Sameen’s name.  She smiles widely and Mah keeps talking to her in a soothing tone.  “My name is Mah.  Sameen thought you were sick, so I came to see if you need anything.”  Root closes the door to remove the chain lock and then opens it wider.  Mah sees there’s a stool by the door Root must use to reach the chain lock. 

The first thing Mah notices is the burn mark on Root’s chest.  She’s wearing a loose tank top and the burn stretches out angrily from underneath.  Root notices Mah’s stare and quickly covers the wound.  The next thing Mah sees is a woman passed out on the couch behind Root.  There are liquor bottles and discarded needles on the chipped coffee table.

Root starts to stammer an explanation she’s clearly had to give before.  It’s something a 5-year-old shouldn’t even know how to say.  “I hurt myself because I was bad and didn’t listen…”  But Mah’s already cradling her in her arms.  “Come on Root.  Let’s get you dressed.  You can come play with Sameen and stay with us tonight.”

Root looks more scared at Mah’s words than at the injury to her fragile body.  “I’ll get in trouble…please…”  Mah smiles although she wants to cry.  “It’s going to be all right Root.  I’m going to talk to your mom and make sure it’s okay with her.  Come on nāzi, let’s find you clothes.”  Root’s still unsure.  “Do you know what nāzi means Root?”  Root nods no but looks curious.  “It means ‘my sweetest’ and it’s what you can call someone close to you.”  Mah gets Root dressed and then has her stand just outside the door.  She doesn’t want the child to witness the next part.

She tries shaking Root’s mother awake, but is only partly successful.  “Ms. Groves,” she hisses, trying to keep her voice down for Root’s sake.  The woman slurs drunkenly, “go away…”  Mah rarely loses her temper but the situation infuriates her beyond words.  She grabs a glass of what she thinks is water from the coffee table and throws it in the woman’s face.  It has the desired effect and the woman opens her eyes, sputtering. 

Mah grabs her arm painfully.  “You listen to me right now.  My name is Mah Monir.  I am the mother of one of your daughter’s school friends.”  The woman, who Mah knows is also named Samantha, yanks her arm out of Mah’s grasp.  “What friends?  She’s no one,” she laughs drunkenly.

Mah grabs her again adding a twist to her vice-like grip.  “You listen very carefully to me.  My husband works for social services.  If you want to keep your benefits and the check you collect for your daughter, you will not lay a hand on her again.  Do you hear me?!” she yells quietly.  “Samantha will stay with my family until Sunday.  When I come back here this place better be clean and there better be appropriate food in the refrigerator or my next call will be to the police.”

Mah hopes she got through to the woman in her inebriated state.  She leaves a note with her name and phone number on the table.  She takes a deep breath and steps outside, closing the door gently behind her.  She smiles down at Root.  “Let’s go nāzi.  Your mother says it’s okay.”  Mah carries Root, who wraps her tiny arms around her neck.

Mah and Abbas are going to need to have a long talk when he gets home.  They can’t abandon Root in these conditions.  There has to be something they can do.

Mah takes Root with her to pick up Sameen at school.  Root smiles widely when she sees Sameen.  Sameen looks at her mother then nods at Root.  She takes Root’s hand as they walk home together.  “Sameen your maman says I can stay with you until Sunday.”  And with the perceptiveness characteristic of a much older child she asks Sameen, “is that okay Sam?” 

Sameen gives a tiny smile.  “Yes.”


	2. I Do The Protecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she checks on them before going to sleep, Sameen’s holding Root’s hand and both girls are sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay there's a lot of angst here, but I promise the next chapters will be more lighthearted. 
> 
> As always all comments welcome.

“Okay girls, you go play while I fix you a snack.”  Mah watches as Sameen leads Root upstairs, still holding her hand.  She sighs and decides to call Abbas at work.  She explains Root’s situation and he assures her he’ll look into it and they’ll discuss it tonight.  Abbas knows his wife.  She won’t give up until they can make things better for Sameen’s friend.

Sameen pulls out her clothes for martial arts while Root looks around her room.  She spots Sameen's computer and walks over, looking at it with a small smile on her face.  “You can play with it if you want,” Sameen tells her as she changes.

Root turns it on and within a couple of minutes she’s showing Sameen a web page she created. 

“Wow, woot!  How did you learn tho do thath?” Root shrugs. “I play with the computers at the library.  It’s easy.”

Sameen looks impressed and Root feels a warm tingle inside, happy she can share what she likes with her friend.  She’s never showed anyone what she can do before.

They hear Mah calling from downstairs.  “Come on, maman makef the besth snackf.”

 

* * *

 

“Okay girls when you’re done with your snacks we need to leave for Sameen’s martial arts class.  Then we’ll go to science club.  Root I already called so you can stay with Sameen and see if you like it. Okay azizam?”  They both nod yes and Mah smiles at them indulgently.

The girls are buckled up in the back seat while Mah drives.  She hears Sameen asking, “Whath happened?”  Her voice sounds strangled and Mah doesn’t hear a reply so she looks back when she stops for a light.  Root’s gripping the top of her shirt where Mah knows the burn mark shows. She’s looking away and Sameen’s staring at the back of her head, face scrunched in a scowl.  “Who hurth you woot?”  Sameen’s voice is gentle, but if she were an adult Mah would describe the tone as…deadly.

“Sameen, leave Root alone.  She’ll talk about it when she’s ready.  It’s okay Root.  Sameen just wants to make sure you’re okay.”  When they arrive at the dojo Sameen rushes in, leaving Root and Mah trailing behind.  Mah takes Root’s hand and leads her to the spectator seats so they can watch the class.  She sits next to Mah quietly.

“Is Sam mad at me Mah?”  Root asks somberly and she looks worried as she watches Sameen preparing for class.  “No nāzi.  She doesn’t like the idea someone hurt you.  But she’s not mad at you.  She cares about you.”  Root considers Mah’s words carefully.  “Is Sam my friend?”

“Of course nāzi.  Why do you ask?”

“I’ve never had a friend before.  My mother says no one would like me.”   Tears spring to Mah’s eyes and she takes a deep breath to hide them.  “Well she’s wrong Root.  Sameen likes you very much and so do I.”

The class starts and they both turn to watch.  It starts with a warm up and Root watches the kids do jumping jacks and stretches.  Then they practice basic punches and kicks for about ten minutes.  Root’s mesmerized by Sameen, watching her every move with rapt attention.

The last part of the class involves the kids pairing up and practicing simple skills.  Today they’re practicing the defense to a lapel grab.  One child grabs the other by both lapels of their gi and then the other child spears their hands upwards to knock them away.

Sameen is paired with an older boy because her skills are advanced for her age.  She starts as the partner attacking, but instead of stopping once he’s knocked her hands away, the boy chops both his hands down on her collarbone.  Sameen doesn’t lurch to her knees as he expected.  She growls and snap kicks him hard in the groin.

Mah’s shocked.  But before she can leave her seat, Root’s already on top of the boy slapping at his head with her tiny hands.  He’s not even trying to defend himself since he’s curled into a fetal position, both hands between his legs protectively.  Sameen is standing by staring at him blankly, until she sees Root.  She pulls her away gently but firmly.  “Woot, it’s okay.  Stop.  Woot!”  Root’s face is red and she’s gasping for air.  Mah reaches them and crouches down, hugging each of them with one arm.  “Sameen are you okay?”  She nods yes, but Mah can already see the red impression from the boy’s hands. 

Root has devolved into crying and Sameen steps closer and wraps her arm around Root’s other shoulder so she’s cradled between her and Mah.  “Root, its okay nāzi.  Sameen’s not hurt.”  Root calms until she’s just sniffling.  “He hurt Sam,” she hiccups, “I had to protect her.”  Sameen rolls her eyes, which looks comical on her tiny face.  “I do the prothecthing Woot.”

The instructor walks over but before he can say anything Mah’s already staring him down.  “I expect that boy will be expelled from this school.  His actions could have seriously injured Sameen and are against the code of conduct the children are expected to follow.”  She’s not yelling but there’s no mistaking the threat in her voice.  “Of course, Ms. Monir.  But Sameen’s reaction…”  Mah doesn’t let him finish.  “He’s a year older and a foot taller.  She defended herself appropriately.  Once he was no longer a threat she stepped away.  She used exactly the right amount of force given the situation.”  Mah herself is a black-belt and she knows her daughter’s skills.  She could have seriously hurt the boy if she wanted.

The instructor thinks better of arguing further.  “Of course Ms. Monir.”  He crouches down to speak with Sameen.  “Are you okay Sameen?”  She nods and bows respectfully.  He sighs.  “Okay.  I’ll see you next week then.”  He nods at Mah and walks away to deal with the boy’s family.

Mah bundles them both in the car.  “I think tonight will be pizza night girls.  It’s been a long day for all of us.  We’ll go to science club tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

Abbas is already home when they return.  “Sameen go take a bath and I’ll order the pizza.  Root would you like to watch a movie while we wait?”  Root looks after Sameen, her forehead creased in worry.  “Don’t worry nāzi, Sameen’s fine.  She’s very strong.  When she comes down you can get her some ice for the bruise.  Okay?”  Root looks relieved and allows Mah to settle her into the couch.  “Have you seen Frozen Root?”

“I’ve never seen any movie, only cartoons on TV.”  Mah wishes she’d kicked her mother’s ass instead of just twisting her arm a little, but she buries the thought in a smile for Root.  “Well, I’m sure you’ll like this one.  It’s one of Sameen’s favorites.”  That’s all the information Root needs to be interested.

 

* * *

 

Mah signals Abbas and they go into the kitchen to talk.  “Abbas, what did you learn?”  He sighs and holds out a chair for Mah before settling next to her at the kitchen table.  “We already have a file open on Ms. Groves.  She’s under supervision for neglect, but no physical abuse has been noted.  There are no other relatives so if we pursue an official investigation based on your observations, the chances are little Samantha will have to go to a foster home.  I don’t have to tell you it’s not an ideal solution.”

Mah shakes her head and sighs.  “I told Ms. Groves we’d be back on Sunday and I expected the place be clean with food for Samantha.  Abbas she only sends Root to school with an apple for lunch and some days not even that.  You’ve seen her clothes.  It’s criminal.  It’s a miracle she’s such a sweet little girl given the way her mother treats her.”

Unfortunately Abbas is all too familiar with the cruelty parents inflict on their children.  “Let me think about it Mah.  We’ll figure something out to keep Samantha safe.  Now what happened to Sameen?”

 

* * *

 

Sameen comes down from her bath and Root jumps up from the couch and comes into the kitchen.  “Sam’s done Mah.  Can I have the ice now?”  Mah nods and gets her the ice pack.  It’s not the first time Sameen’s been injured; she’ll know what to do.  Root takes it firmly in her small hands, a serious look on her face.  “I’ll help her Mah.”  Mah smiles and shakes her head as she watches Root.

 

* * *

 

Both girls’ eyes are drooping by the time they’re done with dinner.  Mah walks upstairs with them to tuck them in.  She took some clothes for Root from her house for now, but they’re all in poor condition.  She’ll go shopping tomorrow and get her a few things.

Sameen’s bed is big enough for both of them, but Mah’s not sure if she'll be okay sharing her bed.  They have an air bed they can set up for Root.  But she climbs into bed and scoots to the far side, holding the covers up, waiting for Root.  Root climbs in sleepily and is asleep before her head even hits the pillow.  Mah watches Sameen looking at Root with a small smile on her face.  She turns off the lights and leaves the door open a crack. 

 

* * *

 

When she checks on them before going to sleep, Sameen’s holding Root’s hand and both girls are sound asleep.


	3. Root's Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dinner Abbas goes upstairs to read the girls a bedtime story. It’s a new book he picked up today with the girls in mind. It’s called Frog And Toad Are Friends© Arnold Lober. The book follows the adventures of Frog and Toad, two best friends with distinctly different personalities.

The next morning Mah wakes the girls and gets them ready for school.  She applies burn cream to Root’s chest, while Sameen looks on impassively.  Mah covers it with a bandage and helps Root get dressed so it doesn’t come off. 

When they’re dressed they go down to the kitchen for breakfast.  “Nāzi what do you usually have for breakfast?”  Root looks down and mumbles.  “Nothing.”  She knows it’s not normal to not have breakfast even if it’s always been that way for her so she’s embarrassed.  She’s taught herself to not be hungry.  “Maman, woot will have the same thing I’m having,” Sameen decides authoritatively.  Mah hides a smile.  “Is that okay Root?”  Root nods eagerly and looks at Sameen gratefully.

Mah prepares them both toast with pumpkin butter and a sliced banana on top.  While the girls eat Mah prepares their lunch.  Sameen has reported Root likes the lunches Mah’s been making so she doesn’t worry and packs each of them the same lunch.  A small carton of milk, roasted chicken in a pita with avocado and honey mustard, and a medium orange.  She places them both in Sameen’s lunch box and Root thanks her very seriously.  “Thank you Mah.”  Mah gives her a short hug with a smile.  “You’re very welcome nāzi.”

She walks the girls to school and they walk away without a backwards glance.  Mah smiles but it quickly turns to worry.  They need to help Samantha, but she hasn’t figured out how.  She sighs, but not in defeat, with determination.  They will figure out a way not just to keep Samantha safe, but also to make sure she gets to do the things other kids her age do.  She shouldn’t have to be taking care of a grown adult, even if it is her mother.

Mah decides the first order of business is to go shopping.  She picks up clothes, a backpack, and a lunch box for Root and a new gi for Sameen.  Although Sameen thinks she’s too short, she’s had a recent growth spurt and it seems like she’s outgrown everything.

She picks up the girls in the afternoon and Root tells her about their day.  Sameen doesn’t usually talk about school unless something unusual happens or she’s learned something that catches her interest, but she doesn’t seem to mind Root’s chattering. 

They have their snacks when they get home and then Mah takes them to science club.  She stays a few minutes to talk to the moderator, explaining Root will be joining Sameen today.  The club lasts an hour so she decides to run a few errands while the girls are busy.

When she returns the moderator, Stephanie Mills, asks to speak to her in private.  “Ms. Monir I wanted to speak to you about Samantha.  I asked her about her interests and she told me she loves computers.  Are you aware how advanced Samantha is for her age?”  Mah tries to answer but Ms. Mills keeps right on talking in her excitement.

“I opened up an age appropriate basic coding site.  It basically shows kids simple commands for programming.  But Samantha already knew all the commands, so I asked her to show me the hardest thing she knew how to do.

I have parental blocks on the computer of course, just as an extra precaution to avoid kids accessing any inappropriate sites.  Samantha found a way around the blocks and she showed me how she accessed the xbox gaming platform to play her favorite game Peggle 2, which incidentally is designed for kids over seven.  I asked her where she learned to do that and she said she taught herself with the computers in the library. 

Ms. Monir, Root knows HTML and CSS already. It's not exactly programming language, but it's the first step to learning any computer language.  Although her hack of the xbox site tells me she knows a lot more.  But basically, HTML and CSS are used to design and format web pages.  There’s no other way to say it, Samantha has taught herself how to hack computers and some basic programming.  I can only imagine that her skill set will continue to grow.  Basically she’s a computer prodigy.”

Mah’s a little stunned.  Although she already knows Root is extremely bright and mature, she thought it was more a product of having to take care of her mother at such a young age.  Ms. Mills continues even though Mah has yet to comment.  “I’d like to speak to her mother.  Samantha needs advanced instruction in order to nurture her talent.  Also, she’ll need to develop a strong moral compass in order to draw the line between what she can do and what she should do.”

Mah thinks there’s about a snowball’s chance in hell Ms. Groves will take one iota of interest in Samantha’s talent or development.  At least not until the day she realizes she can make money off of her daughter’s gift.  “Thank you very much for taking an interest in Samantha, Ms. Mills.  I will talk to her mother about it.  In the interim do you know of any computer classes Samantha can take?  Ones that will keep her challenged?”

“Not off the top of my head, but I can look into some programs and we can talk next week.”  Mah nods in agreement, already scheming how to get Samantha the classes she needs without alerting Ms. Groves to her daughter’s gift.  The last thing Samantha needs is to be exploited by her own mother.

The girls are waiting nearby, but out of earshot of the adults’ conversation.  But when Mah joins them Root seems troubled.  Sameen is holding her hand, which Mah’s notices she does when Root is upset.  “Maman, woot thinks she’s in trouble because she did something wrong on the computer.”  Mah rushes to reassure Root.  “No nāzi, you are not in any trouble and you did not do anything wrong.  Ms. Mills wanted to talk to me about how very smart you are with computers.  We’ll talk about it more at home okay?”  Root nods, but Mah can tell she’s still worried.  Once again Mah wonders what this little girl has suffered to make her so afraid and leery of adults.

 

* * *

 

When they get home Abbas has already started dinner and the house smells of delicious spices.  He comes out of the kitchen to great them.  “How are my girls today?” he asks with a smile.  Mah gives him an affectionate kiss.  Sameen looks at Root and rolls her eyes since it’s a question he asks every day, but she answers good-naturedly.  “Good bâbâ.”  Root nods in agreement.

Mah ushers them upstairs.  “Okay girls, its bath time.  Nāzi do you need help?”  Root nods no.  Mah should have guessed really; she doubts Samantha’s mother takes any interest in her child’s grooming habits.  “Okay, azizam get Root a towel and show her where everything is; when Root’s done take your bath.”  Sameen nods in understanding and the girls head to the bathroom.

Mah takes out the pajamas she bought for Root today and leaves them on Sameen’s bed.  While Root bathes, Mah changes her own clothes and heads downstairs to check on dinner.  “Abbas do you need any help?  Everything smells wonderful.”  He smiles.  “No, I’ve got everything under control.  How is Samantha doing?” 

Before Mah gets a chance to answer Sameen walks into the kitchen.  She waits to make sure she’s not interrupting her parents.  “Maman, I have a question.”  The look on Sameen’s face is very serious and her parents immediately worry something is wrong.  “What is it azizam?”

“Can Root call you maman too?”  Her parents breathe an internal sigh of relief.  “Of course azizam, but is that okay with you?”  Sameen looks at her very somberly.  “Yes, I thought about it.  Root’s mother is not very nice to her, but you’re very nice.  I think she would like it.”

Mah doesn’t mind in the least but she wants to make sure Sameen understands Ms. Groves is still Samantha’s mother.  “Sameen you understand I’m not going to be Root’s mother, just yours?  Root can be your best friend and she can come here whenever her mother lets her, but I can’t be her mother.”  Sameen looks thoughtful for all of three seconds.  “I know that maman.  But it will make her feel…”  Sameen’s always struggled with identifying and explaining feelings so her parents are always mindful of helping her understand.

Mah thinks she knows what Sameen is trying to say.  “Azizam friends can also be part of your family.  Do you want Root to feel like part of our family?  So she doesn’t feel so bad about her mother?”  Sameen nods assertively.  “Okay azizam, I’ll tell her, but if she doesn’t want to that’s okay too.  Do we have a deal?”  Sometimes Sameen feels grownups make everything more difficult than they need to be.  “Yes maman.”  Sameen leaves the kitchen satisfied things are as they should be.

Abbas looks at Mah questioningly.  “Mah, I’m worried Sameen will get hurt before all this is said and done.  Ms. Groves can decide to move or prohibit Samantha from coming here.  We need a legal way to ensure that doesn't happen. This is the first time Sameen has a friend.  If anything happens to take Samantha away from her, she may never recover.”  Mah nods worriedly, but determines to make things work out for Sameen and Samantha.  She’ll discuss it with Abbas after the girls go to sleep.

Mah hears the shower turn off and she goes upstairs to help Root with her clothes.  By the time she gets upstairs, Root’s in a towel sitting on Sameen’s bed and the two are engaged in what seems to be a serious conversation.  “Okay woot?”  Root’s voice sounds unsure but she agrees to whatever Sameen is telling her.

Mah walks in and Sameen leaves to take her bath.  “Did your bath go okay Root?”  Root smiles.  “Yes.”  Mah takes the pajamas she bought for Root and Root looks at them curiously, but Mah doesn't want to make a big deal about it.  She notices Root still has her bandage on.  “Root, the bandage didn’t fall off in the shower?” 

“It did, but Sam put a new one after she put more cream on it.”  Mah wonders if her amazing daughter will ever stop surprising her.  She hopes not.  “It looks good nāzi, Sameen did an excellent job.

Nāzi I wanted to tell you that you can call me maman if you want to just like Sameen does.  It was her idea.  But only if you want to, okay?  You take time and think about it.  Now let’s get downstairs and you can help me set the table for dinner.”

Abbas asks the girls what they would like to do tomorrow since its Saturday.  Root looks at Sameen.  “We can pick woot.  Sometimes we go to the woo or the movies if it’s raining.  Or we can go to the park.”  Root looks like she thinks it’s too good to be true and maybe a little overwhelmed.  “You pick Sam.”  Sameen thinks about it and decides on the zoo.  Then Mah tells Abbas about Root's computing skills, mostly as a way to show Root she did nothing wrong and her skills are something to be admired.

 

* * *

 

After dinner Abbas goes upstairs to read the girls a bedtime story.  It’s a new book he picked up today with the girls in mind.  It’s called Frog And Toad Are Friends© Arnold Lober.  The book follows the adventures of Frog and Toad, two best friends with distinctly different personalities. 

_“Frog ran up the path to Toad’s house.  He knocked on the front door.  There was no answer.  “Toad, Toad,” shouted Frog, “wake up. It is spring!”_

_“Blah,” said a voice from inside the house.  “Toad, Toad,” cried Frog.  “The sun is shining!  The snow is melting.  Wake up!”_

_“I am not here,” said the voice.  Frog walked into the house.  It was dark.  All the shutters were closed. “Toad, where are you?” called Frog.  “Go away,” said the voice from a corner of the room. Toad was lying in bed.  He had pulled all the covers over his head.  Frog pushed Toad out of bed.  He pushed him out of the house and onto the front porch.  Toad blinked in the bright sun._

They get through spring before the girls’ eyes started drooping and Abbas promises to read the next part to them tomorrow.  He tucks them in and turns out the light, leaving the door cracked.

When he gets downstairs Mah is hanging up the phone.  “Abbas, I have a plan.”


	4. Saving Root

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls fall asleep in the car on the way home. They don’t wake even when they’re lifted out of their car seats so Mah and Abbas decide to just put them to bed. If they wake up they’ll make them something to eat and maybe get baths. Mah’s already thinking of them as a unit because she suspects where one goes, the other will follow. It will be interesting to see who leads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does contain discussions of physical abuse of children. It is not graphic but it is relatively detailed. Please skip the chapter if you're not comfortable with it for any reason.
> 
> For everyone else, you'll get to see even more of Mah's fierce protectiveness of both girls. 
> 
> I hope you'll stick with me. I promise there will be lots of lighthearted chapters filled with Root and Sameen's antics and Mah's continued struggle to stay one step ahead of the girls.

Abbas smiles at Mah’s enthusiasm and wonders what ingenious scheme she’s concocted.  With Mah anything’s possible.  He sits next to her on the couch to listen.

“I will report the abuse as urgent.  Your office must investigate within 24 hours and I can file it online right now.  Since you’re the boss, you get someone out there immediately.  They can talk with Root here, so we can help her through the traumatic experience and so she’s not taken from her home by a stranger.  The investigator determines an immediate removal is necessary for Root’s safety.  Root’s already here so we’ll volunteer for the emergency placement.”  Abbas lets her speak, but he knows these procedures better than she does.

Mah’s been speaking with urgency, but now she pauses.  “We are registered as foster parents, right Abbas?  If not we can…”  Abbas sees the concern washing over her face.  He takes her hand and makes a soothing motion.  “Mah we’ve been registered for years.”  Mah probably should know it since her husband heads the child protection department for the entire state, but she doesn’t remember him ever saying anything about it.

“Oh, perfect.  Root will stay here with us until the court date, which happens within 24 hours of removal, and then the investigator recommends Ms. Groves receive parenting classes as well as complete an alcohol and drug treatment program before reunification.  This way we keep Samantha safe and we can try to help her mother so she can be a proper parent.”

Abbas nods in agreement, but there are things she hasn’t considered.  “I agree with your plan Mah.  I think it’s the best way to help Samantha. 

But have you thought about what happens if Ms. Groves never complies with the court order?  The department will move to terminate her parental rights and Samantha will need a permanent placement. 

It’s a significant decision for us.   We can discuss options if the time comes, but assuming for whatever reason Samantha doesn’t stay with us, she’ll be placed in foster care.  If we get involved now, we need to be ready for the long haul.  Otherwise I think it’s best if we place Samantha with another foster family now to avoid the additional trauma later.

We also need to decide the best approach to explain all of this to Samantha before anyone comes here to speak with her.  She might feel we’ve taken her from the only family she’s ever known.  Children love even abusive parents fiercely. 

More importantly, we need to talk to Sameen.  Helping Samantha is important, but our daughter is our first priority.  Change is not easy for Sameen.  What if she feels Samantha has taken her family over?  Or that she’ll be less important, or that Samantha is more ‘normal’ so we’ll love her more? 

Even in biological families siblings can be hard on each other.  It’s more pronounced in foster families.  Even in good ones, biological children sometimes feel jealousy and a sense they have no say in whose part of their family.  Sometimes they act out those feelings in painful ways. 

We know Sameen experiences things differently.  It may not be a good fit for her.  She’s only known Samantha a few weeks, dealing with someone taking Samantha away now will be easier than months from now when they’ve grown even closer.”

Mah and Abbas are a good fit for many reasons but for this one especially.  When Mah jumps out of the plane, Abbas makes sure she has a parachute.  “Maybe we should sleep on this and discuss it further in the morning.”

 

* * *

 

But what neither parent counts on is their daughter’s innate curiosity and her ‘take no prisoners’ approach when she wants something.

While Abbas and Mah are talking, Sameen wakes up to go to the bathroom.  She hears her parents’ voices and sits on the stairs, low enough to listen but high enough to remain hidden.  So when their little ball of fire races into the living room, a determined look on her face, they’re caught off guard.  Luckily they’re experienced with these situations, since life with Sameen is full of adventures and this isn’t the first or last time Sameen will take them by surprise.

They realize immediately Sameen heard them talking, but they don’t give her a chance to speak.  Although Mah’s rarely actually mad with Sameen, she needs to be firm in order to keep her strong-willed daughter in line.  “Sameen Shaw what have we told you about listening to other people’s conversations?”

Sameen comes to a sudden stop.  She knows when her mother’s not happy with her.  “I’m forry maman.”  Mah shakes her head in disapproval.  “It’s not about being sorry azizam; it’s about doing the right thing even when it’s hard for you.  There are consequences when you don’t.  You may not watch television tomorrow so you remember next time.  Do you understand?”  Sameen nods her head in impatience, clearly wanting to move on with more pressing matters. 

Mah also knows Sameen rarely watches television anyway, preferring outdoor activities.  Tomorrow they’re going to the zoo, so she probably wouldn’t want to watch television anyway.  But Mah believes even the idea of being punished for misbehavior is important.  She pretends it’s a real punishment, but a part of her thinks Sameen’s also just pretending and she sees right through her mother’s shenanigans. 

But it’s not like they can unring the bell, so they’ll have to talk to Sameen now.  Abbas takes over.  “What did you want to say Sameen?”  Sameen actually paces back and forth a couple of times, like a lawyer delivering opening arguments to the court.  “I want woot to stay here.”  Her parents wait for more, but apparently Sameen feels that about sums it up.

Even with Sameen’s intelligence, her parents know she doesn’t exactly understand what’s going on.  Abbas always speaks reasonably, believing children should be spoken to with real interest and respect.  “Sameen, it’s not so easy.  Remember how we’ve talked about not always getting what you want?”

Sameen’s not buying it.  “woot’s mother hurths her.  She thold me.”  Mah wants to hear more about that, but it’s not the point right now.  “We know azizam, and we are going to help her and no one will hurt her again.”

But that’s not enough and Sameen decides on another approach.  “I can share.  woot’s our family.”  Now that one just breaks Mah’s heart.  Sameen’s never had another friend, but she knows exactly how to be an excellent one.  Mah’s already decided and Abbas sees it in her face, but she wants to explain it better so Sameen understands.

“I need to make sure you understand azizam, okay?”  Sameen’s pretty much mastered the eye roll and its one of the things her mother has tried to get her to stop, but with no success.  Sameen rolls her eyes.

“Root will be sharing your room and your toys and eating with us and going with us wherever we go.  But Root may not be happy because she misses her mother.  It’s not like a sleep over for a few days.  It’s going to be a few weeks, but not forever.

Ms. Groves is still Root’s mother and we’re going to help her too so she knows how to be a better mother to Root.  It’s like learning in school. 

When Root goes back to her mother, things will be different and you won’t see her all the time.  You might miss her like you did when she didn’t come to school the other day.”

Sameen yawns and for a second Mah almost thinks it’s a message she’s bored and not tired.  But Sameen’s too young for such subtle sarcasm.  Isn’t she?  Mah thinks she’s explained it as well as possible anyway.  They’ll have to deal with situations as they arise. 

It’s also occurred to her Ms. Groves may comply and then leave when Root’s back with her to avoid anyone interfering with how she raises her.  Although right now Root is raising herself and probably doing a better job than her mother.

“Okay azizam, Root can stay with us, but we’ll talk to her about it in the morning so she understands okay?  Don’t wake her up now.”  Sameen looks as happy as she ever does and readily agrees. 

Mah takes her back to her room, but Sameen stops her.  “I have to pee maman.”  Mah can’t help it, she laughs.  Sameen held it all this time so she could take care of Root’s situation to her satisfaction.  “Go ahead azizam, I’ll wait.”

Mah tucks Sameen in so she doesn’t wake Root and kisses her goodnight.

Yet again their daughter’s surprised them in the most spectacular way.  She wouldn’t trade her for any child, no matter how conventional.  But more importantly, she wouldn't want Sameen to change a single thing about herself even if she could.

 

* * *

 

She heads downstairs to file the report, while Abbas contacts the social worker on call.  But when he realizes who it is he changes his mind.  This particular social worker, Emily White, is not exactly his most stellar employee.  So he calls one of the social workers he thinks exemplifies the best care children deserve, Arthur Claypool.

When Mah’s done filing the report it takes a few minutes until it’s in their system.  Abbas calls the hotline to tell them they don’t need to call Emily and assigns Arthur to the case.  Arthur’s been waiting and when he receives Abbas' second call he readily agrees to a surprise visit tonight.  Everything is electronic so the specifics of the report, meticulously prepared by Mah, are already on his iPad.  He tells Abbas he’s going to visit Ms. Groves first, but by law he’s also going to have to talk to Root tonight.  Otherwise he can’t order an emergency placement.  Abbas knows this, but was hoping for more time.  But he can’t ask Arthur to break the law.

Mah overhears him and they head upstairs to talk to Root.  Root and Sameen are under the covers whispering.  Caught, they stop talking with guilty looks on their faces.  Mah sighs.  This time she is mad with Sameen, because she knows what they were talking about without asking, but there are more important things happening right now.

“Azizam since you already woke up Nāzi, let’s all go downstairs and I’ll make us some hot chocolate.”  Sameen knows there will be more severe consequences for disobeying Mah again, but as long as it’s not missing her martial arts class, she doesn’t mind.  She whispers to Root, “maman puts marshmallows, woot.”  Root smiles happily.

While Mah prepares the hot chocolate she observes Root.  She’s smiling at Sameen and doesn’t look particularly distressed over whatever Sameen may have told her.  Once they’re all sitting around the table, Mah looks at Root.

“Nāzi I know Sameen talked to you already, but can you tell me what she said?  I want to make sure you understand and I don’t want you to be scared or unhappy.”  Mah speaks to her softly and smiles encouragingly.  “Sam says my mother’s going to school to learn how to be a good mom.  She has to stay at the school at night, so I’m going to stay here with you until she’s learned.  Not forever but for a long time.”

Sameen’s ability to understand and explain to Samantha such a complicated situation astounds even Mah, who knows her daughter can do anything.  Just when she thinks she’s actually angry with Sameen, she does something like this and it’s just impossible to stay upset.  But there will be consequences.  A small one will be appropriate Mah justifies to herself.

“Yes, Nāzi.  Sameen did a good job explaining.  I want to tell you some more things, but first do you have any questions?”  Evidently Samantha’s already been thinking because she blurts them out immediately without pause.  “Am I in trouble?  Is my mom mad at me?  Did I do something bad?”

Mah may be lying about the second one, but she rushes to reassure Root.  “No Samantha, not at all.  This is a good thing.  So you don’t get hurt anymore and your mother can feel better.  You can talk to her on the phone and we can go visit her.”  Root leans back in obvious relief and sips her hot chocolate.  Sameen laughs when she comes up with a marshmallow on her nose.

Unfortunately, the ordeal is not over yet.  Abbas takes over this next part.  “Root, a nice man is going to come in a little while and ask you some questions.  It’s important you tell him the truth.  No one will be mad at you.  You’re not going to get in trouble and we’ll be right here if you need us.  Okay?”  Root nods hesitatingly and seems anxious, but there’s really nothing they can do to make it any easier for Samantha than they already have.

 

* * *

 

Arthur arrives soon after and they all go to the living room.  “Everyone this is Arthur.”  Arthur grins widely and says hello.  They all sit on the couch except Arthur who sits on the floor near Root so he can be at her eye level.  “Hi Root.  I’m here to talk to you about how you feel and things at home and in school.”  Root doesn’t say anything.  “If you don’t want to talk about something just tell me okay?  You’re in charge.”  Root seems to be relaxing and it seems a good time to leave her alone with Arthur. 

Abbas lets her know.  “Root we’re going to be in the kitchen.  If you need us just come get us okay?”  Whatever ease Root felt flies out the door into the kitchen with them.  But Sameen hasn’t moved from her spot next to Root.  Mah notices and comes back to get her.

“I want Sam to stay.”  Mah looks at Arthur and he lets her know that’s okay.  Mah hesitates, because listening to what Root may say could also be traumatic for Sameen. But if she’s learned anything tonight it’s that her daughter is wise beyond her years and Root has probably shared with Sameen most of what she'll tell Arthur anyway.  This is important to Sameen too.  She wants Root to stop hurting.  So Mah agrees and goes back to Abbas. 

Arthur starts with questions about her new school and her teachers, easing her into more serious topics.  “Root, do you feel bad sometimes?”  Root’s mostly been looking down at her knees but now she looks at Sameen.  Sameen holds her hand and nods encouragingly.  Sameen already explained she has to tell about the bad things her mother does, so they can get her the right classes at the school where Ms. Groves is going to learn to be nice to Root.

Root takes a deep breath.  “My mother hurts me sometimes.”  Root’s been working up to this since she talked to Sameen yesterday.  They had been planning to tell Mah about it but Root was afraid.  “She hits me hard and sometimes she puts hot things on me and it hurts a lot.  She says I’m bad and I do bad things so I get the punishment.”  The way she says it makes Arthur think she’s talking about something specific.  “Sometimes moms don’t do nice things.  It’s not right.  Can you tell me what 'the punishment' is?”

Root looks at Sameen and Sameen helps her sit up so Root can raise her shirt a little and show Arthur her back.  There are two relatively deep scratches in the middle of Root’s back.  They're straight edged.  It's possible they were made with a razor or sharp knife.  But more shocking, even to Arthur, are the faded lines all over her back where other wounds healed.  He looks at Root softly.  “It’s not your fault Root.  You’re not bad.”  Root lowers her shirt and sits down next to Sameen, clenching her hand even tighter than before.”

He tries to move to safer territory.  “So tell me what you eat for breakfast, is it good?”  Root explains she doesn’t eat breakfast and lunch consists of a sometimes apple and dinner is usually a sandwich, but sometimes the meat is bad and she just eats the bread.  She rushes to point out sometimes her mother’s friends, who are all boys, bring her burgers and fries.

Arthur suspected poor nutrition and Root’s unusually thin for a girl her age, but she’s also tall and sometimes that’s normal.  But he didn’t suspect this level of neglect.  Root isn’t showing any signs of sexual abuse, but it’s certainly possible given what he’s seen and heard tonight.  A therapist specializing in sexual abuse of children should probably speak with her, but that can wait.   

He already served Ms. Groves with the removal papers he prepared when Abbas called him and he’s spoken to Root as required.  Nothing she said changed anything except to make it worse.

“Root is there anything you want to tell me or ask me?  Anything at all?”  But Root’s drained and Arthur knows it’s time to stop.  “Thank you for telling me Root.  I’m going to help you and your mom.  I promise.”  Root nods her head and tucks it into Sameen’s neck.  Sameen lets her.

Mah and Abbas heard everything from the kitchen so Mah comes out immediately to comfort the girls.  She asks Root if she wants more hot chocolate, but Root says no and is as far hunched into Sameen as she can be while standing.  Sameen’s face doesn’t reveal how’s she’s feeling or what she’s thinking.  It’s a horrible situation all around.

Mah gets the girls settled and talks to them about tomorrow’s trip to the zoo until they fall asleep.  She makes sure Sameen is actually asleep before going downstairs.

 

* * *

 

She stops by the living room to get herself a scotch.  Double.  Mah and Abbas are not regular drinkers, but once in a blue moon they have a drink after dinner.  But Mah needs something to quell the rage coursing through her body.  Growing up she shared Sameen’s anger issues although she wasn’t introverted.  It took a long time to learn how to cope and not let them rule her life.  Martial arts helped immensely, which is why she got Sameen started so young.

She walks into the kitchen to find both Arthur and Abbas drinking whiskey.  She laughs dryly.  Under other circumstances it would be funny.  Abbas pulls her towards him and places his arm around her shoulders.

Since they were in the kitchen they didn’t see Root’s back.  Arthur fills them in on that and what he found at Ms. Groves house, which was basically what Mah saw first hand.  But Mah's shocked breathless by Root's scars.  “How could I not notice when I was helping her dress?  I completely missed it.”  Abbas soothes her as best he can.  “Mah Root’s been here less than two days and she knows how to bathe herself.  It’s not surprising you didn’t see it.  I know we would have soon.”  But Mah’s not letting herself be comforted.  “Sameen knew.  I heard Sameen talking very seriously to Samantha yesterday, but I didn’t hear what they said and I figured it was kid stuff.”

Arthur shares her grief, “unfortunately this _is_ kid stuff for far too many of them.”  For the first time it hits Mah what Abbas was trying to tell her.  To help Samantha they need to be invested for the long haul.  But that is perfectly okay with Mah.

They walk Arthur to the door and Abbas thanks him.  Arthur shrugs it off.  Every child he helps is one less child hurting.  He looks at them uncertainly before making up his mind to speak.  “Abbas I know you probably already reached my same conclusion.  But people like Ms. Groves are rarely rehabilitated in any meaningful sense.  They learn how to pretend at best and the child goes back to an even worse situation.  I just want you both to be prepared.”

It's Mah who answers. "Don’t worry Arthur; we will do whatever it takes to keep Samantha safe.  Count on it.”

 

* * *

 

The resiliency of children always amazes Mah.  Root and Sameen wake excited about the zoo.  Root’s smiling at Sameen and Sameen’s pretending to ignore her.  A game they’ve clearly played before.  Eventually Root says something Sameen can’t help but laugh at and Root wins.  It seems Root wins a lot.

They have a great time.  Root most of all.  The look on her face the whole day is amazement and wonder.  For the first time she sees animals she’s only seen in books.  Sameen fills Root in on the important facts about her favorite animals, lions, tigers, and gorillas.  But Root falls in love with the gazelles.  An apt choice, Mah thinks, they’re gentle and swift, but there’s much more beneath the surface.

The girls fall asleep in the car on the way home.  They don’t wake even when they’re lifted out of their car seats so Mah and Abbas decide to just put them to bed.  If they wake up they’ll make them something to eat and maybe get baths.  Mah’s already thinking of them as a unit because she suspects where one goes, the other will follow.  It will be interesting to see who leads.


	5. Dr. Shaw Does Not Like Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sam, when I get sick from all the candy, will you be my doctor?” She sounds oh so plaintive but the look on her face is all mischief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided I'm taking the girls through the holidays and their next birthdays. Then time will take bigger leaps so I can move them to middle and high school sometime before 2020.

On Sunday Mah makes a big breakfast since the girls missed dinner the night before.  After breakfast they take baths and Mah sees for the first time the damage on Root’s back.  She looks casually, while helping Root pick her clothes and get dressed.  It’s hard for her to keep a smile on her face when her heart breaks, but Root’s a little kid and Mah’s the adult.  She needs to keep it together for her. 

For the first time in her life Mah wants to use her skills to cause serious and maybe permanent bodily injury.  Mah’s also furious Ms. Groves hasn’t even attempted to contact Root.  Since Root hasn’t asked about her, they haven’t had to confront the painful truth, but it’s inevitable they will soon.  Samantha Groves has no idea the force of nature that’s come into her life.  But she will soon.

The girls spend the morning playing outside where Sameen tries to teach Root how to play soccer.  But Root’s all gangly limbs and poor coordination and soon they both decide it’s not happening.  Root’s foot cannot connect with the ball when it’s moving…and sometimes even when it’s standing still. 

Root climbs up to Sameen’s tree house and finds the small glider Sameen built.  The girls make up a game where they compete to see who can make the glider fly for the most time before falling to the ground. 

Sameen instructs Root.  “You throw it straight out woot.  Not hard but not soft.”  Root’s first attempt sends the glider straight down and Sameen furrows her eyebrows while Root laughs.  Sameen retrieves the glider. 

Although she doesn’t know it yet, Sameen has an innate grasp of the physics of aerodynamic forces.  She’s trying to explain to Root how the air affects the glider with little success.  But the language of physics is mathematics and mathematics also plays an important role in computer programming and hacking. 

Root knows more about mathematics than many adults.  So she thinks about it as a math problem.  But she doesn’t have the language yet to explain discrete mathematics to Sameen.  It just comes to her intuitively, which is why at 5 she can hack the xbox gaming site.  But her throws do improve.

They bumble along trying to find a common language.  There’s a lot of eye rolling by Sameen and giggling from Root.  But as is often the case, experience trumps theory.  Since Sameen has more practice, she wins, but Root doesn’t seem to mind in the least.

 

* * *

 

While the girls are outside playing, Arthur calls Mah.  The removal hearing is set for the following morning at 9am.  Root should not be present, but Arthur wants Mah to come in case he needs her to testify about what she saw firsthand at the Groves apartment.  Mah assures him she’ll be there.

 

* * *

 

She calls the girls in for lunch and Root tells her about their game.  Sameen digs into her lunch like she hasn’t eaten in days.  Root eats most of hers, but Mah catches her slipping the rest to Sameen out of the corner of her eye.  Since Root ate a healthy amount Mah pretends she doesn’t notice. 

She already knows Root’s relationship with food has been greatly affected by her mother’s neglect.  It’s going to take time for Root to realize its okay to feel hungry and that there’ll always be food to eat.  Mah sighs internally and wonders if she could plan the perfect murder.

She tries to get the girls to take a nap after lunch, but soon realizes it’s a hopeless cause when she finds Sameen hiding under the bed and Root counting with her eyes closed.  She can’t help but laugh.  These two are going to be a handful. 

It’s been just a few days since Root came to stay with them, but Mah can already see the girls are good for each other.  Root seems to understand and accept unconditionally Sameen’s way of interacting with the world, which in turns makes Sameen feel safe to express herself more often; and Root feels protected for the first time in her life.

So instead Mah lets them watch Finding Nemo, which Sameen likes and Root’s never seen.  When Mah checks in on them 20 minutes later, they’re both asleep on the couch.  Mah shifts them so they’re a little more comfortable and files away this tidbit of information for the future.  She’s sure it’ll come in handy.

 

* * *

 

On Monday morning Mah walks the girls to school then meets Arthur at the courthouse.  Ms. Groves shows up so drugged out, it’s obvious to everyone without need for discussion.  The emergency removal is approved.  Samantha will stay with the Shaw’s until further order of the court.

The judge admonishes Groves in the strongest tone possible.  “Ms. Groves, before reunification with your daughter is even _considered,_ you must complete a six-week inpatient alcohol and drug rehabilitation program.  While in rehab you must complete an extensive parenting program.  Do you understand me?”

Groves nods her head but it’s unclear if it’s an answer to the judge’s question or she’s just falling asleep.  The admission counselor for the rehab program is in the courtroom and makes arrangements for Groves to enter the program.  They all hope for the best.

The counselor talks to Mah before she leaves.  “No contact is allowed with the patient during the first week.  But here’s a schedule for next week.  It shows the time phone calls are allowed and hours for visitation.  If you have any questions, please feel free to call me.”  She hands Mah her card.

As they’re leaving the courthouse Arthur pulls Mah aside.  “When you mentioned Samantha’s frequent relocations, I looked into possible reasons.  I traced their history through the schools.  They’ve relocated five times to three different states in the last three years.  In each case, the schools reported suspected abuse.  Groves always moved before a visit by child protective services. 

It’s not uncommon for it to take several days for an investigation to start once suspected abuse is reported, particularly if no imminent harm is alleged.  If it weren’t for your meticulous report and Abbas’ authority, it may have been the case here.”

Mah wishes she could be surprised.  She thanks Arthur and returns home to prepare a snack for the girls before she picks them up. 

 

* * *

 

Halloween is next week and she wonders if the girls will want to trick or treat.  Sameen has refused every year, but maybe she’ll go with Root.  Mah will take Root by herself if Sameen decides not to go.  It occurs to Mah Root may not even know about Halloween.

She brings the subject up while the girls are snacking.  Mah tries to bring it up in a way that doesn’t make Root feel uncomfortable.  “Sameen, are you and Root going to dress up for Halloween this year?”  She figures this will give Root an opportunity to ask if she doesn’t know without the spotlight being on her.  Sameen looks at Root. 

Root thinks about it.  “I’ve seen it in cartoons.  Sounds fun.  We can get candy and pretend.”  Sameen pauses before she takes her next bite, which for Sameen is tantamount to the apocalypse.  “Okay.  Buth I pick the costhumes.”  Root readily agrees.  Mah smiles, happy the girls worked it out together.

Sameen announces her choices at dinner.  “I’m a doctor and Root’s my pathient.”  Sameen’s tooth is finally growing in and her speech has cleared up for the most part.  She looks self-satisfied and Root is smiling like it’s the best idea she’s ever heard.  Mah and Abbas agree and she promises the girls she’ll get them the costumes within the next few days. 

“Oh and maman we don’t want pumpkins for the candy.  We want the doctor bag.”  Root nods in agreement.  Mah looks at Abbas in puzzlement, not understanding what the girls are talking about.  Abbas catches on first.  “I think they mean the bag where the doctor keeps his things when he visits patients at their house.”  The girls nod.

Mah laughs a sigh.  “Okay girls, I’ll try.  But we might have to think of something else for the candy if I can’t find it, okay?  I don’t want you disappointed.”  Sameen looks at her mother with all the confidence in the world.  “You’ll find it maman.”

After dinner the girls go upstairs for their baths and Mah gets on eBay.

 

* * *

 

The week passes uneventfully.  Mah watches the girls closely in case there are any disputes requiring adult intervention.  But the girls seem to adapt to existing in each other’s space without thought.  It surprises Mah because Root touches Sameen often.  Pulling on her arm to get her attention, sweeping errant hair of Sameen’s face, and even occasional hugs.  Sameen doesn’t participate, but she allows the contact patiently and without complaint.  Most surprisingly, if Root’s scared or worried or hurt, Sameen holds her hand automatically.  

Mah asks them separately if they want the airbed set up for Root now that Root’s staying longer.  She wants both girls to be honest without worrying about hurting the other’s feelings.  Sameen looks at her like it’s a stupid question.  Mah really is going to have to work with her on the faces thing.  Root responds, “Sam says no,” with finality. 

Mah’s going to discuss it with Abbas, but maybe the girls will like bunk beds.  Sameen’s room is also big enough for two twin beds.  Mah suspects it’s the inequality that bothers Sameen.  If she has a bed, Root should have one too. 

Science club is cancelled due to the moderator’s illness, but they go with Sameen to her martial arts class.  Mah makes sure she doesn’t see the boy who injured Sameen last week.  There will be hell to pay if she finds out they didn’t expel him.  Root’s looking around carefully too, studying everyone who walks in until the class starts and she shifts her undivided attention to Sameen.  Mah suspects he might have more to worry about from Root if he shows up.

 

* * *

 

The day of Halloween Mah surprises the girls with the doctor bags.  But Root tells Mah to keep the second one in case the first one gets full, but only Sameen will carry the doctor’s bag.  She reminds Mah she’s the patient and Sameen’s the doctor.

The girls’ school has set up an age appropriate carnival where the teachers are dressed in different costumes and the kids can collect candy.  Mah and Abbas accompany the girls.  They look adorable and Mah takes so many pictures Sameen stomps away in an angry huff.  Root smiles patiently and lets Mah take a few more, but then runs off after Sameen.

The girls are standing in line at the candy store booth when an older boy laughs at Sameen’s doctor’s bag.  Sameen ignores him and Root looks at her nervously.  “Come on Sam lets go to the toy store one first.”  Sameen is gentle but firm.  “No.”  She squeezes Root’s hand confidently.

Mah and Abbas are standing nearby watching closely.  They’ll intervene if necessary but they’ve taught Sameen to stand up to bullies.  Tattling only makes the bully better at not getting caught, but they usually go away when the target tells them to knock it off with conviction.

When he can’t get a reaction from Sameen, he turns to Root.  Her costume includes a little IV stand with a bag.  It’s on wheels and Root’s been pushing it around enthusiastically and telling Sameen she needs to change the bag for all sorts of inventive reasons.  When Sameen sighs, Root giggles.  They’re playing the game again and Root’s trying to make Sameen laugh.  Mah thinks she’s been close a couple of times.

The bully reaches out his hand to push Root’s stand over and Mah prepares to intercede.  But before he even touches the stand, Sameen’s hand darts out and grabs his wrist in a vice-like grip.  She’s just holding his hand and not trying to hurt him in any way.  She waits until he looks her in the eyes.  What he sees there makes him take a step back, all his bravado gone.  “Leave her alone.”  The boy disappears and Sameen looks at Root reassuringly.

They continue with their fun without any further incident.  Sameen has a competitive nature and decides her and Root need to collect the most candy.  There’s no real way to know, but Root agrees anyway.  They both stand in line.  The first time Sameen asks.  They make the rounds of all the stands.  Then they start all over again and Root asks.  They get double the candy and have to switch doctor bags midway.

After the girls finish their mission, they all head home.  “Sam, when I get sick from all the candy, will you be my doctor?”  She sounds oh so plaintive but the look on her face is all mischief.  Everyone, including Sameen, laughs and Root wins the game.  She smiles with glee all the way home.    


	6. Up, Up, & Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mah feels a twinge of guilt even though she knows Samantha’s mother doesn’t deserve any of her compassion. Mah called the program counselor several times over the last few weeks to see if Groves wanted to see or talk to her daughter. Each time she refused. Root only asked about her once and Mah explained her mother was working very hard and had to concentrate on her classes. But Mah saw it in Root’s eyes. She knows her mother doesn’t want to see her…she knows she doesn’t want her at all.

Due to Mah’s clever stashing of the candy no one gets sick on Halloween.  Root seems a little disappointed.

A few days later they take the girls to pick a bed and Sameen decides on bunk beds.  She also decides she’ll sleep up top.  The bed comes in different colors and Samantha announces she gets to pick because Sameen picked the bed.  She doesn’t ask Sameen and Sameen doesn’t protest, although she manages to guide Samantha away from yellow, which was her first choice.  Samantha ‘decides’ on a royal blue and Sameen ‘decides’ she can live with it.  At least it’s not pink.

 

* * *

 

At science club the following week, Ms. Mills tells Mah she’s found a professor at a local university that’s interested in tutoring Root as long as he can include her in his dissertation, which will examine the role of nature and nurture on the ethical development of child computer prodigies.  His name is Harold Hornbill and he’s considered one of the world’s youngest computer forensic experts.  He wants to meet with Root to determine if she qualifies to be included in his study.  If they decide to go forward, he will tutor Root free of charge once a week.  Ms. Mills gives Mah his contact information.

That night Mah discusses it with Abbas.  Right now the state is Root’s legal guardian.  As the state’s highest ranking official of the child protective services agency, Abbas has the legal right to make determinations regarding Root’s education.  Normally it goes through channels and through a series of supervisors, but Abbas always makes the final determination anyway.

“What do you think Abbas?  I suspect Root’s skills will continue to grow whether she receives tutoring or not;  but at least this way we can get an idea of her progress and make sure she understands right from wrong.  We can’t keep her away from computers, it wouldn’t be right or fair, and she’ll just teach herself.” 

Abbas gives thoughtful consideration to the question.  It’s a major decision in Root’s life and will impact her for years to come.  But the truth is Abbas knows whatever they decide will be better for Root than leaving the decision in Ms. Groves hands.  “Let’s talk to Root and if she agrees, we’ll meet the professor.  Once we know more about him and get a sense of his motivations, we’ll decide what’s best for Root.  Even if we decide Root should receive tutoring from an expert, she should have a say in whether she likes _this_ particular one or not.”  Mah makes the arrangements to meet the professor on Saturday.

 

* * *

 

A couple of days later when she picks up the girls, Mah detects what seems like furtive behavior.  Root’s not as talkative as usual and Sameen doesn’t meet her eyes.  She can’t imagine it’s anything of major import or the school would’ve contacted her.  She decides to wait and see.

Root and Sameen have their snack as usual and go into the backyard to play.  Root takes her backpack.  Another clue something’s up.  Root’s turned out to be as full of surprises as Sameen so anything’s possible.  Mah watches from the kitchen window.

The girls take Root’s backpack up to the tree house.  After a few minutes Sameen climbs down and starts to gather leaves and twigs.  She glances back at the house guiltily, clue number two, but can’t see Mah behind the window.  She climbs up and disappears inside again.  Mah decides to wait and see how this plays out.  She suspects the girls rescued some small animal.

When Mah calls them in for bath time they leave the tree house reluctantly.  They climb down slowly and keep glancing back when they think Mah’s not looking.  Root leaves the backpack behind, clue number three.  Mah devises a plan to help the girls with their rescue, while also showing them they shouldn’t be keeping things from their parents.  Root started calling Mah maman after Halloween and Mah considers Root as much her child as Sameen.

When Abbas gets home she has him check the tree house.  The girls rescued a nestling and have a makeshift nest set up.  They put it together out of the leaves and twigs Sameen gathered.  Abbas is actually impressed.  He brings down the nest and hides it on the back porch.  Mah and Abbas want to see what the girls do next.

At dinner Root seems distracted and Sameen talks even less than usual, which means she says nothing as opposed to the sentence or two they usually get out of her.  When they’re done with dinner the girls huddle in the living room.  When Mah walks in, Root tells her she forgot her backpack in the tree and asks if she can go get it.

“Of course Root.”  Sameen follows her and stands by the back door.  Root comes back with the backpack and a look that says she knows the jig is up.  “Okay girls, back to the living room.”  She hears Root tell Sameen, “they know.”  Sameen prepares to take her punishment.

Abbas and Mah sit on the sofa with serious looks on their faces.  The girls stand in front of them.  Abbas looks at them both.  “Which one of you would like to explain why a baby bird made its way home with you and why you kept it from us?” 

Root takes the first part.  “I found it during lunch but the nest was too high up in the tree for Sam to climb.”  Mah fights to suppress her smile at the girls assumed roles in the endeavor.  “I didn’t want it to get hurt.”  Sameen takes over the next part.  “Ro…we were afraid we couldn’t keep it.”

Abbas nods in understanding.  “Well, you’re right.  You can’t keep it.”  Sameen takes it stoically but Root’s lower lip starts to tremble.  Mah knows Sameen.  She became a coconspirator to make Root happy.  But it doesn’t change her role in the escapade.

Abbas hurries to explain before Root’s tears start to fall.  “You can’t keep it because he belongs with his family.  If the nest is still in the tree we can put him back so they can be together.  He misses his family and they can take care of him and teach him to fly so he doesn’t fall out again.”  Abbas has no clue to the bird’s gender or how to check but they girls don’t know that. 

Sameen starts their apology “We’re sorry bâbâ,” and Root finishes it… “we won’t do it again maman.”  This is why Mah finds it so hard to discipline the girls.  Their unity just blows her away.  It’s too endearing for words.  “Do you know what you did wrong?”  Mah wants to make sure they understand it’s their hiding the bird that created the problem.  Root represents them.  “Yes maman.  It was wrong not to tell you.” 

Mah keeps what she thinks is a stern look on her face.  “In this family we don’t keep secrets.  We’re going to love you and help you no matter what you think you did wrong.  So I don’t want to see this behavior again girls.”  They nod solemnly.  “Okay up to bed.  There will be consequences.  Sameen explain to Root what I mean before you go to bed.  I’ll tell you what they are tomorrow.”  Mah has no idea what they’ll be.  Maybe Abbas can think of something.

A few minutes later Mah comes up to tuck the girls in for the night and hears the tail end of Sameen’s explanation.  “It’s so we remember not to do it again.  But don’t worry Root.”  But Root is worried because it sounds like punishment and she knows all about it.  Root’s voice sounds small and scared.  “Sam, do we get cut?”

Mah rushes into the room before Sameen can answer and gathers Root in her arms.  “Never nāzi.  You will never get cut or hit or burned or hurt in any way.  It’s a consequence not a punishment.  It’s to teach you right from wrong and help you remember.  Abbas and I love you very much.  You’re always safe here nāzi.”  Sameen’s been holding Root’s hand supportively and Root looks at her for confirmation.  She doesn’t totally relax until Sameen nods in affirmation of Mah’s words.

Now it’s Mah whose tears are threatening to fall.  She kisses them both goodnight and turns off the light.  By the time she returns to Abbas she’s crying and he holds her until she can explain.  He doesn’t cry but it makes him sad and furious…and worried.  Worried they won’t be able to keep Samantha safe forever.

They both check in on the girls before going to bed.  They find Root’s bed empty.  She’s on the top bunk sleeping with Sameen.  Both girls are sound asleep with Sameen holding Root’s hand.

Mah forgets all about any consequences this time.  Or at least that’s what the girls think.  The truth is Mah can’t bear to make Root suffer over the relatively minor transgression.  At five years old she’s already suffered for a lifetime.  

            

* * *

 

Mah has been waiting for the girls’ first fight, but the weeks have passed and it hasn't happened.  They’re inseparable.  They seem to disagree sometimes, but it consists of Sameen huffing away and Root ignoring Sameen’s anger until she comes around.  No apologies of course, but Samantha doesn’t expect or want one.  Nothing Sameen says or does upsets Samantha.  At least nothing Mah observes.  The most Samantha ever does to show displeasure with Sameen is scrunching her face and crossing her hands firmly.

 

* * *

 

The next day Arthur calls.  Mah’s been dreading this moment.  Ms. Groves’ set to finish her rehab next week and if she completes it successfully, there’ll be little they can do to prevent Samantha from going home with her. 

So Mah breathes a sigh of relief when Arthur tells her Ms. Groves left the program early against the court’s order.  If she wishes to return, she’ll have to start all over, which gives them at least another six weeks.  Root will definitely be with them on her birthday and through the holidays.

Mah feels a twinge of guilt even though she knows Samantha’s mother doesn’t deserve any of her compassion.  Mah called the program counselor several times over the last few weeks to see if Groves wanted to see or talk to her daughter.  Each time she refused.  Root only asked about her once and Mah explained her mother was working very hard and had to concentrate on her classes.  But Mah saw it in Root’s eyes.  She knows her mother doesn’t want to see her…she knows she doesn’t want her at all.

So although the news is excellent, Mah wonders how Root will perceive the latest development.  But all she can do is love Samantha and show her there are people who love her and want her and like her.  She also knows whatever happens Sameen will be by Samantha’s side.  Hopefully they won’t all suffer in the end.


	7. Professor Hornbill Comes To Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe we should speak privately?” Mah thinks about it, but decides Root should hear whatever he has to say. She’s still very leery of adults in general and has trouble believing until she sees for herself. “No Harold, I think we should talk with Root here.” Harold looks like he’s going to argue, but the resolute look on all their faces changes his mind. Sameen reaches out and holds Root’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but I won't have time over the weekend to do much writing, so I thought I post this in the meantime. Thanks for your continued support and as always, feed the author!

On Saturday Professor Hornbill comes to the house to meet Root and her family.  Mah opens the door and sees a young man, probably in his 20s, with a pretty smile and curly hair that could best be described as riotous.  “Hi, I’m Harold.  You must be Mrs. Shaw.”  Mah never took Abbas’ last name, but she has no problem with people referring to her as Mrs. Shaw.

“Come in Harold.  Can I get you anything to drink?”  He follows her into the living room and declines the offer for refreshments.  “Let me get Abbas and Root.  I’ll be right back.”  Mah finds Root in the backyard with Sameen.

Root likes the idea of being tutored in computers, but she’s nervous about new people.  Mah explained she gets to decide if she likes Professor Hornbill and they’ll decide together the best way to get her advanced classes in computers. 

“Nāzi come inside.  Professor Hornbill's here.”  Root looks at Sameen nervously before she follows Mah inside.  Abbas heard the door and is already waiting for them in the living room, making small talk with Harold.  Abbas introduces the professor.  “Samantha this is Professor Hornbill.”  Harold smiles at Root.  “You can call me Harold, Samantha.”  Root nods at him cautiously and looks at Mah.  “Can Sam be here?”

“Of course nāzi, I’ll go get her.”  But Sameen was already sitting at the foot of the stairs, positioned to hear whatever was said in the living room, so Mah didn’t have to go far.  Mah smiles and holds out her hand.  They go back to the living room and Sameen sits next to Root on the couch.  Harold sits across from them in the arm chair.

“Samantha, Ms. Mills told me how advanced you are with computers.”  Before he goes on Sameen interrupts.  “Her name is Root.”  Harold looks at Mah and Abbas uncertainly, but Mah nods in confirmation.  “Okay.  Root, I’d like you to show me how to get into the xbox gaming site.  Is that okay?”  Root glances at Sameen and nods yes.  Harold brings out a laptop he’d brought with him and sets in on the coffee table.

He turns it towards Root and she sits on the floor in front of the coffee table so she can access the keyboard more comfortably.  Three minutes later she turns the laptop for Harold to see.  He thinks she probably has a question, but his mouth falls open when he sees she’s already on the site.  He looks at Mah and Abbas with sheer excitement.  Root returns to the couch.

“Maybe we should speak privately?” Mah thinks about it, but decides Root should hear whatever he has to say.  She’s still very leery of adults in general and has trouble believing until she sees for herself.  “No Harold, I think we should talk with Root here.”  Harold looks like he’s going to argue, but the resolute look on all their faces changes his mind.  Sameen reaches out and holds Root’s hand.

“I programmed this computer with much more stringent controls to prevent access to the internet in general and then to the xbox website specifically.”  Mah looks at Root.  “That means he tried to make it very hard for you to do it nāzi.”  Mah gives him a look.  He needs to use language Root will understand.  “Yes.  Root you did something other people, even adults, can’t do.  I would like to help you learn even more.  Instead of teaching yourself I will help you so you can learn more even faster.”  Harold looks at Mah and Abbas.  “If I contact Microsoft, they will give Samantha credit for finding vulnerability, or a problem, on their xbox site.  I think she’s probably the youngest person to ever do it.”

He looks back to Root.  “Root the company tries really hard so people can’t do what you just did.  They have the best computer people, adults, trying to stop people.  What you can do is very special and I’d like to help you very much.”

Mah decides they have enough for Root to absorb.  “Harold, we’ll talk about it with Root and let you know.  But do not tell anyone what Root can do.  We don’t want for Root to feel she has to do anything she doesn’t want to do.  Also, if we agree, the tutoring must take place here on Wednesday afternoons.”  Harold tries to change her mind.  “Of course I will not tell anyone what Root can do.  But usually my tutoring takes place at the university.”

“I’m not saying we’re agreeing to have you tutor Root, but if we do, it will take place here on Wednesdays afternoon.  That is not negotiable.”  Mah wants Root to feel comfortable and she’s not subjecting her to an unfamiliar man in an unfamiliar place.  She wants to make sure Root feels safe and she wants to supervise Harold's interaction with her.  She doesn’t want anyone pushing Root.  This should be fun and Root should go at whatever pace she wants.

Harold sighs, but nods in agreement.  Abbas decides they’ve heard enough for today.  He stands signaling its time for Harold to leave.  “Thank you for coming Harold.  We will talk with Root and let you know.  Next week is Thanksgiving, so we’ll get back to you one way or another the first week of December.  Harold looks disappointed he won’t know sooner, but it’s not like he has a choice.  Abbas wants Root to have plenty of time to think about it.

Mah walks him out and comes back to the living room.  “Nāzi do you have any questions you want to ask right now?”  Root looks uncertain and then nods no.  “Okay, you think about it all you want.  Let us know if you have questions, okay?”  Root nods and looks at Sameen.  Mah has no doubt she has to consult with her confidant and smiles.

“Okay, you girls can go back to playing.  I’ll call you when it’s time for lunch.”  The girls scramble off the couch and out the door without another word.

Mah looks at Abbas.  “What do you think?”

“I think he’s a nice young man.  Since he’ll be coming here only once a week, it shouldn’t put any pressure on Root.  But the most important thing is what Root thinks.  As far as whether it’s a good idea at all, I’ve thought about it a lot and I think we should nurture Root’s gift.  We can always try it and if it’s not a good fit for her, we’ll stop. 

But I do want to get an agreement in writing, particularly as to what he can publish or reveal regarding Root’s talent.  I want us to have the option to veto anything we think will not be good for Root.  For all her genius with computers, she’s still a child.  She may not be ready emotionally for all of this attention.”      


	8. Road Trip!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Knock, knock Sam.”  
> “Who’s there?”  
> “Cows go.”  
> “Cows go who?”  
> “No silly, cows go mooo!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of my ideas for the girls antics come from my nieces and my own childhood. Please share any funny or interesting stories that might fit for these two. I welcome the input!

The next day Mah and Abbas have a surprise for the girls.  They sit them down in the living room after breakfast.  Root looks nervous as usual.  No matter how often she’s reassured, she still thinks she’s done something bad and is going to be punished.  Mah suspects part of it is Root never knew when something she’d done would be labeled bad and she would be punished by her mother.  Sameen’s already holding her hand, knowing telling Root everything is okay won’t help the way Root feels.  Mah hurries through their surprise so Root can relax.

“Girls, you’re on vacation starting tomorrow so we’ve planned a family trip.  We’re going to Walt Disney World in Orlando.”  Root looks at Sameen for clarification, but Sameen’s not sure what it is either.  Abbas elaborates.  “It’s a park with rides and games and lots of fun things to do.  We think you girls will like it.  We’ll spend Thanksgiving there and come back next weekend.”

Sameen lets go of Root’s hand.  “Sounds like fun Root.”  Now that she’s sure she hasn’t done anything wrong, Root smiles and nods in agreement.  “We’ll be leaving early tomorrow since it’s a long drive.  So we’ll start packing in a little while to make sure we don’t forget anything.  Why don’t you girls go upstairs and take out anything you want for the trip and put them on nāzi’s bed?”  Then something else occurs to Mah.  “Nāzi, the park has a website.  Would you like to look at it on Sameen’s computer?”

“Yes, maman.”  Mah gets up and finds a piece of paper to write down the website address.  Root could probably find it by herself, but she waits patiently for Mah.  “Here you go.”  Mah hands her the piece of paper with the website address:  https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/destinations/magic-kingdom/

The girls race up the stairs and Sameen shouts out her victory for beating Root.  Mah tells them repeatedly not to run in the house, but the girls have recently responded by explaining it’s fast walking up the stairs, not running, like Mah really needs to get with it.  So Mah pretends not to hear them.

Root immediately sits at the computer and finds the website.  “Sam, look.  It’s a castle.  Maybe we can go inside it,” she speculates hopefully.  She clicks on the rides picture.  They both can read at second grade levels so it’s not hard for them to navigate the site.  “Look Root, its Buzz Lightyear!  I want to ride that one!  Oh, and look, Peter Pan!  Like the movie Root!”

Root’s eyes are trying to keep up with Sameen’s, but she’s distracted by the pictures of It’s A Small World.  “Sam, look at the pictures!  The people come from different places.”  Sameen’s not that impressed, but they can ride what Root wants too.  “Look Sam, we can ride on a pirate ship!”  Now that peaks Sameen’s interest.

When Mah comes upstairs 20 minutes later, the girls are still on the site exploring the different rides at the park and making a list of what they want to ride.  Their handwriting, unfortunately, is still that of five-year-olds, so Mah struggles to read their list.  “Don’t worry girls.  We get a map of the park when we get there and you girls can show us everything you want to ride. 

Now let’s see about your clothes.”  Of course the girls had forgotten all about their packing duties in their excitement, so they look up guiltily at Mah.  Mah laughs kindly.  “It’s okay, I know you’re excited.”

Mah’s taken Root to buy clothes and Root’s really started to exhibit her own sense of style.  She’d never been able to pick her own clothes before and Mah laughs when Root scrunches her forehead in concentration as she studies different outfits before picking one out.  After the first time, Sameen insists on staying with Abbas when they’re going clothes shopping for Root.  She has no interest in shopping.  Mah knows what she likes.  It’s one of the few times Sameen tells Root she’s on her own.

So Mah’s not surprised when Root considers her choices carefully before deciding what she wants to take with her.  Sameen’s done with her selection in minutes so Mah gives her another task.  “Sameen, since you’re done, pick out some games and toys to take to play in the car.  I’m going to take a couple of movies you can watch too.” 

Sameen dives into the closet and searches around for a bit.  A few minutes later she has a stack ready to go.  She’s picked two of each type of toy.  Two magnetic play sets, coloring books, etch-a-sketch, and sets of playing cards.  When Mah sees her going back for more, she steps in.  “That’s good azizam.  It’s not that long a ride.” She explains with amusement.

 

* * *

 

The next day Sameen wakes up when Root lands on her with an oomph.  Her eyes shoot open.  “Ouch Root!”  Root was trying to be careful, but she tripped on the top ladder rung of their bunk beds and landed on Sameen.  She giggles uncontrollably and starts to hiccup.  “Sor _*hic*_ ry Sam _*hic*_.”  Sameen rolls her eyes and pushes Root off her gently. 

“It’s not time to get up yet Root.  Maman will come get us.  Go back to sleep.”  Root can’t help her excitement.  She’s never been on a trip before.  At least not to anywhere fun.  The only time she’s taken a trip has involved moving to a new place.  “O _*hic*_ kay.  Can _*hic*_ I stay _*hic*_ here? _*hic*_ ”  Sameen scoots over in reply.  Root calms down and her hiccups finally go away.  They’re both back to sleep in minutes.

Mah wakes them a couple of hours later.  She often finds Root on Sameen’s bed.  Mah has asked Sameen before if Root has nightmares and although Sameen would neither confirm nor deny, she knows how to keep a secret, Sameen’s non-denial told her all she needed to know.  Abbas and her have discussed taking Root to a counselor to help deal with her abuse, but they know the process is a painful one, so they’ve decided to wait for now. 

Maybe Root just needs a little happy normalcy for awhile.  Besides, Mah has a doctorate in child psychology so she’s better equipped than most parents to know how to meet Root’s needs.  But it doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t ache for Root, knowing the pain the little girl has already endured.

“Okay girls, come down for breakfast.  Then you can brush your teeth and we can get going.”  Root rubs her eyes sleepily, but Sameen scrambles down the ladder immediately at the mention of breakfast.  By the time Mah and Root get downstairs, Sameen’s already at the table eating. 

While Mah helps the girls wash up after they’re done, Abbas packs the car.  When the girls are ready, Mah heads downstairs.  She realizes the girls aren’t following her and looks back to see them in deep conversation.  Root nods yes reluctantly and Sameen goes back to their room.  She comes out a minute later and Mah sees a small stuffed animal in her hand.  It’s a small dog Sameen received as a gift some time ago. 

Mah hadn’t seen it in ages.  Sameen puts it in her pocket and the girls meet Mah at the door.  Mah decides not to ask why Sameen brought the toy.  She’ll observe them and figure it out.  She tries not to place the girls in a position to tell each other’s secrets.  It’s more important to foster their relationship.

 

* * *

 

Despite all their excitement, the girls fall asleep soon into their drive.  Mah and Abbas talk softly.  He tells her about road trips when he was growing up.

“Back then kids didn’t have to wear seatbelts so we sprawled all over the back seat, pinching each other, crossing the invisible center line to bother each other, climbing into the front seat to sit in the middle.  When we had a station wagon, we’d sit in the far rear fold-down seat, facing backwards and harassing the cars behind us.  Mah, now I panic if Sameen’s unbuckled from her car seat for 5 seconds.  Sometimes I wonder how I even made it to fatherhood with death staring me in the face at every turn when I was a kid?”  They laugh quietly, not wanting to wake the girls.

Mah has her own pet peeves about car seats.  “The worst thing about the car seats Abbas is the kids can’t pick up anything off the floor.  They drop things constantly.  Usually to the one place I can’t reach despite my human contortionist-like attempts from the driver’s seat.  That dangerous maneuver alone probably negates the safety advantages of the kids being strapped down to begin with.  And those five point harnesses could’ve been designed by NASA for a shuttle launch!  Sometimes I spend more time getting them in and out of the car seats, than the entire time spent driving to get wherever we were going!

Thank the universe they’ll be big enough for booster seats soon.  I’m sure they’ll know how to buckle themselves in and out in no time.”

Mah hears the girls stirring in the back and turns around to look at them.  “Maman I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay azizam.  We’ll stop at the next exit.  Nāzi do you have to go too?”  Root nods yes.  “Are you girls’ hungry?”  Root nods no, but Sameen, of course, nods yes emphatically.  They stop at a rest stop and Mah takes the girls to the restroom.  They go to the family one so Mah can try to preserve some semblance of sanitation.

When they’re done they meet Abbas at a picnic table where he’s taken out the snacks he prepared at home.  Sameen picks a bag of ‘satellite snacks.’  Abbas invented the snack by sticking salt-free pretzel sticks into cubes of low-fat cheese and then giving it an interesting name.  Root decides to eat sliced apples. 

Mah observes closely as Root reaches for one of Sameen’s snacks.  Sameen does not like to share her food, but she lets Root steal a snack without comment and takes an apple slice when Root offers her one.  It’s fascinating to Mah the changes she’s seen in Sameen since Root came to stay with them.  Root may be lucky to have them, but they’re just as lucky to have her.

The rest of the car ride passes just as smoothly.  The girls watch Peter Pan in preparation for the ride at the park and then play Root’s favorite game where she tries to get Sameen to laugh.  Mah’s noticed she’s getting better at it and Sameen has a hard time containing her laughter.  This time she’s telling Sameen jokes.

“What do you call an old snowman Sam?”  Sameen looks at her patiently.  “Water!”  Sameen doesn’t laugh.  “Why was 6 afraid of 7?”  Sameen already knows this one and ruins the punch line.  “Because 7, 8, 9!”

So Root switches to knock knock jokes.

 

> “Knock, knock Sam.”
> 
> “Who’s there?”
> 
> “Cows go.”
> 
> “Cows go who?”
> 
> “No silly, cows go mooo!”

 Root cracks herself up, but Sameen is not impressed. 

 

> “Knock, knock.”
> 
> “Who's there?”
> 
> “Boo.”
> 
> “Boo who?”
> 
> “Well you don't have to cry about it.”

Sameen just rolls her eyes at that one and Mah laughs.  Root switches it up again.

“Sam, what’s the best thing to put into a pie?”  Sameen shrugs her shoulders.  “Your teeth!”  Sameen almost smiles.  “Sameen, why shouldn’t you tell an egg a joke?”  Sameen doesn’t answer.  “Because it might crack up!”  Sameen rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but she can’t hide her smile.  Root senses victory on the horizon.  She should’ve known the food ones would get to Sameen.  “Sam, did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?”  Sameen nods her head no.  “I'm not telling you. You might spread it!”  Sameen can’t hold it anymore and she laughs.

But she has a joke up her sleeve too.  Mah helped her learn it.  “Root, what did the computer do at lunchtime?”  Root’s face lights up.  “I don’t know Sam, what?”  Sameen looks at Mah for confidence.  “Had a byte!”  Root laughs so much she cries and Sameen smiles from ear to ear.


	9. Finding Nemo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mah takes pictures of the girls in the sun-dappled water as they have a splash fight and her heart swells with happiness at the innocent glee on both their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience during my not so short hiatus! This is a short chapter to get back in the groove. 
> 
> The girls are off to Walt Disney World and a lot of firsts for Root. 
> 
> WDW is actually one of my favorite places and I've been there dozens of times in my life. Most recently to celebrate my five-year-old niece's birthday. It was Halloween days and it's true what they say, you never run out of candy at Disney.
> 
> I'll be posting at least once a week from here on out...thanks for all your encouragement and comments. I really appreciate it!

The girls are mesmerized by all the characters.  They’re staying at Disney’s Art of Animation, which is littered with storybook landscapes from all the Disney movies.  Sameen’s recently shown interest in art and she’s drawn to a life-size sketch of Simba from the Lion King.  Root’s looking around, her eyes wide at the sight of kids running around, playing and shouting with excitement. 

“Look Root, its Nemo, from the movie we saw.”  When she doesn’t get an answer, Sameen looks around for her friend.  She must see something the adults don’t because she walks over and grabs Root by the hand.  They talk for a second and then Sameen hands her the stuffed dog she’d brought from home.  It’s a small toy but still bigger than Root’s tiny hand.  She grips it tightly and follows Sameen over to the wall with the sketches.

Mah sends Abbas to reception and joins the girls.  She sits on a bench keeping an eye on them.  Sameen’s naming all the characters for Root and telling her about the movies.  It seems obvious now Root’s a little overwhelmed and maybe a little scared at all the sights and sounds.  Little by little she seems to relax and starts laughing at something Sameen says.

Mah calls them back before they wander too far.  Sameen sits on the bench next to Mah and Mah pulls Root onto her lap, placing a small kiss on her forehead.  “What do you think girls?  I think we’re going to like staying here.”

Root nods yes tentatively and Sameen moves on to her first priority.  “Maman, I’m hungry.”  Mah smiles at her daughter’s bottomless appetite.  “We’ll eat as soon as we leave our luggage in the room azizam.  Look, Abbas is waiting for us by the elevator.  Let’s go.”  Mah carries Root and takes Sameen by the hand.

 

* * *

 

“Can I open the door bâbâ?”  Abbas hands Sameen the plastic keycard and she gets the door open on the second try.  They’re staying in a Finding Nemo suite and Root looks around when Mah puts her down and closes the door.  “Wow maman, it’s like being in the movie,” Root whispers in wonder.  “Yes nāzi and look, Nemo and his father are above your bed.” 

“Is Sam sleeping here too?”

“Of course.  You two will share this bed and Abbas and I will sleep in the bedroom.  Now let’s wash up so we can go eat.”         

While the girls are in the bathroom, Mah pulls Abbas aside.  “I think we should spend the day here and give Root a chance to get more comfortable.  We’ll go to the park tomorrow.  It’s hot enough for them to enjoy the pool.  What do you think?” 

“I think that’s a good idea.  Root does seem a little nervous.  Although I see Sameen thought ahead.  Isn’t that Bear Root’s holding?” 

“You know Abbas I had forgotten his name.  I saw Sameen talk to Root and then put it in her pocket before we left the house.  I would love to know what she said.”  Abbas smiles at the girls fondly.  “They really are amazing, Mah.  This was a great idea.  Once Root acclimates a little I’m sure they’ll have a great time."

 

* * *

 

“I want the burger maman and Root wants a grilled cheese.”  Mah and Abbas have gotten used to Sameen being the spokesperson for the pair, but she still checks with Root.  “Nāzi is that okay?”  Sameen rolls her eyes and Root nods eagerly.  Mah debates encouraging Root to eat a little protein, but decides to worry about it at dinner.  “Can I have French fries too maman?”  Mah smiles at Sameen.  “Yes azizam, as long as you drink your milk.”

Root decides on apple slices as her side and chocolate milk and Mah sees her stealing some of Sameen’s fries.  But then she realizes Sameen’s actually putting them on the side of her plate near Root.  Mah remembers it was Sameen who first made feeding Root her concern and she shares a knowing look with Abbas.

 

* * *

 

Sameen stands stoically while Mah lathers her skin with waterproof sunscreen and puts her hair up with a tie to keep it out of her face.  Root takes her turn more cheerfully, asking Mah to put her hair in a bun.  Once Mah’s satisfied the girls are as safe from the Florida sun as possible, she lets them wander into the Schoolyard Sprayground. 

Root laughs as she’s caught by one of the pop-up jets, gushing water up her slender frame.  While she’s distracted Sameen hides behind the Dory character in the middle of the play area.  Root looks around and seems to catch on to Sameen’s game.  But before Root can look for her, a little boy approaches her shyly.  He seems a little older, with sun-bleached hair and a gentle smile. 

“Hi, I’m Max.”  Root smiles widely at him.  “Hi.  I’m Root.”  Max laughs.  “That’s not a name.”  Root frowns.  “It’s my name.”  Max starts teasing Root playfully, singing “nope, nope, not a name…”  Root’s lip starts quivering, but Sameen appears behind her and stares at the boy, who stops singing immediately. 

Root senses Sameen and turns her head, grinning.  “Sam, this is Max.”  Max looks like he’s not sure whether to stay or seek the safety of his mother, but stands his ground.  “Hi.”  Sameen looks at him doubtfully, but if Root wants to play with him it’s fine with her.  “You can stay, but don’t make fun of her name.”  Max nods somberly and looks apologetically at Root.  “I’m sorry, I was just playing.”

But Root’s already forgotten the incident.  “Root have you seen the movie?  My favorite’s Sebastian, he’s over there.” 

“Sam and I saw it, but I fell asleep so I didn’t see it all.”

“Come on, I’ll show you.”  Root starts to follow Max, but looks back for Sameen, who’s nowhere to be found.  “Come on Root.”  Root and Max splash around looking at all the characters and jumping to avoid the jets, which they’re rarely successful in doing.

 

* * *

 

“Maman I want to go to the real pool.”  Mah’s been observing Root and Sameen, and although she couldn’t hear their conversation, she noted the arrival of the little boy into their group.  Although Root’s playing with him, Mah can see her looking around constantly and she knows she’s looking for Sameen.  “Okay azizam.  Go ask Root if she wants to come.”  Sameen looks likes she’s going to refuse, but then turns around and heads for Root.

“You know Mah, Sameen’s not happy with that little boy.  He was making fun of Root’s name.”  Mah looks at Abbas, “you heard him?”  Abbas nods with a smile.  “I was closer.  His name’s Max.  He was just playing.  You know boys that age show they like girls by teasing.  Sameen told him to stop and he did, but I don’t think she likes Root paying attention to him.”

Mah sighs; she knows Sameen’s not comfortable with the new arrival.  She’s accepted Sameen doesn’t like engaging with other children and nothing good has ever come from making her try.  If Root weren’t here, Sameen would be swimming by herself, occasionally talking with Mah and Abbas, but mostly enjoying her own company.  But if Root wants to play with the little boy or make other friends, Sameen’s going to have to learn to share Root’s attention.  If Root doesn’t want to join Sameen in the pool, Abbas can go and Mah will stay with her.

“Root, I’m going to the pool to swim.  Do you want to come with me?”

“Yes, but I don’t know how to swim Sam.”  She takes Sameen’s hand and follows her without a second look at Max.  Poor Max, he looks after Root pouting.  Mah hides her smile behind her hand as the girls approach.

“Maman Root doesn’t know how to swim.  Bâbâ can you teach her like you taught me?”

“Do you want to learn how to swim Root?”

Root seems hesitant and looks at Sameen.  “It’s easy Root; bâbâ can get you floaties so you don’t sink.”

“Why don’t you girls go to the shallow end of the pool and Root can get used to it a little.  I’ll go to the gift shop and get the floaties.  Root, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to try okay?”  Root seems reassured by Abbas and intrigued by anything Sameen can do.  He leaves them by the pool and hears Root squeal as her feet touch the cold water.

Although there are plenty of people in the pool, its size prevents anyone from feeling crowded.  Mah sits with Root in the shallow end and hands Sameen her goggles.  Her eyes are sensitive to chlorine so Mah always comes prepared.

“Okay Root, watch me.”  Sameen walks a little deeper and then sticks her head in the water, her tiny hands stroking and her feet paddling in her wake.  She splashes Mah and Root and they laugh as they block their faces with their hands.

Root’s completely awed by her friend’s ability.  “Do you think I can learn to swim maman?”

“Of course nāzi.  But Sameen didn’t learn in one day.  Today you can just try it and see if you like it.  Abbas is a good teacher.”  Root hasn’t taken her eyes off Sameen, who’s making her way back to them.  “See Root?  Maman, I heard music under the water.”

Before Mah can explain, Abbas is back with the floaties for Root.  The afternoon flies by as they enjoy themselves.  Root takes to swimming like a fish to water and by the end of the afternoon she’s comfortable enough to let Sameen pull her around while she practices paddling her feet.

Mah takes pictures of the girls in the sun-dappled water as they have a splash fight and her heart swells with happiness at the innocent glee on both their faces.


	10. Go Cow or Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, but you’re both drinking milk or no dessert.” Neither girl is bothered by the requirement. It’s not like they ever refuse to drink milk. They both like it. But it has to be the real stuff. Mah tried to sneak some 2% past Sameen recently and she spit it out in the sink, looking at Mah like she tried to poison her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited update is here! I know I keep promising more consistent updates but things just get away from me. So I'm trying something new. Instead of trying to put out one lengthy chapter, I'll post in a series of shorter chapters (not this one because you all deserved more for sticking with me and the story). At least that way you can stay invested in the story as it moves along. 
> 
> Thanks to an insightful comment by MikoNeko, I rethought the character of Miles Friedman (the computer guy that may teach Root) and renamed him Harold Hornbill. He may or may not end up being reminiscent of Finch, but at least the setup is there. The Hornbill is a rare bird, their beaks are made of pure bone that constitute up top 10 percent of their weight.
> 
> People disagree about how useful or necessary math is for programmers and developers. I've chosen to go with the school of thought that finds it a key component to their work.
> 
> As always, feed the author!

If Sameen hadn’t gotten hungry, Mah doesn’t think she would’ve been able to drag her and Root away from the pool.  She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Sameen with such a carefree smile on her face.  She laughed and smiled and played with Root.  It’s not that Sameen never smiles, but never so consistently.  She’s also accustomed to keeping herself entertained, so Mah worried Root would feel rejected if Sameen didn’t want to play with her.  Mah wouldn’t have forced her to; but she had her speech ready to explain to her why Sameen sometimes preferred to play alone.  But Sameen surprised her parents and it wasn’t necessary. 

Mah was relieved.  In her time with them, she’s learned Root is extremely sensitive.  She doesn’t quite believe yet people can like her and her mother was wrong; she is special and lovable.  So Mah and Abbas are trying to keep it in mind to shield Root, not from other people, but from her own sense of inadequacy.  Its moments like these Mah curses Root’s mother in her mind; although it’s not right, she hopes she never follows the court order and Root can stay with them indefinitely. Root’s been good for all of them, not just Sameen.

They have an early dinner because Mah plans to get them to the park when it opens tomorrow.  She heard Root talking about the castle so she wants to make a reservation for lunch and an appointment for Root at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.  It’s a salon for kids where they can turn into any Disney character they like, makeup and nails included, and even a costume if Root wants it.  She knows Sameen won’t be interested in the least, but it doesn’t take long and she can go ride something with Abbas until Root’s done. 

Mah’s always annoyed at Disney’s sexist portrayal of gender roles, but at least it’s gotten better through the years with a more diverse portrayal of strong women; women who don’t _need_ a man to function.  Men are great, but Mah believes women need to learn to be independent so they don’t _ever end up_ helpless or dependent, on anyone, not just men.  They can also choose to be a princess, so long as they’re making their own decisions.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Mah hears Root waking Sameen.  “Saaameeen…are you awake?”  Mah can’t see them from her room, but she hears Sameen grumbling.  “No Root.  It’s not time to get up yet; go back to sleep.”  Mah hears the rustling of the covers.  “Root!”

“But aren’t you excited Sam?!” Mah laughs quietly and joins the girls.  Sameen’s forehead is wrinkled and she’s frowning.  Evidently Root pulled the covers off her.  “I was coming to wake you both up anyway Sameen.  We’re going to the park early.  They’re less people and the lines are shorter.”  She notices Sameen perks up at the ‘less people’ part, but Mah knows even ‘less people’ are going to irritate her daughter.

The girls enjoy the tram ride to the ticket and transportation center.  Root laughing at the wind blowing her hair every which way and Sameen watching which controls the driver’s using.  When they get to the monorail Abbas asks if they can ride up front with the driver and the attendant agrees; they just have to wait for the next monorail because another family is already riding in the one at the station.  Although Sameen’s complaining she’s hungry, when Abbas explains she waits patiently.  She wants to see how they drive the snail.  No one’s told her the name but it looks like a snail to her.

Mah notices something fall out of Root’s pocket.  It’s Bear.  She picks him up, handing it back to Root without comment.  Her doctorate in psychology taught her to understand children’s attachment to certain toys; they believe that cherished toys have some other quality, an essence.  The children know their toys are not alive but they believe in them as if they are anyway.  But it still doesn’t tell her what Bear means to Root or how Sameen may have comforted Root with the gift.  It’s not important she know the specifics, she just needs to tell Abbas they better keep an eye on Bear; she doesn’t want Root to have to deal with the loss, even such a minor one.

When they board the monorail the girls look around curiously.  As they start to move, Sameen has all sort of questions like what makes the monorail go since they don’t have wheels, and why is it shaped like a snail, and why doesn’t it fall, among others.  The Disney employee must be used to children riding up front because he answers all of Sameen’s questions patiently and with a smile.  On the other hand Root’s staring out the windows in wonder.  When the monorail goes through the contemporary resort she gasps, "we're going to crash" and tucks her head in Mah's neck.  When she pokes her head back out at Mah's reassurance, she's relieved they didn't.  When the monorail approaches the park she squeals.  “Maman, it’s the castle!  Sam, look!”

 

* * *

 

They arrive a few minutes before the park opens and there’s already a huge crowd waiting.  Abbas tells Mah to stay with the girls and he’ll make his way to the front and go to the castle to make lunch reservations and the appointment for Root.  They have a breakfast reservation at the Crystal Palace, so Mah and the girls go on ahead and Abbas joins them when he’s done.

They’re seated right away and Mah takes the girls through the buffet line.  Even for Sameen, who's much stronger than most kids her age, the plate is kind of heavy, but she manages while Mah helps Root.  Sameen piles her plate with way too much food and Root with too little.  Mah takes most of the sugary items off Sameen’s plate and makes Root pick some type of egg so she gets protein.  She decides on an omelet, explaining scrambled eggs are icky and fried eggs are slimy.  She does like most vegetables though, so Mah orders her omelet with tomatoes, adding in some cheese for a kid friendly taste.  Root likes cheese.  And tomatoes are technically a fruit, but so it goes.

The characters come around to the tables and Root takes pictures with all of them enthusiastically.  Sameen only agrees to a picture with Eeyore.  When Mah asks why she likes him, Sameen tells her he’s the smartest one in the movie.  Mah wonders if Sameen finds it easier to relate to the character’s more somber attitude.

 

* * *

 

“I do not need a stroller Maman!”  Root looks concerned at Sameen’s vehemence.  “Maybe not.  But there are too many people here and Abbas and I have to make sure we don’t get separated.  Would you rather get carried through the park?”  Sameen scowls at the suggestion, anger scrunching up her little face.  She’s not a baby!  “When we get to the rides or in less crowded areas, you can walk around all you want.  Okay?”  Sameen nods, but it’s the ‘I’m just a kid what choice do I have’ acquiescence.  Mah knows Sameen couldn’t possibly be thinking something like that, but it sure looks like it from her expression.  Abbas gets one of the double strollers and they stroll down Main Street. 

It’s too loud to hear what’s going on in the stroller but Mah would bet Root’s trying to make Sameen laugh.  When they stop to take the obligatory picture with the castle in the background Root’s grinning wildly and Sameen seems…not angry.  She gets back in the stroller without complaint and they head off for Fantasyland.

Root’s appointment is in a few minutes so Mah lets the girls get out of the stroller.  “Nāzi, there’s a place here where they can paint your face like a Disney character and your nails too.  You can even get a costume if you want.  Do you think you would like that?”

Sameen backs away and holds Abbas’ hand.  She is not getting made up like some princess!  “Can I pick which one?”

“Yes you can.  Do you know which one you’d like?”  Root discusses it with Sameen who confidently picks one for her.  “Elsa from Frozen.  She can make ice from her hands and she’s pretty.”  Root smiles.  Sameen thinks Root’s pretty!  She informs Mah and they find their way to the salon.  Sameen’s going to ride the Mad Hatter Tea Cups with Abbas.  Root won’t ride it.  It seems scary, all the spinning around.

Mah wonders if Sameen, or Root for that matter, knows Elsa’s not a princess like most of the female characters in Disney's movies; she’s the main character in the movie, a very strong one.  The hairdresser at the salon says it’s not a problem to make Root up like Elsa.  Mah stays close to Root whose gone quiet.  She doesn’t seem upset, just a little overwhelmed.  While one person does her hair, another is painting her nails.  It’s a lot of attention.  Mah leans against the short counter top so Root can see she’s close enough to touch.  When Root asks for black nail polish she tells the lady to do it before she can make any kind of suggestion or comment and make Root feel bad about her choice.

Forty five minutes later they reunite in front of the carousel.  Root’s smiling shyly at Sameen.  She decided she wanted the costume so she’s wearing Elsa’s outfit from Frozen, gloves and all.  “Wow, Root.  I like your gloves.”  Root grins widely at Sameen’s approval.  "Nāzi don't forget to give azizam her present.  Sameen looks at Root expectantly and Root hands her a pirate sword.  "They said I could pick something.  We can play pirates!"  They offered Root a sash and a makeup bag, but when Root saw the swords she wanted one for Sameen.  Mah gave the lady another deadly look before she could tell Root swords were for boys.  

They decide Root can pick the next ride since Sameen already picked one.

 

* * *

 

Root decides on The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.  Mah grows nostalgic.  It used to be Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride when she was a child and it was her favorite.  The line’s not long and the weather’s cool so the girls don’t fidget too much. 

As they approach the front, the attendant tells them they have to ride two to a car and guides her and Root to one and Abbas and Sameen to the other.  Sameen doesn’t complain but Root is not happy and refuses to get into the car.  “But Maman, I want to ride with Sameen.”  Her lip is quivering a little although Mah doubts she’ll actually cry.  She ignores the attendant and squeezes both girls next to her while Abbas rides alone in the next car.  They fit perfectly; it’s not like someone’s spilling out for heaven’s sake.  Plus it makes perfect sense kids would want to ride together and small kids need an adult!

From the moment she feels the first gust of air as they begin their ride, Root’s a goner.  She snorts in surprise and can’t stop laughing when they get to the part where Tigger’s standing on top of Pooh while he lies on the ground.  Her little body’s swaying to the music and it’s adorable.  “Maman it looks so real!  Look Sam, its Eeyore!”  Sameen seems to be studying the set more than the characters and Mah wonders what she’s thinking. 

Root drowns Sameen with her laughter and enthusiasm.  “Sameen isn’t it pretty?!”

“I like the colors.  They’re so bright.  Look at the red.”  Leave it to Root to actually get Sameen to say what she’s thinking without even trying.  Mah explains about the colors.  “It’s called glowing azizam.  The colors light up in the dark.”

“How?”  And just like that Mah’s stumped.  “I’m not sure.  But maybe Root can help us look it up on the internet when we get home.”  Sameen seems satisfied with the answer.  She’s an unusually patient child, unless it’s something really important to her, like martial arts or food, and now Root, not necessarily in that order.

Sameen picks Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin.  This time Abbas sits with the girls.  Sameen’s smiling with something like glee.  “Root, we get to shoot them.”  Mah and Abbas haven’t let her be exposed to violent television, but it’s unavoidable.  Kids talk at school and these days even cartoons are shooting each other up.  But Abbas isn’t worried about Sameen.  She knows you don’t shoot people in real life.  Doesn’t she?

Sameen aims her laser at the space aliens with precision.  Her score shoots up with every shot.  Meanwhile Root’s just pointing all over and exclaiming about everything she sees.  “Sam! Look! Shoot the alien red crab.  He looks mean!”  Sameen pivots immediately with a grace that amazes Abbas.  Children her age don’t really have stable control of their bodies yet, but it’s like she knows exactly where her body is at all times.  She shoots the crab and scores and Root claps her hands madly.  At the end of the ride Root ends up with a space cadet rating and Sameen ends up with galactic hero.  Sameen's impressed with herself and Root has no problem letting her be the hero.

They have time for a couple more rides before they need to go to lunch.  Sameen picks Peter Pan’s Magic Carpets and Root insists on sitting in the middle between Sameen and Mah because she fears falling out.  The ride makes it seem like they’re soaring much higher than they actually are, but Mah doesn’t disabuse her of the notion.  Explaining exactly how the ride works would take the magic out of it she thinks.  Besides, Root’s being cautious but she’s not scared or anything.  Sameen laughs at the scene with Hook and the Crocodile, while Root explains why the Crocodile’s not being nice to Hook.  “But he’s the bad guy Root.”  Root doesn’t look convinced.  Just because people say you're bad doesn't mean you deserve someone to eat you.

Root picks It’s A Small World next and although Sameen’s not interested at first, she begins to ask where the different people are from.  Between them Abbas and Mah know most of the answers, but some countries stump even their knowledge.  Sameen's fascinated by the masks from China and Root learns the song by the second chorus and sings along at the top of her lungs.  Sameen looks at her but doesn’t tell her anything even though she’s singing right into her ear and its apparent Root's absolutely tone deaf.

 

* * *

 

Mah can tell when Sameen’s getting grumpy and she’s doubly glad they’re headed for lunch.  Sameen can eat and the restaurant’s a relatively quiet place compared to the rest of the park.

When they get to the castle both of the girls are fascinated by the murals.  They both like the colors and Sameen’s trying to figure out if there’s a pattern to how the pieces of glass are placed.  Root stares at the mural for a minute.  “Sameen it's numbers.”  Sameen looks at her curiously.  “Pick any one and count.  1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21 and it goes on and on forever Sam.”

“Not forever Root.  It stops at the top.  Look up.”  Root looks up and laughs.  “Okay.”  Root is looking at the trees while Sameen is looking at the forest. 

Abbas is certainly not a mathematician but he’s pretty sure Root just recognized the Fibonacci sequence.  He doesn’t know if she’s right and the mural actually follows the pattern, but the numbers she rattled off _are_ the sequence.

After they met with Harold, Abbas conducted a little research on his own about computer programming and software development and computer prodigies.  All of the studies and articles in respected journals say knowledge of mathematics is critical and that computer prodigies very often are also math prodigies.  So not run of the mill calculus, but knowledge of logic, discrete math, combinatorics, and set theory, to name a few.  Software development specifically is basically engineering, but engineering of knowledge and process, not of physical things.  You need math for that.

He feels he owes it to Root to know as much about her gifts as he possibly can if he’s going to help guide her.  He’s not sure if she actually does have an advanced knowledge of mathematics; things she’s observed about the world around her and processed in a unique way, but he’s almost certain she knows much more than she’s letting on about her knowledge of computer languages. 

The question is why?  He’ll discuss it with Mah; she’s also read all the articles he found.  Maybe this ‘why’ is the first of a series of questions they’ll have to answer together with Root to make sure she not only learns, but also understands, the difference between right and wrong.  The difference between you can do it and you should do it.

 

* * *

 

Root’s enthralled with everything about Cinderella’s Castle.  Looking at her wide-eyed awe, Mah wonders how a child Root’s age experiences the soaring spires, ornate turrets and regal royal-blue rooftops, evoking the magic and mystery of real-world castles.  She can’t remember what she thought when she first saw the castle decades earlier.  For one thing, it’s changed.  The murals the girls were admiring, the different shops throughout the years, and the sealing off of the walk-through originally connecting Main Street to Fantasyland, are just some of the differences between the castle of her childhood and the one the girls are seeing now.  She laughs at herself.  She’s not normally one for such introspection, but the different ways the girls see and experience the world is shifting her perspective.  They live in the same space and time, but she has no doubt they will have completely different memories of the things they experience together.

They climb the twisting staircase to the restaurant and Sameen stops to look up.  She doesn’t say anything but Root follows her gaze.  “It’s so high Sam.  Higher than birds fly.”  Sameen rolls her eyes a little and corrects her.  “Not that high Root.  Birds can fly higher.  Right maman?”  Mah’s learning to field these questions that ask her to basically choose between them.  “You’re both right.  Some birds can fly higher and some can’t.  If you girls are interested, we can find out on the internet.  Maybe we can figure out the type of bird you two found at school.”  Sameen seems interested but Root’s already settling herself into their assigned booth. 

The girls’ heads barely rise over the table but Sameen insists she doesn’t need a booster seat and Root agrees.  Mah didn’t expect any less from either of them.  The menus are also huge.  But the girls take one and hold it between them, reviewing the kids’ options.  They consult and seem to decide.  “Maman, I want the beef t’s and Root wants the chicken nuggets.  Oh and I want s’mores for dessert but Root wants the apple slices.”  Mah chuckles.  The menu says beef tenderloins, but that word obviously challenged even the girls’ reading skills.

She confirms the order with Root.  “Okay, but you’re both drinking milk or no dessert.”  Neither girl is bothered by the requirement; it’s not like they ever refuse to drink milk.  They both like it.  But it has to be the real stuff.  Mah tried to sneak some 2% past Sameen recently and she spit it out in the sink, looking at Mah like she tried to poison her.

They take their time with lunch so the girls have a chance to rest.  Mah knows if she mentions the word nap they’ll both insist they don’t need one, so her strategy has to be subtle. 

Everyone likes their meal; well everyone except Sameen who felt the beef was too hard.  Abbas has to laugh considering she had the beef _tenderloins_.  Sameen’s patient while Root enthuses over the characters again.  They get pictures with a few different ones from this morning and Root sits to look at the pictures on the screen of the digital camera.

By the time Mah and Abbas are done with their coffee, the girls’ eyes are drooping and they're practically lying down on top of each other on the bench, Root on top.  Once in their stroller, it only takes a few minutes for them to be soundly asleep.  Mah and Abbas decide to call it a day.  There’s no reason to rush to see everything, since they have a week to enjoy the parks.  The girls sleep through the monorail, the tram, and the car ride. 

At the resort Abbas gets them into bed and closes the blinds.  The nap probably means they’ll stay up late, but that’s okay.  They’re all on vacation.

Mah’s sitting on the couch just relaxing.  The kids got to ride all day but she walked and her feet hurt.  Abbas sits on the other end of the couch.  “Stretch out; I’ll rub them for you.”  She sighs in pleasure as his strong hands start massaging her aching arches.  “Mah, the most amazing thing happened today.”

“Which one?”  But she doesn’t even come close to guessing the story Abbas is about to tell.    


	11. Resilience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He pauses and exhales slowly. “You know she’s ours now right?” He’s right. Root’s theirs.

 

The next morning they all sleep late. 

The girls stayed up watching Mulan and laughing.  At one point Root told Sameen, “Sam, it’s like the sword you got, we can play and you can be Mulan.”  Sameen doesn’t respond, but it seems like she thinks it might be an okay idea.  Mah was curious, “Who would you be nāzi?”

“Mushu because Sam is my best friend.  He’s funny too.”  Mah smiled at the thought of Root as a scrawny, tiny, red, orange-accented Chinese dragon with blue horns.

 

* * *

 

Today they get through the park entrance much quicker since the park's already been open for a few hours and the morning rush people have spread out.  Sameen wants to ride the cars at the Tomorrowland Speedway; it’s one of the rides she saw on the internet.  This time Root and Sameen have to split up because the cars only fit two people, and they’re not tall enough to reach the pedals.  “I get the first car Root.  You stay behind me.” 

Mah rides with Sameen and she finds it endearing Sameen keeps looking back to check on Root.  The girls are both steering while the adults press the gas pedal.  Sameen glances sharply at Mah when she slows down on the bends; they’re only going seven miles an hour but it’s still jarring when they hit the guardrail.  But Mah obligingly presses the petal to the metal.  She can hear Root’s laughter behind them as she constantly bumps into the guardrail; eventually Abbas takes the wheel and they finish the race.

Root rushes Sameen the minute they exit the ride.  “Sameen it was fun!  We went too slow and a car hit us!”  Up to this point Sameen has been barely listening but she hears Root say someone hit her.  She looks at Abbas like he failed in his job protecting Root and then asks Root if she’s hurt.  But Root’s laughing and she asks Sameen if she liked going under the bridge.  Once she verifies Root is okay Sameen goes back to tuning her out, but Root keeps talking to her with a smile on her face; she doesn’t need Sameen to answer, she just wants to be next to her.

 

* * *

 

The girls need a bathroom break, but this time there isn’t a family bathroom so Mah sets the girls up in their own stalls and takes the one next to Sameen.  They’ve done this many times and Sameen knows to wait outside Mah’s stall if she finishes first.  It doesn’t occur to Mah to explain it to Root and as she’s flushing she hears Sameen's worried voice.  “Maman, Root’s not here.”  Mah immediately comes out, barely managing to button her jeans.  “She’s probably outside with Abbas.”  She keeps the worry out of her voice.

They rush outside, hand washing be damned.  Mah relaxes when she sees neither Abbas or Root and figures they must be together getting a snack or toy or something.  She can’t call him because his cell phone is in her backpack.  Never again Mah tells herself.  He’ll have to shove it in his pocket like everyone else who doesn’t carry a bag.  She won’t relax until she sees Root, but she tries to hide her anxiety from Sameen.

But 15 minutes later Abbas returns with an ice cream cone.  No Root.  He can tell by the look on Mah’s face and Sameen’s ramrod posture something’s wrong.  He dumps the ice cream and rushes to them.  “What happened?”  Immediately he notices.  “Where’s Root?”

“She must’ve walked out of the bathroom before Sameen and I were finished.  When you weren’t here I thought she was with you.  I didn’t think to explain to her Abbas.  I’m so used to Sameen knowing what to do I didn’t think about Root.”  Mah’s words are laced with guilt, but she immediately springs into action. 

She rushes over to the nearest employee to explain and he radios whoever it is they radio and within minutes Mah and Abbas are surrounded by security personnel combing the area.  The head of security tries to reassure them.  “The park is on lock down so no one can leave.  The rides are all stopping and the lights turned on so we can search.  I have other men covering the entire park although I don’t think she could’ve gotten too far.”  But Mah knows Root had at least 20 minutes to get lost or heaven forbid have something happen to her.  Mah will never forgive herself. 

She’s so focused it takes a minute for her to remember she needs to reassure Sameen.  “Don’t worry azi…”  But when she looks down Sameen’s not there.  Mah looks around the immediate area in a panic.  “Abbas where’s Sameen?!”  Sameen knows better than to leave their side in any crowded place, but Mah knows exactly what's happened.  “Abbas she left to look for Root!”  Before she can tell security her cell phone rings.  She almost ignores it but maybe it’s someone to tell them they’ve found Root.

But it’s not exactly.  It’s another employee telling her Root and Sameen are waiting at his stand.  At this point even Mah looses it a little in relief.  She’s so nervous Abbas has to take the phone so the man can explain how to get to them.

 

* * *

 

Mah rushes them and scoops them both into her arms.  Root’s sobbing and hiccuping at the same time and Sameen’s holding her hand with a serious but unconcerned look on her face.  Questions can wait for a minute.  Mah needs to feel them both in her arms.  She kisses their tiny faces all over and hugs them tightly.  When she can breathe again and they deal with security, they sit down at a table outside the Lunching Pad in the shade. Root’s not crying but she’s still gasping a little.  Mah pulls her onto her lap and Sameen sits on the table so they can all huddle together.

“Nāzi why did you leave the bathroom?”

“I couldn’t find you.  I thought you forgot me.”  Tears are streaming silently down her face.  “Maybe you left me.”  If she was going to say anything else it’s drowned in her quickly escalating tears.  Mah’s hugging her tight, but before she can answer Sameen pulls at Root’s hand until she’s looking at her and holds her hand.  Staring directly into Root’s eyes and in the most somber tone Mah’s ever heard come out of her daughter’s mouth, she comforts Root.  “I will never leave you Root.  I came to find you.  Bear helped me.”

Root calms down slowly and Mah sits Root on the table so she can hold hands with Sameen. 

“Sameen I understand you were worried and upset but you can’t wander off without an adult.  You could’ve gotten lost too.”  Mah’s not going to scare the girls with tales of the boogie man and all the bad people that will hurt children, but she struggles for a way to impress upon them both the seriousness of the situation.

“Maman I couldn’t get lost.”

“Azizam I know you’re very smart but this is a big place.”  Sameen shakes her head.  “No maman.  I know your phone number.  I knew I could tell one of the men to call you.”  She points to one of the many employees manning the rides.  It’s true. Sameen knows all their phone numbers and their address.  But what she did was still very dangerous.

"How did you know where to find Root azizam?"

Sameen shrugs her shoulders.  "I just knew."

Mah sighs, words escape her, and she can’t stop touching the girls to make sure they’re really there and safe.  She looks at Abbas helplessly.  How do they explain to Root they will never leave her or forget her?  Her mother’s been leaving and forgetting her for as long as she can remember.  Even Mah’s training in child psychology didn’t prepare her for this situation.  Sure, she knows how to help kids in the aftermath of a trauma, but those problems will come later.  What can she say to Root right now?  Root’s not going to start trusting them this minute, it will take time.  So she tries to explain simply.

“Nāzi you are part of our family.  In our family no one will forget you or leave you or hurt you.  We love you.”  Mah and Abbas hug them both close.  The next part’s going to be scarier for the adults than the girls.  If they just go home this will become an even bigger trauma in both of the girls’ minds.  “Do you want to stay in the park Root?  Sameen?  We can go back to the hotel too.  What do you think you would like better?”

Root looks to Sameen for the answer.  Sameen pulls out Bear from her pocket.  Root had given him to her to hold since the costume she’s wearing doesn’t have pockets.  Root clutches him close and Sameen whispers in her ear.  Even though they’re close, the adults can’t make out what Sameen is saying.  It’s brief, no more than a few words, but Root takes a deep breath and decides.  “I want to ride the horses.”  Mah lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Root wants to ride the carousel.  Mah will never cease to be humbled by the resiliency of children.  She smiles.  “Well then let’s go.”  Abbas brings the stroller and the girls jump in almost relieved it seems.  Mah and Abbas do a good job of hiding their anxiety and by the end of the day Root’s laughing and talking to Sameen.  Mah notices Sameen pays a lot more attention to Root for the rest of the afternoon and talks to her frequently. She's also patient with the death grip Root maintains on her hand for the rest of the day.

They climb the Swiss Family Tree House, explore Tom Sawyer’s Island, see the Nemo show, and ride Pirates of the Caribbean, where Root basically tells Sameen to watch how the pirates use their swords so she can learn.  All the activities have one thing in common; they don't have to separate.  Mah’s sure the girls don’t catch on, but she's not willing to let them out of her sight for even a moment. 

 

* * *

 

By the time they get back to the resort, Mah’s nerves are fried.  The girls decide they want to take a bubble bath and Abbas helps them run a bath since the faucet doesn’t have a temperature control like they have at home.  He squirts some gel under the pouring water until the bubbles start to overflow.  They get in together and Mah can hear Root laughing and the sounds of a splash flight.  It’s probably going to be a mess, but that’s why there’s housekeeping service.  Abbas orders pizza and they stay in the room.  The girls decide they want to watch the Princess and the Frog; well Root wants to watch it, but Sameen doesn’t complain.  Twenty minutes in they’re both asleep and Abbas carries them to their bed.

When he’s done Mah looks at him and starts to cry quietly, the day’s events catching up with her.  Abbas holds her.  “They’re here and they’re safe.  Tomorrow we’ll talk to them and explain what went wrong and what they should’ve done differently.  We’ll make sure Root understands.  Sameen, I’m sure, will be keeping a closer eye on her best friend.”  Mah smiles.  Even at her age Sameen knows how to react in crises.  Although Sameen scared her to death, objectively she recognizes Sameen kept a clear head and understood what needed to be done, and then she did it.  She even had a contingency plan.

Abbas takes a shower after Mah and they hold each other under the covers.  “I was terrified today Mah.  I should never have left the bathroom area.” He pauses and exhales slowly.  “You know she’s ours now right?”  He’s right.  Root’s theirs.            


	12. Typhoon Lagoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a little faster than Mah remembered which makes for a thrilling ride for the girls and a white-knuckle grip kind of trip for Mah.

For once Mah and Abbas are awake before the girls.  Yesterday must have really exhausted them.  “Abbas, I don’t think we should make it a point to have a conversation with the girls about yesterday.  I think we should integrate the conversation as relevant situations arise.”

Abbas thinks for a moment.  “I agree.  Root might construe it as bad behavior on her part and wonder when we’re going to punish her.  I know in her mind she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop even if she can’t articulate exactly that way.  Did you ever get the tickets for Typhoon Lagoon?”

“No, I wanted to have some flexibility for the girls.  But I think it’s a great idea Abbas.  We’ll see if the girls are interested.  They have what they call beachcomber shacks.  They’re like cabanas.  It’ll give us a little more space.”

They order room service and read the paper while they wait for the girls to wake up.  They can see the girls from the couch, but aren’t paying attention until they hear a shout.  “Sameen!”  They look over and Sameen’s sitting on Root’s stomach and the covers are on the floor.  Before Mah can say anything Sameen hops off with a self-satisfied grin.  Root starts laughing.

Mah clears her throat and Sameen looks at her guiltily.  “Maman she’s always waking me up!”  Mah tries to hide her smile while Abbas scolds her gently.  “It’s okay to play Sameen but you have to be more careful, you could have hurt Root.”  Sameen’s next comment is sullen.  “But bâbâ I was careful; she didn’t even wake up until I wiggled around.”  Abbas can tell from Sameen’s face she realizes her comment didn’t further her cause.

“It’s okay maman, Sameen won’t hurt me.”

Mah and Abbas look at each other knowingly.  Neither one will ever tell on the other.  They seem to resolve any disagreements between themselves.  The girls agree they want to go to the water park so they head over after getting them some breakfast.

 

* * *

 

They manage to get one of the shacks and Mah sets them up so they can come and go comfortably without having to worry about their stuff.

They start out at the bay slides, which are specifically geared for toddlers.  It’s like being in a Flintstones episode, faux rocks and all.  The slides are pint size and Root giggles as she zips down to the wading pool.  Abbas waits in the pool while Mah stands at the top of the slide helping the girls.  “I can do it maman,” Sameen sighs.  Mah decides she’s just hovering under the lingering scare of the events of yesterday.  So she joins Abbas in the wading pool.  The slide is short so they can watch the girls all the way down and as they take the path back up.

Sameen decides to slide down backwards and Root watches her carefully from above.  She hesitates but then slides down the regular way.  She does manage to convince Sameen to slide down together once.  By the time they reach the bottom Root’s a little behind Sameen and they tumble into the pool on top of each other.  Root can’t stop laughing while Sameen scrunches her face in disapproval.

They go to castaway creek next and grab some inner tubes, drifting aimlessly along, soaking up the sun, enjoying refreshing cool mists and thundering waterfalls.  Root’s fascinated by the overhead rope bridges and the cavernous tunnel.  Sameen slips off her inner tube ‘accidentally on purpose’ and swims along next to them for awhile.  The ‘creek’ is shallow so Sameen can stand if she wants and the current pushing the tubes along is gentle.  “Maman I want to go to the big slide.”

“Azizam you’re not tall enough.  We’ll have to wait for next time.”  Sameen looks at Root accusingly like it’s her fault she’s taller.  “Nāzi’s not tall enough either Sameen.  But we can go to the adventure falls. We can all ride together in the same raft and it’s very long and pretty fast.”

Sameen seems appeased and Root a little apprehensive.  Mah and Abbas seat the girls between their legs for extra security and even Sameen doesn’t protest.  It’s a little faster than Mah remembered which makes for a thrilling ride for the girls and a white-knuckle grip kind of trip for Mah.  Root leans back against Mah’s chest and tilts her head up to the sun, closing her eyes and Mah’s heart clenches. 

Root is such an amazing little girl.  There’s gentleness to everything she does, innocence by all rights she shouldn’t have.  It makes Mah furious to know all the pain she’s suffered.  But she shakes those thoughts loose.  They’re all happy and having a great time, no need to mar the memory with morose musings.  The ride ends too soon for Sameen, but the rest of them are happy when they land gently in the pool at the end.

The adults collapse on the lounge chairs when they get back to their shack, but Root and Sameen immediately start exploring the sandy area around them.  Mah orders lunch for them and the girls reluctantly stop their search to eat.  Sameen’s ecstatic when Mah hands her a donut for desert and she sits down on the sand to eat it with both hands.  Mah cringes a little when the icing gets all over Sameen’s hands and face, but fortunately she has plenty of wipes.  

“Nāzi do you want a donut like Sameen or apples?”  Root looks uncertain.  She wants to try the donut before she decides.  She whispers in Sameen’s ear.  Sameen looks at her blankly but slowly tears a small piece of her donut off and hands it to Root.  Root grabs it carefully so as not to get icing on her fingers.  It’s good but not as good as her apples.  “Maman I want the apples.”  Mah smiles and hands her a small bag of precut apples.  She thought as much.  She’s beginning to learn Root’s tastes and she doesn’t like things that are too sweet. 

Mah tells the girls they have to rest a little while because nap is a dirty word to Sameen.  They’re both asleep in minutes.   The attendant shows up with two drinks and Mah looks at Abbas.  “I ordered two pina coladas.  I think we deserve it.”  Mah nods and takes a long sip.  It’s refreshing and slides down smoothly.  She leans back on her lounger chair and closes her eyes, relaxed and happy.  There’s no place on earth she’d rather be.


	13. God Isn't Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, it’s a complicated and messy situation and we probably won’t be able to keep them both from getting hurt in some way, but we discussed this and decided we’re in it for the long haul. We’re all involved as a family now.”

Thanksgiving morning dawns cool and sunny just as expected from a Florida winter.  The family heads to Epcot for a leisurely day followed by a casual Thanksgiving lunch at the American pavilion.  There’s no sit down restaurant, but Mah and Abbas decide it will be perfect for the girls.  They’re not exactly fond of sitting in restaurants yet although they’re very well behaved.  Mah believes holidays should be fun, not torture, and Abbas is happy when his family’s happy.

This time Sameen doesn’t make a fuss about the stroller although Mah sees her having a solemn conversation with Root.  As they start their stroll into the park Abbas is smiling.  “Would you like to know what Sameen told Root just now?” he asks Mah mischievously.  She smiles knowingly and quirks her eyebrows in an expression reminiscent of Sameen.  “She told Root to stay next to her all the time and if she gets lost to just stay right where she is and Sameen will find her.”  Mah chuckles quietly.  “We have an amazing daughter Abbas.”  Abbas smiles proudly in agreement.

The pace at Epcot is not nearly as hectic as the Magic Kingdom and the family makes their way towards the American pavilion slowly, stopping to experience the attractions the girls may like.  Root falls in love with Figment and Abbas gets her a small rubber one to remember her trip.  Sameen only likes interactive toys and she hasn’t found anything she wants yet, so Abbas tells her to just let him know when she sees something.

“Bâbâ, I’m hungry,” Sameen complains.  “Okay azizam, we’ll be there soon.”  Mah sees Root hand Sameen a chocolate from the room and shakes her head.  She wonders if Root was saving it for Sameen or brought it for herself, but Mah suspects the former.  Root doesn’t seem to like sweets much, even chocolate. 

They arrive at the Liberty Inn and Sameen and Root confer on their lunch choices.  “Maman, Root wants the mac and cheese and I want the cheeseburger with fries _not_ apples,” she makes a point of specifying.  Root confirms their order and Mah goes to find a table with the girls while Abbas gets their food. 

Mah wonders the extent of Root’s knowledge regarding Thanksgiving, but she doesn’t want to put her on the spot.  It wouldn’t surprise Mah if Root’s never celebrated the holiday.  “Sameen, do you remember why we celebrate Thanksgiving?”  Last year Sameen was still a little young, but Mah knows they also covered it in school before the break.  Sameen frowns.

Surprisingly, Root answers for her, “We’re supposed to thank god for everything.  But it’s pretend.”  Mah and Abbas look at each other, neither sure whether to ask what Root means.  But Sameen preempts them.  “Why pretend?”  Root looks down and answers softly.  “There is no god.”  Mah never swears but inside she’s thinking, ‘fuck, fuck, fuck!’  How do I handle this one? 

She knows Abbas is looking at her to handle the situation since she’s the one with the degree in child psychology, but it’s never easy to deal with these issues and on the fly is even harder.  Besides, she and Abbas are mostly agnostic, if not right down atheistic, when it comes to the subject of any kind of god.  Plus for Root to think there’s no god, she must have some concept of what people mean when they refer to god.

She waits for Root to look up and smiles gently at her when she sees the fearful look on Root’s face.  How do you tell a kid with the life Root’s had she should be thankful for the good things?  “The important part of the holiday Root is just to remind us of the good things in our life, even the small ones.  No one really knows if god exists, some people believe and some people don’t.  There’s no right or wrong answer.  Do you understand nāzi?”  Root looks relieved and nods her head.

“Sameen what are you thankful for this year?”  Sameen scrunches her forehead.  “Bunk beds.”  They all laugh.  Mah suspects Sameen’s thankful for the reason why they need the bunk beds and this is her way of saying it.  “Well I’m thankful for this wonderful vacation we get to spend together,” Mah adds.  “What about you Abbas?”  He looks at them thoughtfully.  “Everything.  Even some of the bad stuff, because sometimes we need to get through the bad stuff so we can find the good stuff.”  Root’s been listening carefully to all of them, but looks seriously at Abbas like she’s found meaning in his words.  “Sam.”  Mah looks at her lovingly, and Sameen actually stops eating to look at her friend; she gives her a tiny smile.

On their way out of the park, they pass one of the stores and something in the window attracts Sameen’s attention.  It’s a pencil sketch of Figment, but instead of the more common cartoony representation, he’s drawn more realistically like a dragon.  “Bâbâ, can we get this for our room at home?”  Abbas was thinking of something a little less expensive as Sameen’s gift, but he finds it hard to refuse his daughter, since she rarely asks for anything.  “Okay Sameen, but I’ll have it delivered to our hotel so we don’t have to carry it around okay?”  Sameen nods and sits back contentedly in the stroller.  Root smiles because Sameen called it ‘our’ room and she feels so happy inside it’s like she’s going to blow up.  She’s never felt like this before.

The rest of their vacation flies by and soon it’s Sunday and they’re back home, happy but tired.  Abbas is helping Mah with laundry and the girls are playing in the backyard.  The doorbell rings and Mah answers it, surprised to find Arthur Claypool at the door.  He looks like the bearer of bad news.  “Hi Mah, sorry to drop in unannounced, but I wanted to talk to you and Abbas personally.”

 

* * *

 

Mah checks on the girls and takes them a snack.  She doesn’t want them coming in and overhearing the adults’ conversation.  In the living room, Arthur explains.  “Ms. Groves returned to rehab yesterday.  She wants to see her daughter.”  Mah looks at Abbas worriedly.  “She’s not allowed visitors the first week, but she wants to see her on Root’s birthday.  If I thought she was capable of complicated scheming, I’d say she timed it purposefully.  It’s the first day she’s allowed visitors.”

Abbas knows just as much about the legal process regarding juvenile proceedings as most lawyers.  “Technically we can refuse visitation since the court ordered Groves must complete rehab before reunification is even considered.”  Mah stills him with her hand, while she looks at Arthur.  “What do you think would be best for Root?”

Arthur sighs deeply and looks away.  “I don’t know.  Ideally, reunification is considered the optimal outcome and to that end, maintaining contact between parents and their children is preferred.  But I’ve been doing this a long time.  As I cautioned from the beginning, I don’t think Groves is the type of parent that can be rehabilitated whether she’s clean or not. 

Successful parents are usually those overwhelmed by problems or addictions, but with an abiding love for their children.  So we find them jobs, get them housing and/or rehab, and provide financial assistance until they’re stable.  Once they see there’s hope, they can focus on improving their parenting skills.  They _want_ to improve their parenting skills and reintegrating with their children motivates them to succeed.  But some parents simply don’t love their children.”

Mah shakes her head in agreement and some resignation.  “Groves is a narcissist.  She’ll never see Root as anything but an extension of herself.  Even if the physical abuse stops, she’ll continue to scar Root emotionally.  It’s already amazing Root still has the ability to bond with anyone considering the extent of the neglect she’s endured.” 

But Abbas knows if they intend to help Root long-term, either by reunification or termination of parental rights, they need to take certain steps.  “The court won’t just accept our opinions, even Arthur’s, when it considers the termination of parental rights.  As painful and counterintuitive as it may be, we need to find a child counselor to work with Root and Groves with the goal of remedying the abuse.  If, as we suspect, Groves proves incapable of reforming, we’ll have an independent and unbiased professional documenting the abuse and making recommendations to the court.”

“But Abbas it still leaves the issue of allowing visitation with Root on her birthday.  We can’t get all this set up in any meaningful way in a week.  Plus it puts an unfair burden on Root.  She’s only six years old.  She can’t decide whether she wants to see her mother or not.  We need to decide what’s best for her.” 

Abbas can see Mah has something specific in mind and the truth is he trusts Mah implicitly with everything, but especially when it comes to their children.  Abbas sighs internally, knowing he and Mah already consider Root their child.  “What are you suggesting Mah?”

“I’m going to go see Groves and talk to her as well as the staff at the facility.  I want a sense of why she wants to see Root and what she hopes to accomplish.  If we decide to allow the visit it will be short and casual and supervised by me.  We’ll go as a family, so if Root needs Sameen or us before or after, we’ll be there.”

As always Abbas advises caution.  “Maybe involving Sameen isn’t a good idea Mah.”  Abbas deals with these types of issues every day, but he’s rarely directly involved with the children.  He relies on the social workers and other professionals to paint the picture.  So sometimes he overlooks the obvious.

“Abbas, assuming we decide to go, we’ll need to tell Root ahead of time we’re going to see her mother.  We can’t just drop her into it without warning.  Do you really think she won’t tell Sameen?  Once she knows, you think Sameen won’t want to be with her friend?  You’ve seen the two of them.  They’re inseparable, especially when Root is hurting. 

Yes, it’s a complicated and messy situation and we probably won’t be able to keep them both from getting hurt in some way, but we discussed this and decided we’re in it for the long haul.  We’re all involved as a family now.”

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s sitting at her desk drawing when she hears Ms. Simmons call Root’s name.  “Samantha, what are you doing?”  Sameen looks behind her where Root’s at the learning pad in the back of the room.  They’re waiting for class to start and Sameen doesn’t see anything wrong.  They’re allowed to play in the morning with all the toys in the classroom.  She sees the teacher make a beeline for Root and puts her pencil down and stands up.

Root’s extremely sensitive and she’s looking scared at the way Ms. Simmons called her name.  By the time Simmons reaches Root, Sameen’s already standing next to her.  “I’m just playing music,” Root explains softly.  “But how?” Simmons wants to know.  “There’s no music on the tablet.  What did you do?”  Simmons’ tone is a little accusatory and Root gets the idea she’s done something wrong.  She looks at Sameen helplessly.

Sameen looks at Simmons with a relatively intimidating stare for a five-year-old.  “She knows how to do things on computers.  She didn’t break it.”  Ever since her meeting with Mah and Abbas, Simmons’ has been a bit leery of reprimanding Sameen.  She’s a well-behaved child even if Simmons feels she’s not a “normal” kid.  “Sameen, I’m not talking to you, please let Samantha answer for herself.” 

Root reaches for Sameen’s hand and Sameen takes it, holding it firmly in her own.  Feeling a little braver, Root looks at Ms. Simmons.  “I connected it to Radio for Kids.  It’s a station maman lets us listen to in the car.”  Simmons assumes Root’s referring to her mother, not knowing the situation.  “That may be true Samantha but you’re not allowed to put whatever you want on the computer.”

“I didn’t know.  I’m sorry.”  Root’s looking at her feet again and Sameen starts to feel angry.  Ms. Simmons is making Root feel bad.  “If you do it again, I will have to punish you.”  Tears start falling down Root’s face and Sameen feels her face turn red.  “No!  You can’t punish her.”  Ms. Simmons is hardly an enlightened teacher; she’s more an old-school ‘spare the rod-spoil the child’ type, so punishment to her is an appropriate response to a child doing something wrong, even if unknowingly.  But of course, she’s referring to a time-out, not being aware the word punishment to Root means something very different.

But now all the children are listening and Root’s crying and Sameen’s standing protectively next to her.  “Ms. Shaw, this does not concern you.  Please sit at your desk.”  But Sameen won’t move and won’t let go of Root’s hand.  Root’s tucked herself into Sameen’s shoulder and is gripping Sameen’s shirt with her free hand.  Simmons’ frustration is evident on her face.  She starts to reach her hand out to physically separate them, but Sameen pushes Root behind her and blocks Simmons.  “No.  I want to call my mother.”  Simmons takes a deep breath. 

She’s been dealing with spoiled children her entire career and she’d like to take them both over her knee for a spanking, but they’re not allowed to do that sort of thing anymore.  In Simmons’ mind it’s led to a weakening of the moral fiber of society as a whole.  But luckily no one really cares what she thinks.  At that moment, Monique, the teacher’s aide, walks into the classroom.  Monique’s earning her degree in early childhood education and was placed in this classroom by the principal specifically to counter Simmons’ somewhat authoritarian style.

Monique met Mah at the open house and relates particularly well to Sameen, going out of her way to try to keep Sameen challenged.  Ever since Root joined their class, Monique’s observed her relationship with Sameen and realized immediately she’s also gifted albeit in different areas from Sameen.  She takes in the situation at a glance and rushes to the children.

“Ms. Simmons, I’ll get the girls straightened out while you get the class started.”  She smiles at Simmons’ endearingly, but at the same time her tone says it’s not a question.  Simmons isn’t a fool and she knows she’s on thin ice with the principal due to an incident with a student last year.  She nods sharply and turns to the rest of the class.  “Okay children take your seats.” 

Monique fills a cup with water and kneels in front of Root.  Her tone is soft and soothing.  “Here Root, drink a little water.  It’s okay.  Can you tell me what happened?”  But Root’s hiccupping and still hiding her head in Sameen’s shoulder.  “Sameen do you know what happened?” 

“She put the radio on the tablet.”  Monique sighs knowingly.  She’s seen a little of what Root can do with computers.  “I see.”  Monique can only imagine Simmons’ reaction to a situation she’s incapable of understanding.  “Root, whatever Ms. Simmons said, she just doesn’t understand.  You didn’t do anything wrong sweetheart.”  She runs her hand soothingly down Root’s back until Root slowly calms down and raises her head to look at Monique.  “She said she was going to punish me.  But I didn’t know it was wrong.”

“You need to call my mother,” Sameen insists.  “Why Sameen? Does your mother know Root’s mom?”

“Yes.  Root’s staying with us.  Please call her.  I know the number.”  Monique’s not sure what’s going on but if Root’s staying with Sameen’s family then calling Mah is a must.  If they don’t call her she’ll be furious when the kids get home and tell her what happened.  “Okay, let’s go call her from the office.”  Monique ushers the girls out without bothering to explain to Simmons. 

Ten minutes later Mah arrives at the school and finds the girls in Ms. Rodgers’ office.  The principal’s been talking to the girls and letting them know everything’s okay.  Root’s calm but still holding on to Sameen and Sameen just looks…shut down.  Mah hugs them and kisses them both, although Sameen pulls away after a second.  “Girls I’m just going to talk to Ms. Rodgers and then we’ll go home.  Nāzi, everything’s okay.  Don’t worry.”

Monique joins Mah and the principal in the hallway.  “I’m not exactly sure what happened because Root was too upset to explain, but Sameen says Root put the radio on the tablet and Ms. Simmons told Root she couldn’t put whatever she wanted and next time she would be punished.”  Mah sighs and puts a hand on Monique’s arm to stop her talking.  “Root’s mother has been physically abusing Root.  To Root, even the word punishment is terrifying. To her it means someone’s going to hurt her physically.

In this day and age why are teachers still even using that term anyway?” Mah asks fiercely.  As Mah glances up she sees Simmons’ walking towards them.  Ms. Rodgers walks quickly in order to intercept her before she reaches them.  Whatever Rodgers says to Simmons makes her turn right back around.  Mah scowls after her, but she’s not important right now.

“Thank you for your help Monique.  Ms. Rodgers, I understand no one was aware of Root’s situation, but even so, Ms. Simmons’ not exactly an innovative thinker for a teacher.  I’m going home with the girls and try to help them both through the trauma of today, but someone needs to talk to Simmons about this situation.  Trust me when I say, you don’t want it to be me.”

“Of course Ms. Monir.  I will talk to Ms. Simmons and now that we’re aware, we’ll make sure to be cognizant of Root’s needs.  Monique’s very good with the children.  She’ll look out for Root to avoid any further incidents.”

Mah looks doubtful.  “From now on I want to be called immediately the minute anything out of the ordinary happens.  I won’t have Root further traumatized or Sameen upset.  She’s gotten very close to Root and as you already know, she processes emotions differently than other children.”  Ms. Rodgers nods understandingly and Monique squeezes Mah’s arm in reassurance.

Mah takes the girls home and makes them all hot chocolate.  She snuggles on the couch with them and asks them to explain.  Both girls have excellent memories so Mah gets a practical word for word account.  “Girls, I’m sorry this happened.  First, nāzi you did nothing wrong.  Not even a little bit.  Some people just don’t understand when you can do things they can’t do.  Second, Azizam I am very proud of you for protecting Root.  It’s important you look out for each other.  You were also very smart in making sure they called me.”

Sameen looks at Mah with a ‘don’t tell me, tell her’ look.  Mah smiles at them both lovingly.  “Now, Root I need to explain something.  When other people use the word punishment, they don’t mean what your mother means when she says it.  No one is ever going to touch you.  Ms. Simmons meant like a time-out or you wouldn’t be able to play on the tablet for a day.  But she was wrong anyway, because you didn’t do anything wrong.

Also, just so you know, no one has permission to hurt you even if you did do something wrong.  You tell me or Abbas or Sameen if anyone hurts you.  We’ll protect you, okay?  I already talked to Monique and Ms. Rodgers and they’re going to talk to Ms. Simmons.  If anything happens at school you tell Monique and she’ll call me.  But nothing else is going to happen.  It was just a bad day.  Tomorrow will be better.

Now, anyone want to watch a movie?”


	14. Root Takes A Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can Sam come?” Mah takes Root’s other hand. “Of course nāzi; we’re all going. We’re a family.”

Root stalls a little in getting ready for school.  Mah can’t blame her, she’s a little apprehensive herself.  But she’s reassured knowing Monique will be there to make sure yesterday’s incident doesn’t escalate with whatever reaction Simmons may have to being called on the carpet about her behavior.  Sameen holds Root’s hand all the way to school.

When the girls enter the classroom Monique is already there.  She notices Root goes directly to her desk and sits down, waiting for class to start.  As she heads over to reassure Samantha she notices Sameen’s brought out a paper and the girls start to play tic-tac-toe.  She smiles and decides to wait until the afternoon to implement her idea.

The morning goes smoothly and by lunch time Root’s feeling less anxious.  She’s sitting with Sam under their usual tree when Sameen sees Alec heading towards them.  Sameen’s never liked him although he’s never bothered her.  But she’s seen how he treats other kids and she knows enough to understand he’s a bully.

“Sameen, do you think I should take computer classes?”  Root’s been thinking about the man Mah and Abbas brought to the house to maybe teach Root more about computers.  After yesterday, she’s been thinking maybe she could do computer stuff at home instead.  “Yes.”  Sameen doesn’t elaborate, but its good enough for Root.  “Okay, I’m going to tell maman.”

Alex arrives and Root smiles at him. “Hi.”  Sameen stares at him and scrunches her forehead, a frown on her face.  “Why were you crying yesterday?”  Root stops smiling and ignores him.  “Are you a crybaby?”  Ever since the incident on Halloween, Sameen’s been teaching Root how to deal with mean kids.  Root may still be intimidated by adults, but kids her own age are a different story.  Besides, with Sameen next to her, she knows nothing will happen to her.

So she takes Sameen’s advice.  She stands up and towers over Alec.  She’s the tallest kid in the class and Alec’s particularly short, even considering boys develop slower than girls.  “Go away and leave me alone.”  She also gives him her meanest look like Sameen said.  But Root’s an inherently sweet girl, so it falls a little flat.  She looks crazier than mean. 

Sameen’s still sitting under the tree, observing but letting Root handle herself.  But then she sees Tommy’s spotted Alec and is coming to join him.  So she stands up and glares at him.  Tommy tried to pick on Sameen once and she twisted his fingers hard.  He changes course to the swings instead.  Sameen continues to ignore Alec and Root but doesn’t sit back down.

“Why, are you going to cry?”  Root laughs; another thing Sameen said was never let them see you’re scared or upset.  Alec obviously has no clue what to make of Root’s reaction.  But before he can say anything else, the bell rings and the teachers start gathering the children to bring them inside.  Sameen picks up their lunch boxes.  “Come on Root.” 

Once they’re back at their desks, Sameen gives Root a small smile.  “Your laugh is cool.”  Root grins widely.  Compliments from Sameen are rare and it makes her proud she defended herself. 

 

* * *

 

Arthur gave Mah a list of child counselors and she sits down to call them.  She wants to get a sense of which one may be a good fit for Root and the family.  She immediately discounts the men.  Whether right or wrong, she doesn’t think men can understand the importance and full scope of the nature of a daughter’s relationship with her mother.

She’s impressed most of them call her back at some point during the afternoon.  Mah has a list of prepared questions to ask.  How would you typically work with this type of problem?  How involved are parents in therapy?  How do we begin?  I think Samantha will be nervous about coming to see you; what should I say? 

The phone rings again and Mah glances at the clock.  She doesn’t have more than a few minutes before she needs to leave to pick up the girls.  She wants to be early, both to reassure Root and to talk with Ms. Rodgers briefly about what Simmons was told.  But she doesn’t want to miss an opportunity to speak with another therapist. 

> “Hello.”
> 
> “Hello, may I speak with Ms. Monir please?”
> 
> “This is she.”
> 
> “Hi, my name is Anwen Eades; you called my office earlier today about your daughter Samantha.  How can I help you?”  Mah likes her immediately; her voice is warm and confident.  She thinks she detects a slight British accent, but she’s terrible with identifying nationality from voices, so she could be completely off.
> 
> “Yes, Ms. Eades, thank you for calling me back.”
> 
> “Please, call me Anwen.”
> 
> “It’s a complicated situation Anwen, but briefly, my family is fostering Samantha.  She’s almost 6 years old and has been physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by her mother, who has an addiction problem as well.  The court removed Samantha from her home.  My immediate concern is her mother has requested to see Samantha for the first time in months on the day of Samantha’s birthday.  My husband and I are trying to make a decision as to whether to allow the visitation and/or tell Samantha about her mother’s request.”
> 
> “I understand.  In order to help you though, I need to meet with your family and Samantha.” **  
> **
> 
> “Of course.  The other problem is time.  Samantha’s birthday is Monday.” 

Mah hears the sound of turning pages.  

> “I have an opening tomorrow at 4pm if that works.  It’s my last appointment of the day, so I’ll have time to be able to talk to your family in a comprehensive way.  We may be able to get an idea of what may be best for Samantha. 
> 
> However, I’d like to meet with you and your husband earlier in the day.  It will give me a chance to ask a lot of questions to get to know your family and understand the problems we may be facing. It will also give you a chance to evaluate and decide if I’m the right psychologist for Samantha and your family.  Does 1pm work?”
> 
> “Yes, of course.  Abbas and I will see you then.  I appreciate you fitting us in on such short notice.”
> 
> “It’s not a problem at all.  I’ll see you tomorrow at 1pm.”

 

* * *

 

Ms. Rodgers makes time to see Mah before school lets out.  “I spoke with Ms. Simmons at length yesterday Ms. Monir.  She understands and is sympathetic to Samantha’s situation.  She’s not a bad person; she’s just of a different mindset than current educational theory.  I’m sure she’ll be able to treat Samantha appropriately now that she knows the history.  But if you have any further problems, please come to see me right away.” 

Mah’s not sure Simmons can rise to the occasion, but the trauma of moving the children to a different classroom is not optimal either.  Root’s already changed schools this year.  Not to mention they’d both have to be moved as Mah’s sure neither girl will agree to be separated.

“Ms. Monir, how do you feel about having Samantha see our school counselor?”

“No,” Mah says firmly.  “I’m sure he’s good at his job, but he has literally hundreds of students to work with.  I’m not comfortable with the ad-hoc nature of any relationship he may be able to form with Root.  In fact, we have an appointment tomorrow with a child psychologist and hopefully she’ll be able to help our family.  But I do appreciate your concern.”

“Of course.  Please let me know if I can help in any way.  I want to see both Samantha and Sameen happy and successful.”

 

* * *

 

“Maman, I helped Monique put Radio for Kids on the tablet and now everyone can listen if they want!”  Root’s excited and Mah’s relieved.  Monique’s definitely getting a good holiday gift this year.  “That’s excellent nāzi.”  Root’s grinning widely and she’s not done telling Mah about her day. 

“Alec was mean to me today at lunch.  He called me a crybaby, but I told him to go away.”  Root doesn’t sound upset and Mah glances briefly at Sameen.  But Sameen’s focused on kicking a rock like it’s a soccer ball and not paying attention.  “So did he go away?”  Root nods vigorously.  “I laughed at him and then we left.”  Mah has no doubt Sameen has something to do with Root’s assertive behavior and although she doesn’t want anyone bullying her kids, it obviously boosted Root’s confidence to be able to defend herself.

"Oh, and maman, I want to learn more about computers with Mr. Hrnbll."

"That's wonderful nāzi.  I'll call him and see when we can start.  Just remember if you don't like him or you change your mind, you let us know.  Okay?  We just want you to have fun."  Root nods happily.

Mah tells Root about seeing Anwen tomorrow.  “Why do I have to see a sichology?” Root asks astutely, even if she can’t get the whole word out.  Mah considers what to say, but ultimately she believes you should only tell children what they need to know, but never lie.  Since Root’s asking, Mah tries to explain simply.  “She’s going to help us understand why your mom isn’t nice to you.”  Root shuts down and grabs Sameen’s hand.  “Can Sam come?”  Mah takes Root’s other hand.  “Of course nāzi; we’re all going.  We’re a family.”


	15. The Narcissist or Ms. Grove's A Waste of Space

Mah and Abbas meet with Anwen and explain the situation.  “Unfortunately, without meeting Ms. Groves, I tend to agree Arthur’s right.  The extent of Samantha’s physical abuse tells me her mother’s probably not someone who can be rehabilitated.  Neglect is one thing, but the ability to hurt a child physically to such an extreme, tells me there’s something missing emotionally between mother and child and more than likely within Ms. Groves herself.

However, we still need to help Samantha come to terms with her mother’s indifference and abuse.  I’ll talk to her this afternoon and see how she feels.  As I’m sure you both know, children love even abusive parents because they blame themselves for any punishment they receive.  If, as I suspect, Ms. Groves is incapable of being a good and loving parent, Root needs to understand and believe it’s not her fault.

Being part of your family is the first step.  After I meet with Samantha this afternoon, I’ll try to meet with her mother before Monday so I can have a more comprehensive picture of the situation.  We’ll talk Sunday and then you can decide whether to allow Samantha to meet with her mother.”

So far Mah and Abbas are on board with Anwen’s proposed course of action.  “Just one thing Anwen; Samantha prefers to be called Root and we believe it’s important to honor her choice.  I’m not sure why she’s chosen the name, but my daughter Sameen insists we use it.  The two girls have grown inseparable and Sameen will be here with us this afternoon.  Just so you know, if Root asks to have her present and you think its okay, we have no objection so long as Sameen agrees.”

Anwen smiles.  She wishes all parents were as determined to do what's right for their children.  Too often she has to first work through the parents’ ego to be able to help the child.  “I’m glad you told me.  I agree; using Root’s preferred identity can only help improve her confidence and self-worth.”

 

* * *

 

“I’m heading to the facility Abbas.  I’ll meet you back here at 4pm with the girls.”

“Okay.  Just…try to stay out of trouble, okay?

Mah smiles innocently, which only worries Abbas more.  He loves his wife, but there isn’t an innocent bone in her body.

 

* * *

 

The doors open with a click as the receptionist swipes her access card over a reader.  “Ms. Garcia’s office is the first door on your left.” 

“Thank you.”  Mah walks down the hallway, the greenish hue and buzzing fluorescent lights making her wish she'd never seen One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.  The  surreal feeling as her footsteps echo on the tile floor forces her to remember she's in a drug rehabilitation facility not a psychiatric ward. 

She reaches the door and there’s a plastic name plate on the wall, Maria Garcia.  She knocks softly and hears a muttered “come in.”  Ms. Garcia's desk is overflowing with files and Mah can barely see her beyond the tower.  “Good afternoon Ms. Monir, I’m Maria Garcia, Ms. Groves’s family counselor.  Please, have a seat.”  

Mah makes room on the couch, trying to avoid the duct tape.  “Thank you for seeing me Ms. Garcia,”…

“Please, call me Maria.”  Mah smiles warmly.  Maria's body has a lean look to it — as if she works too long, and eats too little or too poorly.  Mah takes a deep breath and makes an effort to straighten her furrowed eyebrows. 

“I understand you’re here to talk about Ms. Groves.  I hope you know I can’t divulge any patient-therapist communications…”

Mah interrupts as she’s shaking her head.  “I’m not interested in what she may or may not have said in group or individual therapy.  Let me explain.  My husband and I are fostering her daughter, Samantha.  Ms. Groves has requested to see her on Samantha’s birthday, which is Monday.  I’d appreciate any impressions or opinions you may have formed without revealing any specifics.  We’re simply trying to figure out what’s best for Samantha.”

“Ms. Monir, I've been in the field 20 years. I'm a child of the '70s that believed abuse was not caused by human failings or psychopathology or evil or bad people, but rather people in unfortunate circumstances and with the proper help brought to bear, you could, without removing children from the home permanently, rehabilitate people. It's a nice ideology, but unfortunately my experience has taught me differently.  So, _hypothetically_ , in my opinion, a mother who abuses her daughter by cutting her with a razor blade and burning her with an iron since she was a small child is, in the best-case scenario, a narcissist, and in the worst case scenario a psychopath or sadist or both.  Trying to reform narcissists by reasoning with them or by appealing to their better nature is about as effective as spitting in the ocean.  The sad reality is that you can’t change a narcissist **.**  They don’t have the self-awareness or humility to see that they’re out of control and need help. _They’re incapable of introspection_ **.** Add to that a substance abuse problem and you have an intractable Gordian knot or a perfect storm if you prefer.  Needless to say, a psychopath or sadist should never be in charge of rearing a child.  So, again, hypothetically speaking, the daughter of such a mother will never be safe.”

Mah expected an unfavorable opinion of Groves, but Maria’s stark portrayal takes her aback.  So, obviously Samantha should not ever again be in Groves’ custody, but it still doesn’t help with the decision as to whether Samantha should be allowed to visit with her.  “I appreciate your candor Maria.  Hypothetically that is.  Would it be possible to speak with Ms. Groves?”

Maria sighs and shakes her head; the look on her face says you’re wasting your time, but she agrees.  “Technically she's not allowed visitors until Monday, but I’ll ask if she wants to speak with you and bring her to the day room if she’s willing.” 

Groves looks better than the last time Mah saw her.  Her eyes, so like Root’s, are lucid, and at least she’s not looking like the poster child for a drug campaign.  She sits in front of Mah and gives her a smug smile hidden under a veneer of politeness.  “Ms. Groves, I don’t know if you remember me…”

“Of course.  You took my daughter.”

Mah looks at her thoughtfully.  Is she really this clueless or is this a manipulation to put Mah on the defensive?  Mah decides she’s not going to play.  “I understand you’ve asked to see Root on her birthday?”

“Is she still using that silly nickname?”  She scoffs.  Mah struggles to hide her disgust.  She’s here for Root and losing her cool won’t help her.  “Can you tell me why you’d like to see her Ms. Groves?  You haven’t called or asked to see her in almost three months.”

“Do I need a reason to want to see _my_ daughter?”

“Yes, if you really want to see Root, you’ll have to explain it to _me_.”  Mah can see the cracks in Groves’ civil facade like an ice-cube meeting hot water.

“This has been very difficult for me.  I’m doing my best, but Samantha’s lies cause us a lot of problems.  I’m sure if I can speak with Samantha we can straighten everything out and she can come home where she belongs.  With _me_.” 

Mah’s lost track of how many of the narcissist’s greatest hits Groves has played in their short conversation.  Self-centered, no remorse, blaming behavior, insensitive, lack of a conscience, rationalization, pathological lying…  “Can you tell me a little more about the lies?”

“Oh I’m sure she’s told you by now that I burned her with the iron, when the truth is I was ironing and she got in the way and knocked the board over.  She’s a very accident-prone child, which is why she has so many scars.  It makes it difficult to keep a job when I constantly need to leave work because she’s sick.”  She smiles ingratiatingly, like ‘oh well what’s one to do.’

“So you want to see Samantha so you can ask her to stop telling lies about you?”

“Well it’s so unfair for me to be here when I really don’t belong here.  My benefits have been suspended and I’ve lost my job because of all this.”

“ _This_?”  Mah asks with incredulity.  “By _this_ you’re referring to Root’s severe undernourishment, the second-degree burn on her chest, and the blade scars on her back?  Not to mention her emotional and mental scars.  Is that what you mean by ‘ _this_ ’?!

Mah sees the moment when Groves realizes her con won’t work.  Gone is the pleasant smile, replaced by a mocking one.  “I will get her back you know, sooner or later.  I always do.  She’s _mine_.”

Mah takes a deep breath to reign in the almost painful desire to break Groves’ neck.  Or at least a few bones.  She could break several bones before Groves could call for help.  But as satisfying as it would be, it won’t help Root and that’s all she cares about.  She gets up without another word and walks towards the door, but before she makes it completely through she hears Groves' grating saccharine-sweet voice.  “Tell Samantha I send her my love.”

Like hell she will.

 

* * *

 

Mah sees Root and Sameen come out of the school building holding hands and she wonders if there was a problem.  “Hello girls, how was school today?”  Root just looks down and Sameen rolls her eyes and sighs.  “Alec pushed Root off the swing at recess.”  Clearly Mah’s going to have to talk to Simmons and Rodgers.  This kid is obviously a bully and now Root’s on his radar.  “I’ll talk to…”  But Root shoots her a pleading look.  “No maman if you tell the teachers then everyone will hate me for being a tatt table.”

Sameen rolls her eyes.  “Tattletale Root, not tatt table.”

“Don’t worry maman, Root and I have a plan.  We’ll fix it.”

Mah supposes she should be happy Sameen didn’t say ‘we’ll fix _him_ ’ but she’s still apprehensive about the ‘plan’ the girls have concocted.  “Sameen you’re not allowed to hit anyone, okay?  You either Root.”  The girls are the picture of innocence and Mah doesn’t know whether to be relieved or worried.  She doesn’t want Root sacrificed like the red-shirted crewman.

“Mah are we still going to the sichology today?”

“Yes, nāzi.  I’ll make you both a snack when we get home and then we’ll meet Abass at the psychologists office.  Don’t worry nāzi, everything will be fine.”

 

* * *

 

Anwen greets the girls warmly and shows them into the play room, where she has games, art supplies, and dolls of all types, not to mention stuffed animals.

She’s going to spend a few minutes discussing Mas’s visit to Groves with the adults. 

Sameen looks at her suspiciously but is distracted by a chemistry set she spots in the older kids section.  If she’s careful, no one will know what she’s up to.  “Sam what are you doing?”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  “I want to play with this set but if maman notices she might not let me play with it.”  Root bites her lip a second, “did she tell you not to play with it?”

“No, she didn’t say anything.  They said we could play with anything we wanted to in here.” 

“Okay, so I’ll sit at this chair and you sit across from me and they won’t be able to see what’s between us because my back will block the window in the door.”  Sameen looks at the door, then the table and its angle to the window.  “Okay, that works.”

“What are you going to do Sam?”

“We’re going to make rockets!”  Root immediately looks worried.  “We’re going to get in trouble Sameen.  I don’t think we should do it.”  Sameen sighs.  “Root, do you like to watch television a lot?”  Root cocks her head pensively.  “Sometimes, but not a lot.”  Sameen nods as if Root just confirmed her hypothesis.  “Okay, the only consequence Mah gives us for misbehaving a little bit is she says we can’t watch television for a day.  So it’s worth it to misbehave a little.  It’s called a wisk reward analysis.  Abbas taught me.

I just have to go to the bathroom."  Sameen returns almost immediately with a couple of packets of alka seltzer.  She empties out four film canisters that were being used to hold rocks and gets a glass of water from the water cooler, splashing a little into each canister.  "Okay Root, cut the tablets in half."  Root cuts them precisely with her nails.  "This next part has to be quick and once they’re closed and flipped we need to hide behind that basket of toys just in case." 

“Just in case what Sam?” 

“Don’t worry, just do what I say!” Sameen bites out.  Root’s always good at following Sameen’s orders whether they make sense to her or not.  She and Sam are a team and you always back up your team Sameen says.  Even if you think they may be wrong.  You never let your partner down.  It’s very important to Sameen and so it’s very important to Root.

So a minute later when the adults hear explosive sounds coming from the play room and dash in to find the girls hiding in E.T.'s closet sans door, Root won’t say a word about what happened.  Abbas and Anwen have a hard time keeping their laughter hidden.  “Sameen Shaw and Root Groves front and center."  Sam’s head is held high, whereas Root looks chagrined.  "I take it you girls made a canister rocket?"  Root can’t contain herself anymore.  "Four maman, we made four!  And they flew really high and made a pop sound."

Sam knew Root would break.  She’s always the weakest link.  So Sameen steps up.  "Well, maman we were told we could play with anything in the room.  The bathroom is in the room and that’s where I got the alka seltzer.  So we didn’t disobey you."

Mah laughs at both of them; she can't help it.  They’re incorrigible.  This idea has Sameen written all over it, but Root’s backing her up all the way.  “And who came up with this harebrained scheme?”  They stand in attention stance as Sameen was taught in her taekwondo training.  Clearly she’s taught Root the stance and to never surrender.  “If you don’t tell me then both of you will suffer the same consequence.”  Root holds her breath because what if Sameen is wrong and it will be something worse or bad.  Mah can see Root’s anxiety.  “So, tomorrow there will be no television.  Understood ladies?”  Sameen gives Root a smug smile and Root shakes her head.  “It could’ve been something else Sameen.  Then what?”

“Then I would’ve thrown myself on my sword and Mah would accept the fault was all mine.” 

"But Sam you could die!  You can’t do that!”

“It’s just a saying Root.  It just means I’ll take all the blame.  I’ll never let you get hurt Root.  I do the protecting.  You, Mah, and Abbas are my family.  I will never let anything happen to you.”

“Okay ladies can I expect no other rockets will be lifting off?” Anwen wants to know.

She get a chorus of ‘no, ma'am.”

“Well good," she smiles.  Please call me Anwen, ma'am makes me sound so old.”

“Root, where would you like to talk?  In the playroom or in my office?”

“Wherever Sameen wants.”  Anwen didn’t expect quite this level of attachment.  “Sameen do you want to be with us while I talk with Root?”  Sameen gives her a ‘when are you going to get a clue lady’ look.  “Yes.  It should be the playroom so our parents can see us if anything goes wrong.”

“Are you expecting something to go wrong Sam?”

“Call me Sameen.  Only Root calls me Sam.  Something can always go wrong, especially when you don’t expect it.  So if you expect it then you’re ready for it.  Anyway, this isn’t about me.  Talk to Root.  I’m just here…in case something goes wrong.”

Mah and Abbas step out of the playroom and sit in the waiting room by the playroom window so the girls can see them.

 

* * *

 

“Okay Root is there anything specific you’d like to talk about first?”

“Um why am I here?  She doesn’t want to see me or call me,” she whispers, her eyes on the floor.

“Actually Root, your mother changed her mind and she would like to see you on your birthday.”  Root shuts down completely.  Her eyes are darting everywhere looking for an escape and Anwen starts to think things will have to move much slower.

But Sameen stands in front of her and takes her hand.  “You only have to see her if you want.  No one is going to make you see her.  I’m right here and I won't let anyone make you do anything that feels bad to you.  Okay Root?  Do you want to leave now or do you want to talk to Anwen?”  Sameen’s words result in the tension leaving Root’s body.  Root scoots her chair closer so she can hold on to Sameen’s hand. 

“Why didn’t she call me in so long?”  Anwen stops to consider her answer.  She needs to couch the truth in a way Root will understand.  “Sometimes Root, when we have big problems we feel we can’t fix them.  It’s hard to see that other people have big problems too.  So we focus on ourselves and forget to help other people in our family.  No one’s perfect Root, not even parents.”

“That’s not true, Mah and Abbas are perfect.  Sameen is perfect.  Sameen is extra perfect.”  Anwen decides to segue in another direction. There’s no reason to try to convince Root the Shaw’s aren’t perfect.  It would be completely counterproductive. 

Root starts to look nervous again.  “Is this a trick to leave me there with her?”  Sameen stands at attention.  “It better not be.  Because I will find her wherever you try to take her.”  Anwen sees the family’s already bonded in a unique way.  “There will be no tricks, but why don’t we talk about all this together as a family?  Would that be okay Root?”  Root nods yes enthusiastically.  She doesn’t understand why they didn’t do it this way to begin with.

Mah carries Root on her lap and Sameen tucks between her legs so she can still hold Root’s hand.  Abbas scoots his chair closer so he can wrap his hand around Mah and Root’s shoulders.

So Anwen starts again.  “Okay Root, now you know your mother will like to see you.  How does that make you feel.”

“Scared.  Do I have to stay with her?”

“Absolutely not.”

“You will be completely safe and you can bring anyone you want with you to the visit.  Mah will be with you the whole time.”

“Is she mad at me?”

“I don’t know sweetheart.  I just don’t know.  But I do know she has no reason to be mad at you because you haven’t done even a little bit wrong.”

“Can I leave when I want?”

“Yes, you can leave the very second you decide you don’t want to be there anymore.”

“Root, you don’t have to see her at all if you don’t want to.  We won’t let her touch you and you will not be staying with her.”

“Root she can still hurt you with her words,” Sameen points out.  “They can’t stop her from being mean.  And even if you run away fast, you’ll hear some of it.  I’ll teach you how to block things out to not let them through you no matter what.  I know how to do it.  I do.”  The look on Sameen’s face is utterly fierce.

“Okay, Root.  I think you should think it over as a family over the weekend.  If you have any questions Mah will call me and we can talk or you can come see me again.  Do you have any other questions before you leave?”  Root cocks her head, pensive.  “Can I ask her why she hurt me?”

“Yes, you can Root.  Yes you can.”            **  
**


	16. Kids Always Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It was worth it to see them laughing. I’ve never seen Sameen laugh so hard at a movie. Plus I think the theme of the two friends banding together sent a positive message; even if it was to put their principal in underpants.” Mah and Abbas can’t help laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but I wanted to keep moving them along. I plan to wrap up this stage in their lives in the next couple of chapters and then have the first time jump. I haven't quite decided to when, so feel free to chime in with any ideas!

Mah gets a call from Anwen on Sunday.  “Hi Ms. Monir, I just wanted to touch base regarding Ms. Groves.”

“Please Anwen, call me Mah.  Were you able to go see her?”

“Yes, they gave me a bit of a hard time since she’s not allowed visitors until tomorrow, but Ms. Garcia made an exception.”

“She’s very helpful.  So what were your impressions?”

“Well, to say Ms. Groves has a Narcissistic Personal Disorder is a gross understatement.  She blames Root for all her problems, but at the same time she wants her back.  She sees Root as property.  We’re already seeing the effects of Ms. Groves’ parenting; the insecurity and lack of confidence Root exhibits.  Ms. Groves sees Root as a burden and a nuisance, but it’s about control; she can’t let you ‘take’ Root.”

Mah sighs deeply.  “If it were only a matter of insecurity and confidence, I think we could help Root rebuild those with time.  But Groves has made Root feel guilty for the ‘needed’ forms of abuse Root ‘forced’ her to inflict.”

Anwen wishes there were an easy answer.  “Ms. Groves uses the abuse as manipulation and a child Root’s age can’t defend against it or understand what’s going on.  We could spend hours talking about the damage Ms. Groves is doing to Root, but as I see it, we need to focus on the main issue.  Its clear Ms. Groves should never be reunited with Root, but will the court see what we see? 

It’s not likely.  Ms. Groves will appear pleasant and kind and heart-broken her daughter has been taken from her.  I could, and am more than willing, to testify; but the court will look askance at any diagnoses I may make after only seeing her once.  I think we need to let Root visit her, but under my supervision as well as yours.  The supervised visitation will bolster my diagnoses should it be necessary and I can put an immediate halt to any inappropriate behavior.”

“Anwen, Abbas and I are willing to do whatever it takes to protect Root.  I’ll talk to Abbas but I’m still not sure exposing Root to Groves will be the right thing.  Children don’t understand the ‘long-run.’  Root’s still at the age where instant gratification is the norm.  I don’t think she’ll understand we need to do something that feels bad today so we can feel better weeks, possibly months from now.”

“Mah, I understand.  Right now Root is safe, but what will happen six weeks from now when Ms. Groves is released and wants Root back?  The court will order regular visits by child services, but it won’t be enough to keep Root safe.  Ms. Groves may even stop the physical abuse, but the continuous emotional and mental attacks on Root’s psyche will continue.  Sometimes a parent needs to choose between the lesser of two evils.”

“Would it be possible for you to meet us tomorrow at 2pm at the facility Anwen?  At this point I think we need to go through at least this visit, otherwise Root will be even more confused.”

“Normally I don’t work on Mondays, but yes, I’ll meet you there.”

 

* * *

 

Mah and Abbas had already decided to keep the girls home from school for Root’s birthday and Abbas took the day off.  They discuss the situation and Abbas agrees they at least need to have this one visit.  But they’re determined to make Root’s birthday special and not let Groves ruin her daughter’s birthday.

“We’re not going to school today Root.”

“Why Sam?”

“Because it’s your birthday.”

Root looks at her a little confused and Sameen doesn’t understand the problem.  Mah hears them from the hallway and she thinks she understands what might be going on.  She walks into the girls’ room with a big smile.

“Sameen, go help Abbas with breakfast while I help Root get dressed.”

“She can dress herself maman.”  Sometimes having an intelligent and stubborn child brings its challenges.  “I know Sameen.  Now go help Abbas.”  Sameen will never understand adults, but she’s a relatively obedient child and does as Mah asks.

“Happy birthday Root.”

Root looks away from Mah, but whispers a thank you.  Mah doesn’t want to remind Root of any bad birthdays so she thinks of how to let Root know her birthday is special.  “You know nāzi today is your special day.  So we’re going to have breakfast and open gifts and then we’re going to the Computer History Museum.”

“There’s a museum about computers?”

“Yes nāzi.  We thought you would like to see it since you like computers so much.”  Root smiles and Mah gives her a hug.  “Come on let’s see what Abbas made you for breakfast.”

They go downstairs to find Abbas made Root’s favorite omelet and blueberry pancakes.  “Come on Root, sit down, I’m hungry and bâbâ won’t let me eat until you eat,” Sameen huffs.  Root smiles at her friend and sits down at her normal seat at the table next to Sameen.  The family enjoys their breakfast and then settles in the living room.

“Root we have a couple of gifts for you.”  Mah sees that same confused look on Root’s face as she had upstairs.  Mah suspects Root’s never celebrated a birthday or received gifts but pointing it out doesn’t seem the best way to make Root’s birthday special.  “Here, this one is from me and Abbas.  It’s a little heavy so I’m going to put it on the coffee table.”

Root looks at Sameen who gives her a ‘come on get on with it look.’  Root’s the only one who can read _all_ of Sameen’s looks so she doesn’t waste anymore time.  Root tears off the wrapping paper after gentle prodding from Mah and looks puzzled for a second.  “It’s a computer!”  A wide grin decorates her face for the first time today.

“Yes nāzi; we asked Sameen what we should get you and she said a computer.  It was her idea.” 

“Thank you maman.”  She looks shyly at Abbas.  Root hasn’t yet gotten 100% comfortable around Abbas, probably because the only interactions she’s had with men weren’t positive and she’s never had a father.  But she goes over and gives him a small hug, “thank you bâbâ.”  It brings tears to Mah’s eyes and Abbas’ joy is written on his face.

Root turns to Sameen.  “Thanks Sam.”  Sameen’s not comfortable with appreciation.  “Now you don’t have to borrow mine.”

“Sameen Shaw!” Mah exclaims.  But Root’s smiling like Sameen hung the moon and she’s obviously not upset.  Sameen squirms and hands Root a sheet of paper she retrieves from under the couch.  Root looks at it and then at Sameen.  She catches Sameen in a hug and plants a smoochy kiss on her cheek before she can get away.  “Root!” Sameen complains.  But Root’s not paying any attention to Sameen’s grumbling.

Mah and Abbas have no idea what’s going on since Sameen never mentioned anything to them about doing something for Root.  “What is it Root?”  Root doesn’t seem to want to let go of the paper, but she walks over so Mah and Abbas can see it.  It’s a drawing of Cinderella’s castle and the attention to detail is amazing.  It’s still a child’s rendition, but it’s easily recognizable as the castle. 

Mah and Abbas have seen some of Sameen’s drawings but usually she’s very private about them.  She definitely has a gift.  “Sameen, its beautiful.”  Sameen rolls her eyes and turns away, uncomfortable with the attention.  But she turns around when she hears Root’s voice.  “I’ve never gotten a gift before.”  Before Mah and Abbas can even think of what to say, Sameen grins at Root.  “Wait ‘till the holidays.  We get a lot more!”

 

* * *

  

Root falls in love with the museum and Mah and Abbas promise they’ll bring her again.  She participated in a Make Software workshop and in minutes had the moderators drooling at her ability.  Mah and Abbas had to duck and dodge to avoid the well-meaning but unwanted attention.

They’re sitting outside having an ice-cream when Mah broaches the subject of seeing Groves.  “Root, remember we talked about maybe seeing your mother on your birthday?”  Root nods yes and looks away.  “Do you want to go?”  Mah and Abbas decided no matter what they wouldn’t make Root go if she didn’t want to.  They’d figure something else out.  “Okay.” Root whispers.

Mah hesitates, thinking about whether they should discuss it further with Root, but she’s already holding Sameen’s hand and they’re walking to the car.  Mah takes a second to smile at the way Root and Sameen hold hands.  Root cups Sameen’s hand with her palm and fingers and holds it.  Sameen doesn’t clasp their hands or anything, she just lets Root hold on.

 

* * *

 

When they get to the facility Anwen is waiting for them.  “Hello Root.  Hi Sameen.”  The girls nod politely, but anxiety is written all over Root’s face.  Anwen kneels down so she’s at Root’s level.  “Just remember Root, we can leave whenever you want.  You’re not staying here and we won’t let her hurt you.  Are you ready?”

Root lets go of Sameen’s hand and after a slight hesitation raises her hands so Mah can carry her.  Mah picks her up with a smile.  “Abbas and Sameen will wait here okay Root?”  Root looks at Sameen, who stares back at her unflinchingly almost as if she’s trying to give Root all the strength and courage in her little body.  “Okay.”

There’s a special visiting room for kids with toys and small chairs and tables.  Of course Groves is sitting at an adult’s table because Root’s comfort doesn’t even occur to her.  She stands when she sees them and smiles sweetly at Root but the effect is more that of a snake circling her prey.  “Samantha honey, I’ve missed you so much.”  She puts her arms out to take Root from Mah, but Root holds on tighter and Mah sits with Root on her lap, ignoring Groves’ outstretched arms.

Mah sees a momentary flash of anger in Groves’ eyes but she quickly schools them.  She tries to sit next to Mah and Root, but Anwen beats her to the punch and she’s forced to sit across the table from them.  Anwen doesn’t want Ms. Groves’ physical form towering over Root in subtle attempt at intimidation.

So far Root hasn’t said anything.  “Samantha honey, aren’t you going to say hello?  Did you forget how to be polite?”  Of course the insinuation is Root’s doing something wrong and that Mah’s influence has been detrimental.  Gradually Root lets go of her hold on Mah’s neck and looks at her mother.  “Hi mom.”

“How are you Samantha?”  Root mumbles, “good.”  Groves’ looks at her authoritatively.  “That’s great, but I haven’t been so good.  It’s not nice in here and…”  Anwen interrupts Groves decisively.  “Root honey, is there anything you’d like to say to your mother?”

“Why did you hurt me?”  Groves looks like a ton of bricks just landed on her head and her smile falters.  “Samantha, I don’t know what you mean.  I do the best I can and you…”  This time Mah cuts her off.  “Is there anything nice you’d like to say to Root?”  But before her mother says anything Root’s small voice is heard in the stillness.  “You didn’t give me food and you…”  Tears start falling down Root’s face but her voice doesn’t falter.  “…you hurt me real bad.  Why?”

The veneer on Groves’ face starts to crack.  “I don’t know why you…”  Mah can see this is pointless.  Root seems to need some kind of acknowledgment of her pain from her mother, some indication it wasn’t her fault, but it’s not going to happen. 

But Groves isn’t the only one who can manipulate and Anwen’s had plenty of experience dealing with narcissistic parents.  “You know Ms. Groves, I’m here to help the court evaluate your relationship with Root and I find judges usually look more favorably when parents admit they’re not perfect, but plan to do better.”

Mah can see the wheels turning in Groves’ mind.  “Well of course I’m not perfect Sa…Root.  I’m sorry if I hurt you.  I didn’t mean to but…”  Anwen coughs loudly and Groves gets the point.  Be nice to the kid if she wants a favorable report.  “I promise I’ll do better.”

“I don’t believe you.  I was lonely but now I have a friend and I’m safe.”  She looks at Mah.  “Can we go now?”  Mah stands immediately.  “Of course nāzi.”  Mah turns and walks away without another word.  She can hear Groves’ raising her voice, but she walks quickly and they don’t hear what she says.  Anwen stays behind.

When they reenter the reception area Sameen’s sitting with her arms crossed, scowling, and Abbas has a worried look on his face.  Root pushes away from Mah a little, indicating she wants to get down.  For once Sameen takes her hand.  “Did she hurt you?”  Root wipes her face on her t-shirt and nods no.  Sameen nods sharply and then her face softens. 

“There’s a movie I want to see.  Do you want to go?”  Root’s nodding yes before Sameen finishes.  “It’s called Captain Underpants and bâbâ says it’s starting soon.”  Root starts giggling.  “That’s a funny name.”  Sameen shrugs and leads Root outside.

 

* * *

 

That evening after the girls are asleep, Mah gives Abbas the details on their visit.  “You know Abbas, theoretically I know about parents like Groves, but to actually experience it in the flesh is horrifying. Every word out of the woman’s mouth was a veiled insinuation that Root was the problem.”  Abbas can see the pain in Mah’s eyes and he hugs her into his body, putting his arm around her shoulder.  “Kids always know Mah.  Root is smart.  With our help she’ll be great,” he opines with enthusiasm.  Mah laughs at his Captain Underpants imitation.

“You know I’m not so sure we should have taken the girls to see that movie.  Who knows what kind of ideas they’ll get.”

“It was worth it to see them laughing.  I’ve never seen Sameen laugh so hard at a movie.  Plus I think the theme of the two friends banding together sent a positive message; even if it was to put their principal in underpants.”  Mah and Abbas can’t help laughing.

Root and Sameen wait until Mah checks on them and then Root climbs up to Sameen’s bed.  They’re talking under the covers.  Well Root’s talking and Sameen’s listening, but it’s all Root needs.  She doesn’t need Sameen to fix it; she just wants to be heard.  “I don’t want to see her again Sam.  Do you think Mah and Abbas will let me stay here with you?”  Root sounds worried although most of her knows Mah and Abbas love her.  “Yes.  Now go to sleep.”  Root sighs in relief and snuggles in under the covers, close to Sameen but not touching.   


	17. The Cold War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mah’s thinking this may be the calm before the storm and the only question is when will the sky open, because it’s already looking overcast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title and the storm metaphor are taken from S04E10, The Cold War.

The next day Root wakes up her normal cheery self and Mah thanks the universe for the resiliency of children.  Root will probably need to talk about it at some point, but Mah won’t force the issue.  Some emotional equilibrium is better for Root right now.

 

* * *

 

Root and Sameen are playing Dots and Boxes before class starts when something occurs to Root and Sameen sees a mischievous smile appear on her face.  “What?”

“I’m older than you Sam!”

Sameen rolls her eyes.  “My birthday is in three weeks, then you won’t be older.”

Root’s still smiling but shakes her head no.  “I turned 6 first so I’ll always be older.”

“It’s your turn,” Sameen huffs grumpily.

 

* * *

 

Mah answers the phone and it’s Arthur Claypool.  “Hi Mah, how are you?”

“I’m well, Arthur.  How are you?”

“Good, good…”  Mah starts to get the feeling something’s not right.  “Is there a problem Arthur?  You sound like the bearer of bad news.”  Arthur sighs deeply.  “Not exactly.  I’m not sure if Abbas told you, but federal law requires us to search for family members within 30 days of a child's removal from their parents.”

“Root has relatives?”

“Maybe, an aunt.  She claims she’s Root’s father’s sister.”

“Where did this woman come from?  I thought we didn’t know who Root’s father is…”

“When we do an investigation for relatives we search for anyone who might have any connection to the child in case they know of relatives.  On one of her benefits applications Ms. Groves listed a man, Bo Bryer.  He died a couple of years ago but the investigator reached out to his sister to see if she knew anything about Root.  She claims Root’s her niece.”

“Why wouldn’t Groves tell us about any relatives?”

“I doubt she knows.  It doesn’t seem like the relationship lasted more than a few weeks.  Look Mah, I know Root’s dealing with a lot of issues for a kid her age, but we’re going to need a DNA test.”

“Does this woman even want Root?”  The silence grows uncomfortable and Mah’s brain is already scrambling for ways to thwart this latest development.  “Again, maybe.  She wants to know if Root’s actually related to her first.”

“So you want us to traumatize Root even further on the off-chance this stranger may be interested in taking custody of her?!  Over my dead body Arthur.  The answer is no.”

Arthur’s voice conveys his compassion and his anticipation of Mah’s reaction.  “Mah, if you don’t let us collect the sample the department will be forced to get a court order.  It will look like you’re uncooperative and endanger Root’s placement.  We can set it up at a doctor’s office so you can explain to Root she’s getting a check-up. 

Look Mah, talk to Abbas.  He’s been in meetings out of the office all day so I haven’t had a chance to talk to him.  But he’ll tell you the same thing.  The law requires us to move on this information immediately.”  Arthur hesitates and Mah knows there’s even more bad news.  “We need to do this tomorrow.  I can push it to the afternoon, but that’s it.”

“I’m going to call Abbas right now Arthur, but I’m telling you right now if there’s any way, any way at all, to fight this, we will.”  Mah hangs up and knows she’s unreasonably angry with Arthur when it’s not his fault, but she can’t help it.

She sends a text to Abbas.  “Need to talk about Root.  911.”  Mah waits for his response anxiously.  A few minutes later he’s walking through the door.  “Mah what’s wrong?  Where’s Root?  Is she okay?”

Mah’s shocked to see him.  “How did you get here so fast?”

“I was already on my way back to the office.”  He looks around him searchingly.  “What’s going on?”  Mah explains and she can tell by the look on Abbas’ face she’s not going to like his answer.  “There’s nothing we can do about the test Mah, but we _can_ fight any challenge to custody even if this woman turns out to be a blood relative.” 

What Abbas doesn’t say is the likelihood of prevailing in a custody dispute over a blood relative is slim to none.  Root hasn’t been with them long enough and she’s old enough where a change won’t be looked upon as permanently detrimental to her.  If she were under two years old or been with them more than six months they’d have a better chance, but as it stands their best hope is the woman’s not a relative or decides she doesn’t want custody.  But there’s something they _can_ do to gear up for any fight headed their way.  There’s no doubt they’re going to fight for Root.

“Mah, what we _can_ do is hire an investigator specializing in child custody cases.  He can conduct a background check on this woman, talk to friends and neighbors, and go over her life with a fine toothed comb.  If there’s anything that would make her an unfit guardian for Root we can use that at the hearing, assuming it gets that far.  If we uncover anything negative she may just go away and not bother to fight for custody.”

“Abbas we can’t let anyone take her.  She’s part of our family.  We would all be devastated, but Sameen will be crushed,” Mah exclaims fiercely.  Abbas takes her hands in his.  “Mah, this may all be premature.  We may be worried for nothing.  But the DNA will take at least a couple of weeks to come back and we’ll be ahead of the game in case anything needs to be done.  In the meantime, we can’t let the girls sense anything is wrong.  I’ll set up the test and we’ll take Root tomorrow after school.”

 

* * *

 

Mah tells Root about her checkup when she picks the girls up from school.  Root seems fine about it but Sameen looks at her mother pointedly.  Mah knows Sameen’s particularly attuned to feelings in others, especially her parents, because no matter how much Abbas and Mah reassure her, she still thinks she needs to ‘feel’ the way other people feel.  So she studies people and their reactions to situations.  Mah’s sure Sameen doesn’t know what’s going on, but she definitely senses something’s off.

The next day they take Root to the ‘doctor’ for the DNA swab.  Mah feels like Marie Antoinette staring at the blade and waiting for it to fall.  The only silver lining is the lab is backed up due to the upcoming holidays and the tests probably won’t be back until after Sameen’s birthday in January.  So hopefully the holidays and Sameen’s birthday will be carefree.  At least for the girls.

Abbas contacts the head of child protective services in California and gets the name of an investigator highly recommended by the chief.  Abbas hires him and says something akin to a prayer even though he’s an atheist.  But they’re no atheists in foxholes and Abbas fears a grenade’s headed their way.

Mah’s thinking this may be the calm before the storm and the only question is, when will the sky open because it’s already looking overcast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know some of you will be feeling all angsty with this chapter, but I promise it will be resolved _one way or another _in the next couple of days.__
> 
> A federal law does exist as described.


	18. The Sky Falls

Mah sits on the couch at 3am wondering where the last few weeks went and how things could’ve gone so horribly wrong.  The holidays were wonderful but the call the day after Sameen’s birthday brought their world crashing down around them. 

The DNA test was positive.  Bo Bryer was Root’s father and his sister, Mary Bryer, is indeed her aunt.  She decides she wants custody of Root and despite hiring the best lawyers and the testimony of Anwen and Arthur, the court awards custody to Mary, primarily on the basis of the blood tie.

By all accounts, she’s a decent woman with Root’s best interests at heart.  Except she’s taking Root home to California with her.  They argued Root should at least be allowed to finish out the school year, but the Court felt it best to not let Root’s attachments deepen.  As if it weren’t already too late for that.  

Root’s been crying for days and inside Mah knows a part of Root feels Mah and Abbas let her down.  Sameen’s completely shut down and even Anwen can’t get through to her.

In a few hours the girls will have to say goodbye.  They’ll all have to say goodbye.  Mah’s heart is breaking for both girls and she fears what the future may hold.

 

* * *

 

“Sameen, I don’t want to go,” Root cries as she clutches Sameen under the covers on the top bunk.  “Did you memorize the numbers Root?”  She can feel Root nodding against her shoulder.  “Mary says you can call us whenever you want and we can visit during the summer.”

“But I want to stay here with you,” Root hiccups.  Sameen just lets Root cry herself out and eventually Root falls asleep.  Sameen can’t fall asleep and she feels a sharp pain inside her trying to get out.  She’s felt it before sometimes, but not like this.  She recognizes the anger.  But there’s something else she can’t identify.

 

* * *

 

Morning dawns on the heartbroken family and the time comes for Root to leave.  Mary’s in the living room waiting while the family gathers in the girls’ room to say their goodbyes.  They’re all mushed on the lower bunk and everyone’s crying except Sameen who’s looking…empty Mah thinks is the most apt description.  “Nāzi we love you very much and we tried everything to keep you with us.  We don’t want you to go, but sometimes things don’t work out the way we want.  You call us whenever you want and we’ll call you.  We’re still a family. We will see each other again.”

Root just nods, tears trailing down her face, and looks at Sameen hoping she can fix it the way she fixes everything for Root.  Sameen can’t identify or name what she’s feeling but its despair and helplessness and anger so deep she just wants to explode.  She won’t say goodbye.  She won’t.  She can’t.

Abbas carries Root downstairs, while Mah stays upstairs with Sameen.  They can hear Root begging Mary not to take her and Abbas trying to reassure her.  Sameen stands up and goes to the top of the stairs.  Root looks up at her and Sameen nods.  Root stops struggling although she’s still crying and the door closes behind her.

Sameen runs out the backdoor to her tree house and doesn’t come out until Abbas fetches her when the sun sets.


	19. Clear Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbas finds Sameen sitting on the staircase. She doesn’t wait for him to speak. “Is Root coming home?” Abbas can’t help gaping at his daughter. “Sameen, how did you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I hereby apologize for the angst. Believe me, I suffered through it too which is why I had to hurry up and fix it, even at the expense of my real job! Let me explain. I needed some catalyst for why Root and Shaw's personalities develop the way they do. It's an alternate universe but I needed to keep them more or less true to 'themselves' or else it'd just be original fiction with their names. However, since it is AU, there will be no Samaritan, or AI apocalypse. I promise.
> 
> For those of you who have been anxiously waiting, here is the much awaited time-jump. They're 10 now. Eventually I'll fill in details about why Root didn't call, what she was feeling when she was in the hospital, and what Sameen was actually thinking for herself during those four years. If there's anything you want to know that I haven't covered let me know.
> 
> However, there will be only one chapter before I time jump them again to age 12 and pre-teen angst.
> 
> Also, this may not be perfectly proof-read but I thought I'd rather (and you rather) I posted sooner rather than later. So there may be some proof-reading edits. If you catch anything let me know.
> 
> I may not post again until Monday. I'm emotionally exhausted! But I appreciate your sticking with me and as always, all comments are welcome and thoughtfully considered!

Groves disappears from rehab without completing it and the department moves to terminate her parental rights.  Mary cooperates, Groves’ rights are terminated, and Mary remains Root’s legal guardian.

But despite the assurances to the Court and everyone else involved, Mary does not allow contact with Root.  She changes her number and moves.  They wait anxiously for a call from Root that never comes.  Abbas hires the same investigator to find them but the trail ends at the state line with no clue as to where they may have gone.

Sameen continues to excel in school and martial arts but refuses to go to science club anymore.  As time passes she withdraws more into herself and her only emotional outlet seems to be her drawing.  Anwen remains close to the family but no longer counsels Sameen in a formal setting.  Instead she comes over for dinner regularly, having become a close friend of the family.

As the months pass things fall into a regular routine, but it’s like a pall has fallen over the family.  True laughter is rarely heard and Mah and Abbas worry that no matter what they try Sameen’s never going to get over the loss of Root.  She refuses to let Mah get rid of the bunk beds.  Every year Mah tries and every year Sameen refuses. 

 

* * *

 

One day Mah comes across Sameen’s sketchbooks.  Sameen never lets them see her drawings and Mah hesitates to look, wanting to respect her privacy.  But Sameen’s so closed off from them and maybe her drawings will clue them in to what’s going on inside her.  She opens it and tears come to her eyes as she slouches onto the floor in Sameen’s room.  All the drawings are of Root. 

The early ones are of their trip to WDW.  But there are also ones of Root in the tree house and sleeping and on the swings.  As the years have passed the drawings have become more sophisticated and detailed.  In some it’s clear Sameen’s trying to envision what Root may look like now.  Mah calls Anwen and Anwen can hear the tears in her voice.

They’re sitting in the kitchen having coffee and Mah’s managed to calm down while Anwen peruses Sameen’s sketches.  She covers Mah’s hand with her own in empathy.  “Mah, I’m not sure how else we can help Sameen.  It’s been four years and clearly she’s still reeling from the loss.  We’ve discussed it before; she’s suffering from a form of attachment disorder.  Her first real relationship outside you and Abbas ended and she’s decided she’s not letting anyone else close.

Normally we treat attachment disorders in kids by showing them that not all relationships end, that there can be a break but also a repair.  Connection-Break-Repair.  But Sameen won’t let anyone close enough to even have a semblance of a relationship.  So it’s difficult to show her she can still care about someone without always losing them. 

I think her introverted nature has helped her in a way.  She’s still doing well in school and not acting out and her drawings show she’s still in touch with her feelings even if she can’t or won’t express them. You can see happiness, sorrow, longing, and a range of other emotion in her work.”

Mah’s only mildly reassured, but ‘it could be worse’ isn’t exactly a cheerful thought.  “Mah, have you tried finding Root?”  Mah sighs.  “We’ve tried everything we can think of, including looking for Groves in case she reunited with her.”

 

* * *

 

After her conversation with Mah, Anwen wonders what else can be done to find Root.  It’s the only way she can think of to help Sameen; even if it’s just a phone call to provide some closure.  She’s never seen a child so young bond with a friend so irrevocably; she’s still attached and suffering years later.  Something occurs to her and she calls Abbas.

“Hi Abbas, its Anwen.”  Abbas greets her warmly.  “Hi Anwen, are you coming to dinner Sunday?”

“I’ll be there, but I’m calling about something else.  It’s about Root.”

Abbas answers cautiously; he’s suffered her loss as well and he hurts for his daughter on a daily basis.  There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about Root.  He knows part of it is Sameen’s continued withdrawal since Root’s been gone, but it’s also the light Root brought into their lives.  “Have you found her?”

“No Abbas, I’m sorry to give you that impression, but I do have an idea.  I think you’re uniquely placed to help, but I don’t think we should get Mah’s hopes up.  I wouldn’t even tell you, but it’s not something just anyone can do.”

Abbas is willing to try anything to bring his family back together.  “What can I do?”

“Well, every state has a centralized benefits database. What if Mary applied for benefits and listed Root as a member of her household?  There would be a record somewhere.  It would take 50 phone calls, 52 with DC and Puerto Rico, but it’s worth a shot.”

“Actually Anwen that’s information even I can't get.  There are privacy laws and no stranger’s going to risk their career for me, no matter where I’m calling from.”  He can hear Anwen sigh with real disappointment.  “But you know, there just may be someone who can help us.  I’ll look into it and let you know.”  Abbas hangs up, cautiously optimistic.  For the first time in years he feels a thread of hope they may be able to find Root.

 

* * *

 

“Mr. Shaw, I was surprised to get your call.  Come in please.”

Abbas walks into the most immaculate office he’s ever seen.  The reflection of the sunlight on the white walls is almost blinding and Abbas squints and shades his eyes.  The desk is pristine with only two computers and three monitors, a keyboard and a mouse.  He’s hesitant to sit on the museum chair placed precisely at a ninety degree angle from the desk.

“Please sit.  How may I help you?  I was so disappointed your family chose not have Ms. Groves participate in my study.”

“Well, it wasn’t a choice exactly.  We were fostering Samantha, Root, and her aunt came forward to take custody.  We haven’t seen or heard from her for over four years despite doing everything in our power to find her.”

“I’m so sorry Mr. Shaw.  Ms. Groves is a unique child, extraordinary really.  In my experience, completely unique in her abilities.”  Abbas knows Hornbill’s interest in Root was purely academic, but hopefully Root’s skills may entice him to help, if only out of self-interest.  He explains what he wants.

“Mr. Shaw what you are suggesting is at best unethical and at worst illegal.  There are some boundaries I just can’t violate.”

“Harold, I know what I’m asking is unorthodox, but my family and I love Root and we’ve spent the last four years trying to find her to at least make sure she’s okay.  Her mother was extremely abusive and we know nothing about the aunt who took custody.  For all we know her mother may be back in her life.  Trust me when I tell you I firmly believe it’s a matter of life and death.  Root’s life.   My family’s life.  My daughter Sameen has not been the same since the day Root left. 

If she’s doing well we won’t even contact her; but if she’s in trouble we need to bring her home.  We’ve spent thousands of dollars and tried everything we could think of over the last four years to find her.  Her aunt moved, disconnected her number, and for all intents and purposes disappeared.  We’re talking about a 10 year-old child.  She deserves everything we can do to make sure she’s okay.”

Abbas is not above promising Hornbill can work with Root if he helps them find her and they bring her home, but he’s not mentioning it until he’s sure it’s a last resort. 

Hornbill always struck him as a decent young man, if a bit obsessed.  Abbas studies his owlish face, eyebrows furrowed in thought, lips tightly pressed together, and hopes his better nature prevails.  The words almost seem to leave his mouth against his will.  “I will try Mr. Shaw, but I make no promises.  I will only pass on what I find if I believe it’s in Ms. Groves’ best interest.  I’ll be in touch as soon as I know anything.”

Abbas stands and offers his hand.  “My family and I will be forever in your debt Howard.  I appreciate anything you can do.”

Abbas calls Anwen and explains the plan he’s put in motion.  They agree to keep it from Mah until they know more.

 

* * *

 

The call comes sooner than Abbas expected; just a few hours later in fact. 

“Mr. Shaw, I’ve done as you requested and I’ve located Ms. Groves.  But I think you should come to my office to discuss it.  Do you have a medical background?”

“No, but my wife has a PhD in child psychology, why?”

“Well that may make the decision easier.  I’m willing to wait if you’d like to come by now.  I usually work late hours.” 

“I’ll be right there.”  Abbas debates whether to tell Mah what’s going on, but he’s still not willing to get her hopes up or worse, find Root needs them but they’re impotent to help her.  He tells her he has an emergency placement he needs to supervise and calls Anwen on his way to Harold’s office at the university.

 

* * *

 

“Harold, this is Anwen Eades.  She’s a psychologist and worked with Root and Sameen.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Eades, please, sit.”

“I apologize there’s no delicate way to say this…”  Abbas is not a violent man but he’s about to punch Harold into next week if he doesn’t spit it out already.

“Root’s been hospitalized in a psychiatric facility for children.”

Abbas doesn’t know how to process what he just heard and he looks at Anwen helplessly.  “Mr. Hornbill, you need to tell us more.  Quickly please.”

“She was placed a few months after she was taken from your care.  Evidently her aunt found her unmanageable.  A psychiatrist diagnosed Ms. Groves with ADHD and an unidentified mood disorder.  Initially she was admitted for being a danger to herself.  There was documentation of scars from self-inflicted injuries allegedly.  Ms. Bryer also claimed Root tried to burn her and was violent. 

Nothing in her medical records indicates she exhibited any of this behavior while she was hospitalized, but every time she was released Ms. Bryer would readmit her alleging the same type of violent episodes.  On her third admission the same psychiatrist certified Ms. Groves was bipolar.  I don’t have to tell you Ms. Eades how absolutely rare it is for a child as young as Ms. Groves to be diagnosed with that particular illness.”

“It’s practically unheard of,” Anwen whispers in shock.  Abbas’ white as a sheet, trying to absorb everything they’ve heard.  “We need to get her out of there,” Abbas practically shouts now he’s recovered his equilibrium.  Anwen is mentally working through all the steps they’ll need to take, but she knows Abbas won’t want to hear about the legal process.  She’s had experience helping some of her patients through it.

“Mr. Shaw, Ms. Bryer has been receiving significant assistance from the state of Arizona due to her niece’s condition and although I am loathe to consider someone could put a child through something so horrific for something as paltry as a few hundred dollars a month, it is possible it’s a motivating factor.”

Anwen’s shaking her head still trying to wrap her mind around what Root’s going through.  “Mr. Hornbill I can tell you without a doubt Root is nether bipolar nor violent.  I would stake my medical license on it even today without seeing her.  She was a scared little girl violently abused and then torn from the only family who ever loved and cared for her.  Now you’re telling me she went through that only to be abandoned again and I shudder to think how traumatized she must be, but she is not mentally ill of that I am sure.”

Harold hands Abbas an envelope.  “This is a court order requiring the hospital to release Ms. Groves into your care.”  That it’s forged goes without saying.  “But it will only take you so far.  You will need to reach a permanent solution with Ms. Bryer.  However, in the short–term it will allow you to bring Ms. Groves home.”

“Howard, I don’t know how we’ll ever be able to repay you.  We’ll be forever in your debt.  You did more than I ever could’ve expected.”

“It’s not necessary Mr. Shaw.  What’s been done to Ms. Groves is unconscionable.  I only wish I could’ve done more sooner.  Please take care of her and let me know if I can be of any further help.”

Abbas is on the phone by the time they hit the sidewalk outside the university.  Anwen waits at a discrete distance assuming he’s calling Mah.  When he’s done he seems calmer.  “Abbas I know an attorney experienced in these areas who may be able to help.”  But Abbas shakes his head no.

“I’m not putting Root or my family through some protracted legal process with an uncertain outcome.  We tried that already.  Now that Bryer has shown her true colors, Mah and I will deal with her.  I know exactly how to motivate someone like Bryer.”  He doesn’t specify exactly what he means and she doesn’t ask.  She finds she doesn’t really much care as long as they bring Root home.

 

* * *

 

“Mah, it’s a nice night, why don’t we sit out on the porch,” Abbas asks.  Sameen’s in bed and he pours them both a drink.  They sit outside and wave to a neighbor walking their dog.  “Okay Abbas, what’s going on?  Whatever it is I’m assuming you don’t want to risk Sameen overhearing?” She smiles knowingly at their daughters unapologetic eavesdropping.  But nothing could’ve prepared her for his next words.

“We found Root.”  Mah sips steadily while Abbas explains.

When Abbas finishes they sit for awhile in silence.  Abbas sees the slow dawning of a plan in Mah’s eyes.  “I’m calling Zoe.  At home, right now.  First thing tomorrow I’m flying up there and bringing Root home.”

Abbas isn’t inclined to disagree, but he’s always the voice of reason.  “Maybe we need to think this through and have a concrete plan,” he offers weakly.  Mah doesn’t bother to answer.  It’s so not happening that way.

“Zoe’s methods are somewhat unorthodox Mah; maybe we should ask Anwen for a recommendation.”  He realizes his own hypocrisy and decides to give up trying to dissuade Mah from what they both need and want to do.  Wasn’t he just telling Anwen he’s not leaving their future to the legal system?  “Never mind.  You’re right.  Call him.” 

 

* * *

 

The heavy metal door is pushed aside to make room for the breakfast trolley.  It towers over the nurse who wheels it down the hall, plastic trays rattling as they sit precariously on their metal railings.  Mah waits impatiently in the reception area for the administrator on call.  She deliberately came before business hours so there would be no attempt at verification of the court order.  She’s confident Harold’s document will pass scrutiny but she’s not taking any more chances. 

She flew in yesterday morning but decided it was worth the extra day.  She and Zoe met with Bryer and she proved very cooperative in relinquishing her guardianship over Root.  Once the papers are filed, Root will be legally in Mah and Abbas’ custody.  It took very little persuading.  Well, not much anyway.  Mah was prepared to go a lot further.  It just proved not to be necessary.  You can always count on a narcissist to act in their own best interests.

“Ms. Monir, I’m Ruth Patterson.  Would you like to come to my office?”

“Thank you, Ms. Patterson, but no.  As you can see here I have the legal documentation requiring you to release Ro…Samantha Groves into my custody.  I’d like to see her right away.”

Patterson squirms, clearly at a loss as to how to handle Mah.  “I’m sure you’ll understand Ms. Monir this is highly irregular.  We normally have a psychiatrist evaluate a patient before discharge.  In a couple of hours…”

But Mah interrupts her, her tone brooking no argument.  “She is not a patient.  She is a little girl swallowed up by a callous system and incompetent so called professionals.  I am not waiting a minute longer than it takes to open that door and walk to her room.

If you refuse I will call the police and have them enforce the order as they’re required to do by law.  If you continue to obstruct me you will be facing the nastiest civil lawsuit this hospital’s ever seen.  In fact, I’m sure they’d be willing to make you the scapegoat and fire you as part of the settlement.”

Mah doesn’t even ask what it’s going to be, she simply gestures toward the locked door.  

For a children’s unit, it’s still a rather dreary atmosphere. The tiles are scuffed from years of activity, and the beige walls are mottled by the occasional dent and missing section of paint. The faint outlines of past patients’ names remain where some have tried to etch theirs into the wall, to be scrubbed off later by the cleaning crew.  

Mah steps past Patterson when they reach Root’s room.  Mah’s first look takes her breath away.  Root’s face is relaxed in sleep, her long hair framing her face.  One hand rests on the sheet and the other’s loosely wrapped around something small.  She’s grown taller, but is still painfully thin, her pale skin almost as white as the sheet on the bed. 

When Mah gets closer she sees Root’s holding a small stuffed dog worn out by frequent handling.  It’s Bear, the toy Sameen gave her what seems like a lifetime ago.  Above her bed, scotched-taped to the wall, is the drawing Sameen gave her on her sixth birthday, the page yellowed but still surprisingly intact.

Mah takes a deep breath in an effort not to let her emotions drown her.  The important thing is she’s bringing Root home.  Mah senses a presence and looks behind her to see a nurse standing by the door.  She approaches and introduces herself.  “I’m Linda.  I’ve been Root’s day nurse for over three years.”  Mah pauses just before she dismisses the woman along with anyone else associated with this sham of a hospital.  Linda called her Root. 

Mah clears her throat.  “What can you tell me about her?”

“Well I can guess you already know the most important thing.  She doesn’t belong here.” She smiles a little.  “It’s nice to see Patterson get her ass handed to her for a change.  She’s out there making sure everyone is as helpful and cooperative as possible.”

“I want Root’s medical file and her belongings,” Mah instructs, because she’s not letting her guard down even though Linda seems like a caring and competent person. 

“Ms. Monir, the only things Root cares about are Bear and Sameen’s drawing.”

“Sameen’s…my daughter.  Root still talks about her?”

“Every day.  It’s the one thing that made her seem a little off to some people.  It’s like she expected her at any moment.  Her favorite words are ‘Sameen would say…’ or ‘Sameen would or wouldn’t like’ or even just her name.  I think it’s the way she’s kept hope alive, even if she was too young to know what she was doing.”

Mah turns back to Root.  Now that she’s here and Root’s so close, she’s afraid to touch her.  Afraid something will go wrong no matter how illogical the thought.  Linda seems to sense her discomfort.  “She’s a strong little girl Ms. Monir and hard as it is to believe, she was better off here than with that so-called aunt of hers.”

“Was she…”  Linda anticipates her question.  “I don’t think she was abused physically but she definitely _was_ neglected.  It’s obvious the scars used as a pretense for admitting her were old.  But after the third admit we stopped fighting it.  There are a few of us who have been here a long time and we made sure Root had as much love as we could give her. 

Oh, before I forget, her chart says she’s on Lithium, but she’s not.  We weaned her off it years ago.  It obvious she didn’t need it and we didn’t care what some ‘barely talk to the kids’ psychiatrist had to say about it.  She’s also not suffering from ADHD, she can sit for hours in front of a computer.”

Mah’s somewhat comforted by Linda’s words.  “Go ahead Ms. Monir, wake her.  I think she’s waited long enough.”

 

* * *

 

Mah sits down by Root gently and strokes her hair out of her face softly.  Root wakes slowly and at first Mah thinks she doesn’t recognize her, but her words make it clear she does.  “Maman, are we going home?”

“Yes nāzi, we’re going home.”

 

* * *

 

Mah calls Abbas from the airport to let him know everything went well and she’s on her way back with Root.  They discuss whether to tell Sameen anything before their arrival.  They chose not to tell her anything until there was no doubt Root was coming home.  She wouldn’t be able to take another blow involving Root.

“Abbas, you need to talk to her.  I think it’s better if she has a little time to process even if it’s only a few hours.  Maybe Anwen can come over for support.”  Abbas smiles although Mah can’t see him.  Mah can be pretty bossy when it comes to what’s important.  “She’s already on stand-by.  I’ll call her now.  We’ll see you soon.”

Abbas finds Sameen sitting on the staircase.  She doesn’t wait for him to speak.  “Is Root coming home?”  Abbas can’t help gaping at his daughter.  “Sameen, how did you…”

“My window was open.  I heard you the day before yesterday.  Well?”  Abbas suspects his daughter opens her window specifically for purposes of overhearing conversations she has no business knowing about, but it hardly seems important right now.

“Yes Sameen, she’s with Mah at the airport.  They’ll be here soon.”

“Is she staying for good this time?”

“Yes…”

“No one can take her away?”

“No…”

“Not even a judge?”

“No Sameen.  No one can take Root from us ever again.”

She stares at Abbas intensely and then shrugs her shoulders.  “Okay.”  It’s the most eye contact Sameen has given him in he can’t even remember how long.  “Sameen do you want to talk about it?  With me?  Or I can call Anwen?”

“No.  I’m going to wait for Root on the porch.”

“Sameen it’ll be about three hours before they get here.”  But Sameen goes out to the porch with her iPod and waits.  She's waited for years.  She can sit on a porch for three hours no sweat.

 

* * *

 

Root bounds out of the cab before Mah’s done paying the driver.  She races to Sameen and stops short in front of her.  “Sameen…,” she whispers.  Sameen’s sitting on the top step and they’re eye to eye.  “Hi Root.”  It’s all the permission Root needs to throw her hands around Sameen and hug her tight.  “I can’t breathe Root,” Sameen groans after a minute, but she doesn’t make any move to push Root away.

Energy’s literally bouncing from Root’s body and Sameen finally smiles.  “You still have the bottom bunk and no, you can’t sleep with me.  We’re too old for that…” she says without any conviction whatsoever.


	20. The Princess Bride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay Root. I’ll be here in the morning and so will you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I had it in me, but I just needed to get a little cheer going here. A moment of sadness here and there, but mostly fun and family and love (even if Sameen doesn't know it yet!).

Abbas picks Root up and swings her around before giving her a warm hug.  “Welcome home Root.  We missed you so much.”  She really should be too heavy to carry at her age, but she’s so thin he does it easily.  They all enter the house with a silent, but collective, sigh of relief.

“Nāzi are you hungry?  I’m going to make an early dinner.”

Root shrugs her shoulders.  “No maman, but do you have apples?” she asks shyly.  “Of course.”  She slices an apple for Root and puts it on a small plate along with a glass of milk.  Mah doesn’t mention Sameen insists on buying apples every week even though she never eats them.  Every week for four years Mah’s been buying apples.  Only the red ones though because Root never liked the green. 

Mah supposes they’ll have to get to know each other all over again and she’s sure some things have changed.  She knows it won’t always be easy.  But now they’ll have what they never had before.  Time.

 

* * *

 

Sameen grabs a yogurt and sits at the table with Root.  “Sam are you still doing karate?” Root wants to know.  Sameen rolls her eyes but she can’t hide the smile at the corner of her lips.  “It’s taekwondo Root.  I’m a second dan black belt now.”  Root smiles widely.  “Does that mean you’re really strong?”

Sameen shrugs.  “It just means I can defend myself.”  Her eyes cloud over momentarily and Root wonders what Sameen’s thinking.  Sameen’s blaming herself like she has so often over the last few years, because when it really mattered she couldn’t defend Root.  She couldn’t protect her and she couldn’t save her. 

Root doesn’t want Sameen to be sad ever again, but she knows Sameen won't tell her what's wrong even if she asks.  But she remembers the game they used to play.  She’s learned a lot more jokes over the last few years specifically for when she saw Sameen again.

“Sam, why don’t ghosts go to parties?”  For a second she thinks Sameen may not answer, but she plays her part.  “I don’t know why?”  Root’s giggling before she gets the answer out.  “Because they have no _body_ to dance with!”  Sameen cringes pretty convincingly but Root’s not buying it.

“What’s brown and sticky?”  This time Sameen just raises her eyebrows with a look that says ‘what?’  “A stick!”  Sameen shakes her head and sighs.  “Okay last one.  Why do mother kangaroos hate the rain?”  Sameen actually thinks about it but gives up.  “Because the kids have to play _inside_!”  Sameen groans but she’s smiling and Root announces, “I win!” enthusiastically.

 

* * *

 

Mah realizes Root’s energy is mostly nerves and she’s probably a little delirious she’s outside of that awful place after so long.  But Root seems to be deliberately staying away from any talk about the hospital specifically or her time with Mary.  Eventually Anwen will come over and talk with her.  Mah wants to make sure Root knows she _can_ talk about it if she wants and when she’s ready.  But tonight is just about being a family again. 

Sameen’s not really talking, but that’s no surprise and Root still doesn’t seem to expect her to talk much.  Mah realizes Sameen’s feeling awkward even if she’s not aware of it.  But when Root winds down Sameen asks if she wants to watch television.  “Do you have any good movies?”  Root wants to know.

“Have you seen The Princess Bride?”

“No. What’s it about?”

Sameen’s eyes dart about not sure how to explain.  “Westly and Buttercup fall in love and get separated, but he comes back to save her.  The names are kind of stupid but it’s funny.  He goes around saying ‘as you wish’ a lot.”  Root smiles her agreement and they head to the living room.

Less than two hours later Root’s pretty much swooning all over the place.  “Sameen I loved it!  Can we watch it again?”

“Not today.”

Root starts enacting some of her favorite scenes, voices and all.

 

 

> No more rhymes now, I mean it!
> 
> Anybody want a peanut?

 

 

 

> Inconceivable!
> 
> You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

 

Sameen groans.  She forgot.  Root never forgets.  Pretty much anything.  She should’ve picked an action flick; less talking.

 

 

> My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!
> 
> Who says life is fair, where is that written?

 

The last she says wistfully and then falls silent.  Mah shakes her head sadly in the kitchen when she hears her.  Root and Sameen learned that lesson all too soon.

Sameen grabs her hand, mostly to keep her from continuing to flit about the room, but a little bit because she wants to touch her.  “Come on let’s eat.  I’m hungry.”  Root smiles mischievously.  “As you wish.”

 

* * *

 

Mah and Abbas let the girls stay up late, mostly because its Root’s first day back and tomorrow’s Saturday so Sameen doesn’t have to be up for school.  Mah’s already making a list in her head of all the things she needs to do this weekend.  They need to go shopping for Root.  She needs clothes and a new computer.  Mah suspects Bryer sold the one they gave Root.  By now it’d be outdated anyway. 

She needs to review Root’s records from the hospital.  The school-year’s almost ended and Mah wants to see where Root’s at with her schoolwork.  At least the hospital had school for the kids, but she’s not too optimistic they were actually teaching them anything.  She can home school Root for the rest of the year and then get her extra help over the summer if she needs it.  Mah wants to make sure Root will be ready for the fall.  They’re starting fifth grade and she knows the girls will want to be in the same grade and in the same class.  She’ll have to go talk to Ms. Rodgers on Monday, but she’s sure there won’t be any problems.

Abbas can see the excitement in Mah’s eyes and he smiles, genuinely content for the first time in quite a while.  “You know Mah, we don’t have to do it all at once.  We don’t want to overwhelm Root or Sameen.”  Mah sighs, chagrinned.  “I know Abbas.  Even for me it’s a little surreal; I can only imagine what Root’s feeling.  Sameen too.  I just want to make sure they’re happy and safe and sound,” she adds.

 

* * *

 

Root’s on Sameen’s computer while Sameen draws.  “Sam do you know there are thousands of combinations for a ten digit number?”  Sameen looks up.  She knows that tone and Root’s building up to something.  “I calculated them on the computer.  The nurses would let me use the phone in the hallway and some days I’d dial almost 100 numbers.  But I never found the right one.  I forgot the number Sam.”  Root laughs it off, “I never forget, but I forgot the most important thing,” she sighs.  “That’s why you never called…”  Root doesn’t look over, but nods.

“Do you want to see my drawing?”

Root jumps up.  “Yeah!”

Sameen tears it out of her sketchbook and gives it to her.  It’s a drawing of Root sitting at the computer.  It's a profile picture and captures Root's sharp cheekbones and chin and the curve of her ear.  Sameen's been trying to draw Root as she thought she’d look for a long time, but now she knows.  “You can keep it.”  Root catches Sameen in a lopsided hug and squeezes while she laughs.  “Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

“I’m going to need an oxygen tank if you keep squeezing me like that,” Sameen grumbles.  “Sam, you made a joke!”  Sameen rolls her eyes and realizes she’s used to silence, but Root’s loud and constantly in motion and all over the place.  She sighs, but it’s more satisfied than annoyed.  Maybe she can draw Root in motion.  That’d be cool.

 

* * *

 

Sameen opens her eyes.  The room’s pitch black and quiet, but something woke her up.  She looks over and Root’s standing on the bottom bunk looking at Sameen through the slats.  “What are you doing Root?”

“Making sure you’re here.”

Sameen can’t express it like Root, but she knows what she means.  She feigns annoyance.  “Okay, come up.  But don’t wake me up in the morning!”  Root bounds up before Sameen can change her mind.  She makes sure to leave space between them; she knows Sameen doesn’t like too much touching, but she holds her hand. 

Sameen pretends to be asleep and lets her.  But Root knows she’s awake and Root’s heart’s beating so fast and loud, she thinks she might get sick.  She feels a light squeeze on her hand.  “It’s okay Root.  I’ll be here in the morning and so will you.” 


	21. Sameen Hates Shopping...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here, I think this will look good on you Sam.” Root hands her a sleeveless black shirt with a zipper front. The color reminds Sameen of the volcanic rock she saw the other day on the discovery channel, midnight deep and a touch sooty. It’s the softest material Sameen’s ever felt, like her worn pillow case. “Cool.” Mah smiles and adds the shirt to the pile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't consider this chapter and the last chapter "chapters" per se, just snippets. There'll still be one longer chapter taking them through the next jump.

Sameen decides to tag along shopping with Mah and Root even though she hates shopping.  As they’re trying on clothes, Mah realizes Root’s probably a good 20 pounds underweight for her height.  She adds taking Root to Sameen’s pediatrician to her list.  Maybe she should be taking supplements.

“Sam what do you think about this shirt?”  Sameen shrugs.  “It’s fine.”  Root frowns.  “You’re not even looking.”  Sameen sighs and looks.  “Root you look good in everything.  Just pick.”  Root’s cheeks are in danger of cracking, her smile’s so wide.  Sameen doesn’t seem to realize what she’s said and Root knows it, but it still makes her so happy she’s thinks she’s going to pop.

“Here, I think this will look good on you Sam.”  Root hands her a sleeveless black shirt with a zipper front.  The color reminds Sameen of the volcanic rock she saw the other day on the discovery channel, midnight deep and a touch sooty.  It’s the softest material Sameen’s ever felt, like her worn pillow case.  “Cool.”  Mah smiles and adds the shirt to the pile.

“Maman we’ve been shopping forever, I’m hungry.”

“Okay, let’s go to the food court and then to the computer store.”

“Maman we don’t need to go to the computer store.  I ordered one online and its coming on Monday.”  Mah stops walking and looks at Root in surprise.  She’s not sure what to ask first.  How, when, how’d you pay for it?  But Root anticipates her questions.  “I used Sameen’s computer yesterday.  I paid for it with the money Mary was getting for taking care of me.”

“She gave you the money?”  Bryer hadn’t mentioned it, which seems uncharacteristic of the narcissistic woman.  Root looks away with a worried frown, but the small smile on her face doesn’t completely fade.  “Not exactly.  I paid for it from her account.”  Well that answers one question.  Clearly Root’s computer skills have continued to grow.  Mah’s not sure whether to scold or praise her. 

On the one hand it’s not exactly right to go around stealing from other people, but on the other Mary was supposed to have been using the money for Root’s benefit and she didn’t.  She’d received over $50,000 in benefits over the last four years for taking care of Root and as far as Mah could tell, she hadn’t spent a dime of it on Root.  The hospital was covered by the state and Root’s meager belongings tell the tale of Mary’s lack of concern for her comfort or needs.  Not exactly a black or white ethical question.

“Okay nāzi, we’ll talk about it later.  What would you like for lunch?”

Sameen chooses Mexican in honor of Cinco de Mayo.  Mah and Abbas believe in celebrating all ethnic holidays.  America was built with immigrants from all over the world.  The diversity is something to be celebrated not feared.  Root demurs saying she’s not hungry, but Sameen expounds on the glory of quesadillas and Root agrees to a chicken one.  She doesn’t eat all of it but Sameen gets her to try her steak tacos and all in all Mah considers it progress on the Root food front.

 

* * *

 

Sameen throws herself on Root’s bunk.  “That was exhausting.”  Root sits next to her crossing her legs.  “It wasn’t that bad Sam.  You like your shirt don’t you?  And you got new sneakers plus your art supplies.” 

“It was still tiring.  The salespeople following us around like dogs sniffing for bones.  I’d rather buy my stuff online.”  Root smirks and it reminds Sameen about the computer.

“So how did you get the money for the computer anyway?”

“Mary’s not exactly the smartest bulb in the box.  I didn’t even have to hack it.  I guessed on the second try.  It was her cat’s name.”

“Won’t she notice the money’s missing?”

“It won’t matter because my name is on the account. It’s my money too.  In order to cash the checks from the state she had to open what they call a minor’s savings account.  She took me to the bank when I first went to live with her.  Besides, the money was supposed to be for my stuff and she kept it.  Who’s she going to complain to?”

“Why didn’t you take all of it?”

“Who says I didn’t?”

“Root!”

“I’m just kidding Sam.  I just paid for the computer.  It’s a Razor Blade and very expensive.  Maman told me we’d go shopping for a computer this weekend.  But I didn’t think maman and bâbâ should have to pay for it.  Wait ‘till you see all the cool stuff I can do.”

“Just don’t get us into trouble.”

Root quirks her lip.  “Of course not Sameen.  I’m too good to get caught.”

“So why didn’t you use the internet to reach us?”

The question catches Root off-guard and her voice carries a deep sadness; it makes Sameen's insides hurt.  “No internet and I didn’t have a computer when I was with Mary.  Then in the hospital there was no cellular service and no wi-fi.  The computer didn’t even have wi-fi capability.  So mostly I created games to play.  I also wrote some programs I’m not sure work, but I can try it with my new computer.”

“Like what?”

“You’ll see.”

Sameen looks away, staring at the ceiling.  “Can I ask you something Root?”

“Sure Sam, what?”

“Did they hurt you?  Did Mary hurt you?” she asks hesitatingly, her voice laced with dread.

“No Sam.  Mary just ignored me until she decided she didn’t want me and put me in the hospital.  The people in the hospital were nice to me.  At first they gave me some medicine that made me sleepy all the time and I felt kind of weird, but then Linda made them stop and I felt better.”  She shrugs her shoulders.  “It was better than…before.”

“Okay, well good.” Sameen mumbles.

“I just…I missed you Sameen.  Maman and bâbâ too, but especially you.  It hurt. But I knew I’d find you again,” she whispers fiercely.

They sit comfortably in the silence, each lost in their thoughts.  Then Root hears Sameen’s voice soft in the quiet surrounding them.  “I missed you too.”


	22. Without Root

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You hogged the covers Root. Next time you have to get your own blanket.” Sameen knows there’ll be a next time, just like Root knows. “Sharing’s good Sam. You’ll get used to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another little snippet...a little sad...

Uncharacteristically, Sameen wakes before Root the next morning.  Root’s on her side facing Sameen, her arms wrapped around her pillow.  There’s a small sliver of sunlight pouring through the window and Root’s almost glowing.  Sameen feels strange.  Like her ribs have shifted and she can breathe easily.  Root’s only been back two days and she’s already coloring Sameen’s world.  In the last few years everything seemed muted, unreal almost. 

In those first few weeks after Root…was taken…because that’s what it was to Sameen, someone took her friend, for a minute every morning she’d forget Root was gone and expect to see her as she climbed down from her bunk.  Then the empty bed reminded her and she felt the same way she did on ‘that day’; a feeling she didn’t have words to describe but it was the angriest she’d ever felt. 

It made her so angry she wanted to break things.  She was angry with Mah and Abbas; she couldn’t understand why they let that awful woman take Root.  She hated she wasn’t tall enough or strong enough to stop Root from being taken.  Maybe they should’ve run away until everyone forgot about taking Root and then they could’ve come back home. 

She waited for Root to call every day for weeks.  Everyday she’d ask Mah on the way back from school if Root had called until she finally stopped asking because it made her angry to hear the answer.  She knew Mah would tell her anyway.  When they’d tried to call in those first days, Mah said maybe Mary would call to give her their new number, but Sameen knew it wouldn’t happen.  Root was gone. 

Then for the longest time she was mad with Root.  Why didn’t she call?  Did she forget the number?  How could she forget?  Couldn’t she sneak to the phone in the middle of the night?  It wasn’t until a couple of years passed that she realized they were just little kids.  They were helpless against the adults separating them.  She knew if there was any way she could, Root would’ve called her. 

She picked a different tree to sit under during lunch; one that didn’t face their tree.  She even changed her desk at school.  Still in the back row, but on the far left next to the window.  After ‘the day’ she never went into the tree house again.  She refused to go to science club.  She never dressed up for Halloween.  She would’ve cancelled the holidays and her birthday but Mah and Abbas wouldn’t cooperate.  She refused to let Mah get her a new bed.  

She didn’t understand why but everything she’d done with Root needed to remain theirs.  The memories couldn’t be allowed to be glossed over with new ones.  She didn’t want to forget.  One day she was going to find Root.  She didn’t care how long it took; when she was old enough she was going to go looking. 

As she got older she started to understand certain things.  Adults would only tell you what they thought you should know.  They weren’t always right.  They couldn’t understand Sameen’s refusal to change things, to hold on to Root.  Mah and Abbas never told her she should move on, but she knew they worried. 

Anwen tried to get her to see it was okay to make new friends, but she didn’t need friends.  Maybe she didn’t even need Root, but she wanted her friendship regardless.  She didn’t have any friends before Root so there was no reason to have friends after her.  Her entire life was divided into before and after. 

So now Root’s back but in a way Sameen’s angry she’s come back.  She tries to push the feeling down because she doesn’t want to feel angry with Root.  But it’s like her returning opens up the possibility of her being taken again.  Sameen doesn’t know how to trust Root’s back for good.  She thinks there may be something the adults aren’t telling them. 

But then Root wakes up and smiles at her and her anger seems to leak out of her body.  “Hey Sam.”  

“You hogged the covers Root.  Next time you have to get your own blanket.”  Sameen knows there’ll be a next time, just like Root knows.  “Sharing’s good Sam.  You’ll get used to it.” 

Sameen rolls her eyes and hops over the side to the floor and heads to the bathroom.  A few minutes later she’s back.  “I’m hungry.  Maman’s probably making breakfast.”  It takes a few seconds for Root to realize Sameen’s waiting for her.  She scrambles down; she knows how grumpy Sameen gets when she’s hungry.


	23. Losing Sameen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m home and I’m never going to let anyone take me from Sameen ever again. We’re friends and we need to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another snippet...Root's this time. Root's memories are in first person because she's more in touch with her feelings whereas Sameen needs to separate herself from emotions so she can process them. I know its a little sad, but just remember they're back together now.

I can’t stop crying and I’m so tired.  Mary says I’ll like California, but I know I won’t like anywhere away from Sameen.  I never knew I could have a friend until Sameen.  I never knew someone could like me.  I never knew parents could be so nice like maman and Abbas.  They never hurt me.  I wish they’d let me stay with my mother; then at least I’d be with Sameen.  I don’t care about the punishments if I can be friends with Sameen.

I ask Mary to let me call Sameen as soon as I get inside her house, but she tells me I can call tomorrow because it’s too late now.  The house smells funny and it’s hot and the carpet’s dirty. 

I wait until she’s asleep and take her cell phone from where it’s charging and I call.  I know maman won’t care how late it is.  But someone strange answers the phone.  I get scared thinking I forgot the number, but then I remember Sameen wrote it for me on a paper too.  It’s in my bag.  I left it in the living room.  But the paper’s not in my bag.  It’s not in my clothes or the pockets of the clothes I was wearing on the plane.  How could I lose the paper?!  I don’t think I did.  I think Mary found it and threw it away.  I check the garbage but I don’t find it.  I cry myself to sleep on the strange bed that’s been shoved into what Mary calls her office.

In the morning I ask Mary to call maman.  She says yes and asks me for the number.  She calls but of course it’s not the right number.  But I know, I know she must have the number.  She smiles in a weird way and tells me maman will probably call me and then I can get the right number.  She puts a cereal box and bowl on the table and tells me to eat breakfast.  But I’m not hungry.

I ask her every day for weeks if maman’s called.  But she tells me no.  She tells me they’ve probably already forgotten me and I should forget them.  But I know it’s not true.  Sameen has not forgotten me.  Neither has maman or even Abbas.  I know it.

I ask her about school.  If I go to school maybe someone there can help me.  But she tells me there’s no point going to school since the year’s almost over and that she’ll register me for next year.  She takes me to a building she says is called a bank and gives information to a nice lady and then we go back to her house.

I still keep asking every day if Sameen or maman call.  I can tell she doesn’t like me asking, but I don’t care.  She doesn’t have a computer or the internet and her cell is a flip phone so I can’t try to use it to find Sameen.  I know where Abbas works.  I can look up the number and call him and then he can tell Sameen to call me.  I know all about caller ID.  I’ve been using my mother’s phone since I was four.  I just need the internet.

I don’t know anyone here and I don’t know how to get to the library.  At home I would sneak to the library and one time someone asked me where my mom was and I told them she was sitting on a bench waiting for me outside.  Since I’m tall they think I’m older and they don’t bother me.

Mary tells me to get in the car.  I ask her where are we going but she doesn’t answer.  We get to a big building and I’m not sure what it is.  Mary tells me it’s a hospital, where sick people go to get better.  I get a bad feeling in my stomach. A man I’ve never seen before is waiting for us.  Then we go see another man and they tell me I’m staying there for a little while.  I tell them I’m not sick but they don’t listen.

They take me to a room and they lock the door so I can’t get out.  At least I have my bag.  I always carry it with me.  It has Bear and the picture Sameen drew for me.  Sameen told me if I had Bear she would find me.  She told me she would always find me.

I stay in the hospital and I go to school.  There are other kids and I talk to them, but no one is like Sameen.  When I talk about her they look at me funny.  But I talk about her every day because I am not going to forget her.  I know one day I will see her again.  She’ll find me or I’ll find her.

They say I’m better and Mary comes to pick me up.  But a few days later she takes me back.  I like it better in the hospital.  At least people talk to me and I have books and I can play on a computer even if it doesn’t have the internet.  It happens one more time and then the same man comes and they tell me I’m going to stay longer.  I don’t care because it doesn’t matter where I am, Sameen will find me.

This time they give me medicine they say will make me feel better.  I tell them I’m not sick but they don’t listen.  The medicine makes me feel sleepy and like everything is slow.  Linda comes every day and she’s nice to me.  She gives me hugs and tells me everything will be okay.  I talk to her about Sameen and she doesn’t look at me funny.  She tells me I don’t need the medicine and little by little I take less and then I’m not taking any and I feel better.

Time passes but its okay.  I think about Sameen and what she’s doing and I know she hasn’t forgotten me.  When I turn 12 they’ll let me go to the library.  Then I can use the computer and find Sameen and maman and Abbas.  It’s only two more years.  It’s already been four, so two more isn’t so bad.

I sleep with Bear every night and I tell him about my day.  I have Sameen’s drawing on the wall above my bed and I hope she’s still drawing.  When I see her again I’ll ask her to draw something else for me.  A drawing of me and her.

I write computer programs and test them.  The games work, but I think about a lot of other computer programs but I can’t test them because I need the internet.  When I get out of here Mary’s going to be sorry she ever took me from Sameen.

We did everything right and it still didn’t save me.  I think sometimes you need to do bad things to get a good thing.  When I find Sameen again I’m going to make sure no one can take me away again.  I think I have to protect myself because adults don’t really care what kids think.  They don’t listen.  Some are good but most are bad.  The doctors here are mostly bad.

But Linda and the other nurses are good.  Linda tells me every day I’m good and she loves me.  But I don’t really understand love.  I like Linda but I can tell I don’t feel for her what she calls love.  Maybe it’s what I feel for Sameen and maman and Abbas.  They like me the way I am.  I think they’re perfect. 

Sameen is extra perfect.  She doesn’t pretend or say one thing but then do another.  Like my mother would do.  She’d say she loved me but then she’d hurt me.  Maybe that’s why I don’t understand love.  Adults lie all the time.  Sameen never lies.

I wake up because someone’s touching me.  I open my eyes and its maman.  I knew they would find me!  I ask her if we’re going home and she tells me yes and she calls me nāzi and I know I’m going to see Sameen soon.

We fly on a plane and take a car home to maman and Abbas’ house.  To Sameen’s house.  I see her sitting on the porch and I run out of the car.  I stop in front of her and I’m worried because maybe she doesn’t like me anymore.  But she says hi and her eyes are smiling even if her mouth isn’t.  Then I know she missed me too and she still likes me.  I hug her hard and she lets me.  She tells me I still have my bed but I can’t sleep with her, but I know she’ll let me.  I’m home and I’m never going to let anyone take me from Sameen ever again.  We’re friends and we need to be together.                  


	24. Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sameen gets home, Root’s waiting on the porch. “Come on Sameen, you need to see our new room.”
> 
> “Okay you can let go of my hand now,” she grumbles. But she follows Root good-naturedly. “See Sam our desks are in the other room and we can do our homework and stuff and you can draw and I can code on my computer. Isn’t it great?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be another snippet but then the ideas just kept coming and following each other and next thing I know its 4,500 words of...well...stuff.  
>  __  
>  _Thanks for all your encouragement and support. You guys are the best!_  
> 

When Root and Sameen get to the kitchen Abbas is making apple pancakes while Mah fries the bacon and squeezes the oranges for juice.  “Good morning girls, how’d you sleep” Mah asks with a warm smile for them both.

“Good maman,” says Root, while simultaneously Sameen reports, “Root stole the covers.”  Abbas chuckles and Mah shakes her head with a smile.  “Nāzi, is there anything special you’d like to do today?”  Root cocks her head thoughtfully.  “Can we go to the park?  They only let us outside once a day and there was nothing to play with really, just grass.”

Mah and Abbas discussed it last night and they decided whenever Root told them anything about the hospital they would not make a big deal about it, but acknowledge it so Root feels validated in her feelings.  But before they can say anything Sameen looks at Root.  “I would’ve hated that.  We can go to the park whenever you want now.”  Root looks adoringly at Sameen and the moment passes.  Mah and Abbas look at each other, but it seems Sameen intuitively knows what Root needs.

“Azizam set the table please.  Root you can bring the juice glasses.”  They settle down to eat and Root looks at her plate in surprise.  “These have apples!”  Abbas quirks his lips with a sly smile.  “I thought you might like them.  My mother used to make them all the time.”  Root nods her head excitedly as she takes her first bite.  “These are really good.  Thank you bâbâ.”

“You’re very welcome Root.”  Sameen’s too busy stuffing her face to say anything but she nods in the universal sign of ‘it’s very good.’ 

“Root, you’re not eating your bacon,” Sameen points out.  “I’m too full.  You can have it.”  Sameen shrugs her shoulders and takes the two strips, putting one in her mouth and the other on her plate.  Mah notes Root’s only eaten one pancake, but she did drink her juice and milk.  Mah wonders what they fed Root in the hospital, but doesn’t ask.

Maybe when she’s home with Root tomorrow while Abbas’ at work and Sameen’s at school, they can talk a little more about how Root’s feeling now that she’s back with them.  It’s a drastic change and although Root’s brilliant, emotionally she’s still a child.  Mah’s sure she’s confused and maybe a little overwhelmed.  It’s going to take time, but there’s so much love in her family she’s sure they’ll help Root through the transition just fine.

“Can we take our bikes?” Sameen asks once she’s finished her breakfast and Root’s second pancake.  “Of course azizam.”  Root looks a little worried.  “I don’t know how to ride a bike.” 

“I’ll teach you,” Sameen asserts.  Root sits back in her chair, a contented look on her face.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, first you have to balance Root.  I’m going to hold the bike so you don’t fall.  Don’t pedal, just practice balancing while I push you.”  Sameen exhibits tremendous patience with Root’s flailing limbs.  Abbas adjusted the seat on the bike, but it’s one of Sameen’s old ones and it’s not very tall.  Root’s kicked Sameen accidentally a few times already.  On the bright side, she can reach the ground easily as she gets used to the seat.

“Okay, I think you’re ready.  I’m going to let go and run right behind you in case you start to fall.”  Root doesn’t look nearly as convinced as Sameen, but she nods okay.  She needs a little push getting started and Sameen holds the bike a few feet before she lets go.  Root swerves widely from one side to the other but she’s managing to stay seated and pedaling, while Sameen jogs behind her ready to catch her when she falls.  Sameen knows Root’s going to fall.  It’ll take more practice, but you have to start somewhere.  She’s wearing a helmet and pads, so she won’t get hurt.  At least not too much.

What Sameen couldn’t have anticipated is the jogger coming towards them from the side path looking at her phone and not paying attention.  Before Sameen can stop Root or say anything the jogger crashes into Root and she starts to fall sideways.  Grabbing the bike won’t accomplish anything so instead Sameen lunges and slides under Root just as she hits the ground.

Sameen gets the wind knocked out of her and Root’s trying to get off her, but the bikes on top of them and the jogger’s half on the bike, her momentum carrying her into Root when they collided.  Mah and Abbas were watching from a bench and they run over.  Abbas helps the jogger, while Mah lifts the bike.  Root scrabbles off Sameen.

“Sam, Sam, are you okay?”  Her voice sounds a little panicked and Mah reassures her.  “Its okay nāzi, she just got the wind knocked out of her.  Just give her a minute." Sameen finally catches her breath and stands up.  She glares at the jogger who’s limping to a bench with Abbas’ help.  “Are you okay?” She asks as she runs her eyes over Root’s body checking for herself Root wasn’t injured.

“Yes Sam.  How did you end up under me?  I didn’t see you and then I landed on you.”  Sameen shrugs her shoulders.  “I told you I wouldn’t let you fall.  Landing’s not the same as falling,” she smirks.  “I don’t think I can ride a bike,” Root decides.  Sameen scowls at her.  “It wasn’t your fault.  That lady wasn’t watching where she was going.”  She shoots another glare at the jogger.  “It was an accident Sameen,” Mah admonishes her.  “People should look where they’re going,” Sameen huffs.

They decide to stop today’s bike riding lesson and head to the other side of the park.  Sameen climbs the jungle gym like…well…a monkey and Root tries the actual monkey bars.  Sameen climbs down and watches her for a minute, realizing Root doesn’t have to jump up or climb the step to reach the first bar because she’s so tall.  She does have to bend her knees so her feet don’t drag and she only makes it half-way across before her arms hurt.  Sameen doesn’t have that problem, but she’s annoyed she has to jump up. 

They spend some time on the swings and Sameen shows Root how to jump off at the apex of the upswing.  They compete to see who can land out the furthest.  Root should have an advantage because of her height, but she saw the look on Sameen’s face at the monkey bars and she doesn’t want her friend upset so she keeps jumping off to soon, letting Sameen win.

Root thinks it’s the best day ever and she’s happy and exhausted when they get home.  Sameen’s hungry.  They take baths and Sameen agrees to watch Princess Bride again.  “We’re not going to watch this everyday Root so pay attention.”  Root wiggles on the couch to get comfortable and just nods with a smile.

 

* * *

 

Its 9:30 and Mah sends the girls to get ready for bed.  Sameen thinks she’s too old for a bedtime, but Mah knows if she doesn’t enforce it Sameen will stay up ‘til all hours watching television or playing on her iPod.  Sameen almost told her once she takes her iPod to bed with her anyway, but realized it might be better to keep that tidbit to herself.

Sameen sees Root’s hesitation as she climbs onto her bunk.  She knows Root wants to sleep with her, but she’s not sure why.  “Root, are you afraid?”  Root crosses her legs and hugs her pillow.  “No, but I keep waking up and I forget where I am and I think it was just a dream that I’m here.  So I’ve been getting up to check.”

Sameen sighs.  “It’s only been two nights.  I think it won’t keep happening.”  Root nods miserably when Sameen turns away and climbs up to her bed. 

Sameen wakes up when she hears Root whimpering in her sleep.  She’s saying something but Sameen can’t make it out.  She wonders whether she should wake Root up.  She waits for a few minutes to see if Root settles down.  But it seems to be getting worse and she can tell Root’s thrashing.  She jumps down and lands on Root’s bunk.

Root shoots up and looks around with a terrified look on her face.  “Sameen…what…”

“You were dreaming.”

Root takes a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heartbeat.  “I was having a nightmare.”  Sameen doesn’t ask, but there’s an understanding look on her face and Root feels safe.  “I dreamt I was in the hospital and Linda told me maman came to pick me up, but I couldn’t find her and I just kept going around the floor passing the same rooms in a circle.”

Sameen doesn’t know what to say, so she stands on Root’s bed and grabs her pillow and blanket.  “Scoot over and leave my blanket alone,” she admonishes as she settles in next to Root.

 

* * *

 

“Azizam why are you getting dressed in the kitchen?”

When Sameen got up for school Root was still sleeping and she didn’t want to wake her up.  Root woke up a couple of more times during the night and Sameen suspects she spent a lot of the night awake.  “Root’s sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her up.”

“You know you’re going to have to get up for school every day.  Are you planning to dress in the kitchen from now on?”  Sameen sighs.  It feels wrong to tell maman about Root’s dreams, but she’s not sure what to do about them and she’s worried about Root.  “Maman Root’s having nightmares.  She dreams you came to get her but she can’t find you.  She wakes up scared.”  Sameen finds she feels a little relieved she told maman and then looks at her with a ‘how’re you going to fix this?’ look.

“Were you able to sleep?”

“I’m fine maman.  We need to help Root.”

Mah’s concerned Sameen may be ignoring her own feelings because she’s worried about Root and she wants to make sure they’re _both_ okay.  “Azizam, it may take a little while before Root stops having nightmares.  She went through a lot.  I’ll talk to Anwen and see what she thinks can help.  Okay?  Don’t worry we’ll figure it out.”  Sameen doesn’t say anything else. 

Mah fixes her breakfast and Sameen heads out to school.  She’s been walking to school on her own for a couple of years now.  She refused to let Mah keep walking her when she was 8 and Abbas’ agreed she was old enough.  It’s only a few blocks and they live in a safe neighborhood.  Sameen’s also able to defend herself more than the average child.

Mah explains to Abbas about Root’s nightmares.  Abbas decides he’ll take the day off and spend it with Root so Mah can meet with Anwen and talk to the school and in general take care of things they need to do for Root.  “I’ll take her to get a bike of her own and then we can go to the park and practice.  We’ll go to lunch and maybe to the computer museum again.  Don’t worry Mah, we’ll be fine.  We’ll be back before Sameen gets home from school.”  Root seems a little hesitant but once Abbas reassures they’ll be home before Sameen, she goes along happily.

 

* * *

 

Since Anwen never sees patients on Monday, Mah calls her and she comes over for coffee.  “Mah, nightmares are actually more common in 6-10 year olds.  Older kids incorporate real-life fears into their dreams, like someone breaking into the house, mostly stemming from what they see on television.  So when the child wakes up you can reassure them nothing like that’s going to happen.  ‘I can imagine that would be really scary, but there's no bad guy in your room.’

But Root’s dreams of being taken away from you and ending up locked in the hospital with no way out actually happened.  It’s probably not going to help to reassure her she’s home now because someone took her away and in her mind there’s nothing stopping that from happening again.  It’s actually a disadvantage Root’s brilliant.  She doesn’t trust adults and platitudes are not going to help.”

Mah sighs.  “Who can blame her?  First her mother betrayed her trust by being abusive, then we let her be taken from us, and then her aunt abandoned her in that hospital.”

Anwen wants to give Mah hope Root will get better but she doesn’t want to set up unrealistic expectations.  “I think we need to start working with Root so she understands the circumstances of what happened, that your family did everything in its power to stop it, and why it won’t happen again.  You can bring her in once a week and I’ll start slowly chipping away at her fears.  But I won’t lie; it’s going to be a lengthy and complicated process.  You may have to help her through these nightmares whenever she wakes up for a while.”

Mah shakes her head.  “That’s the other problem.  Abbas and I can’t hear Root from our room.  Sameen’s been the one waking up with her, listening to her fears, and reassuring her.  We can’t expect her to take on that role.  She’s a kid herself, and even just from a physical standpoint she needs her rest to be able to handle school and other aspects of her life.  It’s one thing for me to lose sleep.  I can nap during the day.  But at her age Sameen’s mind is still developing and she has to get up and function.”

Anwen really wants to help Root _and_ the family deal with a difficult situation.  “What about giving Root her own room?  You can easily convert the guestroom for her use.  It’s right next to your room.  Sameen will be able to sleep and you’ll be able to help Root when she wakes up from her nightmares.”

Mah agrees it’s a good idea.  She moves things around in the guestroom during the day.  Root’s computer arrives and Mah realizes she’ll need a desk so she can do homework and use her pc.  She goes to a local office supply store and buys a small desk that’ll work in the room and still give Root space.  She pays extra so they’ll assemble it; she doesn’t want to take up time doing it herself.

When Root and Abbas get home, everything’s ready.  Mah tells her now she’ll have her own room.  Root looks around and thanks Mah.  Her lips are smiling but it doesn’t reach her eyes.  Sameen must have told Mah about the nightmares and that she doesn’t want to share a room with Root anymore.  She sits down at her new desk to set up her computer. 

 

* * *

 

Root doesn’t leave her room even when Sameen gets home.  Mah tells Sameen about the change and Sameen decides it’s the dumbest idea she’s ever heard.  But she can’t think of how to articulate why.  She just knows it’s not a good idea and it’s not what Root needs.  She goes upstairs and stands in the doorway watching Root on her computer, but she seems engrossed and doesn’t look up, so Sameen walks away after a minute.  The second Sameen’s out of sight Root looks up and her eyes water.

Dinner’s mostly a quiet affair with Abbas telling Mah and Sameen about his day with Root.  Root doesn’t have much to add to Abbas’ story and pushes her food around her plate.  Mah figures Root’s tired from not sleeping and Abbas told her they had a good lunch so Mah doesn’t push the issue of eating.  Sameen glances at Root periodically, but Root never meets her eyes.  After dinner Root says she’s tired and goes upstairs to her room and shuts the door.  Sameen stands outside her door, but she can’t think of what to say so she doesn’t knock.

She does her homework and then grabs her sketchpad.  This morning Root was going down the staircase, Sameen behind her.  Root turned her head at one point to say something with a smile on her face, while still walking down the stairs.  Sameen thinks maybe she can draw that moment and somehow convey the motion, the energy radiating from Root, the smile Sameen thinks Root reserves for her.

Mah comes in to say goodnight and tells Sameen to get ready for bed.  Sameen thinks she’ll run into Root in the hallway or the bathroom, but she doesn’t.  The door to Root’s room is open a crack, but the lights are off so Sameen scraps her plan to go in and say goodnight. 

Sameen tries to fall asleep but she’s tossing and turning.  She decides to work on her sketch.  She opens her blinds and the only light is the moonlight filtering in the window.  She sits on the floor by the door so she can hear if Root wakes up.  A long time later, she’s not sure how much later, she hears Root start to mumble the same way her dream started last night.  Sameen has thought long and hard what to do if Root has another nightmare.

This time she doesn’t wait for Root to start thrashing.  She climbs in beside her and lies down facing her.  She takes Root’s hands in hers and she whispers.  “It’s okay Root.  I’m right here.  You’re not in the hospital.  It’s okay.”  Root doesn’t wake but Sameen sees her chest stop heaving and she stops mumbling.  She meant to go back to her bed but she must’ve fallen asleep.  When she wakes, Root’s looking at her.

“Why are you here?”

“You were dreaming again,” Sameen answers, figuring that explains everything.  Isn’t that the way friendship works?  Your friend needs you so you protect them.  Sameen spent four years working hard at the dojo so she can protect the people important to her.  She's never going to let anyone take someone from her again.  Now she does the protecting.

“But you don't want me in your room anymore so why are you in mine?”

Sameen scowls.  “What are you talking about Root?”

“You told maman about the dreams and she gave me my own room.  I know you don’t want me waking you up.  I understand,” she whispers, but she’s not looking at Sameen.

Sameen feels her spine stiffen and her face feels hot.  She knew this wasn’t a good idea and now Root thinks it's _her_ idea.  She thinks about explaining to Root, but she doubts Root will believe her.  The only one who can fix this is maman and Sameen’s going to make sure it gets fixed.

When Mah checks to make sure Sameen’s up for school, she finds Sameen getting dressed but her arms are stiff and she seems to be jerking her clothes on.  “Azizam, what’s wrong?”  Sameen doesn’t answer her because she hasn’t figured out exactly what to say and she doesn’t want Root hearing her anyway.

Mah follows her into the kitchen and watches Sameen grab a yogurt and shut the door sharply.  She stands there staring at the refrigerator door making no move to open the yogurt or reach for a spoon.  “Sameen don’t you want breakfast?”  Sameen doesn’t look up.  “I’m not hungry.”  Mah knows Sameen’s always hungry even if she’s angry.  Mah’s not stupid or oblivious so she figures it has something to do with Root and the new room, but she can’t for the life of her figure out what could’ve gone wrong.

“Sameen I understand you’re angry, but I’m not sure why.  Can you tell me?”

Sameen wants to storm off to school and say nothing, but then things won’t get fixed.  So she takes a deep breath.  “You made Root think I didn’t want her in my room anymore.”

“Oh Sameen, I’m sorry.  Root misunderstood.  Is she upset?”

Sameen glares at maman and she knows she’s being borderline disrespectful and maman won’t tolerate it.  That’s a transgression that causes her to lose a day at the dojo.  But she can’t help it.  She’s biting her words out but really she wants to scream and break something.

“She’s mad at _me_!” She hisses. 

“Sameen we’ll figure this out but you need to calm down.  Sit down and I’ll make you breakfast and we’ll talk.”  Mah’s tone tells Sameen loud and clear she better do as she told, so Sameen slouches onto a chair.  Mah knows Sameen finds it easier to talk when she’s eating.  She makes her oatmeal with brown sugar and bananas and Sameen reluctantly starts to eat.

“Okay azizam, let’s start over.  What happened?”

“Root started to have another dream last night.”  Mah wonders why she didn’t hear Root and how Sameen did since her room is much further down the hall.  “I heard her. Then this morning when I woke up she asked me why I was in her room when I didn’t want her in mine.”  Mah feels like Sameen’s skipped a few steps.

“Did you sleep in Root’s room Sameen?  Did she wake up when she was having the dream?”  Sameen sighs deeply.  She thinks maman’s focusing on the unimportant and rather obvious, to her mind, details.  “I lied down next to her and I talked to her but she didn’t wake up and then the dream stopped.  I fell asleep."  Mah waits but clearly Sameen feels Mah now has all the relevant information.  “What did you say when you talked to her?”

“I told her it was okay and she wasn’t in the hospital.”  Sameen skips over the part where she reassured Root Sameen was there.  She doesn’t understand why but she doesn’t want to tell maman.  It feels like its private.  “How did you know the dream stopped?”

“Because last time she started kicking her legs and moving around and her voice got louder.  This time she calmed down, I saw her chest stop moving so hard, and she just mumbled and then kept sleeping.”

“Sameen do you want to keep sharing your room with Root?”

“She needs me.”  To Sameen it’s all that matters.  “Well what do you think we should do?”

“Put two normal beds in my room.”

“So you want to get rid of the bunk beds?

“Yes.”  Now that Root’s back Sameen doesn’t feel the need to preserve everything.  “But Sameen you need your rest.  Why do you think the two beds will solve the problem?”

“If she wakes up she can see I’m there.  If I hear her start dreaming I can stop it and go right back to sleep.”  Mah knows this is a dilemma not easily resolved.  Whatever Sameen did last night to earn the bags under her eyes tells Mah she’s not going to be deterred from doing what she thinks is right.  She’ll keep doing it.  Part of her is so very proud of Sameen for standing up for what she believes.  But the other part worries the right thing for Root may not be the right thing for Sameen.  “Okay azizam.  I’ll talk to Root today and we’ll figure something else out.  Okay?”  Sameen finds she’s not so angry anymore.  But things better be fixed when she gets home from school or she’ll just be angry all over again.  “Okay.”  By the time Sameen finishes her breakfast Mah feels Sameen’s regained her equilibrium and okay.  Now she needs to do the same for Root.

Mah finds Root in her room on her computer.  Mah realizes they’re going to have to set some boundaries as to how much time Root can spend at the computer every day.  “Good morning nāzi.  Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes maman.  I didn’t have any nightmares.”  Root’s hoping if the nightmares stop she can share Sameen’s room again.  Mah realizes whatever Sameen did helped Root not remember any bad dreams.  “Nāzi I think you misunderstood why Abbas and I gave you your own room.  It wasn’t Sameen’s idea.  She told me about the nightmares because she's worried about you.  She never said you bothered her and she didn’t ask for you to get your own room.  I wanted you closer so I can hear you when you have nightmares and come help you.”  The look on Root’s face is equal parts doubtful and hopeful, but she doesn’t say anything.  She’s happy Sameen doesn’t mind sharing her room but she still _has_ her own room.  “Do you remember dreaming last night?”

“I didn’t have a nightmare last night.”

“You started to and Sameen heard you.  That’s why she came to your room.  Do you remember her talking to you?”  Root nods her head no, now utterly confused.

“It’s okay nāzi.  Sameen wants to get rid of the bunk beds and put two beds in her room.  Is that what you want?”  Root’s smile splits her face wide open and she nods so enthusiastically she probably gives herself whiplash.  “Okay.  We’ll go to the store today and you can help me change things around.  But the beds may not come for a few days.”  Root spent a long time waiting to come home, a few days won’t be a problem now that she knows Sameen still wants to share her room.  “Thank you maman.”

“You’re welcome nāzi.  I want you to know if you’re upset about something or you don’t like something you can talk to me and we can try to fix it, okay?  We’re a family and sometimes things upset us but we talk about them and make things better.  I’m sorry I upset you.”  Mah gives her a long hug and Root too seems to regain her equilibrium.

Mah and Root go to the furniture store and it turns out they have same-day delivery and they’ll take the old beds away.  Root has the idea of putting Sameen’s desk into the other room with hers so they can do their homework and stuff.  Root doesn’t want to choose between being with Sameen and her computer.

When Sameen gets home, Root’s waiting on the porch.  “Come on Sameen, you need to see our new room.”

“Okay you can let go of my hand now,” she grumbles.  But she follows Root good-naturedly.  “See Sam our desks are in the other room and we can do our homework and stuff and you can draw and I can code on my computer.  Isn’t it great?!”

Sameen notices their beds are only separated by the small nightstand.  They can practically hold hands.  _Not_ that Sameen wants to hold hands.  But at least she can be close when Root has bad dreams and protect her.  Which is all Sameen wanted in the first place.


	25. It's A Matter of Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He seems nice and like he’s listening, but he’s a doctor and Root knows they can’t be trusted no matter how nice they seem. But she’s trying to learn to trust Mah and if he’s been Sameen’s doctor her whole life, he must be okay. Sameen wouldn’t put up with him otherwise and she trusts Sameen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay let's call it another snippet. I've realized I don't want to gloss over Root's return so the time jump will come just a little later. There's a lot to work through for everyone. No one's going to forget this time in their lives and I can see referring back to events and relating them to the plot line in the future.
> 
> NOTE: Please don't get used to this pace of updating. I _really really really _need to finish Shaw's Army and I'm determined to work on it tomorrow. Plus I do have an actual job and a wife who may be consulting divorce lawyers as I write this. Or putting out a missing person's report. Either one's likely. Even my dog comes to fetch me so he can go to bed. (He's very attached so he sits in the office with me, but his bed in the bedroom's more comfortable.)__
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> _Thanks for all your support! It has been inspiring._  
>   
> 
> __  
> _As usual insert the usual proofreading disclaimer. It's 2:15am today as I post this. Although I'm wired for sound. Writing sometimes does that to me._  
> 

Sameen comes down for breakfast in the morning and looks well-rested.  “Good morning azizam.  Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes maman.”  She doesn’t elaborate and Mah doesn’t want to make a big deal about Root’s nightmares.  Sameen doesn’t want any more drama, so unless there’s a real big problem her and Root can handle the stupid dreams. 

Sameen tries not to think about things she knows will make her angry.  Especially things she can’t do anything about.  But every time she thinks about Root’s aunt a rush of heat runs through her body and she doesn’t know what to do with it.  She wants to run fast and scream until it’s gone.  She practices her breathing like she learned at the dojo until she feels better.  But when Root wakes up in the middle of the night, Sameen can’t help but think it’s all Mary’s fault Root’s having nightmares.  Last night Root started murmuring again, but Sameen reached out and touched her arm and rubbed circles until Root settled down again.  Maman used to do it for Sameen when she was sick and Sameen remembers it felt soothing and made her sleepy.  It worked last night and Root didn’t wake up at all.  But she is _not_ telling Root what she did.

When Mah goes up a little while later to check on Root her bed is empty and she’s at her computer.  “Good morning nāzi, have you been up a long time?”

“I got up when Sameen left.”

“Did she wake you?”

“No, I just felt…I’m not sure how to explain it maman.  I just knew she wasn’t there so I got up.”  Mah smiles softly.  “Let’s get you some breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry.”  Mah pauses but she knows they can’t keep skirting the issue.  “Nāzi you’re still growing and you need to eat so your body and your brain can have the fuel they need.  So here’s what we’re going to do.  Before you sit at your computer in the morning you have to come down and have breakfast.  We’ll try a few different things until we figure out what you like.”

“But maman I can’t help it if I don’t feel hungry.  It’s hard to eat when you’re not hungry.”

“I know it is nāzi.  When I’m not hungry I don’t want to eat either.  But it’s what your body needs.  It doesn’t have to be a huge breakfast.  You can have fruit and maybe yogurt or sometimes a one-egg omelet or toast.  We’ll work on it together.  This is something you don’t have a choice about.”  Root seems resigned to the idea and heads to the kitchen.

After breakfast Root goes back to her computer.  It draws Root like a magnet.  Mah’s not going to let her spend every day all day on the computer, but she realizes Root had limited access over the last few years and it’s a large part of her identity.  So she’ll be lenient for a few more days and then they’ll set parameters.

 

* * *

 

Goosebumps spring up on Root’s arms when they walk into the waiting room of the doctor’s office.  She can hear the hum of the a/c and sees the condensation collecting on the vents on the wall.  She feels her teeth grinding and she stands stock still.  Things get a little fuzzy and then maman’s holding her shoulder and helping her to the couch.

Concern laces Mah’s voice.  “Root, are you okay?”

“I think I…froze.”

Mah’s relieved Root seems to have snapped out of it, but she’s still concerned.  “Do you know why?”

“It used to happen to me at the hospital.  When I tried to tell the doctors I wasn’t sick and I didn’t need medicine they ignored me and told me I was sick and just didn’t know it.  I was afraid they would convince me.  So I just…learned to tune them out; I didn’t look or listen.  I just stood still as a stone until they stopped talking.”

“Does the office remind you of the hospital?”

“Yeah.  It smells strong like they tried to clean but you can still smell the cleaner and the door locks and you can’t get out until it buzzes.”  Mah realizes Root saw someone coming out of the door leading to the patient rooms and heard the buzzer when the receptionist released the lock on the door, which triggered the automatic response.  “That makes perfect sense Root.  I know it’s hard for you to trust me, but I am not leaving you here for any reason.  We’re here for an annual check-up.  They will take blood, which will pinch a little or maybe a lot because it depends on the tech.”

“I know.”

Of course she does.  What’s Mah thinking?  Mah realizes the problem is what she’s _not_ thinking.  If Root’s going to learn to trust her, Mah needs to always remember to tell her the truth.  Mah’s never lied to her but Root needs the unvarnished truth, not euphemisms or sugar coating.  “Do you have any questions Root?”

“Why do I need a check-up?”

“All kids need annual check-ups to make sure they’re developing appropriately for their age.  We’re here today because I want to make sure the medicines they gave you at the hospital aren’t still impacting you in some way.  I am also concerned about your weight.  Not because of how you look but because it’s not healthy if you’re not getting the calories your body needs.

While we’re talking to the doctor and he’s conducting your exam, ask all the questions you want and if you’re not comfortable with something then let us know.  I will listen to you and I’ll make sure he does too.”  Some of the tension bleeds out of Root’s body at Mah’s words but she’s still leery.

“Root this is Dr. Karev.  He’s been Sameen’s doctor since she was born.”  Root studies him closely but doesn’t say anything.  Karev has a talent for talking to kids and he’s perceptive.  “Hi Root.  Before we do your exam I have a few questions for you.  Why don’t we all sit down?  Tell me how you've been feeling Root.”

“Okay.” 

Karev smiles knowingly.  “I need to know more.”  It’s obvious Root’s underweight so he tailors his questions appropriately.  “Do you feel energetic most of the time or are you tired a lot?  Or anything else that doesn’t feel right to you?”  He waits patiently.

He seems nice and like he’s listening, but he’s a doctor and Root knows they can’t be trusted no matter how nice they seem.  But she’s trying to learn to trust maman and if he’s been Sameen’s doctor her whole life, he must be okay.  Sameen wouldn’t put up with him otherwise and she trusts Sameen.  “Sometimes I can’t sleep.  I stay awake all night until I crash the next day.  Then I sleep for a long time.  I don’t feel hungry so it’s hard to eat.”

Karev looks at her thoughtfully.  “Do you have trouble sleeping a lot or only occasionally?”  He’s picked up Root’s a smart kid, so he talks to her like an adult.  “It happens a lot.”

“Okay, let’s see if we can figure out why.”  Karev takes all his own vitals and not with machines.  He’s not a technophobe but he trusts himself to pick up things the machines may overlook.  He runs through the regular check-up, ear, nose, throat, reflexes, which he notes are wickedly fast for a kid.  Everything’s normal.

“Root, do you mind if I talk to your mom alone for a minute?”  Before Root can answer Mah responds with a resounding no.  “Alex, Root has a very justified distrust of medical professionals and doctors in particular.  She needs to be a part of any conversation.”  Mah doesn’t move.  He looks at her for a minute and then nods his head.

“Okay.  Root, everything is normal with your examination except your weight.  We will take blood and run tests to make sure everything else is okay or so we can identify any problems and address them appropriately.  Any questions so far?”  Root shakes her head.  “The problems you’ve described can all be caused or worsened by your nutrition.”

“I have nightmares.”  Mah gives him a concise explanation of Root’s history only conveying what may be relevant to Root’s health issues.  To his credit he doesn’t look shocked, just thoughtful.  “Okay.  Considering you just got out of the hospital after a long, bad stay, the nightmares are your mind’s way of processing your experiences; so I’m not worried.  Even so, better nutrition can help with those too. 

There are also other things that can help your body prepare for sleep.  I suspect you’re not going to like what I’m going to say next, but all electronics should be turned off at least an hour before you go to bed, preferably two.  That means TV, iPads, computers.”  He’s right Root hates that one.

“Figure out what you find relaxing, it’s different for everyone.  Taking a bath before bed, breathing meditations, or even hot chocolate.  As long as you find it relaxing, and it’s not electronic,” he adds before she gets any ideas, “then do it.”

“To help with your lack of appetite, I’d like to prescribe periactin, along with a vitamin supplement.”  This time its Root’s voice resounding in the small exam room.  “No.  I’m not taking any medicines.”  She looks at maman worriedly.  What if she puts it in Root’s food without her knowing?  Alex tries to persuade her gently.  “Root, it’s only for a short time until we get your weight up a little.”  Root shakes her head emphatically.

“Alex, forget about prescriptions or supplements.  What can we do naturally to help Root increase her weight?  And I don’t mean ‘natural’ like melatonin.”  Root’s not going to take any pill voluntarily and Mah’s not going to force her or give it to her without her knowing.

Alex looks at Root.  “You need to make an effort to start eating three small meals a day and a couple of snacks in between.  This will speed up your metabolism.  I’ll give you a list of foods that are nutrient rich.  It doesn’t mean you can’t eat other foods you like, just that those foods have higher nutrients than others.  You also need to get plenty of exercise.  Riding your bike, walking, dancing or anything else you like that makes you move.  I can’t guarantee it will resolve the issue entirely but it’s certainly possible.  So long as you implement these changes and stick to them you’ll see improvement in a short time.  I have no doubt you can do it Root.  Do you have any other questions?”

“When will we get the test results?”

“In three to four days.  If everything’s normal I’ll let Mah know.  If there’s a problem we’ll make another appointment to talk about it and decide what to do.  I give you my word, Root.  No one’s going to hide anything from you.”

 

* * *

 

Sameen greets Mah when she gets home from school, but goes upstairs to see Root.  She knows she’ll find her in front of the computer.  “Hey Root.”  Root grins.  “Hi Sam.  Do you want to take a walk with me?”  Sameen’s getting used to Root’s random questions, usually without preamble (which Sameen prefers), so she doesn’t ask why.  “Why don’t we go bike riding?  Bâbâ says you did much better on Monday.  Plus now you have a bike that fits you.  It’ll be easier.”  Root looks uncertain, but she thinks it’d be cool if she could go bike riding with Sameen.  Without serious bodily harm preferably.  “Will you catch me if I fall?”

Sameen rolls her eyes.  “I won’t let you fall Root.”


	26. Hacking/Cracking 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She passes the test with flying colors and Ms. Rodgers approves her for fifth grade in the fall with Sameen. Mah assured Root they’d be in the same class. Root guesses she used her ‘trauma’ to ensure Rodgers’ cooperation, but Root would’ve taken care of it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another snippet, probably a couple more 'till they'll be ready for the jump.
> 
> NOTE: All the software, hardware, and technology I mention exists. But I took great liberties with describing how Root's using it and what she can do with it.

On Wednesday Root gets up with Sameen.  She’s making sure she starts eating and hopes it will help because she’s not ever taking any medicine again; might as well have breakfast with her best friend.  Sameen’s not very talkative in the morning, but Root doesn’t mind. 

Sameen pulls out a popsicle from the freezer, which puzzles Root.  “Sam you’re going to have ice-cream for breakfast?”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  “It’s yogurt with fruit.  Mah makes them.”  She studies the one in her hand.  “These have apple and pears.  Do you want one?”  Root loves apples and likes pears so she figures she’ll give it a try.  “Sure.”  Sameen hands her one.

“I’m going to make peanut butter toast.  You want a slice?”

“I’ve never had peanut butter.”

“Okay I’ll make two slices. If you don’t like it, I’ll eat it.”  Root finds she likes peanut butter and eats half a slice.  Sameen finishes the rest.

“Thanks Sam.”  Sameen nods as she picks up her backpack.  “See you later.”

Mah comes in just as Sameen’s leaving.  Before she asks, Root reports her breakfast.  “I had a popsicle and half a slice of peanut butter toast maman.  It was pretty good.  I didn’t know I liked peanut butter, but Sam let me try it.”  Mah smiles.  Root starts to leave the kitchen but Mah calls her back.

“Root, later today we’re going to the school to talk with Ms. Rodgers and you’re going to take a standard test.  It will consist of three parts, math, reading and some science.  I want to make sure you can start fifth grade with Sameen in the fall.  I’m not worried about the test and you shouldn’t be either.  If you need extra work to make sure you’re ready for the fall, I’ll work with you at home.”

“Okay maman." Root’s not worried about the test, but for different reasons than Mah.  Although her computer’s a Razor Blade she ordered it from a custom computer company and its further ‘enhanced’ with software like Hydra, Nmap, OWASP, and others.  It also underwent several hardware improvements giving her the maximum processing speed, internal memory, and the strongest motherboard available.

Root learned a lot more about coding and hacking from magazines over the last four years; one of the only silver linings to the cloud that was her life.  A lot of the coding she was able to test and improve so dramatically they didn’t resemble the original programs, but others required internet access.  She’d been testing those out since Monday.

She’s using several proxies across the world, then bouncing to a virtual private network, and then using the tor browser.  She’s also booting from a live thumb drive and using a wi-fi signal originating over five miles away.  Someone went to a lot of trouble to set up access points to cover such a range; they had to use either telephone or light poles but that’s a mystery for another day.

She doubts the school board employs a skilled IT person to run their network or high-end hardware.  She’s going with a brute force attack first to crack the password giving her root access; if it takes too long she’ll just hack the system.  As it turns out, the administrator password for the network is only five letters and one number, admin1.  Ridiculous; she could’ve guessed it in two tries.  It took all of 45 seconds to crack it.  She quickly navigates the system, finds the test, and reviews it and exits.  She doesn’t download or save it and resets the access date.  It wasn’t even worth the trouble.  The test is absurdly simple.  But Root’s never leaving her fate in the hands of anyone else ever again.

 

* * *

 

She passes the test with flying colors and Ms. Rodgers approves her for fifth grade in the fall with Sameen.  Mah assured Root they’d be in the same class.  Root guesses she used her ‘trauma’ to ensure Rodgers’ cooperation, but Root would’ve taken care of it anyway.

 

* * *

 

She hears Sameen come home from school and closes out her Linux box.  Sameen’s not as clueless as she pretends about computers; she’s just not interested.  If she asks, Root will tell her the truth, but why poke the bear?  It already feels a little like lying by not telling her what she’s up to, but she doesn’t want to put Sameen in the position of choosing loyalty to Root or Mah’s idea of the right thing.

Sameen pokes her head in after she changes.  “Bike ride?”

“Absolutely.”   


	27. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But if Root really believes Sameen moved on without her, then she doesn’t know Sameen at all anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another snippet. No sugar-coating it. A lot of angst.

When Sameen looks for Root Friday after school she’s not at her computer.  She’s not anywhere in the house or the backyard.  Mah’s in the shower but Sameen barges in without knocking.  Her tone is flat and she’s speaking slowly. 

“Maman where’s Root?”

“Sameen Shaw what I have I told you about knocking?!”

“I’m sorry maman but I need to find Root.”  Now she’s speaking a little louder with emphasis on _find_.  “It’s okay Sameen.  She went for a bike ride.  I’m sure she’ll be back soon.”

“Alone?  She went on a bike ride alone?”  If Sameen didn’t feel an urgency to go after her she would take the time to tell Mah Root shouldn’t go anywhere alone.  What if those crazy lunatics, her aunt or worse, her mom, take her?  “I’m going to find her.”  Sameen takes off before Mah can say another word.

Mah’s been wondering if Sameen is internalizing her feelings about Root’s return.  She knows she has them, but if anything, Sameen accepted Root into her life and family seamlessly.  She's starting to express herself again with Root around and she smiles more often.  But they all lived through the last four years and none of them escaped unscathed.  They were all traumatized in different ways.  Now she knows.  Sameen fears someone will take Root from her again.

Before Sameen realizes it, she’s ridden their normal route and hasn’t seen Root.  Where could she be?  Sameen can’t catch her breath and she knows it’s not the exercise; there’s a roaring in her ears, but not like when she’s angry.  It’s something else.  It’s fear.  But Sameen is not afraid of anything.

She forces herself to stop and think.  If Root’s okay, where would she go? 

There’s a park nearby.  It can hardly be called that really; it’s only large enough for a couple of swings and a basketball court, but Root likes the swings.  She says it calms her when she’s feeling out of sorts.  That’s how Root describes it.  To Sameen it seems like Root goes away sometimes, even when she’s looking right at Sameen.  It doesn’t last long, but afterwards Root always wants to move.  Almost like she needs to feel she’s still connected physically to something, a tether to anchor her.  Sameen checks the park.  But Root’s not there either.

Sameen wracks her brain, but it’s useless.  She needs to go home so they can call the police and everyone can start looking for Root.  She can’t waste anymore time.  She’s older and stronger now.  She’s not letting Root go.  She won’t accept anything less than Root’s safe return.  Now.  Not a day from now.  Or when some judge or doctor says she can come home.

Sameen understands her fear now.  She failed to protect Root.  Again. 

Sameen’s racing home but remembers there’s one place she hasn’t looked.  The school.  But why would Root go there?  Why didn’t they cross paths?  Sameen just came from there.  But then Sameen remembers she went to the locker room after her last class.  She’d seen signs about try-outs for next year’s volleyball team and there was an informational meeting.  She was about 30 minutes late coming home.  She’d told Mah she’d be late but never mentioned it to Root.

She finds her under the tree where they used to eat their lunch when they were five.  Sameen starts breathing again and walks over slowly.  Root seems…defeated and her greeting isn’t given in her usual perky and annoying and smiling way; it’s a thread above a whisper and flat.  Sameen feels something clenching in her stomach, probably cramps from riding her bike too fast.

“What are you doing here Root?”

“You were late.  I was worried, so I came to look for you.”

“Why didn’t you just ask maman?”

“She was on the phone with Anwen and you know they always talk forever; I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“So why didn’t you go back home when you couldn’t find me?”

“I did find you.  I saw you with your friends.  It made me feel…unnecessary.  I know life went on without me and you made new friends, but I guess I was just holding on to a childish wish that everything would be the same between us.  That we’d be best friends and only I could make you laugh and only I knew the real you and you were mine and I was yours and we’d be a team.  Us against them.”

Sameen doesn’t even know where to start.  She doesn’t have the words for this and now that she knows Root’s safe, she’s angry.  Angry Root hid from her.  Angry at herself for being afraid.  But most of all she feels hatred for the people responsible for separating them.

But if Root really believes Sameen moved on without her, then she doesn’t know Sameen at all anyway.

“Come on.”  They pedal home silently.  Sameen retreats to their bedroom and Root to her computer.  Mah can tell from both their faces they’re upset.  She wasn’t worried because they weren’t gone long and Sameen’s been riding in the neighborhood for years.  But obviously something happened.  Maybe they just need some time to process their feelings; although that might be awhile for Sameen.

 

* * *

 

Dinner’s a silent affair and Mah can’t coax even Root into conversation.  So an intervention of some sort is required.  “Azizam please throw out the trash.  Your father forgot and the truck comes tomorrow.”  Sameen doesn’t answer but does as she’s told without complaint.  Root’s already upstairs when Sameen comes inside.  “Sameen come sit with me a minute.”  Sameen looks like a cornered wolf, but she knows there’s no way to dissuade Mah when she decides they need a ‘talk.’

“I don’t know what happened but it’s obvious both of you are upset.  Knowing you two, I’m certain it was a misunderstanding of some sort because neither one of you would hurt the other knowingly.  Root always seems to know what you’re thinking or mean to say or feel.  But even Root can’t read your mind azizam. Maybe this time you need to reach out a little.  I know Root will talk to you if you give her a chance.”  Sameen sighs.  “May I be excused?”  It’s definitely time for Mah to make appointments for all of them with Anwen.  She’ll do it first thing tomorrow.

Root’s at her computer and Sameen decides to take a shower.  She tries to read, but after a half hour she realizes she’s just staring at her kindle.  Intellectually she knows Root misunderstood what she saw and if Sameen could just tell her, they could fix this entire problem.  But it wouldn’t change the fact Root still believed she’d left her behind. 

Ironically she didn’t even know those girls.  They were just at the informational meeting too and they’d been joking around while Sameen walked next to them; she wasn’t even smiling. 

Sameen didn’t replace Root while she was gone.  No one will ever replace Root in her life.

Sure she talks to people; she’s not autistic and she’s pretty sure the school would be on the phone to Mah ‘worried’ about her anti-social behavior if she played mute.  Root doesn’t expect her never to talk to anyone else right?

Then it occurs to Sameen maybe this isn't about her at all.  Maybe this is about Root's feelings.  

 

* * *

 

Root goes to bed after her shower.  Sameen thinks she’s about to say something but Root just turns off the lamp and crawls into bed with a muttered good night.  It’s a long time before either of them falls asleep.

Root dreams she came back from the hospital and Sameen didn’t remember her.  Neither did Mah and Abbas, so she had to go back to her aunt which meant back to the hospital.  She wakes up sweating and shaking.  “Sameen.”

“It’s okay Root.  I’m here.”  Sameen’s holding her hand, but Root lets go when she realizes it.  Sameen wonders when Root decided she didn’t need to hold her hand anymore.  “Thanks Sam.  I’m okay now.”  Root turns on her stomach and Sameen feels dismissed.  How did things slip away from her so fast?  How did Root? 

 

* * *

 

Root wakes in the morning and wonders if she should skip breakfast, but that will just create a problem with Mah.  Sameen must be downstairs because the bathroom door is open.  But when she goes downstairs Sameen’s already left for school.  Probably meeting someone she thinks.  She grabs an apple.  It’ll just have to do for breakfast today.  If she tries to eat anything else she’ll probably throw up. 

She doesn’t even feel like turning on her computer.  So she turns on the TV and stares at the screen, wondering if Sameen will even want her to live here anymore.  For the first time Root tells herself she needs to get a grip.  Sameen’s treated her great since she came back.  She must still care about Root even if she’s not as important anymore.  Or maybe Sameen is just doing the right thing; helping Root settle in the first days of her return.  That’s something Sameen would do.

Finally she decides to sit at her computer.  It’s all she has now.  Oh she knows Sameen will talk to her again and maybe even spend time with her, but it won’t be the same anymore.  Root might as well get used to it.  There’s something on her chair.  She almost sits on it. 

It’s a sketch of her and Sameen sitting under their tree at school but not as kids; as they are now.  Her first day home Root asked Sameen to draw a picture of the two of them.  There’s a post-it note too.  ‘Absolutely nothing has changed.’  Just like that Root’s world rights itself.

When Sameen gets home from school Root’s waiting on the porch.  She flings herself at Sameen and Sameen wraps her arms around her to keep from falling.  “I’m sorry Sam.”  Sameen sighs.  She unwraps her arms but leaves her hands lightly at Root’s waist for a couple of seconds.  “Don’t be stupid.”  Root knows in Sameen speak it means ‘us against them.’    


	28. Anwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In a way we’re still impotent. How can we make Root feel safe when we failed her before miserably? Who’s going to erase the memories of her pain? Who’s going to give her back her life? The one she was meant to live with us?””
> 
> “Me.” Sameen answers authoritatively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I cried while writing this chapter. If you've gotten to here you know there has been plenty of angst along the way. In my opinion this chapter tops them all. Just remember before you start planning creative ways to make me suffer, they are together and they will stay together.
> 
> Honestly, I have no clue how I ended up with this chapter. I was planning a therapy chapter like Mah said, but mostly just intending for Root to be reassured and Sameen to understand Root didn't mean to hurt her. But we ended up here. Sometimes I wonder if I have a muse or a laughing devil on my shoulder.
> 
> On a lighter note, I wonder what Root will do when she figures out Mary extorted her family?

Anwen

 

Anwen finishes jotting in her calendar the appointments for her friend with a sigh.  Not because she doesn’t want to see the family, but because she’s personally invested in the outcome.  She’s always concerned about her patients but these four are special; she’s involved in a personal way.  Perhaps she shouldn’t be seeing them at all in this context, but her connection with the family will be crucial to the therapy; especially with Root, who distrusts any medical professional and justifiable so.  The sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains taunts her with the very real possibility of failure as she considers the best approach.  

 

* * *

 

Sameen

 

Sameen sits on the end of the couch, her spine ramrod-straight, feeling awkward, as far away from Anwen as possible.  She doesn’t say anything.  But her body language paints her emotions on the wall like violent colors dripping and merging until you can’t tell one from the other. 

She doesn’t look at Anwen, instead staring at the box of tissues on her desk.  They piss her off; sitting there all perky and within reach in case she feels the need to burst into tears.  Right.  Unless there’s a portal transporting her to an alternate universe, she _won’t_ need those. Sameen sighs internally; maybe she should stop watching reruns of The Twilight Zone.

Anwen considered the best approach to take with Sameen before this session…and came up with nothing.  Usually she’d ask a non-threatening question and allow the silence to build until the patient starts talking to fill it.  Most people are compelled to talk, feeling uncomfortable in the quiet within a conversation.  She knows Sameen though.  They’ll both sit there for an hour in stillness.  Until she thinks of the one person that might garner Sameen’s cooperation; Root.

“Sameen, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be here.  But you know me, and I’m just trying to help your family, and especially Root, adjust to all the complex emotions resulting from her coming home.  I’m not taking notes and I won’t tell anyone, including Root or your parents what we discuss.  We’re just talking so I can have as much information to help Root overcome her anxiety and fears.”  Anwen’s not lying.  This is primarily about Root, but to help her she has to help all of them.

“You can tell Root.  Otherwise how am I going to help her?  What would be the point?”  It’s a huge concession; not the telling Root part, but her tacit agreement to talk at all.  There are things Sameen would like to tell Root and she’s trusting Anwen to be the conduit since she feels unable to do it.

Sameen’s agrees to talk much like a criminal deciding to confess.  Reluctantly and because they feel they have no other option.  “I’m not good at talking to people.  They misunderstand and get their feelings hurt.”  She sits back and waits.

“I get that but you won’t have that trouble with me and I promise not to get my feelings hurt.  I may misunderstand, but I’ll keep it in mind so we make sure we’re on the same page.”

Sameen scrutinizes Anwen and concludes she’s probably an honest person.  “So what do you want to know?”

Anwen decides to go with specific questions.  Asking Sameen how she feels will only make her defensive and she’s not going to answer anyway.  But it seems she’s willing to answer anything that will help Root.

“I know you and Root had a misunderstanding but not the details.  Tell me what happened.”

“She jumped to conclusions.  But we took care of it. She understands now, so why do we have to talk about it?”

“Because she might jump to conclusions again in the future and we’d like to prevent it if we can.  Which conclusion did she jump to?”

“She thought she wasn’t my best friend anymore.”

“Sameen I don’t want to ask you a lot of questions, but I need to know the specifics if I’m to understand."

Sameen takes a deep breath to muster her patience.  This ‘talk’ is so against her nature.  But it’s for Root and she doesn’t want anymore stupid stuff to happen, so she’ll do it.  “I got home after school and she wasn’t there.  Maman said she went for a bike ride and would be back soon.  I went to look for her. I searched a few places and finally found her at the school sitting under a tree.  The one we used to sit under before they took her.”  Sameen’s choice of words are already illuminating, but Anwen doesn’t interrupt.

“She said a bunch of stuff.  She saw me with a group of people and thought I had replaced her.”

“What did you think when she told you?” Anwen specifically stays away from the words feel and feeling.

“I thought about how angry I was.”

“Just to clarify, you were angry at Root or was there something else you were angry at too?”

Sameen feels a hot wire spiraling up her spine, which means she’s about to be really angry and Anwen’s going to have a front row seat.  But she takes a few deep breaths and pushes it down; reminding herself this is to help Root.  “I was angry at Root, myself, and really angry at the idiots who took her away.”

“So let’s take it one at a time.  You were angry at Root because she jumped to a wrong conclusion.  Were you mad at her for any other reason?”  Sameen looks at her suspiciously because it seems they’re drifting into her side of the pond, but decides to ignore it for now.

“I was angry because what she did made me think they had taken her again.”

“This is one of those times where we’re not on the same page.  I know I’m missing something.  What did Root do specifically that led you to believe she had been taken?”  Anwen can guess but it’s important it comes from Sameen.

“She went out by herself and she went to some place I would never think of looking!  I couldn’t find her!”  Anwen lets that answer linger between them for a moment.

“But you did think of it right?  Because you found her.  Or did I misunderstand?”  Sameen realizes if she wants out of this room, and she wants it desperately, she’s just going to have to tell this woman the whole story.  Of course she can walk out and no one will make her come back, but it’d disappoint her parents, and more importantly, hurt Root.

“Look I’m just going to tell you the whole story.  Ask your questions at the end, but I hope you won’t have any,” she says with an intimidating look.  Sameen is going to be a woman to be reckoned with; she’s already a child who challenges everything and everyone.

“I was late coming home from school because I went to a meeting for volleyball.  Maman knew, but I forgot to tell Root.  She got worried and went to school to find me.  She saw me with the other people from the meeting and she thought those were my new friends.  So she hid and didn’t tell me she was there.”

“What do you think Root was feeling that caused her to hide?”

“She told me.  Unnecessary.”

“That’s the result, but why do you think she felt that way?”

“I don’t know…maybe she was jealous or insecure.  _Anyway._   

I go home and maman tells me she went for a bike ride.  It’s not safe for her to go out alone.  She should only ever be alone with me and/or my parents.  So I went to look for her because if something happened, who would protect her? 

I looked along our route, we’ve been taking bike rides after school, and then the park, Root likes the swings there, but she wasn’t there.  I thought I was afraid but I’m never afraid.  I headed home to call the police and have everyone look for her but then I thought about the school and went there.

She said hi, but not normal, and I asked her why she was there.  She got worried so she came to look for me.  Oh, and part of this is your fault.  Root didn’t ask maman about where I was because she was on the phone with _you_ and you and maman always talk _forever_ ,” she says with a frustrated exclamation and furrowed eyebrows.  “I ask why she didn’t go back home when she didn’t find me. 

But then she says she _did_ find me and hid because she saw me…I already told you who with and why…and she felt unnecessary!  Then she went on about how life, she meant my life not general life, went on without her, and that she realized she was being childish for thinking things would be the same and we weren’t a team anymore. 

I already told you I’m not good at the talking stuff so I didn’t say anything about it.  Then we went home and she wouldn’t talk to me and when she had a nightmare she wouldn’t hold my hand.  Oh and maman had a talk with me before after dinner about reaching out a little.  Root had asked me to draw a picture of the two of us so I drew us under our tree and put a post-it note.  I’d rather not say but I know you’re going to ask because of what she did after, so I’m going to tell you but do not ask me what I meant or felt or anything else.  It said ‘absolutely nothing has changed’ and I underlined the first two words. 

When I came home she threw herself at me and hugged me but she almost knocked me down so I had to hug her for a second and she said she was sorry and I told her not to be stupid.”

Sameen sighs like someone who’d been trapped but now is free.  She doesn’t think she’s ever talked so much in her entire life, even if you took everything she’d ever said from birth this was probably more.  But when she’s done she feels less weird than when she started but for the life of her can’t figure out why; must be because now she can get out of here.  She should’ve known it wasn’t over.

There are so many things to work through and to help Sameen understand, but Anwen can tell Sameen’s reaching the limit and about to shut down so she decides just to deal with the specifics of the incident.

“Thank you Sameen this will be extremely helpful.  Let me just make sure of a couple of things.  I give you my word we’ll be done soon.”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  Sure.  Like that’ll happen.

“So you and Root were worried about one another and went to try to find each other?”

Sameen just nods yes.  This woman is unstoppable; might as well go with the flow.  But she is never coming back here again.  Unless Root needs her.  Then she'll come but she _won't_ like it.

“You were worried because you think it’s possible someone might take her again and you weren’t there to protect Root.”

“Not someone.  I’m not paranoid.  But her aunt and mother are still out there somewhere and whatever paper maman got can’t stop them from taking her.  I don’t care what it says.”

“You’re right. A paper won’t stop them.  But that’ll be true for a few more years at least.  Do you think it’s possible to never have a time when Root is alone or with people other than your family for such a long time?”

“Probably not,” Sameen hedges.

“Do you think there’s anything that might make you think Root doesn’t need your protection _all_ the time?”  Anwen wants to say it’s not Sameen’s job to protect Root, but at this point it would be counter-productive.

Sameen thinks about it because she never wants to _think_ she’s feeling afraid again.  “I’m a second dan black belt now.  Maybe I could teach her some moves.  But she’s pretty uncoordinated.”

“I’m sure you’ll choose appropriate skills she’ll be able to master.”

“Yeah…I guess I can.”

“Why do you think Root jumped to the wrong conclusion?”

“I don’t know.  Ask her!”

“I will, but maybe seeing it from your perspective will help her understand why she jumped to the wrong conclusion.  It doesn’t sound like you gave her any reason for it.”

“Exactly!  Everything she said is in her head, not mine.”  Anwen’s ecstatic Sameen answered this way.

“So what she said seems to be more about her feelings then your actions?”

“When you put it that way, yeah.”  Sameen sounds relieved and she’s certainly more relaxed than when they started.  “Are we done?”

“Yes Sameen, we’re done.”

 

* * *

 

Root 

 

Root walks in and slouches on the couch, immediately grabbing a throw pillow and squeezing it on her lap.  She looks around, taking in the room, and lingers briefly on the artwork on the wall.  It’s actually a painting; not like the pictures hanging on the wall of every other doctor’s office she’s ever seen.  Anwen knows from talking to Root and spending time with her that’ll she open up more easily than Sameen.  But first she has to decide to trust Anwen and Anwen needs to remember Root shuts down at the slightest sign of condescending.

“Hi Root.  Do you have any questions for me?”

Root shrugs.  “No.  You seemed nice the times you’ve been at the house.  Sameen spoke to you for more than an hour and she says I can trust you.  I trust Sameen.”

“I’m going to make sure I don’t do anything to violate your trust.  I want to make sure you know you can interrupt, tell me you don’t want to talk about something, or leave if want.”  Anwen specifically chose to see Root as her last patient of the day because she had some ideas about making everything seem less threatening from Root’s perspective.  There’s no one else in the inner office area and she left the door open.  Mah’s in the waiting room just a few steps away so Root can feel comfortable no one’s going to leave her here.

Root doesn’t wait for Anwen.  “Why am I here?”

Anwen recognizes the test implicit in the question.  “Your family wants to help you feel their love and try to figure out everything they can do to make you feel safe.”  It’s more honest than Root expected and she starts to think maybe she can open up.

“Are you going to try to get me to take medicine?”

“Absolutely not.  I’m going to try to help you and your family, not drug you to try and fix things.  Root, I can’t begin to understand everything you been through in your life.  There’s no excuse.  You were betrayed by people who were supposed to protect you.”

“Except Sameen.  She protected me in all the ways she could, even when we were 5.”  Anwen notes she doesn’t mention Mah or Abbas and there might be some buried resentment that Root isn’t even aware of.  But that’s an issue for another day.

“I agree.  Except Sameen.  Would you like to talk about her?”

Root knows Sameen told Anwen she could tell Root anything she said and she wonders if Anwen intends to honor Sameen’s wishes.  “What did Sameen say about what happened?”

“She said a lot.  I’ll skip the actual actions since we’re all pretty clear what happened just not why and what feelings led to such a misunderstanding.”  Anwen’s about to continue but Root interrupts with another question.  “Sameen thinks everything she said was to help me doesn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that a lie?”

“No.  Every single thing she said can help you.  I firmly believe that during out conversation she understood I was also trying to help her.  But Sameen’s very strong and she finds it hard to ask for or accept help and she doesn’t want anyone pointing it out either.”

“That’s true.  Okay what did she say?”

“Okay let’s start when she came home from school that day.  Now please understand I’m not repeating Sameen’s exact words, I didn’t take notes or record anything, just like I’m not doing any of those things now.”  Root looks at her like ‘do you think I’m stupid?’  Mistake one.  Anwen knows she won’t be allowed another.  The explanation _was_ condescending.

“She couldn’t believe Mah let you go out alone because it was possible you’d be taken again and she wouldn’t be there to protect you.  But she didn’t waste time explaining it to Mah and immediately went to look for you.”

She wonders if Root’s ready to start opening up, but she hesitates because she doesn’t want to come across as overbearing.  “You can ask whatever you want,” Root comments perceptively.  Anwen suddenly grasps that Root is not only brilliant but also extremely adept at reading people.

“What do you think Sameen was feeling?  It’s not a trick question.  Sameen says she was angry and maybe afraid although ultimately she concluded she was mistaken about being afraid.”

“Helpless.  She couldn’t control the situation.  Angry at everyone involved.  Maman let me go, I went, and Sameen was forced to confront a similar lack of control when I was taken."  Both Sameen and Root refer to her aunt’s actions as a taking; probably because it happened against both _their_ wills.

“I agree.  But what do you think fueled her reaction?”

“You’re asking why Sameen cares in the first place.”

“Yes.”

“Sameen always does the right thing.  She’s decided that means she has to protect me at all costs.  Failing to protect me would mean she failed her mission.  I know what you’re looking for Anwen.  You want me to say Sameen loves me, but I’m not sure that’s true.  Or at least it doesn’t mean to her what it means when other people refer to loving someone in their family.  She doesn’t want touchy-feely conversations or hugs or any obligation that may come with being someone’s family.  She struggles enough dealing with maman and Abbas and now me.”

“That’s fair.  Let’s focus for a minute on how she treats you.  She’s your protector, whether she feels it’s ‘the right thing’ or not, she assigned herself that role.  She doesn’t like touching but she allows you to hug her and hold her hand, and when she realized you were hurt about the bedroom situation, she demanded Mah fix it and in the process make sure you knew it wasn’t her idea and, in fact, she thought it was the dumbest idea she ever heard and not what you needed and _expressed_ it.  Does it matter if it doesn’t fit into society’s definition of love or family if it’s so obvious its Sameen’s way of showing it?”

“No.  I wouldn’t change a single thing about her.  I just didn’t want to say I know she loves me and have you think I was projecting my feelings onto her.  There’s nothing wrong with the way Sameen expresses ‘love;’ it’s honest and immutable and authentic.”

Somewhere in this short conversation Anwen’s started to feel Root’s playing rope-a-dope and winning.  It’s not going to be easy to get Root to confront her own feelings as opposed to Sameen’s.  Peas in a pod indeed.  In some ways Sameen understands her feelings better than Root understands her own.

“Root, in order for me to treat you with the respect and honesty you deserve you know I’m going to say upsetting things.  I just ask that you try to work through it with me instead of stonewalling.”  Root starts to maybe develop a little trust of her own with Anwen.  She’s not like any other shrink she’s met and that numbers so high she lost count.

“I’m not the type of doctor who thinks everything is rooted in the past or even if it is, that examining it will be at all beneficial to the patient.  But the way you’re all relating to each other is exactly because of the taking.  So bear with me.

How did you and Sameen become friends?”

“I sat next to her the first day in school and kept bugging her until we were friends.”

But that’s a deflection and Anwen’s beginning to understand how to talk to Root.  “Even at 5 if Sameen didn’t want to be your friend she’d let you know in no uncertain terms.  So what did she do that made you believe you were friends?”

“I was hurt because she asked me why my shirt had holes.  We were outside and I went to sit somewhere else.  She came over and told me it was okay to be different and that she was different too.”  Root can’t help tears threatening to spill. 

“She sat with me until lunchtime was over even though I wouldn’t talk to her.  That afternoon she started walking me to the bus.  At first I thought it was her way of saying I’m sorry because I was hurt.  But she did it every day until I went to stay with them and we started walking to school together.  Before that she made maman take her to school earlier so she could meet me at the bus too.  The next day she started bringing me lunch and she never forgot I only liked red apples so she always had one for me.  I know maman technically got them for me, but she wouldn’t have known if Sameen didn’t notice.  But I knew without doubt the day she sent maman to see if I was okay because I missed school two days in a row.  Never to this day has she ever pointed out any of these things or made me feel pitied or like I owed her something.  To her, I deserved them.  End of story.” 

As Root’s been talking the tears have been winning the battle and now she just lets herself sob and grabs for a tissue.  Root rarely cries and absolutely never in front of someone else because its broadcasts you’re weak and easy prey.  Anwen doesn’t try to soothe her with platitudes; she sits quietly, an understanding look on her face until Root composes herself. 

“How has Sameen treated you since you’ve been back?”

“Like I belong,” Root whispers.  “The first day she drew me when I was sitting at the computer and gave it to me.  She picked a silly movie because she thought I’d like it.  She grumpily let me sleep in her bed when I needed it.  She made an effort to reassure me with words even though she wasn’t sure they were the right ones; but they were.  I didn’t know it then but Abbas says she sat on the porch to wait the minute she knew I was coming back.  She waited over three hours on the porch.

She went shopping with maman and me even though she hates shopping.”  Anwen watches as a beautiful smile dawns on Root’s lips.  “She told me I looked good in everything.  I know she didn’t realize what it meant to me, but she wasn’t saying it to please me, she said it because she believes it.  She never pushes me to talk and the only question she’s ever asked is if they hurt me.  She told me she missed me one night. 

When I do mention something about the hospital she’s always the first to say something that makes me feel better.  She doesn’t patronize me and it’s not something that’s rote.  But she _says_ it when she knows I need to hear it. 

She taught me how to ride a bike, well with Abbas help, but she wanted to be able to ride with me.  She takes care of me when I have nightmares.  Even the one night we had separate rooms she stayed awake so she could hear me if I started to dream, even though I was mad at her and hadn’t talked to her all day. If I get up with her she gets me breakfast and encourages me to eat without making me feel weird that I don’t eat as much as other people.”  She falls quiet and Anwen feels it’s the right time to remind her.

“Now there’s portrait with written assurance.  She’s certainly shown you she loves you and considers you part of the family; with her words, her actions, and her art, which Mah tells me she rarely shares even with them.”

Root smiles knowingly her face still red and a little damp from the tears.  “I guess Sameen was right; I was stupid.”  But Anwen interjects firmly.

“No and I think you know what Sameen meant.”  Root shrugs her shoulders just like a chastised child.  “I know.  In her own reassuring way she meant it was ridiculous to think anything had changed.  I get what you’re trying to show me, but sometimes I don’t feel it.”

“Why do you think that is Root?”

Root looks down and answers softly, “Because I don’t think I deserve to be happy or loved.”  Anwen wants Root to walk away with the belief she’s wrong, but that’s not going to be accomplished overnight.  “Well Root I think we’ve established without a doubt Sameen disagrees.”

 

* * *

 

Mah and Abbas

 

This time the girls are in the waiting room while Anwen talks to Mah and Abbas.  “Well we already knew the girls are amazing.  They share a unique and special connection.  Excuse the absence of professional jargon, but those two just get each other. They’re both going to be fine; they’re so concerned one for the other they’re willing to step outside their comfort zone to make the other one feel okay.

But I do have one question for the two of you.  Have you ever regretted making Root a part of your family?” 

“No,” they announce in tandem.  “Why, does Root think we did?” Mah asks, deeply concerned.  “No. No.  I’m sorry; I put the cart before the horse.

While building rapport I expressed to Root there was no doubt she was betrayed by people who were supposed to protect her.  She immediately interjected wanting to make sure I did not include Sameen in that category.  Her words which verbatim were ‘She protected me in all the ways she could, even when we were 5.’  It stuck with me.  Of course, I wasn’t thinking of Sameen when I said it, because it wasn’t Sameen’s job to protect Root.  I meant her mother and aunt and all the medical professionals who continued to perpetuate the injustice done to her.

We didn’t discuss it further only because Root knows it’s not Sameen’s job to protect her, nor does she expect it; but she knows Sameen sees herself as such and considers it her mission to protect Root.  But my point is Root may have some suppressed resentment against the two of you because you didn’t prevent her being taken, which is how they both view what happened.  Someone took Root against Root and Sameen’s will.”

Mah sighs.  “I’m not surprised and we don’t blame her for feeling that way.  Abbas and I blame ourselves too.  Intellectually of course we know we did everything in our power to fight for Root.  But we were impotent to protect her.  She believed in us and in the end it didn’t change a single thing. 

In my mind I pictured Root growing up; every birthday, every holiday, even taking Sameen to school I wished she was here and wondered where she was, hoping against hope she was okay.  Every time we hired a new investigator to search for her and they’d call with an update we hoped it would be with news they found her.  Not once in four years did I not think of Root and wish she were home with us. 

Even now that we finally brought her home, we blame ourselves for not figuring it out sooner.  If you’d never made the suggestion we probably wouldn’t even be having this conversation.  It never occurred to us to ask Harold for help.  Maybe we could’ve brought her home a lot sooner.  If we’d known all it would take was a bribe to that horrid woman to keep Root with us, we would’ve paid every penny back then. 

From the minute I brought Root home to ‘stay’ for a couple of nights, we fell in love with that little girl.  Even before, when I saw how much Sameen cared for her…she was so proud to have a friend who understood her, who accepted her unconditionally, and in fact preferred her way of making sense of the world, I loved her.

In a way we’re still impotent.  How can we make Root feel safe when we failed her before miserably?  Who’s going to erase the memories of her pain?  Who’s going to give her back her life?  The one she was meant to live with us?””

“Me.” Sameen answers authoritatively.

The adults turn towards the open door in shock to find Root and Sameen standing there for who knows how long.  Root’s crying silently and Sameen’s holding her hand.  “You looked for me?” Root asks quietly almost afraid to say it out loud in case it wasn’t true.

Mah opens her arms gesturing for Root to come to her.  “Oh nāzi, of course we looked for you.”

In a way Anwen thinks maybe Root hearing how much Mah loves her, thinking Root couldn’t hear, will go a lot further in helping her heal than anything else.  Root calms down and Sameen’s stands next to her, solid and real and fierce.  Root’s never felt safer than in this moment.  “You did change something maman.  You all did.  You gave me hope.”


	29. Where Did The Time Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fourteen years old. Mah can’t believe how the years have flown by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here's the long-awaited time-jump into adolescence. I made them 14 instead of 12 like I originally planned because this age will give me more range for their exploits. It's high school, they're starting 9th grade, so the possibilities are endless!
> 
> Feel free to give me ideas...post a message here or you can find me on Tmblr @madhattertoo

“Sameen, be careful; that box is too heavy to carry alone!”  Sameen grunts from the effort but refuses to admit it’s too heavy for her to handle.  She’s gasping as she mutters, “Well maybe if you can find where Root’s hiding we can get her to carry more than her laptop.”

Mah hides a smile at Sameen’s stubbornness.  It’s been an interesting four years, mostly filled with happiness as the girls continued to grow into confident young women, not to mention a handful.  When they band together they’re an unstoppable force.

Mah will never be able to thank Anwen enough for all her kindness and compassion in helping the entire family begin to process the trauma they all experienced a decade ago.  Some days were harder than others, but Anwen helped them grieve for the years they lost but look forward to the years ahead.  Root continued to see her regularly for almost a year.  Sameen only went back when Root asked her to go with her in order to work through something specific.  She acted like she was being escorted to the gulag but Root ignored her antics and Sameen would go and according to Anwen, she never refused to discuss or express her emotions when Root needed it.

Now here they are with the girls starting high school in a few weeks.  Since they were switching schools anyway, Mah and Abbas decided it would be a good time to find a bigger house.  They decided they couldn’t bear to sell the old one though; they simply have too many treasured memories there.  So Abbas hired a management company to manage the property and lease it to long-term renters.

The new house almost doubles their square footage and sits at the apex of a cul-de-sac.  The girls will finally have their own rooms (connected by a bathroom).  They just never got around to changing things at the old house and secretly Mah thought the girls needed the time together more than they needed their space.  Neither one ever asked either.

Even in this house they could both have larger rooms upstairs but chose the smaller connecting rooms.  Sameen muttered she was too old for her room to be next to her parents and Root decided trekking up the stairs all the time would be exhausting.  Mah didn’t believe either of their excuses, but like typical teenagers they refuse to admit they take comfort from being near one another.

Fourteen years old.  Mah can’t believe how the years have flown by. 

The house is close enough to the high school the girls can bike there.  Sameen is already talking about getting her license, although she wants a motorcycle as opposed to a car.  She also wants a part-time job to earn her own money she said, but Mah isn't a fool.  Sameen hopes if she earns the money herself, her parents will allow her to get the motorcycle.  Root expresses no interest in getting her license or a vehicle, concluding Sameen will drive her wherever she needs to go.  When she hears it Sameen rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but she never says no.

 

* * *

 

Root sits cross-legged, the raised edges of the tree bark digging into her back.  It's getting uncomfortable, but the cool breeze and the wind rustling through the leaves lull her into a lucid dream state, which is probably why she jumps out of her skin when Sameen deliberately sneaks up on her and yells her name.  Root’s heart practically beats out of her chest while Sameen snickers as she drops down next to her.

“Serves you right for leaving me to do the heavy lifting.”

“Well I know how proud you are of your muscles; I figured you’d like a chance to use them for something other than lifting weights.”

“Very funny.  Just so you know, you’re unpacking our boxes.”

“Fine.”

Sameen knew exactly where to find Root if she wanted help with the boxes.  She’d seen her wander off through the backyard into the dense woods behind the house.  But she really didn’t mind unloading the moving truck, whereas she would hate having to unpack boxes and decide where everything would go; definitely Root’s bailiwick.

The house abuts a dense wood Sameen intends to start exploring tomorrow.  She takes a deep breath, filling her lungs with the earthy scent of decomposing leaves carried in the wind.  She wonders if Root realizes there are probably a score of different animals living in these woods.  She already spotted a few animal trails crisscrossing the undergrowth.

Sameen hears a twig snap somewhere ahead of them and wonders if someone else, maybe one of their neighbors, is out here too or maybe it’s a small animal.  Root doesn’t even open her eyes at the sound, having gone back to dozing once the danger of having a heart attack passed.  But Sameen stays alert, her instincts telling her they’re being watched.  She whispers in Root’s ear.  “Do you smell that?”  Root turns her head.  “Smell what?”

“Cigarette smoke.”  Root’s gotten used to Sameen’s uncanny instincts over the years.  “Not really, but so what?”

“Well one spark from a cigarette in this wind can start a brush fire easily.  Plus cigarettes are made to burn long and slow, starting fires even hours after being dropped or thrown away.  It’s not like smokers are overly concerned to make sure their butts are extinguished before they toss them.  I’m going to take a look.”  Root sighs but decides to go with in case Sameen decides to pick a fight with one of their new neighbors.

They’ve already gone about a quarter of a mile without seeing anyone.  “Come on Sam, there’s no one out here.  Maybe it was barbeque smoke from someone’s backyard.”

Suddenly Sameen yanks Root down hard and covers her body with her own.  Just as Root hits the ground Sameen thinks she hears a ‘pht’ sound, but their bodies hitting the dead leaf strewn earth isn’t exactly quiet.  Root’s squirming beneath her and trying to talk.  Sameen shushes her and waits a full minute before standing and pulling Root up with her.  “What the hell Sam?!”

Sameen ignores her and examines the tree behind where they were just standing.  About four feet off the ground she sees a scattering of small holes, maybe five millimeters around.  She pulls out her pocket knife and digs into one of the holes, popping a metal pellet out.  “Sameen tell me what’s going on right now!”

“I think someone just shot at us.”


	30. The Secret In The Spooky Woods or Root's Been Noticing Sameen's Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When people see them they erroneously assume Sameen’s the bad ass and Root’s the side kick, but if anything Root’s the brains and she’s the muscle. “Fine. But that’s a low blow.”
> 
> “I’ll go as low as necessary to keep your ass alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Secret In The Spooky Woods is actually a Nancy Drew book. 
> 
> I'm not really feeling this chapter. Does it work?

“What?!”

“Look.”  She shows Root the pellets.  Root looks at her, wonder laced with fear.  “How did you…” but her voice trails off.

“I don’t know. Something felt wrong.”

“Why would somebody be shooting at us Sam?  We just got here!”

“No idea, but I’m going to find out.”

Sameen leads them on a zigzagging route out of the woods and into the back yard.  Root’s headed straight for the backdoor but Sameen yanks her back.  “Wait.  We’re keeping this to ourselves for now.  We can’t prove someone actually shot at us and calling the cops out here might piss off whoever it was even more.”

Root takes a deep breath and sighs.  She knew Sameen would want them to investigate on their own and normally Root’s happy to go along with whatever harebrained scheme she concocts, but this is different.  “Sam, this is not like when you filled Cal’s sanitizer with super glue because he posted a picture of me asking for canned good donations.”

“He’s lucky that’s all I did.”

“Not the point; and we got caught or did you forget the week’s detention we had to serve?”

“I tried to take the fall but Simmons saw us both sneaking out of the classroom.  I swear that woman’s had it in for me since kindergarten,” she huffs.

“We’re getting off topic.  Someone shot at us and we could’ve been killed.”

“Nah, it was an air gun, but it would’ve stun like hell.  Besides what do you think the cops are going to do exactly?  I didn’t hear anything really. It was just an instinct and those pellet holes can be explained away easily.  We’ll be lucky if they even believe us.”

“Fine, but how do you even know it was an air gun?” 

“The pellets.  Buckshot is bigger and we definitely would’ve heard a shot.  I also think I heard a ‘pht’ sound like air escaping a canister.”  Root shakes her head, but she’s never been able to say no to Sameen.  “So what’s our next move Sherlock?”

“There’s something out there someone’s trying to hide.  No one could’ve known we’d be in the woods.  We just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I just haven’t figured out where to start looking.”  They stand for a minute in silence.

“Sam, I have an idea.”

“What?”

“Whoever is using these woods for their illicit enterprise has to live in the neighborhood.  The woods aren’t that big and you’d have to go through someone’s yard to get back there.”

“So?  It’s not like we can stake them all out.”

“No, but I can look up the owners of all the properties abutting the woods.”

“So we’ll have a bunch of names.  Still not seeing the plan Watson.”  Root smiles slyly.  “Well, once we have the names we can do a different type of snooping.  There has to be something that will stand out.  Your average middle-class professional isn’t going to be involved in criminal activities.”

“We still need to know exactly what they’re trying to hide.  Otherwise we won’t know what to look for in terms of red flags.”

“Let’s compromise.  Let me track the digital footprints of the likely suspects and if nothing stands out then I’ll follow you to our untimely deaths.”

“Who said you were going?  It’s too dangerous.”

“Sameen Shaw if you even attempt to go into those woods without me I will scream bloody murder and tell maman and bâbâ and you will be grounded for a month of Sundays!  I’m not kidding.”  The look on Root’s face actually makes Sameen a little afraid to contradict her.  She knows Root’s deadly serious.  When people see them they erroneously assume Sameen’s the bad ass and Root’s the side kick, but if anything Root’s the brains and she’s the muscle.  “Fine.  But that’s a low blow.”

“I’ll go as low as necessary to keep your ass alive.”

 

* * *

 

“I think muscles I don’t even have are hurting.”

“Maybe next time you’ll let someone else help.”

“I don’t think you would’ve been much help.”

“Who said anything about me?”

Sameen’s splayed out on Root’s bed, while Root implements phase one of their plan.  The tapping sound as Root’s hands fly across the keyboard soothes Sameen.  She’s come to associate the sound with Root and home and safety.  She wonders if she’ll be able to sleep now without the comforting noise deep into the night.  Maybe if they keep the doors to the bathroom open on both sides she’ll still be able to hear it.

She notices Root took the time to put up the two drawings Sameen gave her; the one of Cinderella’s castle and the one of the two of them.  Root had them framed long ago; she insisted on museum grade glass and dry mounting.  Sameen mocked her once, just a little, she doesn’t even remember what she said, and it’s the only time Root ever yelled at her angrily and refused to talk to her for two days.  Outside of Root being gone, it was the worst two days of her life.

Sameen still remembers her words to this day.  “How could you be so stupidly insensitive Sameen?!”  Root yelled an angry flush creeping up her neck.  “For four years I’d look at that castle and remember _you_ and it kept me _alive_!  Then I came back and I was insecure and scared and you drew me the second one and when I felt bad it would help me remember I was loveable and loved; that you believed I deserved to loved and happy even when I didn’t believe it myself.  Don’t you ever diminish what they mean to me again Sameen!”  Her voice broke and tears streamed down her face and she locked herself in the spare room and Sameen had never felt so inadequate and just so wrong.

It was the first time she actually hurt Root’s feelings, outside of a misunderstanding; Root always got her and Sameen never had to censor her thoughts or figure out how to say something.  But when Root wouldn’t come out of the room even when Sameen tried to apologize, she was so worried she confessed to Mah what an idiot she’d been and implored her to talk to Root.  Not on her behalf, but just to make sure Root was okay.

Sameen embarked on a campaign to show Root how sorry she was and to show she knew what an asshole she’d been and there was no excuse.  She racked her brain but everything seemed trite compared to what she’d done.  Another drawing, Sameen thought, would just rub salt in the wound.  Root’s two favorite things in the world were Sameen and computers.  An idea began to form.

Sameen started a private blog, which only her and Root could access, and her first post was an apology to Root.  The blog site was littered with pictures of them; ones Root had never seen.  Most of them were from the time when Root was gone.  Sameen wanted her to know she understood the pain she caused.  She didn’t ask for forgiveness or make excuses; she just said she’d try to be better and the last person she’d ever want to hurt was her favorite person in the world. 

The blog became Sameen’s way to say to Root what she couldn’t with spoken words.  To this day, Sameen posts on the blog.  Not as often as she used to because over the years she’s learned she can let her guard down and get in touch with emotions she’d always thought were non-existent; emotions only Root seems to inspire.  Root eventually forgave her, but Sameen never forgave herself and thinks about it every once in a while to remind herself there’s a fragile side to her friend only she’s allowed to share and it’s her job to protect it, not smash it to smithereens.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Root.”  Root hums her acknowledgment but doesn’t stop typing or look over.  “How is it we just got here today and your clothes are already strewn across the floor like a minefield?”

“Oh no, now that we’re not sharing a room you don’t get to nag me about the mess.  Feel free to exercise your anal tendencies in your room.”  Sameen smirks with the memories of all the ways she tormented Root when the mess got out of hand.  One time she’d taken every stitch of clothing Root owned, including the ones in her closet, and hid them.  Sameen let her stew for four hours before she returned them.  As an added bonus she’d put them in the attic so they all smelled like moth balls and Root had to wash them all.

“Stop looking so smug Sameen.  I know what you’re thinking.  If you ever hide any of my clothes ever again you’ll find your weights in the river…with you attached.”  Sameen sputters…”I was…how did…oh never mind.  Anyway as long as you keep your mess out of the bathroom you can burrow into them for all I care.”

Root finally stops typing and looks up.  She flings herself onto the bed, deftly landing with her computer resting on Sameen’s ass.  Sameen grunts exaggeratedly, “Root!” 

“For someone who prides themselves on their strength you sure complain a lot Sameen.”  Root taunts, a smile on her face; the one she’s always reserved for Sameen and usually lets her get away with anything.  “Whatever.  I’m flexible but not that flexible.”  Root stretches out next to Sameen and they study what she found.  It’s not much.

“In terms of promising leads, we have maybe two and even they’re a stretch.”  Root sighs disappointedly.  “The one with the drug arrest a couple of years back, but which other one?” Sameen asks.  “The postal worker.”  Sameen sputter-laughs, “Really Root?”

“David Berkowitz, otherwise known as the Son of Sam, was a postal worker; so was Benjamin Franklin Miller, otherwise known as the Bra Killer; as well as Robert Shulman and John Christie.  All serial killers.”

“You know knowing that is kind of creepy right?”

“What,” Root asks defensively, “I read a lot.  I don’t call your gun obsession creepy.”

“So you think we stumbled on a serial killer burial ground?”  Sameen asks with a smile.  “No, I’m just saying there’s a reason ‘going postal’ became a thing.

Besides, I doubt the wheelchair bound piano teacher or the 89 year-old former janitor rank high on our suspect list.  I’m pretty sure the single-mom with four kids doesn’t have the time to be out in the woods doing anything.”

“What does the drug conviction guy do for a living?”

“No idea.  He hasn’t filed tax returns in five years and no income is being reported for him by an employer.  He could be working for cash, I suppose.  His bank account shows minimal activity and no suspicious influx of cash.  No credit cards, which is unusual I suppose.”

“Well I think that leaves us with two possibilities,” Sameen decides.

“What?”

“He a drug dealer or Victor Jones’s not his real name.”

“I don’t know Sam; I’m having second thoughts about this whole thing. We already know this person is dangerous.”

“Relax Root.  We’re not confronting anyone.  It’s purely a fact-finding mission.  Once we know more we’ll tell maman and bâbâ and they can call the police.

Nothing’s going to happen.”


	31. Phase 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mah hears the door slam and calls out. “Girls?” Root answers, although she’s out of breath. “Yes…maman…we’re back.” She drags Sameen into her room and closes the door. Sameen slides down the side of the bed and catches her breath. 
> 
> “Well I think that answers our question,” she tells Root.
> 
> “I told you postal workers are creepy,” Root sighs, as she leans her head against the wall and closes her eyes.

Sameen’s in her bed on the first night at the new house.  The room feels too big even though it’s not really.  It’s the absence of Root she feels; even she knows it.  Root was always on her computer late into the night and the sound of her fingers on the keyboard lulled Sameen to sleep like white noise for other people.  This is ridiculous she thinks.  She can sleep in her own room without Root.  She’s 14 not 10.

Root knew she’d miss sharing a room with Sameen.  If she needed anything, or just wanted to share some random thought, Sameen was always there.  Sure she’d feign sleep or annoyance, but Root knew she was listening and when Root needed it, she always responded.  She always knew when Root needed it without Root having to ask.  Root takes a deep breath and snuggles into her pillow and Bear, whom she still keeps on her bed.  She knows if she goes over to Sameen’s room, she’ll let Root sleep in her bed, but it does seem like it’s time to grow up and stop using Sam as a security blanket.  She tosses and turns for awhile but eventually falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

“Come on Root,” Sameen cajoles. 

“Where are we going?”

“For a bike ride. 

Maman we’ll be back later.  We’re going to explore the new neighborhood,” Sameen calls out.

“Okay girls, just be careful.”

“We will maman.”

“Where are we really going Sam?”

“On our fact-finding mission.  We’re going to ride by the postal worker and drug dealer’s houses to see if anything looks weird.”

“You think there’ll be a sign saying ‘criminal here’?"

“No Root.” Sameen huffs exasperatedly.  “Would you rather I go back into the woods?”

“No, no, I get it.”  They take their time exploring the neighborhood.  Across from the drug dealers house a kid is on the sidewalk dribbling his basketball.  “Okay Root, go make friends with the kid.  That way we can hang out for a bit and watch.”

“Why do I have to be the one?”

“Really Root.  I need to answer that?”

Root approaches the boy, who seems to be a little younger than them, maybe 12 or 13.  “Hi, I’m Root.  This is Shaw.  We just moved here.”  Sameen’s decided she wants to be called Shaw by other people except Root and since they’re starting a new school, it’s the perfect time to start.

“Hi, I’m Jordan.”

“You know Shaw’s really good at sports.  Maybe she can help you.”  Sameen scowls at her behind the boy’s back but Root gives her a look like ‘this was your idea, suck it up.’  Jordan turns to Sameen and smiles shyly.  Sameen takes a deep breath and the ball.  “Okay first; you dribble with your fingertips and pads of your hands without looking at the ball.  Keep your head up and keep your eyes focused on what's happening.”  She passes Jordan the ball and watches him practice for a minute.

“To dribble, push the ball down by spreading your fingers and flexing your wrist. You don't need to push it down hard. Also, keep your legs flexed and your back straight.”  Sameen demonstrates until she thinks Jordan at least understands the mechanics.  “Okay, the most important thing is don’t stop dribbling until you know what you’re going to do with the ball.”

They practice just dribbling a few minutes and then Sameen enlists Root for some passes so Jordan can practice his skills.  He’s not half bad and she’s impressed with his improvement in just a few minutes.  “Thanks Shaw,” he grins.  “Good job kid.”

“Hey Jordan, who lives across the street from you?”  Root asks casually.

“Oh that’s Vic.  He’s nice.  We were playing kickball in the street once and the ball went into his yard.  He gave it back to us and wasn’t mad.  He always says hi.  Look, there he is.”  Sameen and Root look over and Vic’s getting out of his car.  He sees them and waves before he goes inside.

 

* * *

 

“Okay well that got us exactly nowhere,” Sameen complains.  They’re making their way to the postal worker’s house.  “Well if whoever this is uses their backyard as cover, it’s not like we’re going to learn anything looking at the front of the house,” Root points out.

“So again, I’m back to going into the woods to figure out what’s going on,” Sameen decides.  Root wracks her brain to come up with an alternate plan but comes up empty.

“I have an idea.”  Root looks at Sameen suspiciously.  “Let’s go back to the house and grab my football.”

“Sameen you know I can’t catch a football.”

“I know; that’s the plan.  We’ll play in front of the house.  I’ll overthrow and then we have an excuse to go into the yard.”  Root’s not thrilled with the plan, but she doesn’t have a better one.  It’s either this or Sameen will insist on going back through the woods.  “Fine.  But at the first sign of trouble we run.  Agreed?”  She raises her eyebrows and stares hard at Sameen.  “Fine.” Sameen agrees but she rolls her eyes anyway.

Jordan’s still outside when they come back so they decide to start with Vic’s house.  “Hey Jordan, want to play catch?”  Root asks.  He grins widely.  “Yeah!”

Sameen spends a few minutes showing him how to hold the football.  “Okay, now let’s practice catching.  Stand next to Root on the sidewalk across the street.” Jordan runs over enthusiastically and stands with Root.  Sameen lobs a couple of easy throws.  Jordan manages to catch one and Root manages to get hit on the head.  They play for a few minutes before she lets go with all she’s got and the ball flies over the fence and into Vic’s backyard.

“Sorry guys, I guess I don’t know my own strength,” she apologizes.  She crosses the street.  “I’ll just knock on the door and ask Vic if we can get it,” she adds casually.  Root waits with Jordan on the sidewalk while she knocks.  She waits a couple of minutes, but no one answers.  She’s about to walk back to Root and Jordan when the door opens.  Root can’t hear what she says or what Vic responds, but before she can blink, Sameen walks into the house and the door closes behind her.

‘I’m going to kill her,’ Root thinks.  She’s not at all comfortable with Sameen walking into the house without her.  But Vic saw Root and Jordan on the sidewalk; he’s not going to do anything to her right?  Root waits a couple of minutes, but then decides to take action.  She’s not going to stand around outside while Sameen may be getting murdered!

“Wait here Jordan, I’ll be right back.  Maybe Shaw needs help looking.”  She stomps to the front door and pounds her hand on the frame.  No one answers.  She places her ear to the door but can’t hear anything; so she speed-walks to the side of the house and through the gate.  Maybe she can get in through the back and save Sameen so she can kill her for walking into a stranger’s house.  A stranger they suspect of being up to no good!

As Root rounds the house into the backyard she hears Sameen’s voice.  “Oh, that’s a cool path.  What’s back there?”  Root slows down, waiting to see what Vic says before she interrupts.  “Some plants and a gazebo, want to see?”

Root shoots into the backyard.  “Sameen!”  Sameen looks at her like she’s ruined everything.  Root ignores her and talks to Vic.  “Oh, thanks for letting us get our ball.”  He smiles congenially.  “Sure, anytime.  If I’m not home you can always come get it.”

Root smiles at him, but it looks like she’s got a stomachache and Sameen realizes there’s nothing more to be learned right now.  “Yeah, thanks.  Come on Root.”

Root wants to yell at Sameen immediately, but Jordan’s waiting for them.  “I told you Vic was nice.  Can we practice some more?”  Root wants to get Sameen away from here so she can yell at her, but Jordan looks so hopeful, she doesn’t want to disappoint him, plus it might look weird if they leave immediately after going into Vic’s yard.

“Sure Jordan.  We can do a few more and then Shaw and I need to go home for lunch.” 

 

* * *

 

“Sameen Shaw, what were you thinking?!”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  “He wasn’t going to hurt me Root.  He knew you and Jordan were waiting on the sidewalk.”

“That’s beside the point!  He could’ve gotten suspicious; especially since you asked about the woods behind his yard.”

“Relax.  The ball was near the gate leading to the woods.  I’m sure he didn’t think anything was weird.”  Root stomps off and it takes her a minute to realize Sameen’s not behind her.  She’s walking in the opposite direction.  She turns around and catches up.  “Where do you think you’re going Sameen?”

“ _We’re_ going to the postal workers house; unless you want me to go alone?”

 

* * *

 

“It doesn’t look like anyone’s home.  No car.”  The yard’s overgrown and the curtains on the windows are drawn tight.  Sameen starts to walk around to the backyard.  “Sameen!  Get back here,” Root yell-whispers.  But Sameen ignores her and disappears into the backyard.  Root doesn’t know why she’d thought this would be any different.  Sameen’s fearless.  She follows with a sigh.

The backyard’s patchy and overgrown with wild rose bushes flush with pastel blooms.  Sun-bleached garden gnomes stare out ominously from their perches.  A rusted shed sits on the edge of the property near the entrance to the woods.  The right door’s hanging off the hinge basically being held up by a large shiny padlock. The back gate is open and a pungent charred odor greets them as they get closer. 

Root can feel her clothes sticking to her back, sweat dripping from her brow.  Sameen swats at a mosquito on her arm, leaving behind a dirty palm print on her skin.  She turns back to check on Root and the ground gives out beneath her.  “Sameen!”  Root lunges to try and pull her back, but she’s too slow and Sameen disappears before her eyes.

She hears a loud oomph and then silence.  “Sameen!”  She walks forward slowly, knowing its important she not follow Sameen into the abyss.  “Sameen!”  The silence lasts long enough Root starts to envision all sorts of horrors.

“I’m okay,” Sameen groans.  “Be careful.  I need you to get me out of here.”  Root lies on her stomach and crawls forward slowly until her head’s on the edge of the hole.  “Sam, someone dug this hole deliberately; look at the sides.”  Sameen nods her head in agreement.  “Yeah, and they covered it with brush so it couldn’t be spotted until you’re tumbling down into it.  See if you can see something to help me out; some kind of rope or something.”

Root backs up carefully and looks around.  She finds a discarded rope near the shed.  She needs to brace it around something or else Sameen won’t be able to pull herself up.  But the only possible option is a tree.  But the rope isn’t long enough to tie around the tree and reach down into the hole.

She thinks for a second and then fashions a hang-man’s noose.  She loops it around the tree and then ties it around herself.  She crawls back towards the hole, just barely reaching the edge.  “Sam, grab my hands.  You need to climb up and over me.”

“No way!  I might pull you down with me.”

“Sameen, I’m not leaving you here to get help and there’s no other choice.  Grab on!!”  Root shouts angrily.  Sameen takes a deep breath and braces her foot against the side of the hole before grabbing onto Root’s arms.  She scrabbles up as quickly as possible, throwing herself to the side as she grabs onto Root to make sure she doesn’t slide down.

Root throws herself on top of her.  “Sameen, you’re okay!”  She hugs her hard, not letting Sameen stand.  “Root.  Root, I’m okay.  Get off me!”  Root holds on for a minute longer, and then gets to her feet, pulling Sameen up behind her.  She grabs Sameen’s hand in a vice-like grip and starts running.

They don’t stop running until they’re home.

Mah hears the door slam and calls out.  “Girls?”  Root answers, although she’s out of breath.  “Yes…maman…we’re back.”  She drags Sameen into her room and closes the door.  Sameen slides down the side of the bed and catches her breath. 

“Well I think that answers our question,” she tells Root.

“I told you postal workers are creepy,” Root sighs, as she leans her head against the wall and closes her eyes.


	32. I Thought You Were A Tree Branch!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s not sure why lately she keeps noticing Sameen’s looks. She guesses it’s normal to notice the changes. Her breasts have grown and her body’s curvier and Root’s not sure how to describe it, but although Sameen’s not muscular like a body builder, she has muscles that fascinate Root. Her skin glows with a summer tan and reminds Root of sun-kissed oranges. She’s strong, but graceful…

As the light fades, it leaves behind shadows and dark patches surrounding Sameen. Eyes glimmer from tree hollows and the wind whispers between distorted trunks, carrying the sickly stink of wood rot.   She moves faster, ignoring the briars that catch at her jeans and the damp leaves that grime her skin. 

She left Root hunkered down in front of her computer trying to dig deeper into Mr. Creepy Postal Worker, Chuck Fields.  She probably won’t even notice Sameen’s missing before she gets back.  She knows Root would never let her do what she’s doing right now; searching the woods at night.  But she’s convinced it’s the only way to figure out what’s going on and who shot at them. 

She has an excellent sense of direction but the murky moonlight does little to illuminate the path.  She’s pretty sure she’s in the same general area where they were shot at, but one tree looks like any other in the dark and she regrets her lack of a flashlight.  She thought about it, but decided it would seem odd if anyone spotted the light bobbing in the night.  She doesn’t want to alert their attacker to her presence. 

 

* * *

 

Root’s hacked into numerous databases, but hasn’t been able to find anything interesting or out of the ordinary on Mr. Chuck Fields.  He lives off his pension and pays his bills on time.  His parents are deceased; he never married, and has no children.  He doesn’t own any property other than his house and doesn’t spend much on entertainment activities.  He could be considered a bit reclusive, but there’s nothing that cries out ‘serial killer’ or ‘deviant.’

“Hey Sam.”  Root doesn’t get a response.  “Sameen,” she sing-songs.  When Sameen still doesn’t answer Root leaves her computer and walks through their shared bathroom to Sameen’s bedroom.  It’s empty. 

She finds Mah in the kitchen.  “Maman have you seen Sameen?”

“Not for a while nāzi.  Maybe she’s setting up her weights in the basement.”

Root starts to get a sinking feeling in her stomach.  She just saw Sameen’s weights on the floor of her room, but she checks the basement anyway.  No Sameen.  The new house is big but it only takes her a couple of minutes to search and conclude Sameen’s nowhere inside.  She peeks out the front windows, but she’s not on the porch either.  The only place left to look is in the backyard.

Root’s not thrilled about going back there at night, but if Sameen went into the woods then she has to find her.  The backdoor is unlocked, which convinces her that’s exactly where Sameen went.  She goes back to the kitchen to get a flashlight.  Luckily Mah’s no longer in there so she doesn’t have to lie about why she needs it.  She grabs a jacket from her room.  She’s going to kill Sameen as soon as she makes sure she’s okay.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s not moving as fast as she’d like because the last thing she needs is to fall into another hole.  She’s also trying to minimize any noise in case she’s not in these woods alone.  No point in advertising her presence. 

She’s given it some thought and hasn’t come up with anything it would make sense to hide in these woods.  She and Root can’t be the first people to ever wander around out here.  If they stumbled upon something so quickly, wouldn’t someone else have caught on?  They didn’t see anything even though she got a weird feeling about being watched.  The twig snapping couldn’t have been more than one person moving carefully or she and Root would’ve heard more noise.  Maybe it’s not about something hidden, but about some activity they almost stumbled upon or interrupted.  If so, there might not be any evidence of it at all. 

A few minutes later she hears a low screech cut off mid-breath.  She freezes and tries to pinpoint its location, but it doesn’t come again.  It might’ve even been a bird, she thinks.  She starts to admit to herself it might be ridiculous to be out here at night.  Even if there’s no one dangerous, how likely is it she’ll be able to find anything useful?  She decides to turn back.

She’s close enough to see the glow from the houselights in their home.  Hopefully Root hasn’t noticed she’s gone or followed through on her threat to tell maman and bâbâ if she did.  She raises her foot to step over a large tree branch and wonders why she didn’t notice it on her way out.  Mid-step the branch rises and she gets tangled, landing with a hard thump. 

“Sameen!” She hears Root whisper-shout.  “WTF Root!  Are you trying to kill me?!”

“I should!  You promised me Sameen!  You promised you wouldn’t come out here without me!”

“Shhhh… Keep your voice down.  They’ll hear us.  What were you doing lying down on the ground anyway?”

“I tripped and got the wind knocked out of me when I saw you walking back.  You were just going to leave me there?!”

“No!” Sameen hisses.  “I thought you were a tree branch.  Let’s get back inside before we get caught and get in trouble.”

 

* * *

 

The last time Root locked herself in a room, she didn’t speak to Sameen for two days.  Sameen isn’t going to let her stew in her anger this time.  She’s tried knocking but Root won’t open up and won’t talk to her either.  She’s left Sameen no choice.

When the door pops open she finds Root on her computer with her headphones on; the music’s so loud Sameen can hear it clearly.  It’s Lady Gaga’s new song, The Cure.  Root looks up startled and yanks off her headphones, scowling.  “When did you learn to pick locks?”

“I started practicing the last time you locked yourself in a room.  Besides, bathroom doors are easy.” She wiggles the screwdriver in her hand proudly.  Root is not amused and yanks her head phones back on. Sameen sighs and props herself on Root’s desk, crowding into her space so Root can’t keep typing and ignore her.

Root sighs loudly and looks up at her.  “You’re in my way.”  Sameen just stares at her, eventually signaling for Root to take off her headphones when it doesn’t seem Root has any intention to do so.  “What Sameen?” Root huffs.

“Come on Root-“

“No!  Don’t you come on Root me; you promised Sameen.  You promised not to go out there without me.  You lied to me,” Root accuses.

Sameen tenses.  “No.  I just said ‘fine’ when you threatened to tell maman and bâbâ if I did it.  I never said I wouldn’t do it.”  She can count on one hand the times Root’s ever been mad at her and still have fingers left over, but those few instances all have three things in common.  Root turns red, screams, and then cries. 

It’s the crying that kills her.  She can’t stand to see Root cry and it makes her feel like a jerk.  So this time when she sees Root turning red, she apologizes immediately.  “Please Root.  I’m sorry.  I know I shouldn’t have gone out there without you or at least telling you.  I know you thought I was promising not to even though it’s not what I meant.  Can we skip the shouting and crying?  Please?  I was wrong.  I promise never to mislead you again.”  The look on her face is pleading, but it’s the sincerity in her eyes and in her voice that brings Root down from the anger ledge.

“I trust you Sameen.  You’ve never lied to me.  Don’t start now.  I’m not sure I could take it.”

Sameen should’ve known Root could make her feel like a jerk even without the crying and without even trying.  Root’s not trying to make her feel bad; she’s just telling her the truth.  Root only trusts one person implicitly.  Sameen.  Outside of her she trusts Mah and Abbas and to a lesser extent Anwen.  That’s it.

“I won’t.”  Root stares at her earnestly for a minute and she forces herself to not look away.  Root shakes her head and smiles ruefully.  “I am such a sucker…” She almost says ‘for your gorgeous eyes,’ but stops herself at the last second. 

She’s not sure why lately she keeps noticing Sameen’s looks.  She guesses it’s normal to notice the changes.  Her breasts have grown and her body’s curvier and Root’s not sure how to describe it, but although Sameen’s not muscular like a body builder, she has muscles that fascinate Root.  Her skin glows with a summer tan and reminds Root of sun-kissed oranges.  She’s strong, but graceful…

“Uh, Root?”  Root realizes she’s been staring, lost in her thoughts.  She shakes her head and stands up, stretching her arms above her head and arching her back to get rid of the kinks.  She plops down onto her bed.  “So did you learn anything on your forbidden journey?”      


	33. Out Of The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maman!” No one answers and when she peeks out the front window, she sees the cars are gone. So much for someone searching for their bodies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a confession to make. The first rule of holes stolen from MayonnaiseJane's, How to Retask an Orphan Process. I don't feel too bad though, I doubt she invented it. But still. I try to give credit where credit is due. I do not, however, have to disclose the source for the four alarm fire and if I do, you're lost and probably reading the wrong fanfic anyway. Oh and the chapter title's stolen from a Taylor Swift song. Boy, when I write it all down I've really been giving free reign to my larcenous inclinations. My bad. NOT.
> 
> Feed the author!

No one would know, but under all the loose clothes she wears, Root sports a six-pack.  Her shirt is riding up as she stretches, revealing a tantalizing peak of the hard body underneath and Sameen’s heart rate spikes.  It’s not like she’s never seen Root’s abs, but the way Root’s stretching to her full height accentuates them, and her _long_ lean legs, in a way Sameen’s never noticed before. 

“Earth to Sam…”  Root looks at her, puzzled.  Was Sameen just staring at her body?  Interesting.

“Uh… yeah…no.  I realized it was stupid to be out there at night.  I couldn’t see much.  We should go search tomorrow morning.  We’ll tell maman we’re going exploring, so if we don’t come back someone will know where to look for our bodies.”  Root sputter-laughs.  “Dramatic much Sameen?”  Sameen rolls her eyes and frowns, but it’s like she’s a million miles away.  “I’m beat,” she mutters as she walks through the bathroom into her room.

 

* * *

 

Root’s usually awake before Sameen, but this morning her room’s empty and her bed is made.  Root wanders into the kitchen.  “Good morning nāzi; how’d you sleep in your new room?”

“Good maman.  I woke up a few times thinking I heard something, but it was just normal house noises.  I’m sure I’ll get used to them soon.  Plus it’s weird not to hear Sameen breathing when I’m on my computer late…uh…not that it’s that late…but she goes to sleep kinda early…”  Mah can’t help but laugh, “Uh huh…Root you need to learn the first rule of holes.”  Root looks confused, her eyebrows furrowed.  “When you’re in one nāzi, stop digging.”  Root looks chagrined and Mah walks away with a wide smile.  Root makes herself a slice of peanut butter toast and grabs an apple.

“Wow Sam, this is quite a setup.”  Root looks around the basement in appreciation.  Sameen's set up her equipment for circuit training; maximum efficiency.  “What’s with the desk?”

“I’m going to put my iHome down here so I can have music while I workout.”

“There’s already a loveseat here though, so why do you need a chair?”  Sameen busies herself making an adjustment to the speed bag hookup.  She turns away and mumbles so Root doesn’t catch what she says.  She walks over and stands in front of Sameen, quirking her eyebrow in question.  “It’s for you.  Uh, in case you want to work down here sometimes or whatever,” she says in a rush as she turns away again.

“Thanks Sam; that’s really thoughtful.”  Sameen’s never too comfortable with appreciation so Root keeps it light.  “I’m going to tell maman we’re going exploring in the woods,” Sameen mutters as she flees.  Root can’t help the smile that steals across her face at the thought of having an excuse to watch Sameen workout.

 

* * *

 

“Which way?” Root asks, as Sameen focuses on the area right outside their backyard gate.  “Well, we were only about 15 yards out to the southeast so let’s head there; then we’ll start a grid search.” 

She obsesses over every inch of the uneven ground while Root immerses herself in their surroundings.  Root can hear birds calling and squirrels chattering on the currents of the light breeze rustling through the leaves.  The ticking tap of a woodpecker distracts her and she stands still, looking around and trying to find it.  Sameen hears her stop and turns around to look, a sharp command on her lips, but the look of wonder on Root’s face drowns it.  Root’s standing preternaturally still; a hand pressed against her chest, fingers splayed out, eyes widened, her lips parted in a wide smile as she peers upwards.

Sameen steps to her side and Root grasps her hand without taking her eyes off the bird.  It’s pale overall, even the boldly black-and-white striped back, with flashing red cap and nape.  They watch as it hitches along the trunk of a large tree, picking at the bark surface more often than drilling into it.  Suddenly, it stops; head cocked sharply as if sensing them, emitting a shrill, rolling _kwirr_ before it flies away.  As it soars they catch a glimpse of white patches near the wingtips.

Root bursts out with a genuine laugh, words slipping from her mouth almost giddily.  “Wow Sam; that was so cool,” she enthuses as she brings her eyes down to meet Sameen’s.  Sameen rolls her eyes, but smiles gently.  “Yeah, good thing it didn’t fall out of that tree because we were not bringing it home.”  Root’s eyes twinkle as she remembers their childhood rescue.  She doesn’t contradict her, but she knows Sameen will bring home as many birds as Root feels need rescuing. 

 

* * *

 

Sameen stops abruptly and Root runs into her, almost toppling them both.  “Do you hear that?  It sounds like water trickling around rocks.”  Root shakes her head slowly, but she’s sure.  “Come on.”  She chases the sound like a child after the pied piper, Root trailing behind her.

They break through trees and brush hemming a meandering shallow creek, rocks creating small islands in the sun-dappled surface of the stream, humming dragonflies swooping just above the water.  She picks up a small rock and throws it, hearing it drop with a plop to the bottom.

“What are you doing?” she asks, when Root takes off her sneakers and the mud squishes softly as her delicate feet sink into the wet earth.  “I want to feel the water running over my feet.”  She rolls her eyes and shakes her head disapprovingly, but Root’s not deterred.  “The water could be polluted you know.  You may be contracting typhoid, dysentery, hepatitis or cholera to name a few.  Or you could get lucky and only end up with diarrhea, abdominal cramps, nausea and vomiting.”

Root smiles like Sameen just described her dream vacation destination.  “Stop being such a spoilsport Sameen; get in the water.  The temperature’s perfect.”  Root closes her eyes blissfully as the gentle current flows around her bare ankles.  “Take a glimpse; I’m pretty sure the loch ness monster’s not hanging out here,” she teases.  “The water’s like a clear looking glass all the way to the bottom.”

“Did you forget we’re trying to figure out if someone’s trying to kill us?”  Sameen retorts.  “Sameen, are you auditioning for the latest teen soap opera and forget to tell me?” She asks deadpan.

Sameen crosses her arms, an annoyed look obvious on her scowling face. 

“Fine, fine, I’m getting out now.”  The rocks on the creek bottom poke into Root’s bare feet until she steps out onto the scratchy grass.  She air dries her feet _patiently_ before slipping into her shoes again.  _Sameen impatiently_ taps her foot until Root’s done but doesn’t say anything.

 

* * *

 

They’re heading northwest after nearly two hours without finding much of note except for Root’s unquestionable thirst for all things nature and Sameen’s newly discovered reservoir of patience.  Root’s walking ahead of her when she slows down and holds her hand out, making sure Sameen stops next to her.  Sameen looks down and sees what drew Root’s attention.  They’re in a small clearing and there’s an obviously man-made hole in the ground, about one foot deep.  Inside there’s a pile of scavenged deadfall.  “It’s a fire pit,” Sameen observes.  The uneven rocky ground doesn’t lend itself to any other clues and the pit’s cold so no telling when it was last in use or why.

“It looks like an ad hoc campsite.  We’re in a gravelly patch of bare ground ringed by trees and bushes.  It’s also relatively private.  You can’t do much better if you want to hide suspicious activities from your neighbors,” she concludes.  She rummages inside the fire pit with a stick for a second but doesn’t find anything other than dirt and bark.

“But what?”  Root wonders.  She’s walking the perimeter of the clearing and turning back to say something when she lets out a pain soaked scream and falls to the ground.  “Sameen!”  Sameen never knew what having your heart stuck in your throat meant until this very second.  She lunges for Root and drops to her knees.  She sees immediately Root’s foot is stuck in a steel-jawed leg trap. 

She reacts without thinking, tuning out Root’s cries and the noise of the woods.  Using both hands she grabs the levers on either side of the trap with her fingers and stabilizes the bottom using her palms.  She then uses her fingers to pull the levers and relieve the pressure on the trap jaws.  Sound suddenly comes roaring back to her ears and she’s aware of Root’s rasping breaths and pained moans. 

“Root.  Listen to me.  I need you to pull your foot out.  I can’t let go or the trap will shut again.”  Root’s squeezing her eyes shut, nostrils flaring, her hands clutching at the ground.  She manages to nod but makes no attempt to move.  “Root.  Look at me.”  Sameen cajoles softly. “Come on Root.  Look at me please.”  Root manages to open her eyes, her jaw clenched.  “Okay that’s good.  It’s okay.  I’m going to take care of you.  Just pull your foot back a few inches.  That’s all.  Come on Root, you can do it,” she encourages firmly.  Root finally manages to drag herself back a couple of inches, clearing her foot from the trap.  Sameen drops it carefully, letting the jaws clamp shut again.

She cradles Root in her arms.  “Okay, I’m going to take off your shoe.”  It’s only been a matter of seconds but Root’s foot is already swollen and a series of puncture wounds line her midfoot.  Luckily the leather of the sneakers deflected some of the force of the trap and they’re not too deep; but they still look like they’ll need stitches.

“Don’t leave me here alone,” Root pleads.  Her clammy hands clutch at Sameen’s shirt and Sameen feels a sharp pain in her chest, like something wants to burst out.  “Don’t be stupid.”  Ever since their big misunderstanding when Root first came back, the phrase has become their code for everything from “of course not” to “we’re in this together,” or any and every other reassurance the situation may call for.  “Just let me think a minute.”

She takes off her tank and uses her pocket knife to tear it into strips.  She wraps two around Root’s foot to stem the bleeding.  It’s not gushing but its bleeding steadily.  Root winces but holds herself stiff, trying to keep the pain at bay and not make it harder for Sameen to bandage her foot.  Satisfied she’s done the best she can for now, she looks at Root confidently.  “Okay. I’m going to have to carry you.”

“But Sam, I’m too tall and I’m not that light,” Root points out, gasping.  “I can bench press 115 pounds, which is more than you weigh,” Sameen growls.  “But it doesn’t matter anyway.  I’m going to help you up, then use a fireman’s carry.”  She doesn’t wait for Root to agree, just pulls her up by her arms and flips her onto her back.

Root’s breathing loudly in Sameen's ear as she finds their way back using a less circuitous route than the one they took this morning.  The warm little huffs are also causing an unfamiliar sensation to course through her body.  It’s pleasing in a weird way, but also uncomfortable.  She takes a deep breath and walks faster.

She lays Root down on the outdoor patio sofa and rushes inside.  “Maman!”  No one answers and when she peeks out the front window, she sees the cars are gone.  So much for someone searching for their bodies.  She dials 911 and helps Root to the front porch to wait for the ambulance.

 

* * *

 

The paramedics try to tell Sameen she can’t ride with them, but seeing the panicked look on Root’s face, she jumps in before they can react and braces herself against the furthest corner of the bench seat with a determined look on her face.  They decide it’s not worth trying to physically remove the stubborn and weirdly strong-looking teenager from their truck.

The doors slam shut and the glare of lights digs at Root’s eyes. Pain pulses through her foot, and then intensifies as the paramedic examines the wound.  The route to the hospital seems to be littered with acres of pot holes, making the ride bumpy, jostling Root’s stretcher and causing more pain when her foot knocks against the metal rail of the stretcher. 

The more senior-looking EMT, Josh according to his shirt, snaps on a pair of neoprene examination gloves and takes Root’s vitals.  “Are you in any pain?” he asks while simultaneously opening a drawer and pulling out the supplies he’s going to need.  Sameen has to clamp her jaw shut because the sarcastic comment struggling to get out isn’t going to be helpful, just insulting.

Root doesn’t bother to answer and reaches for Sameen’s hand when she feels his hand on her ankle.  Sameen lets her grip it tightly even though it hurts.  Root’s a lot stronger than she used to be when they were kids. 

Josh carefully unravels the improvised makeshift bandage.  He cleanses the wound periphery gently and competently.  Sameen watches him like a hawk, wanting to make sure he doesn’t hurt Root more than necessary.  He prepares to irrigate the wound so he can properly evaluate the injury.  As he lifts his hand, she clasps it in a vice-like grip.  “She needs an anesthetic.”

Josh smiles like he’s humoring a small child.  “It’s okay sweetheart…”  Sameen’s reaction is akin to that of a four alarm fire in an oil refinery.  Josh actually turns pale at the look on her face and the unmistakable threat in her voice.  “You’re done.  We’ll be at the hospital in a minute and they can treat her there.”  He mutters under his breath, “She’s just a kid.”

“ _This_ kid is a third dan black belt.  Touch her again and I’ll show you what it means.”  Sameen’s not proud of herself.  She never uses her skills to threaten, much less hurt, another person except for self-defense.  But there are no rules when protecting Root.  None.  

Josh pretends he doesn’t hear her, but puts all the supplies back.  In less than a minute they’re pulling into the ambulance bay.  Sameen waits for Root to be unloaded and then jumps down, mumbling a “thanks and sorry” as she follows Root into the hospital.

 

* * *

 

Mah strides into Root’s treatment room confidently.  She’s not surprised to find Sameen by her side even though the nurses assured her she was in the waiting room.  To this day Root’s terrified of hospitals.  Sameen would no more leave her alone in one than she would willingly skip a meal.  She sweeps Root into a hug and plants a kiss on Sameen’s head.  She always tries to duck halfheartedly but Mah’s too quick.  “Nāzi, I’m so thankful you’re safe.”

Sameen looks at Mah guiltily.  “I’m sorry maman, I let Root get hurt.”

“Sameen Shaw this is not your fault or Root’s,” she assures them glancing over to make sure Root’s listening.  “Those traps are illegal for a reason.  I’ve already contacted the homeowner’s association and we’ll file a police report when we get home.”

“I’m sorry I caused all this trouble maman,” Root whispers despondently.  Over the years Root’s grown into a confident and capable young woman, but there are times when Mah can still see fear and uncertainty in her eyes.  It’s the look of a five-year-old child waiting to be punished for some perceived wrong.  Mah sits next to her on the hospital bed and pulls her close, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.  Unlike Sameen, Root likes physical affection, deriving more comfort from actions than words.

Mah notices Sameen’s clothes for the first time.  Or lack thereof.  “Sameen, why are you in a sports bra?  What happened to your shirt?”  Sameen looks surprised until she remembers.

“Maman, Sam knew just what to do.  She tore her shirt into pieces so she could bandage my foot and stop the bleeding.  Then she carried me back to the house.”  Root gushes affectionately.

Sameen looks away embarrassedly and shrugs.  “Uh, I forgot to put on another shirt.”

“Well I’m glad to see you had your priorities in order azizam,” Mah smiles proudly.  She steps out to find the doctor and have Root discharged immediately. 

When she comes back into the room Sameen’s helping Root size the crutches she’ll need to use for a week or so.  There’s a frowning tech looking frustrated in the corner.  Mah can only imagine the way her strong-willed daughter took over his task. 

“Okay girls, let’s get out of here.  Root we just need to keep your stitches dry for the next two days and watch for signs of infection.  Dr. Karev can take them out in another ten days or so.” 

The doctor is concerned because Root refused a tetanus shot.  When he tried to convince her, Sameen objected.  Loudly and in no uncertain terms.  Something about the right to refuse medical care and being Root’s representative until Mah arrived.  She insisted it wasn’t an emergency and they were going to wait for Mah.    

Mah had a hard time keeping a straight face at the doctor’s indignant tone when he told her.  “Well, she wasn’t wrong,” Mah answers him.  “But thank you for your concern.” 

“I still think…”  Mah sighs gently, still smiling, and doesn’t let him finish.  “I understand perfectly doctor, but Root will not be getting a tetanus shot today.  Now I’m taking her home.  My family hates hospitals.  It’s genetic.”  She leaves him staring after her.

 

* * *

 

Abbas answers the door and finds an unfamiliar man slouching against the porch rail.  “May I help you?”

“I’m Detective Sturgis.  Your wife called the station to make a report about an unlawful trap?”  He flips his credentials in Abbas’ direction dismissively and doesn’t wait to be invited inside.

Mah finds it highly unusual the local police department sends a detective to the house to take their report.  He towers over Mah deliberately and she decides on the spot she doesn’t like him.  “Sit down Detective.”  She deliberately uses a commanding tone and he understands it’s not a question.  His black, ball-bearing eyes stare at Mah intently for a moment before he takes the proffered seat.

Mah waits for him to sit and then takes a seat on the sofa next to Abbas.  He turns his body towards Abbas, dismissing Mah none too subtly.  “Mr. Shaw I understand your daughters were playing in the woods unsupervised.”  Abbas’ eyes narrow and harden, his usually pleasant demeanor hidden behind the steel in his words.  “You seem to have misunderstood.  You’re here because someone committed a crime by setting an illegal trap and caused serious bodily injury.”  Abbas lets the silence grow, perfectly comfortable to wait Sturgis out.  He’s either going to change his attitude or he’ll be shown the door.

Sturgis is used to using silence against suspects, knowing most people will talk to fill the uncomfortable void.  It’s disconcerting to have a civilian use it on him.  But he’s an experienced chameleon and if intimidation doesn’t work, he’ll go with ingratiating.

“I’m sorry Mr. Shaw.  It’s been a long day.  Let me start over.  I’m here instead of a patrolman because we’ve been investigating suspicious activity in the woods bordering your house.  I’m not at liberty to give you the specifics, but I assure you the department is taking this incident seriously.”

Abbas lets him stew for a few seconds longer and then passes the ball to Mah, further throwing Sturgis off his game.  “I wasn’t with them or at the hospital so you’ll have to speak with the girls and Mrs. Monir.”  Sturgis looks between Mah and Abbas in confusion, but neither clears up the matter.  He turns to Mah, “Mrs. Monir…” but it’s more of a question than a statement.

“Yes, detective?”  Mah doesn’t know why, but her protective instincts come on full throttle.  There is something off about this man.  “If you can explain what happened?”

“Samantha and Sameen were in the woods when they came across a fire pit in a small clearing.  While looking around Samantha stepped onto a steel-jawed trap which snapped shut, trapping her foot.  Sameen got the trap opened and carried Samantha back to the house.  She called 911 and they were taken to the hospital, where I met them.  Samantha required seven stitches to her midfoot and will have to walk on crutches for a couple of weeks.” 

Sturgis seems to expect more since he looks at Mah expectantly.  But Mah has nothing else to say.  “Perhaps I could speak with the girls for more specifics?  I’d like to get an idea where the clearing is located in relation to the house and see if the girls recall any other details.”

Many things have changed over the years, but Sameen’s persistent eavesdropping is not one of them.  She comes into the living room before Mah replies and stares at Sturgis, her eyes masked.  She heard the conversation and she can tell by the detective’s tone and Mah’s attitude something’s not quite right.  “Root’s sleeping.  I can tell you what you want to know.”  Sturgis looks unsettled and he’s beginning to wonder if he’s bit off more than he can chew.  “Uh, Root?” he stammers.

“Samantha.”

Sturgis takes a deep breath, feeling he’s the one being interrogated somehow.  “Okay, I may need to talk to her though.”

“Not tonight,” Sameen informs him and Mah confirms her daughter’s assertion with a look.  Sturgis’ bloodshot eyes spark with a glower he can’t quite keep off his face.  He stares at Sameen with cold, sharp eyes.  But if he thought he couldn’t intimidate Mah, he has no prayer in hell with Sameen.  She doesn’t do scared.   

“Fine,” he snaps.  “Please start at the beginning and don’t leave anything out.”  Sameen gives him the same recap Mah did.  When he asks about the location of the fire pit, she draws him a map right into his notebook.  He was so shocked when Sameen snapped her fingers at him and gestured to it impatiently, he gave it to her, only snatching it back when she was done.

Then he asked a series of questions focusing on whether they’d seen anyone or anything else out there.  But there was nothing else to say so Sameen just kept nodding no.  But then he asked a question that set off alarm bells in Sameen’s mind.  “Did anything happen yesterday when you were in the woods?”

Mah looks at him perplexed and Sameen doesn’t so much as twitch.  “I’m sorry detective, you mean today right?”  He stares at Sameen for a heartbeat, but then seems to reconsider.  “Yes, I’m sorry.  I meant did anything else happen today.”  He lingers for another few minutes, but leaves when there’s nothing else to learn.  At least not today.

 

* * *

 

Root’s lying in bed with her laptop when Sameen checks on her.  “There was a detective here.  I told him you were sleeping and couldn’t talk to him.”

Root looks curious but not particularly left out.  “Why?”

“I didn’t like him.”  Sameen fills her in on the details, including what she overheard before she walked into the living room.  “But how would he know we were in the woods yesterday?  Maybe he really did misspeak Sam.”

“There is someone who knows we were in the woods yesterday.  Whoever shot at us,” Sameen reminds her somberly.  “I also saw a question underlined in his notebook.”

‘What do they know?’


	34. Don't Be Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m just going to start wearing a sign; don’t be stupid! No. If we get caught we don’t want to make them accomplices.”

The sound of Sameen’s soft grunts echo off the bare basement walls and the wood floor planks creek with every crunch.  Sweat rivulets pool on the floor beneath her, but she’s only focused on the repetitive motion; her normally racing mind calm and silent.  Until a guitar chord gradually intrudes on her thoughtless awareness.  The sound occurs in short repetitive bursts.  It grates on Sameen’s nerves with every strum and it doesn’t stop.  Strum, strum, strum.  But she refuses to interrupt her reps and waits until she’s done to figure out where it’s coming from.

She sits up while she wipes herself down and looks around.  The offending sound is emanating from Root’s computer.  Sameen groans internally; no good deed goes unpunished.  She stares at the Blue Screen of Death screensaver for a second before stopping it with a mouse wiggle.  When she clicks on the alert a screen shot of a credit report for someone named Ronald W. Carmichael appears.  At a glance, it appears Ronald’s in severe financial distress.  Who is this guy and why is Root tracking his financials?    

She debates just taking Root her computer, but she’s not done with her workout and doesn’t want to lose her rhythm.  But as her wrapped hands work the speed bag she glances at the laptop and can’t deny her curiosity’s piqued.  But she’s not going to snoop behind Root’s back.  So it’ll have to wait until she’s done.

 

* * *

 

Root’s hair is splayed on her pillow and her arm is thrown over her eyes, softly snoring.  It’s the only time Root’s not in motion, all the muscles on her expressive face relaxed.  Sameen navigates the minefield that is Root’s floor and leaves the laptop on her desk before making her way to their shared bathroom to shower.

Sameen likes her showers scalding and the steam quickly fills the bathroom.  She lets the water beat on her sore muscles for a few minutes and finds her thoughts turning to the mystery man Root’s clearly cyber-stalking.  She realizes until today she’d assumed Root kept no secrets from her; she’s not sure why.  The thought’s vaguely disturbing, but she pushes the feelings aside; it’s absurd to expect Root to tell her everything.   She sighs and grabs the washcloth, the slippery feel of the soap soothing her body if not her mind. 

 

* * *

 

Root opens her eyes, still somewhere between Morpheus’ realm and the third dimension.  As she yawn-stretches she notices Sameen standing in her doorway.  “Hey sweetie, come in.”  Sameen thinks about reminding Root for the hundredth time not to call her sweetie, but instead rolls her eyes and frowns.  It’s not like Root’s going to stop anyway.  Root sits up, flicking her sleep-mussed hair out of her face and sitting cross-legged, patting the bed in invitation.  Root can tell something’s on Sameen’s mind from the far-sighted look in her eyes.  “What’s up?”

“So uh I was downstairs working out when your computer started beeping.”  Root glances at her desk with dawning awareness and spots her laptop.  “Who’s Ronald Carmichael?”  Root brushes a stray strand of hair from her face and looks away for a second, giving herself time to think.  She’s never lied to Sameen and she’s not going to start now, but she’s not sure how to explain.  Usually she’s good at anticipating Sameen’s reactions, but this time she’s unsure. 

She meets Sameen’s intense stare with worry written on her face.  “He’s the psychiatrist.”  Sameen’s eyes widen slightly, but she only nods gently, reassuring Root she understands.  Root’s speaking calmly, but it’s like she’s telling a story lived by someone else.  Her tone’s flat and her gaze is ping-ponging, now avoiding direct eye contact. 

An uncomfortable realization invades Sameen’s thoughts.  She’d assumed Root had worked out her feelings about…well everything…in her therapy sessions with Anwen.  Over time Root shared her experiences and she mistakenly assumed it was Root’s normal tendency of sharing everything with her.  How could she be such an idiot?  Of course Root’s still angry and sad and probably a lot of other things Sameen can’t relate to.            

 “I wanted answers.  What kind of person could commit a healthy child to a psychiatric hospital?  Why?”  Root’s voice trembles a bit on the last word. 

“Why didn’t you tell me Root?”

“I thought you’d tell me to stop.”

“Stop?  Don’t be stupid.  You just can’t kill him.”  Root looks into Sameen’s eyes with cautious hope.  “Yeah?  You won’t tell on me?”  Sameen scowls at the question.  “Again, don’t be stupid.”

“Thanks Sam.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”  Sameen looks away, uncomfortable with the apology and the unadulterated affection in Root’s eyes.  “So what have you been doing?”

“After a little social engineering, I sent him an email embedded with my spyware.  It lets me monitor everything he does on his computer; banking, emails, chats, websites, pretty much anything.  He posts sexual fantasies about his patients on online forums and frequents a massage parlor that’s trafficking women from China.  He also cheated on his medical boards.”  Root wrinkles her nose, her nostrils flaring in disgust and contempt.

“Did you figure out why he signed off on your commitment?”

“Mary bribed him.  $5,000.  They sold and bought my life like cattle at an auction.  Turns out he’s also a desperate degenerate gambler.”  Sameen carefully schools her face, not wanting to discourage Root from continuing, but inside she’s seething.  “I found the proof he cheated on his medical boards and sent it to the National Board of Medical Examiners and the hospital where he completed his residency.  He’ll never practice medicine anywhere in the country again.”

“Why are you still tracking him?”

“I want him in prison.  It’s just a matter of time before he commits another crime.  He’s desperate, with no credit and a minimum wage job.”  The fate of anyone who hurt Root doesn’t concern Sameen.  She knows objectively maybe what Root’s doing is immoral, although she can’t see it; but so many things can go wrong. 

“What if you get caught?”

“I won’t.”

“You might; is it worth risking ou…your future for revenge?”

“It’s not revenge.  It’s justice.”  Root insists vehemently. 

Sameen can’t really fault her.  She’s not a hypocrite and she knows she’d react violently if she ever came across any of the people that hurt Root and her family.  “I get it.  But from now on you keep me in the loop; it’s not optional.”  Root should never have doubted Sameen’s loyalty; she’s been protecting Root since they were five.  “I promise.”

Then something occurs to Sameen.  “What about Mary?”

“She sold me again.”

Sameen furrows her brows and has a feeling she’s _really_ not going to like what Root’s about to say.  “What are you talking about?”  Root takes a deep breath.  “Do you know who Zoe Morgan is?”

“No, who is she?”

“She’s a friend of Mah and Abbas.  She went with Mah to Arizona when she came to get me.”

“Why?”

“Zoe’s what they call a fixer.  She solves problems discretely.  I’m not sure how Mah and Abbas know her and I never saw her.  I found her through Mary.  It wasn’t easy because unlike Carmichael, Mary doesn’t use the internet much; she still doesn’t have a computer.  But she did upgrade to a smart phone so I sent her my spyware.  Zoe did an extensive background check on Mary and that’s how I found her name.  I was curious, so I hacked her.  That’s when I found it.”

Sameen rolls her eyes and scowls.  “Get to the point Root.”

“Zoe found out Mary was defrauding the federal government by accepting benefits she wasn’t entitled to since I was hospitalized. I think Mah used the information to pressure Mary to sign the papers.”

“So how did Mary sell you?  I’m not getting it.”

“Mah and Abbas gave her $172,000.  It represented twice the money Mary would’ve gotten for me if she’d remained my guardian until age 18.  I’m not sure why; maybe Mah wanted to incentivize Mary to stay out of our lives.”  Root waits for Sameen to absorb the information.  She’s not sure how Sameen will react, although anger’s a good bet.

Sameen’s clenching and unclenching her fists, her face flushed and a roaring in her ears.  She takes deeps slow breaths, falling back on her training.  They sit in silence for a long time while Sameen visibly tries to reign in the explosive rage coursing through her. 

When she speaks her tone is calm, but hard as steel.  “So let me get this straight.  Mary committed you illegally to a psychiatric hospital, defrauded the federal government, and extorted us for $172,000?” 

Root bites her lip and nods yes.  She’s picking at her nails unconsciously.  “Do you regret it?”

“What?” Sameen asks, her eyebrows furrowed, because of course she regrets everything that happened and her inability to stop it.  Root looks down, clasping her hands nervously.  “That Mah and Abbas gave her the money?”

“Don’t be stupid.  Of course not; whatever it took to get you back was worth it.”  Root can’t help it; she sweeps Sameen up in a tight hug and tears leak from her eyes.  Sameen lets her hold it for 30 seconds and then gently pries her from her body and stands up to pace.  “So what are we doing to punish that bitch?”

“I stole all her money, almost $123,000.  I transferred it into an untraceable bitcoin account.  I took from her the only thing she cares about.  She’s living like a pauper on government assistance.”

“It’s not enough,” Sameen barks harshly.  “Why can’t we send the proof to the feds now that she’s signed the paperwork?  She’ll go to jail.”

“Maybe.  But I’m afraid Sam.  Right now she thinks her identity was stolen and that’s how she lost her money.  If the feds start to investigate, they’ll have to drag me into it.  What if she tries to challenge the guardianship?  She can claim extortion.  I don’t want to cause your family any more hardship.”

“Are you trying to piss me off Root?  We are in this together.  You are part of our family.  You’ve been part of our family since we met.  You know how you feel about those drawings?” she points to them vehemently.  Root nods yes quickly.  “Well that’s how I feel about this.  So never again imply you’re not part of this family.” 

“I’m sorry Sameen.”  Sameen just shakes her head and rolls her eyes.  “But I do agree with you.  We don’t want to risk anything coming back to bite us in the ass.  Stealing money from a bank is a federal offense.  We don’t want to make her suspicious that we’re involved in any way.  But we need to come up with something else too.  It’s great she lost the money, but it wasn’t hers to begin with; she needs to lose something she values more than money.  We just need to figure out what that is.”

“What about your parents?  Are we going to tell them?”  Root’s willing to do whatever Sameen thinks is best.  “I’m just going to start wearing a sign; don’t be stupid!  No.  If we get caught we don’t want to make them accomplices.”


	35. Shooting & Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're kind of hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short chapter so I can stay in touch with the girls and the plot. 
> 
> NOTE: I rewrote chapter 34. Personally I think its 1000% better and I encourage you to read it. But the same things happen with the same outcomes so if you want to skip it you won't miss a single thing.
> 
> Thanks to MayonnaiseJane for the inspiration to make it better and to Bruisespristine for the algorithm idea. If you haven't read their stuff already I HIGHLY recommend their work. They've both helped me become a better writer.
> 
> As always, feed the author!

Root leans against the cement wall of the viewing area, rubbing her bare arms to keep warm. The air conditioning blows a steady stream of cold and she’s freezing. Shell casings cover the floor behind the stalls, and every time someone starts shooting, a new batch goes flying, ricocheting off dividers and bouncing off the steel-toed boots of the range marshals.  Her heart slams in her chest at the noise and she squeezes her ear protection against her head to try and drown it out.

Sameen’s as close to smiling as she ever gets in public when the range marshal hands her a 9mm Beretta Nano.  She’s fired a few different guns in the short time she’s been coming to the range, but this is her favorite.  When she first saw it she thought it was an ugly mess, but the more she looked at the slide, the more it’s rather bizarre design became very appealing.  She chambers a round and takes aim.

All Root knows is after having to endure this, she’d better not hear a single word about accompanying her to the computer store.  She’s developing an algorithm that will give Sameen a way to find and watch hundreds of movies and TV shows; like Netflix on steroids.  Better selection and easier to search.  She’s been working on it for weeks, but there's still a ways to go.

What really bothers her isn’t the loud and sharp bangs as the guns are fired, although she’s always had sensitive ears; it’s the presence of so many armed people in such a confined space.  She feels vulnerable; like something bad could happen at any moment.  Even with therapy she’s never been able to shake the fear that someone will take her against her will.  Her experiences never involved guns, but the weapons just lend more credence to the possibility it _can_ happen, even if it’s unlikely. 

She hasn’t told Sam because she’ll come without her and what Root does love is watching her shoot; she’s so intense and fierce and… _consumed_.  Root thinks it’s kind of hot.  More than hot really.  And _that_ she definitely won’t be sharing.  Not yet anyway.

 

* * *

 

Root and Sameen ride on the escalator to the upper level of the mall, the crowd below shrinking to the size of bugs.  Sameen never thought there’d be such a large crowd of shoppers in the middle of the day on a Tuesday.  Don’t these people have jobs?  Or something better to do?  Sameen’s hatred for shopping is secondary only to skipping a meal.  The things she does for Root.

She’s idly listening while Root talks tech with a sales associate; there’s nothing here that interests her so she watches Root, feminine hands animatedly gesturing as she emphasizes her point.  Root’s affinity for all things tech has broadened Sameen’s horizons exponentially; in Root’s mind all puzzles are solvable.  But it’s not just computers; its eerie sometimes, the way Root can read people the same way she reads code; efficiently anticipating what action will cause her desired reaction. 

It’s also fascinating; the dichotomy.  Outwardly Root’s a friendly outgoing person, a little nerdy, but unaffected by the world around her.  But inside she’s passionate and spontaneous and uninhibited; and yeah she can be stubborn, often exasperating.  But it’s kind of hot too; sexy really.  Sameen will be keeping those thoughts to herself.

“Come on Root.  I’m hungry and you promised me lunch.”  


	36. Lt. Fusco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It occurs to Root maybe she’s not the only one playing the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters seem to be coming at me in snippets. I'm a little stuck on plot development. But if I wait to post, it'll turn into days until I get everything hammered out which means no updates so...here it is.

Sameen slows down and gets off her bike before coasting into their driveway.  Root stops a few seconds later, straddling hers and looking back at Sameen, eyebrows arched in question.  Sameen’s staring at a car parked on the curb.

“What’s up?”

Sameen’s slow to answer.  “That’s an unmarked police car.”  Root studies the car, but can’t see anything unusual about it.  “How do you know?”

“It’s riding on steelies and look at the cluster of antennas on the roof.”

A moment later the car door opens and a man hoists himself out, taking time to tuck his shirt in and straighten his tie.  His thin lips sport an ‘I’m harmless’ kind of smile, which does nothing to reassure the girls.  He ambles over, keeping a non-threatening distance between them. 

“Hi, I’m Lieutenant Fusco.”  When they don’t return the greeting, he sighs.  “I just want to ask you a few questions about the incident in the woods.  I was waiting for your parents, but they’re not home.”

“We’re not going anywhere with you and you’re not coming inside.” Sameen announces suspiciously. 

“No, of course not, I’m not trying to take you anywhere,” he rushes to explain.  “We can talk right here.  Or I’ll wait for your parents in the car.”

“We already talked to Detective Sturgis.  Why do you want to talk to us again?” Sameen scowls.  Root’s just observing the exchange, letting Sameen take the lead.  She never spoke to Sturgis and she doesn’t want to contradict anything Sameen may have already said.

“I just want to clear up a few details to help the investigation.”  Sameen stares him down and he looks away first.  He’s never met such an intimidating kid.  She’s going to be outright scary when she’s older he thinks.  The other one’s smiling at him, but it’s a little creepy.

“Fine, what do you want to know?”

Fifteen minutes later they watch Fusco drive away.

 

* * *

 

The natural light streaming through the windows casts a glow on Root’s face as she sits cross-legged on the couch.  Sameen’s gazing out the windows thoughtfully.  “Did you notice the kind of questions he asked us?”

Root shrugs her shoulders.  “I’m not sure what you mean.”  Sameen turns to look at her.  “He was more interested in what Detective Sturgis asked and said, than in what happened.”  Root thinks about it.  “True; almost like he was investigating Sturgis.”  The pieces click into place.  “I don’t think there’s any investigation related to the woods.  Maman said the president of the homeowner’s association didn’t know anything about it.  Wouldn’t you think the cops would start there?”

“So they’re actually investigating Sturgis.  But why?” Root muses.  She starts to walk away.  “Where’re you going?”

“To do a little research,” she smiles slyly.

 

* * *

 

They’re in the basement watching TV, Root sprawled on the loveseat with her feet resting on Sameen’s lap; her laptop’s on the floor running her customized search on Detective Sturgis.  So far Sameen hasn’t noticed Root’s pillowing of her feet, focused on her favorite movie. 

She’d decided to put their TV in the basement instead of her room or Root’s, expressing her disdain of Root’s movie choices.  Root just smiled.  Sure.  That’s the reason. 

Root plays this game where she touches Sameen clandestinely and waits for Sameen to notice.  She thinks Sameen’s figured out its deliberate; usually giving Root an eye roll and a scowl, making a show of pushing her away.  But recently it seems it takes longer and longer for Sameen to notice.  It occurs to Root maybe she’s not the only one playing the game.

 

* * *

 

Over dinner they tell Mah and Abbas about Fusco’s visit.  “I’m not comfortable with him just showing up like that,” Abbas frowns.  “If he comes over again when we’re not home, tell him to come back later, or better yet, call us to set a time.”  Abbas looks insistently at the girls; they know it’s not up for discussion.  “Okay bâbâ.”      


	37. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root’s beginning to understand there’s a road from Sameen’s eyes to her heart that doesn’t go through her brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a little longer to post but I had to work through a little writers block. (Thanks to MJ for helping with that and inspiring some of my best ideas!)
> 
> It's a little angsty, but nothing too bad. Sturgis was annoying me and I just wanted him gone. 
> 
> As always, comments welcomed and encouraged!

Considering the _situations_ Root and Sameen seem to continuously _stumble_ upon, Mah decides it’s time the girls have cell phones; which is why she finds herself in the parking garage of the mall.  She can’t envision what idiot designed such a poor one; low ceilings, narrow lanes, and since everyone seems to think they need a gas-guzzling SUV, the cars are all packed in and she has to drive up three flights before she finds a spot where she doesn’t have to crawl out the sunroof.

She’s surprised to find the mall so crowded considering its Wednesday mid-morning, but thankfully the AT&T store is empty.  Yet they still make her sign-in on the list to wait for a sales representative to be available, which takes about 10 seconds.  “Hi, my name is Miles Ouse, how can I help you today?”

“Hi Miles, I need two extra lines added to my account and purchase two phones.”

“Okay, right this way, let me just pull up your account.”  It takes over twenty minutes to get the lines added, which Mah can’t understand; it’s not like she’s porting a number or anything.  But she waits patiently because it’s obvious he’s trying.  “Okay Ms. Monir, we’re all set.  Which phone model did you have in mind?”  Mah uses her phone primarily for texts and calls, so she really has no idea about the differences among the smart phones.  “Nothing specific really.  But it should be something a techie can appreciate.”

“Well then I recommend the Samsung Galaxy.”  But when Miles starts talking to her about processor speed and internal memory, Mah decides to buy the phones and Root can exchange hers later if she wants.  She knows Sameen won’t really care.

 

* * *

 

When Mah gets home she heads for the basement, which is where the girls seem to be spending a lot of their time.  She can hear the TV, but when she gets to the bottom, both girls are asleep.  Sameen’s leaning back against the couch, her arm resting on Root’s shoulder, and Root’s curled up next to her.  As she turns to leave, Root stirs.

“Hey maman.”  She rubs her eyes sleepily and extricates herself from under Sameen’s arm.  Seconds later Sameen opens her eyes, feeling cold suddenly.  She groans and looks at Root accusingly.  “You woke me up,” she growls.  Root just ignores her.  She’s always grumpy when she wakes up.

Mah takes the boxes with the phones and hands them to Root.  Root’s eyes light up.  “Maman!” 

“Sam we have cell phones!” She enthuses.  Sameen seems indifferent, but she thanks Mah.  “Thanks maman.”  She rolls her eyes in Root’s direction.  “I’m sure Root will have hacked into every networked device in the neighborhood by dinner.”  Mah starts to disagree, but then reconsiders; it’s certainly possible.  She sighs gently and leaves the girls to their devices.

 

* * *

  

Its 2am but Root’s still up.  The only light is the glow of her screen and she’s listening to her nerd music on her wireless headphones.  Even during the day she uses the headphones because Sameen tells her the music is weird and makes faces at some of the lyrics.  The faces are funny, but the comments are not, so she’d rather use them anyway.

She’s been working on a hack to change the wallpaper and lock screen on Sameen’s phone.  Well technically it’s not a change since Sameen hasn’t bothered to choose anything so it’s still on the default settings.  The screen is calling out to Root’s inner hacker…’play with me!’  She’s already picked the wallpaper.  It’s a picture of Sameen at the shooting range. 

She takes lots of pictures when Sameen’s not paying attention.  Maybe it’s a bit stalkerish she knows, but Sameen won’t let her take pictures of her otherwise.  In the picture Sameen’s just fired the gun and the photo captures the muzzle flash; there’s a look of intense concentration on her face, but an obvious smile lurks on her lips.  She looks… _invincible_. 

Root catches a flash out of the corner of her eye.  She turns towards the window and sees a bobbing beam in the distance.  Someone’s in the woods with a flashlight.  Her first thought is Sameen went out there again, but she’d promised she wouldn’t and Sameen never breaks her promises.  Root considers whether to wake her up, but she knows if she does Sameen will want to go investigate and that worked out _very_ poorly the last time.  But her curiosity defeats her caution and she pads silently into Sameen’s room.

Sameen’s a very light sleeper and her eyes are open by the time Root reaches her bed.  She blinks her eyes groggily, “what wrong?” 

“Uh, nothing…”

More awake, Sameen rolls her eyes and groans.  “So what are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?”

“I saw something…”

Sameen doesn’t let her finish.  “Tell me tomorrow; let me sleep,” she growls a little forcefully.  Sameen hates to be woken up; as far as she’s concerned her bed is a place of worship and her sleep is holy.  Root bites her lips. That thought just sent her brain off on a tangent and her heartbeat grows a little erratic.  She pulls herself out of her head reluctantly.  Men in the woods.  Right.

“Sameen,” she whispers although she’s not sure why.  No one can hear her from outside and maman and bâbâ are asleep upstairs. 

Sameen’s hoping if she ignores Root long enough she’ll go away and let her sleep.  But now she’s curious.  When she thinks about it she knows Root wouldn’t be waking her up on a whim, so she sighs resignedly.  She sits up and stares at Root.  “This better be good or so help me Root…”

Root cuts her off.  “Someone’s in the woods.”  That garners Sameen’s undivided attention.  “What?!” she whisper-yells.  “Someone’s out there with a flashlight.  Come on, you can see it through my window.”  Sameen’s room also faces the back of the house, but she insisted on black-out curtains and Root doesn’t want to hassle with them.

Sure enough, it’s obvious there’s more than one person out there.  The beams are concentrated in one area.  Sameen estimates they’re maybe 800 yards but closer to the tree line behind the houses.  “What should we do?” Root murmurs.  Even Sameen isn’t reckless enough to rush into obvious danger without a weapon or a plan, although for a second Root can tell that’s exactly what she’s thinking.

Sameen feels it in her bones; it’s Sturgis out there.  Even though Root’s research didn’t turn up much, she did find a couple of internal affairs complaints for excessive force, but he was cleared both times.  She also found a Preliminary Complaint Report in which an alleged drug dealer claims the detective stole the majority of his drugs.  Sameen wonders what was in it for the drug dealer; it wasn’t like they were going to give him his drugs back.  But she’s sure it’s the reason Lt. Fusco’s investigating Sturgis.

She turns away from the window.  “Do you still have that card Fusco left us?”  Root nods and goes to her desk, rummaging for a minute until she finds it.  Sameen dials the cell phone number written on the back of the card.

It takes several long rings before someone answers.  “Fuso,” the voice rasps.  “This is Sameen Shaw.”  He sounds confused and disoriented with sleep.  “Who?” 

“You accosted us asking about Sturgis.”  He can’t see her but Fusco would swear the kid is rolling her eyes.  He remembers now; the intense girl and her friend with the crazy smile.  “There was no accosting!  I just asked you some questions!”

“Whatever.”

“Okay kid, why are you calling me at,” he glances at the clock on his nightstand, “2:30 in the morning?”

“People are wondering around the woods behind our house.  I think its Sturgis and his pals.”

She has Fusco’s attention now; he’s already getting dressed.  “Oh yeah, what makes you say that?”  Sameen shakes her head.

“I can add.  You should come investigate…maybe take your donut to go.”  Fusco would love to lecture the kid about respecting her elders but now is not the time.  “I’m on my way, but call 911.”

“No.  We’re not getting involved with you people again.  Besides they’re not right behind our house, they’re like 800 yards northwest.  For all we know the neighbors are roasting marshmallows and making smores.”  Fusco takes a second to be grateful he has a son and not a daughter, although this kid is something else altogether; but she’s not wrong.  He grabs his keys and rushes out, realizing she hung up on him!

Sameen disconnects and looks at Root, frowning.  “This cop doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.”

“Well sweetie maybe you shouldn’t have mocked him.”  Although Root’s words say she’s scolding, her eyes are full of mirth and she’s smiling; the one that makes her look a little crazy.  She winks at Sameen and Sameen shakes her head.  One of these days she’s going to tell Root she can’t wink for shit.

“Well, we’ve done all we can Sam.  Now it’s up to the cops.”  When Sameen doesn’t say anything Root looks at her; she’s seemingly lost in her thoughts.  Root doesn’t need a psychic to tell her what she's thinking.  “No, Sameen,” she announces emphatically.  Sameen looks at her innocently; except she can’t really do innocent so it ends up looking more like a grimace.  “We are not going out there.  _You_ are not going out there,” she emphasizes.

“I’m not saying we should go into the woods, Root.”  Root’s already shaking her head.  “No.”

“What if those guys start to leave before Fusco gets here?  They’ll escape and then we’ll still have to worry about whatever they’re up to practically in our backyard.  You got hurt and I’m not letting it happen again.”  Sameen walks back to her room and rummages in her closet.  Something shifts and an avalanche of Guns & Ammo falls on her head.  Root snickers until she remembers the seriousness of the situation. 

When Sameen emerges from the closet she’s holding a pair of binoculars.  “We won’t even get close.  We’ll just keep an eye on the street.  If we see them leave we’ll call Fusco.”

She can tell Root’s wavering…”No.”

Sameen looks at Root, her dark eyes sparking with anticipation; like innocent daemons, recklessly playing with matches.  Root melts a little; she knows one day those eyes will be her undoing.  Sameen senses her resolve weakening.  “Please Root…”  Root’s beginning to understand there’s a road from Sameen’s eyes to her heart that doesn’t go through her brain.

“Fine, but we’re only observing from a distance Sameen!” Root warns.  Sameen smiles smugly and Root just shakes her head.

 

* * *

  

“Get back here Sameen,” Root hisses as she tugs on her shirt.  Sameen sighs, clearly exasperated.  “We need to have a line of sight to the end of the road Root.  Otherwise we won’t be able to see them.”

Suddenly it dawns on Root.  “You know where they are!” She accuses.  Sameen cringes a little, a guilty look marring her face.  “Sameen!”  Root growls.  Sameen knows that voice; it’s the one warning her to come clean or face the consequences.  Said consequences being Root annoys the shit out of her; like the death of a thousand cuts.  Root’s imagination knows no bounds.

“Maybe.”  Root glares at her fiercely.  “I’m not sure, but I think they’re behind creepy postal worker’s house.” 

“You think Chuck Fields works with Sturgis?!”  Sameen just nods like, ‘duh.’  “Doing what?”

“Probably drugs.  But it could be anything.  Guns, stolen art, who knows?”

Root knows there’s no way she’s going to convince Sameen to go back to the house and she’s not leaving her out here alone.  “We’re only going to Jordan’s house,” she announces sternly.  “It’s close enough to see with the binoculars.”  Sameen really wants to get closer but she’s pushing her luck as it is.  When it comes to Sameen’s safety she knows Root won’t hesitate to get maman and bâbâ involved.  “Fine,” she huffs.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s a little bored and Root’s dozing, her head on Sameen’s shoulder.  So far there’s been nothing to see.  She wonders what’s taking Fusco so long.  Does he live on the other side of town or something?  She’s about to call him again, when she sees movement at the front door. 

Fields steps onto the porch; clearly his DMV photo hasn’t been updated in awhile.  His arms hang too long, like silly putty that’s been stretched too far.  A cigarette’s dangling from his lips, but from this distance, even with the binoculars, it’s hard to make out much detail.  He lingers a couple of minutes and then flips his cigarette butt into the yard, going back inside.

Root perks up when Sameen stands.  “See anything?”

“Not much.  Fields came out and smoked a cigarette then went back inside.  Nothing suspicious unless you consider being awake at almost 3am and air pollution a crime.”  Root shrugs her shoulders. Hopefully Fusco will be here soon and put an end to this mess.  Until then she’s keeping Sameen within arm’s reach.

Just as they’re about to resume their watch, Sturgis walks outside and Sameen pulls Root down roughly in her haste to make sure they’re not spotted.  They’re huddled under the hedge at Jordan’s house.  Most of the houses in the neighborhoods have garages and they’re only a few cars parked along the curb, providing sparse cover. 

Sturgis stares into the night slowly swiveling his head, sweeping the street with his eyes.  After a minute he crosses the street to a van parked on the opposite curb.  “Call Fusco Sam!”

“Wait.  I don’t think he’s leaving.  Fields hasn’t come out.”  Sturgis makes a u-turn reversing the van into the driveway.  He gets off, leaving the van running, and guides the door gently to the car frame, not actually closing it.  He takes another thorough look around, this time coming out to stand on the sidewalk.

Root’s holding her breath, hoping he’s doesn't decide to take a walk around the block.  But after a minute he turns and walks purposefully towards the front door.  She exhales sharply, relieved.  Sameen’s watching the house intently.  Root’s already dialing Fusco, but he doesn’t answer and she leaves an urgent message. 

“I’m calling 911.”  Sameen yanks the phone out of her hand.  “Sameen,” Root warns.  “We haven’t seen anything illegal or suspicious Root.  What do we tell cops when they get here?  There’s an idling van in the driveway?  We saw someone smoking a cigarette on the porch?”

Before they can decide on their course of action, Sturgis comes back out accompanied by a woman.  Sturgis’ body is mostly shielding her from Sameen’s view, but by the position of his arm it looks like he’s gripping her bicep as he practically pushes her towards the van.  The woman doesn’t seem to be struggling.  He opens the van’s rear doors and shoves her inside, disappearing after her for a couple of minutes.  When he comes out he leaves the van door open.  Sameen suspects they’re more women.

They’ve been swapping the binoculars back and forth and Root spots the next transfer.  This time it’s clearly visible the woman’s handcuffed and gagged.  Sameen calls 911.  But it seems the men are done; Fields is locking the front door, while Sturgis disappears into the back of the van with the women.

“We need a distraction,” Sameen whispers urgently.  Root’s been typing away on her phone and there’s an intense look of concentration on her face.  “Hold on…almost have it…”  Sameen waits impatiently, her eyes locked on Root.  Root’s holding her phone in both hands, her elegant fingers flying across the virtual keyboard; her long hair framing her sweat soaked face.  She’s biting her lower lip, her pale face flushed; Sameen can’t tell whether from the heat or their current circumstances.  Root looks fierce and dangerous and Sameen’s abs tighten, an unexpected feeling coiling just under her belly button.

Suddenly it’s the London Blitz and an air-raid siren splits the night.  Root’s grinning smugly, her eyes dancing with glee.  Sameen darts her attention back to the house and sees Fields desperately trying to get the front door open.  The noise must be freaking him out because he drops his keys twice.  Sturgis jumps out of the van, gesturing violently for Fields to leave it.

But the front door swings open and Fields disappears inside.  A few seconds later the sound cuts off and Fields rushes out of the house.  As they’re pulling out several squad cars arrive, blocking them in.  Sturgis gets out of the van and waves something, probably his badge, at the officer who now has his gun trained on him.  But the officer doesn’t stand down, keeping Sturgis squarely in his gun sights.  Meanwhile Fields spills from the van, running towards the back of the house.  Two other officers give chase and a couple of minutes later appear dragging a handcuffed Fields with them.

Sameen’s phone starts ringing and she looks at the screen.  “Shit.  It’s maman,” she groans.  She answers reluctantly, listening for a minute without saying anything.  Mah must’ve disconnected the call because Sameen stares at her phone for a second with her eyebrows scrunched.  She sighs slowly and looks at Root.  “We need to get back.”

 

* * *

 

Abbas and Mah are waiting on the front porch when Root and Sameen trudge up the walkway.  Mah’s clearly relieved to see them but the scowl never leaves her face.  She turns, walking back into the house without a word.  Abbas just shakes his head disappointedly and it hits Sameen harder than her mother’s anger.  She’s never seen that look on her father’s face.

Mah’s pacing in the living room while Sameen and Root sit on the couch.  She looks at them and sighs, sitting across from them.  “The important thing is you’re both safe.  Now we want to know why you snuck out in the middle of the night.”  Mah and Abbas already suspect Sameen and Root have something to with the alarm that startled them awake and the squad cars they heard screeching past the house.  Mah doesn’t believe in coincidences.

Root looks away guiltily while Sameen stoically explains.  When she’s done, its obvious Mah has no idea where to start.  She shares a glance with Abbas before looking back at them.  “You’re both grounded.  We’ll discuss everything else in the morning.”

“It’s not Root’s fault maman.  I talked her into it.”

“No maman, it’s my fault.  I should’ve stopped her.”

At any other time Mah would be smiling at the girls united front; not that she expected any less.  It’s always been the same.  But right now she’s not impressed.

 

* * *

 

“So are you going to tell me how you did it?”

“Did what sweetie?”  Sameen rolls her eyes at the endearment but lets it slide.  At this point she’d be shocked if Root didn’t use it.

“The alarm Root.”  Root smiles smugly.  “Hacked the wi-fi and triggered his home security system.  Cool, right?”  Sameen rolls her eyes again.  “Served its purpose anyway.”  Root can hear the begrudging admiration in her tone. 

She looks at Sameen, her eyebrows scrunched.  “I’m glad it worked.  But I don’t know why Fields just didn’t ignore it and get in the van.”

“He didn’t know the cops were already on the way.  But if he didn’t deactivate it and take the call from the alarm company, they would’ve been dispatched.  The last thing he wanted was to draw attention.  I just can’t believe Sturgis was stupid enough to stash the girls there in the first place.”

At the mention of the girls Root gets a faraway look in her eyes and whispers painfully.  “You think they’ll be okay Sam?  What were they going to do with them?”  Sameen wishes, not for the first time, she could erase Root’s painful memories.  “Too many possibilities Root; none of them good,” she answers honestly.

They hear the doorbell ring and realize simultaneously it can only be one person.  “Fusco.” 

Sameen immediately sneaks into the hall to listen.  Root sighs, but follows her.  “We’re going to be grounded for the rest of our lives if they catch us Sam.”  Sameen just shushes her, not bothering to respond.

He introduces himself and probably gets a distasteful look from Mah and Abbas since they’re still not too happy he talked to Root and Sameen without their presence.  “I don’t have a lot of time right now; I need to get to the station, but I wanted to make sure the girls are alright.”  His tone is equal parts kind and apologetic.  “Yes Lieutenant, they’re fine.  But my husband and I are not fine with your getting them involved in a criminal investigation.”  Fusco wants to ask if they’ve _met_ Sameen, the unstoppable force of nature, but wisely keeps his mouth shut.

“They could’ve been hurt,” Mah points out indignantly.  She’s looking like she’s going to throttle Fusco so Abbas places his hand at the small of her back reassuringly; having to bail Mah out of jail for assaulting a police officer would be an inconvenient complication.

Fusco makes the mistake of trying to explain.  “I didn’t know what they were up to until Sameen called me in the middle of the night.”  It sounds like he’s trying to defend his actions and Mah narrows her eyes at him; Abbas intervenes before the situation escalates.  When Mah’s in protective mode there’s nothing she won’t do.  “Lieutenant it’s late.  But we expect you to come by tomorrow and explain everything.”

“Sure…of course,” Fusco stutters before Abbas gently but firmly closes the door on him.  Root and Sameen scurry back to their bedrooms before they get caught.  That would be their version of an inconvenient complication.

 

* * *

 

After breakfast Mah ushers the girls into the living room.  Sameen’s glad at least she got to eat first.  “Start at the beginning and don’t leave anything out,” Mah tells them calmly.  Sameen jumps in before Root can say anything; her dramatic retellings usually land them in more trouble.  She leaves out the part about their initial ‘investigation’ and Root waking her up in the middle of the night.  She’d like to see the light of day sometime before she’s 18.

Before Mah can say anything the doorbell rings.  She sighs, clearly annoyed, and goes to answer the door.  She comes back with Fusco in tow; he’s looking very uncomfortable.  There’s a stain on his tie and overall he’s…rumpled.  Sameen asks herself how this guy made it onto the force, much less risen to the rank of lieutenant; maybe he scored well on shooting the cardboard cutouts.

Normally Fusco wouldn’t give a civilian any information on an ongoing investigation but these are extenuating circumstances and he gets a feeling Mah wouldn’t settle for less.  As Sameen suspected, the investigation into Sturgis’ activities was triggered by the complaint resulting from the drug bust.    

“I’m not defending their actions, but Root and Sameen saved those girls’ lives.  Without them, Fields and Sturgis would’ve gotten away with it for who knows how long.  I suspected he was moving drugs for one of the local gangs, but there’d been no clue he was trafficking women.”  Sameen rolls her eyes, not at all surprised Fusco hadn’t figured it out, but Root smiles at him fondly.  He’s doing his best to portray their actions in the best light possible when there’s nothing in it for him.  He shoots them a last sheepish and somewhat apologetic look as Mah walks him to the door.

When she comes back, Mah gazes at the girls thoughtfully.  She can’t even imagine the heartbreak if anything happens to either one of them; her love for them is overwhelming and she can’t picture a life without them.

“Bâbâ and I are at a loss girls.  Your only mistake was not telling us about the situation; both what you found in the woods and what you suspected, especially last night before you went sneaking out of the house running headfirst into a dangerous situation. 

We’re very proud you both have such a strong sense of justice and a selfless determination to get involved.  I think we’ve shown you repeatedly we’ll always support you.  So I have a question.  Why don’t you trust us?”

Sameen looks away in shame and silent tears start a track down Root’s face.  She trusts maman and bâbâ unquestioningly to her very core.  They gave her a life; better than anything she imagined when she cried herself to sleep at night in misery and pain, blaming herself and believing she was defective, like bad code.  Sameen knows her parents would do anything for her.  She’s reminded every time she looks at Root, no longer remembering what life was like without her.

Mah’s intent is not to make them feel bad and their reactions tear at her soul, but she needs them to think about how their actions impact the family, not just themselves.  She needs to convince them they can come to her and Abbas with absolutely anything and they’ll work it out together.  But Sameen looks like she’s shutting down and Root’s sobbing and Mah sighs deeply.  Maybe she handled this all wrong, but it’s too late now. 

Root reaches out for Sameen’s hand, something she rarely does anymore.  Sameen doesn’t hesitate and intertwines their fingers.  It’s now obvious to Mah she handled this very poorly.  She gets Root a glass of water and gives them a few minutes alone, knowing Sameen’s better at comforting Root than she’ll ever be.

When she comes back Root’s calmed down and Sameen looks like she’s back in the room.  “I’m sorry girls.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  We love you very much and it terrifies us something could’ve happened to either of you.”  She decides to move on; afraid anything else she says at this point will make things worse.

“Bâbâ and I changed our minds.  You’re not grounded.  Instead we’re going to work together as a family.  You’ve both reminded us how important it is to get involved and help people who need it.  So every Saturday we’re going to volunteer for two hours at Stronger Together.”  When they look confused Mah explains.  “It’s a shelter specifically for women and their children.  They're the fastest growing demographic among the homeless population.  The shelter also provides job training, child care, and basic medical care.”  A small smile appears on Root’s face and the muscles in Sameen’s face lose some of their tension.  “Now go enjoy your day.”  Mah smiles, reassuringly she hopes, and places a kiss on Root’s head, squeezing Sameen’s shoulder gently.

 

* * *

 

“Sam, do you think maman and bâbâ are still mad at us?”  Sameen sighs.  Even all these years later she knows Root still struggles to accept maman and bâbâ love her and they always will, no matter what she does.  Sameen’s the only one she never doubts, which is ironic considering Sameen’s inability to feel love the way other people do.  But over time she’s come to understand Root prefers Sameen’s way of moving through the world.  Something about being true like an arrow.  It’s weird like a lot of Root’s other ideas, but she’s not wrong.  Sameen will never abandon her. 

“No Root.  They were never really angry, just scared and a little disappointed.  It’s my fault; I never should’ve dragged you into it.”

“Oh no, Sameen; don’t you dare.  We’re a team; always.  So don’t go getting any ideas about leaving me out of things.”  Root’s dead serious, her eyes challenging Sameen to say anything different.  Sameen rolls her eyes.  It’s annoying how well Root understands her.

“Don’t be stupid Root.”


	38. Sturgis

Sameen’s cleaning the scrape and trying to apply antibacterial ointment, which is not as easy as it sounds because Jack’s a wiggler.  “Stop.  Moving.”  Jack freezes immediately.  All the kids are a little intimidated by Sameen’s demeanor, but they flock to her anyway.  Mah would’ve never guessed Sameen would take to the children so easily.  She’s by far their favorite volunteer at the shelter.

“Sameen, read us a story.”  Because Sameen does funny voices.  “Sameen, I scraped my knee.”  Because she tells them jokes to distract them.  “Sameen, will you play with us?”  Because in their eyes Sameen can do everything.  She teaches them how to dribble and throw a football and kick a soccer ball and she invents the coolest games.

Root’s also developed her own following among a different demographic.  She’s teaching computer classes to both the children and the adults.  The adults appreciate the help preparing resumes and improving their skills for better employment and the kids think it’s a lot of fun.  Mah’s been keeping an eye to make sure Root’s not teaching the kids some of her more ‘advanced’ computer skills.

Both of them have started going to the shelter most days after school for an hour or so.  Root goes for the younger kids.  When Mah asked her about it one day Root just gave her an enigmatic smile and shrugged her shoulders.  But Mah thinks she understands.  A lot of the mothers at the shelter are running from abusive partners and the children by and large have also been abused.  Obviously Root can relate. 

Sameen insists she only goes to make sure Root stays out of trouble.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s looking for Root so they can get going.  She’s hungry and the shelter’s great but the food could use some improvement; actually a lot of improvement.  She’s finds her in the computer room talking to T, one of the shyest kids at the shelter and the youngest.  Something about the tone of Root’s voice makes Sameen change her mind about interrupting.

“Your father’s wrong.  You’re not bad,” she’s explaining patiently.  “Sometimes our parents hurt us T, but it doesn’t mean they’re right.  My mother used to hurt me and I thought I was bad and no one would ever like me.  But then I met Sameen and she taught me there were a lot of things I could do and she liked me, and she made me part of her family.  I learned it’s not being related that makes someone family.”  Root’s voice is cracking and Sameen feels a deep pang inside.  T looks far from convinced but Root knows once a parent robs a child of their innocence, it takes a long time to understand you deserve to be loved and happy.  Root gives her a hug and watches T walk over to get her snack with the other kids, looking a bit cheerier.

Root looks into Sameen’s eyes and Sameen realizes Root knew she was there all along.  She comes over and links her arms with Sameen.  “Let me guess; you’re hungry,” she says with a smile.  Sameen waits an extra 15 seconds before disentangling herself.

 

* * *

 

They’re racing home on their bikes and Root’s pulled way ahead.  Her longer legs give her an advantage and its one of the few areas where she can compete with Sameen and actually win.  She hears tires screeching behind her and turns to see a van blocking the street.  She can’t see Sameen and turns back immediately to make sure she’s okay.  There’s something wrong about the way the driver’s looking at her.  “Root run!”  Root can’t parse what’s happening but the sound of Sameen’s voice, strained and angry, makes her peddle faster toward the van.  But before she can reach her, Root hears the door slamming and the van accelerates almost running her down as it races away. 

Root follows it for as long as possible before the van gets too far ahead.  She stops to catch her breath.  It’s not just the exertion; a deep fear swamps her body.  After a few seconds she forces herself to snap out of it.  This isn’t helping get Sameen back.  She calls 911 and gives them the license plate number of the van, explaining her friend’s been kidnapped; then she calls Mah.

The police are already on site when Mah arrives.  “Root!  Are you okay?  What happened?”  Mah tries to remain calm but she can’t help the thread of panic in her voice.  Root’s been trying to tell the cops she can trace Sameen, but no one’s really listening to her.  The story of her life it seems.

“Mah, I can find Sameen,” Root tells her urgently.  Mah always listens to Root.  “How?”

“I put an app on her phone.  We can trace her.  But they won’t listen.”  Mah makes them listen and at the same time calls Fusco.  These cops are doing everything they can, but they’re just patrolmen.  They’re waiting for a superior to come on scene to guide them.

Fusco arrives within a few minutes; he was already in route to their house.  He called the station on his way to make sure the computer expert doesn’t leave.  He doesn’t bother to get out of the car.  He screeches to a halt and yells at Mah out the window.  “Get in!”  He flashes his badge at the officer in charge of the scene as Root and Mah get in the car.  “We’ll be at the 8th,” he shouts as he puts the car in gear.

“What’s going on Lieutenant?!  Tell me right now!”

Fusco glances at her worriedly as he tries to navigate traffic, siren blaring.  “It’s Sturgis.  They made bail this morning.  I just found out.”  Mah closes her eyes for a second, but she’ll panic later.  The minute they reach the station she calls Abbas.

Root gives Mah a desperate look.  The officer running the trace based on Sameen’s GPS coordinates is good, but he’s obviously not in Root’s league and he doesn’t have her speed.  Mah hooks her foot around the swivel chair and pulls him away.  He’s rolled a few feet before he recovers.  “Hey!  She can’t…”  Fusco’s not sure what Root can do, but from what he’s seeing there’s a city map on the screen with a blinking light.  Their officer was still trying to transfer the information from the app.

“Stand down, Harris.  She’s got this.”  The officer huffs and stands behind Root’s shoulder.  But he can’t disagree; the kid’s definitely faster than him.  He pales a little when he realizes she just loaded her own program onto their server.  That shouldn’t even be possible. 

Fusco’s on the phone with HRT, getting them ready to roll as soon as they have a location.  As he suspected, the van was stolen so it’s a dead end.  It takes over a ½ hour before the signal stays stationary.  Root gives Fusco the location.  “I’m going with you…,” Mah starts.

“No.  I can’t be worried about you and Sameen.  HRT knows what they’re doing.  Let us handle this; I’ll call you as soon as we’ve got her.”  Mah can’t argue with his logic even though every ounce of her being tells her to go to her child.  Abbas arrives and Mah brings him up to speed as Fusco leaves.

“Abbas, if something happens to Sameen…”

“She’s going to be okay, Mah.  Sameen’s resourceful.  We have to keep it together for Root.”  Mah looks around at the same time Harris starts asking about his laptop.  Root’s gone.

 

* * *

 

The hostage negotiator is already on scene by the time Fusco arrives, but they haven’t made contact with the kidnappers yet.  The HRT commander is strategizing with his team in case it becomes necessary to breach.  Fusco’s directing the patrolmen to evacuate the surrounding buildings.  Luckily this is more of an industrial area so there aren’t too many people to worry about.

They have Sameen in a warehouse but even Root’s GPS can’t tell them where exactly in the building.  ‘Why’s it always a warehouse,’ Fusco wonders.  He’s distracted when he hears an officer yelling.  “Come back here!  You can’t go back there!”  Fusco turns to see Root racing towards him.  It’s almost comical how the officer tries to breathe as he chases Root.  How he passes the yearly physical is anyone’s guess.

When Root reaches him, Fusco grabs her firmly by the arm.  “How’d you even get here?!”

“I was in the trunk of your car.  But that’s not important.  Listen to me!”

“I’m going to have this officer drive you to the station even if I have to handcuff you,” Fusco warns.  “Look!”  Root thrusts the laptop at him and Fusco glances down at the screen.  The picture’s a little grainy and dark...  “Is this what I think it is?”

“I hacked the cameras.  I can do the power too.  Let me help.”  Fusco was already working on a warrant, but even when it’s approved, it will take them time to set up the equipment.  “Come with me.”  He escorts her over the HRT van.  Before he talks to the commander he asks Root, “Can you type with one hand?”

“Yes, but…”  Before she can finish her sentence Fusco has her handcuffed to the door handle. 

The commander seems incredulous and indignant Fusco would let a civilian, a kid no less, take part in his operation.  “Look, I get it but the kid’s a genius…she can do…stuff….”  The commander looks at him, disgust written on his face.  But before he can say anything else one of his technicians calls him over.  Evidently Root convinced him to listen to her.  He shakes his head but walks over.

“She’s hacked into the security cameras inside the building.  We can’t see every room but it’s a pretty comprehensive layout.  If we can get a microphone inside she can amplify the signal and we’ll probably be able to hear them too.”  The commander shakes his head disbelievingly.  All Root can think is they’re wasting time.  “Please.  Just save her.  I can help.”

“Fine,” he decides exasperated.  But he shakes his finger at Fusco.  “We’re not done.”  Fusco figures if the rescue is successful, he’ll be off the hook.  If not…well then he’s back to patrol.  At least it’s less paperwork.  He makes sure to have a patrolman call the station and let Mah know Root’s okay.

Root’s frustrated its taking too long.  Finally she just calls Sameen’s cell phone, patching through the laptop so they can all hear.  “I’m not interested in negotiating,” a man answers.  “If you hurt her…”  But when he hears the voice through the speaker Fusco realizes what she’s done and yanks the phone away from her, thrusting it at the negotiator.  This kid is going to be the end of his career.

HRT finally manages to get a parabolic mic close enough to a window.  The kidnapper’s voice helps them narrow down his location so they can get even closer.  The audio’s ten times better than the video; cheap-ass security cameras Root thinks.

It’s definitely Sturgis.  Root recognizes his voice; along with half of the cops on scene.  “I know how this works.  You even try to breach and the kid’s dead.”

“I’m not going to lie Sturgis; you’re going to prison.  But you can cut yourself a deal if you help us shut down the trafficking ring.  So long as nothing happens to Sameen.”  The line goes dead.

Root feels dread coursing through her veins and she thinks she’s going to pass out.  Fusco notices her face go ashen, which is saying a lot considering her pale complexion.  “We’re going to save her kid.”

Root takes a few deep breaths, finally looking like she’s not going to faint.  “My name is Root.”

The warrant comes through and HRT finally gets a camera into the room where Sameen’s being kept.  Now that they don’t need her help, they’ve shut Root out, using their own computers.  Root shakes her head; she’s not going to argue.  She just hacks.

She barely holds back a scream when she finally sees Sameen.  She’s on the floor, but not moving.  The HRT guys start strategizing.  “He’s not going to surrender.  He’ll kill her and then suicide by cop.”

Root goes numb and her brain goes blank.  This can’t happen.  Not again…and this time there won’t be any hope to sustain her.  She needs Sameen.  In her life Sameen is…everything.  Even worse, there’s nothing she can do.  She feels rage at her helplessness.  This calls for a skill beyond Root’s abilities.  But there has to be something she can do.  Her brain is her best weapon for now.  So think.  She needs to snap out of it.

There has to be something they haven’t thought of yet.  No one’s as motivated as she is to rescue Sameen.  Thinking outside the box isn’t enough; she has to ignore the box.  Even at her age, Root’s already extremely skilled at hacking people, not just computers.  So what is it about Sturgis?  She looks around at everything and nothing, shutting out everything going on around her.

Why here?  Until the cops arrived Sturgis had no idea they were onto him.  It seems clear to Root he always intended to kill Sameen.  So what is it about this place?  Escape route?  Disposal site?  Root figures it’s a long shot but she hacks into the building department to find the original plans for the warehouse.  It takes a couple of minutes to get through the layers of data to find it, but when she does she holds her breath.  Can it really be this simple?

“Fusco!”  Fusco rolls his eyes but he’s beginning to learn to listen to the crazy kid.  He walks over and Root tries to grab his arm and almost drops the laptop.  She sighs, exasperated; she’d forgotten about the handcuffs.

“What am I looking at?”

“It’s the building plans.  See this?  There’s direct access to the sewer system in the basement.  They never bothered to seal it; they just built the warehouse over it.”

The commander finally seems impressed with Root.  He looks at her closely.  “You think you can cut the power to just the warehouse on my signal?”

“Of course.”

The team enters through the sewer system and sets up as close to the target room as possible.  As Root cuts the power, the team breaches.  They manage to capture Sturgis without gunfire or risking Sameen’s life.  One of his eyes is swollen shut and there’s dried blood and a nasty scrape down one arm.  But Sameen’s unconscious. 

When Root hears the ambulance she knows something’s wrong.  She watches the paramedics rush inside.  By the time they bring Sameen out, Root’s standing by the ambulance doors.  “How did you…”  But then Fusco looks closer at her hand.  “You broke your finger!  Are you crazy?!”  He’s flushed and he can’t utter a coherent statement.

The paramedics slide the stretcher inside and Root blocks the door.  Fusco just gives up.  She’ll probably steal a squad car next if he doesn’t let her go with Sameen.  “Maybe you can set her finger before you get to the hospital.”  Fusco doesn’t even want to see Mah’s reaction.  Maybe early retirement wouldn’t be so bad.

 

* * *

 

Sameen hasn’t regained consciousness.  She suffered some type of blunt force trauma to the head and they rushed her into surgery after a CT confirmed intracranial bleeding.  Root can’t wrap her head around it.  They drilled a hole in Sameen’s head to drain the blood.  It feels like a dream.  She’s so cold. They’ve transferred her to the ICU.  Mah’s with her now and they say only one person can see her at a time.

Abbas brings her a hot chocolate and gets a blanket from one of the nurses to wrap around Root.  They wait together in silence for awhile.  “Bâbâ, is Sameen going to be okay?”  Abbas sighs gently.  “She’s very strong Root.  I believe she will.”  But he sounds scared.

Root blames herself for pulling ahead in some stupid attempt to win the race.  Maybe if they’d been together they could’ve fought Sturgis off.  Also Root hasn’t said anything, but there was someone else with Sturgis when he took Sameen.  He wasn’t driving and abducting her simultaneously.  She’s pretty sure it was Fields although she couldn’t swear to it.  There was too much going on at once.

She sees Fusco get off the elevator.  He looks worried.  “How’s Sameen?”  Abbas updates him.  Fusco pulls him aside.  Root’s always wondered why adults think walking a foot away and turning your back means you can’t hear them.  “We found Fields.  He was in the warehouse.  It looks like Sturgis shot him in the back of the head.”

“Good.  I’m glad he’s dead.”

Fusco looks at Abbas guiltily.  But Abbas would rather Root know than be worried there was someone else out there looking to harm them.  He doesn’t tell Root she shouldn’t feel that way.  He feels it himself.  “I know Root.  I know.”

 

* * *

 

Mah’s sitting at Sameen’s side holding her hand.  She wishes she believed in some higher power.  But all she has is science.  Right now it doesn’t seem like enough.  She glances up and sees Root standing at the foot of the bed.  She doesn’t scold her.  Sameen would want her here.  She gestures for Root to come closer.

Root stands next to Mah looking at Sameen’s chest rise and fall.  Suddenly she feels like a ton of bricks smashed down on her and she starts to sob.  She can’t see through the tears and she grips the bed railing so tight her hand turns white.  “I’m sorry Sameen,” she gasps.  Mah immediately hugs her from behind.  “This is not your fault Root.  If it weren’t for you, we might never have found her in time.  If I were you I’d work on an excuse to explain why you put a tracker app on Sameen’s phone,” Mah laughs gently.  Root gasps and her chest lightens a little so she can breathe easier.

Mah finds it impossible to make Root at least nap and eat regularly.  She wants to spend every moment at the hospital.  When Mah puts her foot down and insists Root stay home, she calls an Uber while Mah’s showering.  Mah can’t blame her.  She and Abbas have been taking turns sitting with Sameen during visiting hours.  Root, however, seems to find a way to sneak in at any time.  The nurses have gotten tired of chasing her out of the unit.  So now as long as she stays out of the way they let her sit with Sameen.

When Sameen opens her eyes for the first time, it’s Root she sees.  Root’s dozing; her head by Sameen’s hip as she holds her hand.  “Hey Eyeore,” Sameen croaks.  Root snaps awake.  “Sameen!” She steps out quickly to tell the nurse Sameen’s awake then she calls Mah. 

Now that Sameen’s awake Root can’t bear to look at her; her guilt overwhelming.  Thanks to Sameen Sturgis didn’t even know what Root looked like.  She’d never let Root talk to him the day he came to the house.  He probably thought Sameen was alone since Root was so far ahead.  She should’ve been by her side or done something.  Maybe blocked the van somehow.  So she only goes into the room when Sameen’s sleeping.  Sameen catches glimpses of her sometimes, but she thinks she knows why Root’s not coming to see her.  She’d probably feel the same if the situation was reversed.

But she can’t let Root feel guilty forever.  She gives her a couple of days and then asks Mah to use her phone, since Sameen’s was taken for evidence and Mah hasn’t gotten her new one.  Mah knows immediately why Sameen wants it.

When Root gets the call she sees Mah’s number and immediately thinks something’s happened to Sameen.  “Mah, is everything alright,” she asks anxiously.  “No, the food here sucks.  I expect you to bring me a cheeseburger; I’m starving,” Sameen answers nonchalantly.  “Sameen…”

“I’ll see you when you get here.  Oh and French fries too.  A shake wouldn’t be bad either…” Sameen continues her order.  “Oh, and don’t let them see you.  They have some ridiculous idea I should be eating the hospital food.”  Root doesn’t get a chance to answer before Sameen hangs up.  She knows better than to give Root time to make excuses.  Mah can’t help but grin.  Sameen’s always known exactly what Root needs.

Root looks at her phone.  Sameen wants to see her.  She didn’t sound angry.  “Bâbâ…we need to go to the hospital, but we need to make a stop first.  Sameen’s hungry.”

When Root gets there Mah decides to grab some lunch with Abbas to give Root and Sameen time alone for the first time since Sameen woke up.  Root can’t quite bring herself to meet Sameen’s eyes, so she just hands over the bag with the food.  But after a few seconds she realizes Sameen’s not taking the bag.  She sighs and meets her friend’s eyes.  “Did you get the…”

“…honey mustard,” Root finishes for her, nodding yes.  “Good.”  Sameen turns to her lunch and Root starts to walk out of the room.  “Where do you think you’re going Root?”

Root turns around reluctantly.  “Sameen, I’m…”  But Sameen doesn’t let her finish.  “Don’t.  If he’d captured you too we’d both be dead.  There would’ve been no one to find us.  He killed Fields right in front of me.  The guy’s looking at me one second and the next his brains are splattered all over the wall.  He was already aiming at me, but he heard the call over the radio.  He yelled ‘fuck’ and kicked me in the head.  If anything it’s my fault.  I’m the one who insisted on figuring out what was going on in the woods.”

Root searches Sameen’s eyes, wanting to believe Sameen really doesn’t blame her and then smiles shyly.  Sameen rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “Get it over with, but only five seconds,” she warns.  Root throws herself on the bed, hugging Sameen hard.  She goes over her allotted seconds but Sameen pretends not to notice.  “My food’s getting cold Root.”

 

* * *

 

Root’s in the basement coding with her headphones on when Sameen finds her.  She looks at Root oddly.  Root turns down the volume.  “What’s wrong Sam?  Are you okay?”  Root starts to worry.  “Sam…?”

“That was Fusco.”

“Oh?”  That’s when Sameen knows.  She can see it in Root’s eyes.

“Sturgis is dead.  Insulin overdose.”

Root doesn’t look away.  “I’m not sorry,” is all she says as she turns the volume back up.    


	39. Back to School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root and Shaw go back to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short chapter to end the summer and move along. It picks up immediately from the previous chapter.

Sameen drops down onto the couch next to Root wordlessly.  She doesn’t have to ask how or why.  She’s just wondering if she should feel bad about it.  She doesn’t; if she could’ve killed him herself she would’ve.  He certainly would not have hesitated to kill her even though she was unarmed and defenseless.  But without a doubt maman and bâbâ would be horrified.  But she has faith in Root skills; no one but them will ever know.

She gazes thoughtfully at Root coding next to her, head bobbing to the music.  After a second she taps Root’s shoulder.  Root looks over and must see something on Sameen’s face because she takes off the headphones and sets aside the computer.  She looks at Sameen warily, but Sameen just smiles gently.  “Thanks.”  Root relaxes when she realizes Sameen’s not mad or disgusted with her.  “No one’s ever going to take you from me again,” she says simply.

 

* * *

 

Root’s been coming to the range with her ever since the incident with Sturgis.  Sameen finds it hard to believe Root’s the same person who used to cringe at the sound of the gun shots even through her ear protectors.  Now she’s almost as good a shot at Sameen.  She gets this wicked smile when she’s shooting and it does new but not unpleasant things to Sameen’s body.  Sameen’s not stupid, but denial’s a powerful thing.

School starts tomorrow and Sameen hopes it’s more challenging than she’s found school to be thus far.  She and Root have all AP classes; Root hacked into the school’s systems so their schedules match except for their electives.  Root’s taking a computer science class she’s more than qualified to teach, but she figures it’ll be another hour a day she can spend coding or hacking.  Sameen’s taking auto mechanics to indulge her love for cars.

 

* * *

 

“Root, get up,” Sameen almost yells impatiently.  “I’m not going to be late; so you either get up or I’m leaving without you.”  Root looks at her grumpily from under the covers.  “Who ever thought starting school so obscenely early was such a great idea?” Sameen just rolls her eyes.  “It starts at 8:30 Root; not exactly dawn.”

“Might as well be,” she moans.  Sameen rolls her eyes and heads to the kitchen.  She’s going to grab something quick to eat and leave; Root’s on her own.

But 10 minutes later while Sameen’s getting her bike, Root rushes out to join her.  Sameen laughs; she can’t help it.  Root has bed hair and mismatched socks and her face still shows creases from her pillow.  “Not nice Sameen,” she scowls.  Sameen’s grin just gets wider, but she throws Root an apple and Root’s scowl quickly morphs to a grateful smile.  Sameen pedals off without another word.

It only takes five minutes to get to school so they have plenty of time to find their home room.  They find seats at the back like they’ve been doing since fifth grade.  Sameen’s wearing her typical ‘don’t even think of talking to me’ look while Root studies the other students curiously.  She doesn’t recognize anyone but it’s not unexpected since the move to the new house put them in another school district.  There’s the typical attendance taking and announcements and then they’re off to their first class.

 

* * *

 

The day passes mostly uneventfully since every class is the same the first day; introductions, syllabus, stupid questions, etc.  Their electives are the last period of the day and Sameen hopes they get to do something besides sit around.  Root doesn’t expect much from hers, but when she walks in a surprise greets her.  Harold Hornbill teaches the class.  She’s not sure if that’s good or bad.  On the one hand she can actually learn something from him; on the other he’ll be quicker to catch on to any of her more ‘questionable’ activities.

“Ms. Groves, I’m happy to see you’re well.”  Root hates the use of her last name, but she knows what Harold did to help maman and bâbâ bring her back home; so really as far as she’s concerned, he can do no wrong.  She smiles widely at him.  “Hi, Harry.”  He’s taken aback by Root’s use of his first name and especially the diminutive.  His owlish eyes wear a reprimand as he purses his lips.  “It would be more appropriate if you addressed me as Mr. Hornbill, Ms. Groves.”  Root smiles mischievously.  “Sure thing, Harry,” she throws over her shoulder as she saunters away to find a seat.

She takes a seat in the back corner so no one can walk by and see what she’s doing.  She tunes Harold out quickly as he drones on about what the students can expect from his course; she texts Sameen instead.

 

//Guess who’s teaching this course?//

//?//

//Harold//

//so?//

//Weird he’s teaching a freshman high school computer class.  He wrote PhD after his name on the board so he obviously finished his dissertation.  Makes more sense he’d be working as a programmer somewhere.//

//whatever  meeting re track after//

//Do you want me to wait?//

//no//

//Okay sweetie; see you later.//

 

Root can picture Sameen rolling her eyes.  She’s used to Sameen’s abrupt style of texting; barely any punctuation and only as many words as required to get her message across.  Sometimes Root needs to think a minute before deciphering her meaning.

She senses someone approaching and looks up from her phone.  A late arrival is tiptoeing through the back door of the classroom.  She gives Root a chagrinned smile and takes the seat next to her.  Root’s slightly annoyed; there are other seats in the back row that aren’t right next to her.  She’ll have to find a way to discourage anyone sitting so close in the future.

At the end of class she slings her backpack onto her shoulder planning a quick exit.  The late arrival looks over as she stands.  “Hi, I’m Hanna.”  Root observes her.  She’s cute in a Brittney Spears in her Mickey Mouse Club days kind of way.  Her smile’s genuine and Root can’t help but return it.  “Root.”

“So, uh, Mr. Hornbill seems to know what he’s talking about.”  Root shrugs with an enigmatic expression.  Hanna falls into step next to her as they leave the classroom.  “I’m going to the computer club meeting; interested?”  Root’s not much of a joiner, but her curiosity’s peaked.  “Lead the way.”

The president of the club is a senior named Daniel and Root’s actually impressed.  She quickly realizes this is more of a hack club than anything else.  Now this has possibilities.  In order to be accepted into the club you have to develop a new computer game by Monday next week.  Smart; it’ll weed out most of the amateurs hopefully.  The focus of the club will be on coding with the ultimate goal being making a showing at the Hack the Pentagon competition.  Basically the Department of Justice wants to find any vulnerability in their networks and there’s a cash prize for the team that drives the biggest truck through their systems.

 

* * *

 

Sameen spots Root in the hallway and sneaks up behind her, whispering in her ear.  “Boo!”  It’s something she does to Root regularly.  Root startles and glances back shaking her head but smiling.  She still can’t figure how Sameen moves so silently, even in a quiet room.    Sameen doesn’t realize Root’s actually walking with anyone because there are plenty of people in the hallway.  “Shaw, this is Hanna.”  Sameen leans her head forward to look around Root and nods slightly in greeting, expressionless.

They head outside, Hanna chatting with Root about how she just moved from Texas and doesn’t know anyone; blah, blah, blah.  Root chats with her without actually saying anything; it’s a skill Sameen somewhat admires.  She doesn’t see the point of small talk, but Root manages to make whoever she speaks with think she’s really interested in what they have to say.

By the time they get to their bikes Sameen’s rolling her eyes, which Root can see in her peripheral vision.  Sameen interrupts their conversation.  “I’m going to the range; want to come?”  Root glances at her with a smile in her eyes.  “Of course.”  She says bye to Hanna quickly, giving her full attention to Sameen as they ride away. 

“Picked up a lost puppy already,” Sameen smirks.  “Don’t start,” Root warns playfully.  “She’s sweet.  She’s in my computer science class.” 

“How come you were still hanging around?  I told you not to wait.”

“I didn’t.  Hanna told me about the computer club so I went to the meeting with her.  I might join.”  Sameen’s surprised.  Like her, Root’s not much of a joiner and although she’s friendly with people, she doesn’t have any actual friends except Shaw.  “Yeah?  I’m going to run track.”  She tried playing volleyball in middle school, but it became readily apparent team sports were not going to work for her so she quit.  But track should work.

“Sameen, you’re going to be a jock!”  Root squeals.  Sameen rolls her eyes but a smile lurks at the corner of her mouth. 


	40. Coding, Hacking, & Masturbation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get complicated, but Root's not fighting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay there are obvious parallels between this story and the show, but there will be no AI apocalypse, no Samaritan, and probably no Machine. So focus people!
> 
> Continued thanks and great appreciation to MayonnaiseJane for her awesome ideas and technical expertise!
> 
> NOTE: Teenage masturbation depicted explicitly.

“Root!”  Sameen screams from her room in irritation.  Root smiles because she has an inkling as to what might be disturbing Sameen, but she pretends not to hear; a minute later Sameen storms into her room.  “What did you do?!” she asks accusingly.  Root glances up from her laptop but her fingers keep moving across the keyboard.  “About what sweetie?”

“Not about _what_!  _To_ my phone!” she growls.  Root raises her eyebrows and looks at her innocently, which is a dead giveaway because Root never gives Sameen that look unless she’s guilty of something.  “Nothing happens when I press any of my shortcuts.  It’s like its dead!”  Root raises her eyebrows, lips scrunched in confusion.  “Root…” Sameen whispers menacingly.

Root sighs and holds out her hand.  “I didn’t kill your phone Sameen.  Let me see; which app is giving you trouble?”  Root can see Sameen is making an effort to speak calmly.  “All of them, any of them.  Just fix it!” she hisses.  Root looks at the phone like she’s asking it if it feels okay, then shrugs her shoulders.  She hits a few buttons and hands it back.  “I don’t see the problem Sameen.  I opened YouTube, Netflix, Pandora…  Are you sure your finger was in the right spot?” Root asks guilelessly, fighting to keep the glee from her eyes. 

Sameen glares at her, something about that sentence bothering her, but a second later she yanks the phone from Root’s hand to check for herself.  Sure enough all the apps open.  She gives Root one more suspicious glance before stomping back to her room.  Root can barely hold her laughter, but makes sure she can’t be heard.  Sameen believes in revenge and she’s masterful at it.

 

* * *

 

“I’m not sure having lunch right after biology is going to help my appetite any,” Root grouses as she walks with Sameen to the cafeteria.  Sameen rolls her eyes, “wait until we start dissecting frogs.”  Root blanches at the thought.  Sameen laughs and gives her a push.  “Go find us seats, I’ll get us drinks.” 

Sameen’s been packing their lunches because according to her what the cafeteria serves is barely edible.  She also knows there’s a better chance Root will eat something from home than the greasy food choices available.  Root’s no longer underweight but she’s always skating the low end of normal.  Left to her own devices she’d eat nothing but apples.

She comes back with milk for both of them and finds Hanna sitting with Root.  She rolls her eyes behind Hanna’s back and Root’s eyes tell her to behave although they sparkle with humor.  She places the milk carton in front of Root and proceeds to unpack their lunch wordlessly.  Today its tuna sandwiches on wheat with tomato, bananas, and as usual, sliced apples.  Sameen’s not really into vegetables but she threw in some carrot sticks for Root.

Root and Hanna talk nerd while Sameen plays Tetris on her phone until the bell rings.  Root pinches her side as they walk to their next class.  “What was that for?” Sameen squeaks indignantly.  “Even for you that was a record breaking number of eye rolls sweetie.”  Sameen looks around to make sure no one heard Root.  “I told you not to call me that!” She whispers forcefully.  “Sorry,” Root smirks, the look on her face clearly telegraphing her complete lack of remorse.

 

* * *

 

The syllabus for Harold’s computer class, while maybe not exactly laughable, poses no challenge for Root; what she doesn’t expect is for him to do something about it.  So when he passes out the materials for his lecture on Internet Competency, he doesn’t bother to give one to Root.  Root looks at him questioningly.  “Ms. Groves, your grade for this course will be project based.”  She looks at him with a knowing smile, “Oh?”

“You will be developing an algorithm for strategy games, coding and comparing alpha-beta, hybrid, and learning algorithms, testing them against each other to determine which is superior.”  Root sees right through him.  Game strategy is one of the most common applications of artificial intelligence; these algorithms are on the forefront of the quest.  “Which game?”

“Checkers.”  Root quirks her lips.  “Okay, but I can tell you right now; alpha-beta is the way to go.”

He gazes at her thin-lipped.  “You can’t possibly know that.”  Root smirks.  “Tell you what Harry.  I’ll develop the algorithms and prove I’m right.  When I prove it, you tell me what you’re really working on.”   He stares at her impassively.  “Or I can go to the administration right now and report you for assigning me a disproportionate amount of work to successfully pass this course.”

“Very well Ms. Groves.  We can proceed on your terms.”

After class Hanna follows Root out the door and falls into step next to her.  “You want to come over and work on the computer stuff?”  She asks Root shyly.  “Actually, I’m working on a different project for class.” 

“What?”  Hanna’s just curious and her skill set certainly isn’t at the level where she can comprehend the implications of the algorithms Root will be developing, but Root’s secretive by nature so she sidesteps the question.  “Uh, I have somewhere I need to be, but I’ll see you tomorrow,” Root says with a smile.  Sameen has track practice and Root wants to watch.

 

* * *

 

After dinner Sameen and Root are hanging out in the basement.  Sameen’s watching a preseason football game getting increasingly agitated at her team who despite having picked up a first round safety, can’t stop the run.  Root’s working on her computer game.  Well not working really, still thinking.  “Hey Sam, I need to develop a game app by Monday.  Any ideas?”

Sameen looks at her thoughtfully.  “Something where you get to shoot people and blow them up.”  Of course.  Root thinks about it.  She’s not looking to develop a full-blown RPG, but what about a weapons testing facility?  Three hours later when Sameen finally turns off the game in disgust, Root has a rudimentary app. 

“Okay, Sam.  Tell me what you think.”  Sameen sits next to Root so they can put the laptop on both their laps.  Root shows her the basics.  It set up as a rudimentary weapons research and development lab.  There are all different types of guns to test; laser, shotgun, and mini-guns.  Sameen plays with it for a few minutes.  “Where are the people?”

“What do you mean the people sweetie?”

“It’s no fun just to shoot at obstacles or targets.  There should be people being torn to shreds and blood splattering.”  Root shakes her head with a small smile.  As she watches Sameen play, she gets an idea.  “Okay, what about a ragdoll?”

“A doll Root?  Really?”

“Not a doll, doll Sam.  You know like the Stair Fall game.  Where you toss the ragdoll down the stairs and he bounces depending on how he lands and you get points for inflicting damage.  Give me your phone.”  Sameen hands it over reluctantly.  She’s still not convinced Root hasn’t been messing with her phone just to drive her crazy.  It takes a minute to download the app.  “Here, see?” 

“Yeah, actually that will work,” Sameen decides after playing for a minute.  “But put more weapons.  I should be able to attack with more than one weapon at a time.  Like if I had a knife and a gun.  Or I plant a mine and then shoot and stab.”  Sameen looks over when Root doesn’t answer and sees a dreamy look on her face.  She waves her hand in front of Root’s eyes.  “Root.” 

Root’s arm is wrapped around Sameen’s shoulder and her chin in resting on Sameen’s bicep.  She’s smelled Sameen’s shampoo and soap a million times; they sit next to hers on the bathroom ledge.  But they smell different on Sameen’s skin; intoxicating.  Her line of sight sits on Sameen’s breasts, rising and falling gently with every breath.

She snaps out of it when Sameen waves her hand in front of her face again.  “Uh, yeah Sam.  Those are great ideas.  I’ll let you test it when I develop it a bit more.  Thanks,” she mumbles as she takes her laptop and climbs the stairs.

When Sameen goes to bed Root’s still on her laptop, working on her game she supposes.  She’s biting her lower lip bathed in the glow from the screen.  Something in Sameen responds to the sight no matter how many times she sees it.  Expressions run across Root’s face like she’s having a conversation with her mind; smiles, frowns, frustration.  Sameen used to wake sometimes in the middle of the night to find Root still hunched over her laptop.  She’d watch until Root noticed then complain grumpily.  Root would look at her with the smile she reserves just for her, “just another minute Sam.”  Sameen would huff in protest, but she always dropped right back into sleep again.  Root senses Sameen and looks up.  Sameen quirks her lip in a small smile.  “Goodnight Root.”

“Night, Sam.”

 

* * *

 

An hour later Root decides to call it a night too.  She’s distracted and getting nowhere with the app.  Her mind keeps wondering to the basement and the smell of Sameen’s skin and watching her run this afternoon, the powerful flex of her calves as she landed and pushed off, giving each stride spring, her strong glutes shaping her form in elegant alignment.  The tendon in her neck flexing as she gulped her water, beads of sweat dripping down her throat. 

Root’s tried not to think about it.  But she’s been having a harder and harder time stifling the effect Sameen’s having on her body.  Her heart races and there’s a tightening just under her belly.  Everything’s normal and then suddenly she’s thinking what it might be like to taste Sameen’s lips or feel their bodies pressed tightly against each other.

She shuts down her laptop and crawls under the covers.  But sleep won’t come and she wonders if Sameen’s asleep.  She thinks about all the times she’s watched Sameen drifting off; she falls asleep slowly then all at once.  She rolls over and changes position at night; the sheets often ending up tangled by her feet.  Root’s traced muscled calves up taut thighs with her eyes; lingered on her curvy ass and proud back.  She knows the feel of Sameen’s skin and the sound of her breaths.

Thinking about Sameen this way, at night in her room, when she can let her imagination roam, always makes her wet, her clit throbbing with a need to be touched.  She reaches under her soft cotton shorts, lowering her hand from her breasts down her stomach, running her finger down her hot wet folds, thinking about Sameen, about how it would feel to touch her like this, to hear her breath catch in her throat. 

She spreads her wetness up and over, circling her clit softly, her other hand reaching under shirt to tug on a hard nipple, thinking about Sameen’s body and skin and smell.  She slips her finger inside herself wishing it was Sameen thrusting within her, filling her up.  She curls her finger backwards, dragging her fingertip over her g-spot in a circle, her excitement building, soft pants escaping her lips.

Sameen’s not sure what wakes her up.  She hears a soft moan from Root’s room and sits up to listen.  Root rarely has nightmares any more, but sometimes it happens and they’re just as intense as they were when they were kids.  She hears another soft whimper and it sounds like Root’s moaning Sameen’s name.  She walks through the bathroom silently, but something makes her stop at the threshold to Root’s room.

She can sense movement and as her eyes adjust to the dark, she sees Root’s arm moving between her legs.  She watches as Root arches into her hand and can envision her long elegant fingers keeping a rhythm meant to bring her pleasure.  She’s mesmerized as she sees Root bring her other hand down from massaging her breast to join the other.  Sameen can imagine Root’s feathering her clit.  She knows she shouldn’t be watching Root masturbate.  That it should be private and its creepy and weird to linger at her door like some stalker, but Sameen can’t tear herself away.

Root caresses her hood, causing light friction on her clit, prolonging her pleasure.  She feels her orgasm building and her muscles tensing and she holds her breath as it hits, trying to suppress her groan and Sameen’s name as it leaves her lips.

Sameen’s never heard anyone say her name the way Root just whispered it; like a wish and a promise.  She rests her head on the door jamb a second, her own breathing loud in her ears, face flushed.  When she’s calmer she backs away as silently as she came, sliding back into her own bed.

Root drifts off to sleep thinking of Sameen and Sameen spends the rest of the night dreaming about Root.   


	41. Root's Sexual Evolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root's always believed knowledge is power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to MikoNeko for the suggestion to include how Root discovered masturbation.

Sameen usually drags Root out of bed for school, but Root’s awake early this morning.  They learned a long time ago she’d ignore alarm clocks; snoozing indefinitely or just turning them off.  She even tried putting it on her dresser so she’d have to get out of bed to turn it off, but she’d just end up getting back in bed again or pile pillows over her head and keep sleeping.  So Sameen wakes her up now.  It used to be she’d drag her halfway down the bed by her ankle, but now she usually just throws something at Root’s head with a snarky comment.

Root realizes she feels sticky and remembers how she fell asleep last night. 

She’d discovered masturbation a couple of years earlier by accident.  She didn’t feel like washing her hair so she was using the handheld shower head spray when a bolt of pleasure startled her.  She wasn’t sure exactly what caused it so she tried it again and realized it felt _really_ good. 

Over the next few months she experimented with varying pressures and temperatures. She also supplemented her knowledge from the internet like she does with everything else.  She’d vaguely heard the term before but until she looked it up she didn’t understand it was masturbation.  The internet introduced her to orgasms.  It took her awhile until she learned her body well-enough to be able to have one, but once she did she was hooked.  Why would anyone pass up the opportunity to feel so good?

Since then she’d continued to explore her body, trying out things she’d read about.  She learned her erogenous zones and how to reach her g-spot and what her clit was and how combining stroking her g-spot with clitoral stimulation gave her the best orgasms.  She learned certain positions feel better and soft lightening relaxes her more.  She read about lube, but didn’t buy it because she didn’t really need it and she would’ve been mortified if anyone found it in her room; although she did experiment with coconut oil.   

She also learned by reading that _reading_ could make her wet and horny, a term she read about.  So she’d read a lot of different stuff; she found outright porn doesn’t do it for her, but more subtle stories do.  The biggest epiphany was that lesbian sex really excites her.  When she reads stories with heterosexual characters its fine, but it’s the female body that turns her on.  After watching some lesbian themed movies she also learned she prefers reading and being able to fill in the gaps with her imagination as opposed to watching.

It took her a year to start fantasizing while masturbating; for some reason she’d never thought about it before.  Her research was deficient in that area.  After picturing different people, she’d realized she prefers brunettes over blonds, Milla Jovovich, being a recurring favorite; she likes red heads too, like Willow Shields.

But in the last few months the only person she can picture is Sameen.  No matter how she starts, it’s Sameen that invades her thoughts.  Root’s not freaked out about the lesbian aspect; Mah and Abbas are open-minded, liberal, progressive people and both Root and Sameen were exposed to all sorts of people all their lives, with sexuality and gender never being a consideration and no religious beliefs clouding the issue. 

But although she can’t exactly put a finger on it, it makes her uncomfortable to feel this way about Sameen.  Despite Mah and Abbas’ attitudes towards sexuality, it doesn’t mean they would be comfortable with a romantic relationship between her and Sameen.  But mostly it’s about Root fearing Sameen’s reaction if she ever discovers how Root feels. 

They know everything about each other; it’s like falling into the attraction backward.  But it’s not just Sameen’s body attracting her.  From the moment they met, Root knew Sameen was different.  Unlike most people she’s genuine and honest and loyal.  She chooses to do the right thing.  Even with her supposedly muted emotions, she’s honorable and just.  She’s also wickedly smart and makes Root laugh.  Root always knew there’d never be anyone she liked better than Sameen.  Sameen never tries to change her; she doesn’t think Root’s deficient in any way and Root, well Root knows Sameen’s perfect. 

She also knows Sameen will never feel the same way about her romantically or sexually and she doesn’t want to ruin the relationship they do have by wanting or expecting more.  It’s not just a cute sentiment; Root will not let anyone take Sameen from her life again.  Even if it’s platonic, that’s more than okay with Root.  But Sameen shutting her out…that she won’t risk and wouldn’t survive.

So she resolves to push these feelings down and lock them away deep inside.  Right after she takes a shower.     


	42. Stupid Root

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root decides AP English is her favorite class and Shaw does not like Hanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a super-short chapter. I wanted to get the ideas down before I forgot and I'm not going to have much time over the weekend. Anyway Happy early Fourth of July!

Shaw plops down next to Root in home room.  “Something chase you out of bed this morning?” 

Root grins cheekily.  “Ah, you missed me…”  Shaw rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “No, just checking if pigs started flying,” she snarks.  Root laughs knowingly…“um huh”

 

* * *

 

Hanna joins them for lunch again and Sameen wonders why Root’s so friendly.  The girl defines boring with a capital B.  She talks about clothes and the latest Hollywood film and uses words like cute and adorable and awesome.  The words that come to Sameen’s mind are mundane and frivolous and uninspiring.  Sameen ignores her but wonders if Root would object to her giving Hanna a taste of her intimidating stare.  Ugh.  Probably.  Root seems to attract innocent girls with hero-worship complexes like flies to honey.  Sameen chased away a few in middle school too, but she was sneaky about it so Root never knew why they suddenly moved on; Root didn’t seem to mind though.

“Have you started learning JavaScript yet Root?  I think I’ve mastered the variables and data types,” Hanna enthuses.  Now Shaw’s no expert, but she’s lived with Root long enough to know the question is like asking a heavyweight champion whether he’s mastered the jab.  Sameen can’t help but snort derisively and Root elbows her.  Sameen glares at her.  The interaction goes unnoticed by Hanna since she’s sitting on the other side of Root and can’t really see Sameen, even though Sameen’s clearly visible in Root’s peripheral vision.

Sameen tunes them out.  Root put the game she’s developing on Sameen’s phone and she’s testing it out.  Even though right now the only weapons are mines, she can already see the possibilities.  She’s going to talk to Root about adding spikes, crossbows, and a shotgun for sure; for more blood splatter possibilities.  She’s so engrossed in the game and testing different mine combinations she doesn’t hear the bell ring.  “Come on Sam,” Root nudges her gently.

 

* * *

 

They’ve started with the Canterbury Tales in AP English but Sameen doesn’t get why they have to read it in the original Middle English; it’s exhausting.  Root can see the frustration in the scowl on Sameen’s face.  Even though they sit next to each other, Root sends her a text.

 

//Skip to the Miller’s Tale.//

//i’d like to skip this book//

//Trust me.//

//fine//                         

Shaw flips to the right page.

//and?//

//It’s all about sex; who’s having it and who’s not and how they have it and the consequences.//

Sameen can’t help but flash back to last night and the sight of Root arching in pleasure and the way she called Sameen’s name.  She shakes her head visibly and takes a deep breath.  She’s not going to think about it; she’s afraid Root will see it on her face.  Even though it’s ridiculous, Sameen’s sure her face flushed at the memory and Root will know exactly why.

//?//

//http://sites.fas.harvard.edu/~chaucer/teachslf/milt-par.bak//

//?//

//It’s the translated version, you’ll like it.//

//it better not be some romantic shit//

//It’s not, I promise.//

Well, it’s not too romantic anyway.  Root knows she probably should’ve guided Sameen to the Knight’s Tale first, which at least has some battles in it, but in the end it’s still a romance, so she doesn’t feel too bad about her choice.  They’ll have to read them all anyway and she knows Sameen will be ecstatic not to have to read them in the original Middle English.

Class is about to end and Root can tell Sameen’s done reading. 

//http://sites.fas.harvard.edu/~chaucer/teachslf/tr-index.htm#list//

 

“What was the last text about?” Sameen asks, once they’re in the hallway.  “It’s the site for all the translations for the Canterbury Tales.”

“You mean I could’ve been reading something with more fighting?”  Shaw’s scowling, her eyebrows furrowed.

“You’ll have to read them all eventually Sameen and they all contain elements of love and sexual desire and very little in the way of fighting.  You have to start somewhere.”  Root can’t wait until Sameen gets to The Wife of Bath.  Then and there she decides AP English will be her favorite class.  But she keeps the thought, and her smile, to herself.

 

* * *

 

Sameen waits for Root at their usual spot after school but Root doesn’t show.  She heads to the bikes thinking maybe Root’s waiting there, but she’s not.

 

//where are you//

//I’m in the computer lab with Hanna.//

Shaw rolls her eyes with a frown.

//you coming or what//

//I’m going to help Hanna with some stuff.  I’ll see you at home later.//

//whatever//

 

Sameen decides to work out when she gets home.  She’s also going to participate in the shot put event for track, so more strength training can’t hurt.  She decides to focus on curls and extensions.  This particular workout targets each muscle, from hands to shoulders.  She focuses on the burn and stops thinking about stupid Root not coming home with her.  Only because she has ideas for the game and Root doesn’t have much time to work on it.  Why ask Sameen to help if she’s going to spend her time with dull Hanna?


	43. Color Me Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw may not recognize jealousy, but Root does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short snippet...

Sameen’s been giving Root the silent treatment since last night and disappears at lunch time, taking Root’s lunch with her.  Root’s looking around the cafeteria when she spots Hanna at what’s becoming their usual table.  Ugh.  She’s sweet and all but Root doesn’t have time to be friendly right now.  She takes a minute to buy a couple of waters and ducks out the side door to text Sameen.

 

//Where are you?//

//what’s it to u?//

Root frowns; she has no idea what’s bothering Sameen or what Root could’ve done to upset her. 

//Awww, what’s wrong sweetie?//

//I am not!!!//

 

Now Root’s smiling, picturing Sameen’s scowl when Root calls her sweetie; time to find out what’s going on.  She tracks Sameen’s phone to the field.  She’s sitting under a tree staring into the distance.  Root plops down next to her.  It reminds her of the tree they used to sit under in grade school.  “Did you eat my lunch?”  Sameen rolls her eyes, but doesn’t look at her.  “If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have lunch.”

Root grins.  “True.  So what’s on the menu today?”  Sameen tosses her the bag and looks around exaggeratedly.  Root looks around, but doesn’t see anything unusual.  “What are you looking for?”

“Your umbilical cord.”  Root can’t help it; the grumpy look on Sameen’s face is adorable.  “What?” She scrunches her face in question.  “I had some ideas for your game,” Sameen grumbles.

“That’s great Sam!  Let’s work on it tonight.”  Root nudges Sameen’s shoulder playfully.

“Oh, you mean you’re planning on being around?”  Root’s smile grows while Sameen stares in the distance.  “Awww, you missed me!”  Sameen shakes her head, but there’s a small smile on the corner of her lips.  “Don’t be stupid.” 

Root passes her a bottle of water and Sameen pulls out their lunch.  “Wait, you’re calling Hanna my umbilical cord?”  Root raises her eyebrows in question, waiting for Sameen to answer.  When she doesn’t Root can’t help the teasing tone in her voice, “you jealous sweetie?”

“Ugh.  No; she’s just so vanilla,” Sameen complains.

 “Yeah,” Root smiles wistfully.  “Sometimes it’s kind of nice…to just be around someone who has no clue how nasty the world can be sometimes.”  Sameen feels an unpleasant jolt in her chest and reaches out to hold Root’s hand.  “Yeah…I get it.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, you weren’t at lunch today.”  Root smiles at Hanna, but doesn’t explain.  “Thanks for all your help yesterday.  I really appreciate it.” 

“No problem, your mom was really nice.”  Hanna shrugs shyly.  “Thanks.  She really liked you.” 

Harold starts the class and Root loses herself in her project.  The time flies and soon Hanna’s tugging on her sleeve.  Root looks up and realizes everyone’s gone.  “Wow, shit.  I was caught up.”  Hanna smiles and waits for her.  “You want to come over and hang out?”

“I can’t today; I’m working on the game for the computer club with Sam.”  Hanna looks a little disappointed, but smiles.  “Sure, see you tomorrow.” 

Root heads to the field.  She’s going to watch Sam’s track practice and wait for her so they can ride home together.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s practicing her shot put throws.  Her right knee’s on the ground with her left arm extended.  The shot put’s nestled on her neck and Root watches as she pushes it up and out with her arm extended and her wrist guiding the thrust.  Her bicep flexes and she grunts on the release.  Root sighs.  Sameen’s muscles are just…amazing.

Sameen spots her as she’s drying her sweat with a towel.  She meanders over.  “Why are you here?”

“Just thought we’d ride home together sweetie.”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  “Let me grab my stuff.”

While Root waits one of the other athletes wonders over.  “Hi, I’m Jules.  You waiting for Shaw?”  Jules’ red hair hangs in a loose ponytail and Root struggles to paint an accurate picture of her eyes; deep, intelligent green.  Green of the sort you'd see on a young tree in the forest, right where the stem meets the leaf.  “Uh, yeah…” Root stutters.

“She’s pretty amazing,” Jules observes with a smile.  Root composes herself and her face lights up.  “Yeah…”  Sameen approaches them with an annoyed look.  “Let’s go Root.”  Root smiles at Jules, “uh, nice to meet you.”

“You too.  See you around.”  Jules stares after Root thoughtfully and laughs when Sameen shoots her a glare.

“What’d she say,” Sameen asks with a growl.  “She just introduced herself, why?”  Root asks, pretending to be puzzled, but beginning to see a pattern.  “Just be careful with her…she…ugh whatever.”  Sameen bites out, jumping on her bike and racing away.


	44. Guns, Movies, & Practical Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw may be feeling insecure, but Root will always be hers; whether she understands what that means yet or not.

“Okay, so make it so you can put weapons on the walls and ceilings as well as the floor.  Once you set up the weapons, you press a button and the dummy falls from the top and you watch the carnage,” Sameen commands with glee.

“Should I worry about this violent streak of yours sweetie?”  Root asks with an indulgent smile, triggered by Sameen’s excitement for the project as well as the fact she no longer minds if Root calls her sweetie so long as they’re alone.  Not that’s she specifically said it but she no longer complains or gives Root a face.

She means it as a joke, but Sameen looks at her solemnly.  “You know I would never hurt you, right?”

“Of course Sameen!  That’s not what I meant.” 

“Oh, okay.”  Root’s concerned; why would Root think Sameen would hurt her?  It’s ridiculous, Sameen would never.  Maybe there’s something they need to talk about?  But Sameen’s back to designing the game so she lets it go. 

“The goal of the game is to cause the dummy the most damage possible.  There should be levels, so as you do more damage you unlock progressively powerful weapons.  Oh and different body parts should be worth more points.  So you get more damage points for the head than the hand.”  Sameen looks at Root expectantly. 

Root makes a change to a snippet of code she’s debugging before answering.  “Okay, so I’ll work that out and then we can decide on the weapon types and how much damage they’ll do.”

Sameen’s taken an almost proprietary interest in developing the game and it makes Root feel really good they can work on something she loves together.  She’d never really thought Sameen would be interested in any of her projects. 

“Okay.”  Sameen leaves Root on the couch.  She wasn’t satisfied with her shot put throws today.  The final rotational effort to drive the shot as far as possible was weak.  So she wants to start torching her obliques.  She decides on decline crunches and lays a towel on the bench.

Sameen’s low grunts draw Root’s attention.  She wishes she hadn’t looked over because now she can’t seem to stop looking.  Every twist accentuates Sameen’s abs and her traps.  She’s sweating and every lift causes a bead to roll down the valley between her breasts.  Root’s mind betrays her and she starts to fantasize chasing each drop with her tongue and her heart starts to beat a little faster.  She feels wetness between her legs and she knows she needs to turn away before Sameen catches her leering. 

She tears herself away and clears her throat just as Sameen glances over.  “You okay?”  Sameen asks, concerned at the flushed look on Root’s face.  “Uh, yeah.  I’m going to work on this upstairs; I need room to make notes.”

“That’s why I put a desk for you down here,” Sameen reminds her.  “Sit on the chair.  It’s more comfortable than the one in your room anyway.”  Sameen’s right, but it’s not the strain on her back she’s worried about.  But she doesn’t want to be weird.  “Okay, I’ll be back; want something to drink?”

 

* * *

 

Root’s standing at the kitchen sink chugging a bottle of water and staring out the kitchen window, trying to get her raging hormones under control.  Maybe she’s just fixating on Sameen because they spend so much time together.  There’s no denying she’s gorgeous and her body seems to get hotter every day, mainly because Sameen’s dedicated to her workouts.  But if Sameen ever catches on to the thoughts Root’s having about her, things will never be the same.  She’s so preoccupied she doesn’t hear Mah walk up behind her.

“Nāzi, are you okay?”

Root startles and gives a little yelp.  “Maman!  You startled me.  Uh, yeah I’m fine.  Do you need any help with dinner?”

Mah’s eyes crinkle and she cocks her head.  “No, it’ll be ready in about half an hour.  Can you let Sameen know?”

“Sure,” Root promises as she flees the kitchen and Mah’s perceptive eyes.

 

* * *

 

Root’s running late and the first bell has already rung.  She rushes to her locker, her backpack pulling uncomfortably on her shoulder.  She’s rummaging for a textbook and sees a pair of long legs leaning against the locker next to hers.  She grabs the book she needs and slams her locker shut.  “Hey…”  It’s Jules.  “Hey…I’m sorry I’m running late,” Root smiles apologetically. 

“Yeah me too.”  Jules’ only inches away from Root and she can’t help but notice Jules’ arched eyebrows looking down on sweeping eyelashes.  She’s momentarily captivated by the sparkle in her laughing eyes.  “Catch you at lunch,” Jules asks cockily.  “You can try,” Root smirks as she rushes away.

 

* * *

 

“Sameen can you take my backpack to the cafeteria, I need to stop in the bathroom.”  Sameen rolls her eyes dramatically, “sure, my liege” and gives a small flourish with her hand.  Root swings her backpack into Sameen’s stomach and laughs when she grunts.  “Not funny, Root.  You better apologize or you’ll never see your laptop again.”  Root laughs playfully, “sorry with sugar on top…” as Sameen walks away with a huff.

Sameen prepares herself for finding Hanna at their usual table, but she’s not prepared for the sight of Jules also slouched in a chair stuffing her mouth with a burger.  This is getting ridiculous; they’re only a week into the school year and Root’s already attracting more mosquitoes than a pool of stagnant water.  Sameen knows she’s annoyed, but doesn’t really understand why.  Hanna doesn’t look much happier than she feels.

“Ha Shw.” A mouthful of food muffles Jules’ greeting.  Sameen nods her head to both of them.  She tosses her stuff and Root’s on a chair and grabs a seat.  Jules swallows and looks around, “Where’s Root?”

If Sameen has to put up with these people it’s time to have a little fun.  “She’s spending lunch in the library doing some research I think.”  Jules shoves the rest of her burger in her mouth and waves as she hurries away.  Hanna starts laughing.  “She’s not at the library is she?”  Sameen can’t help the smirk that sneaks onto her mouth.  “I may have misunderstood.”

“That would explain why her backpack’s here with you.”  Sameen shrugs her shoulders as Root joins them.  Root looks at them and immediately suspects something’s up with the way they’re both trying to hide their smiles.  “What?”

Hanna smiles sweetly, “nothing, Shaw was telling me about your game.”  Root starts explaining the game to Hanna excitedly and Sameen opens Chaucer’s Tales to get a head start for class.  The library is on the other side of school so she doubts Jules will be back, but she’s not stupid; she’ll figure it out.  But that’s what teammates do; play practical jokes on each other.

 

* * *

 

After another torturous English class, Sameen’s ready to bury her head under the hood of a car.  When she walks into the garage where their class is held, she’s pleasantly surprised to see a Honda CB 750 motorcycle in the bay.  The instructor, Taylor Vernon, is a retired nazcar mechanic and Sameen’s been really impressed with the class so far.  Soon she’s wrapped up in the basics of an oil change and the day’s annoyances long forgotten.

There’s no track practice so she heads to her bike.  Root’s waiting for her with what Sameen calls the full-body smile, which thus far Root’s reserved for her.  “Hey, you want to go to the range?”

“Sure Sam; but when are we going to tell maman and bâbâ that we’ve been going?  The longer we wait, the longer we’ll be grounded no doubt.  They may not let us keep going.”  Sameen frowns.  “I know.  That’s why I don’t want to tell them.”

“It was one thing during the summer Sam; they weren’t really asking us how we were spending our days.  But you know maman is going to ask when we’re not home right after school.  I’m not going to lie to her.”

“I’ve never lied to her Root.  I’m not going to start now.”

“Well I think it’s better if we’re proactive about it, rather than have them ask where we’ve been and have to admit it.”  Sameen sighs.  “You’re right; let’s just go home.  I’ll tell them tonight.”

“Don’t be stupid.  We’ll tell them.  We’re in this together.  I’ve been going too; I’m not going to let you get in trouble by yourself.”

A small smile lurks at the corner of Sameen’s mouth even though she’s not looking forward to telling her parents.  Root’s loyalty has always been absolute.  It makes Sameen feel like she’s never alone.  She’d never thought she’d care.  Before she met Root and all the years Root was gone, she never wanted anything but to be alone.  But Root’s always been different.  Sameen can’t envision ever being without her again.

 

* * *

 

They’ve just sat down to dinner when Sameen matter of factly announces, “Root and I have been going to the shooting range.”  Root almost spits out her water and bâbâ seems shocked; maman however does not appear surprised, shocked, or horrified.  Root should’ve known they needed to come up with a plan; Sameen’s always involve a bandaid torn off with a landmine.  But it’s too late now.

Sameen goes back to eating, while Root’s eyes dart between Mah and Abbas, waiting to see who’s going to say something first.  Abbas isn’t thrilled, but he’s also not the type to prohibit something just because he finds it distasteful.  There’s nothing wrong with learning how to use a gun; for gun safety if nothing else.  They’re certainly everywhere these days.  He takes a breath and looks at Mah.

“I guess I have a confession to make too,” Mah looks at Abbas.  “I knew.”  Abbas doesn’t know whether to be relieved or upset.  Mah never mentioned it to him, but that’s for a private conversation later.

Root and Sameen look at each other.

“The first time you went they called me.  They don’t let you shoot unless you’re 18 or have a legal guardian present.  But the range safety officer volunteers at the shelter too and he called me.  I’m surprised you two didn’t recognize him.  So technically you weren’t going without permission; I just want to know why you waited several weeks to tell us and why you felt you couldn’t discuss it with us beforehand.”  Mah waits patiently, taking another bite of dinner.

“Don’t blame Root.  She just kept me company.”

“No maman.  I went with Sameen since the very first time and now I shoot too.  I’m just as responsible.”

Root’s been back with them for over four years now and not once has she chosen to let Sameen take sole responsibility for anything.  Even certain things Mah’s sure Root didn’t even know about until Sameen got in trouble.  She wonders if the two of them understand yet how truly lucky they are to have found each other.

Sameen shrugs.  “I saw the advertisement in my Guns & Ammo subscription and I wanted to try it.  After I got kidnapped, I decided I needed to become an expert.  I never want to be at someone else’s mercy again.”

Root shakes her head in agreement.  “I was afraid at first, but after Sturgis…I just wanted to be able to do whatever I needed to do to protect everyone I care about.”

Bâbâ clears his throat.  “You both know I believe in gun regulation, but there’s nothing wrong with you learning how to use them.  I appreciate you went to professionals and acted responsibly.  But I am disappointed you didn’t discuss it with us first.  I remember being your age,” he says with a smile, letting the girls know he’s not too angry.  “Wanting to push boundaries and never quite believing my parents would understand how I felt.  So I understand.  But it doesn’t make it okay and to be crystal clear, guns are not permitted in this home.”

The girls wait, but no one says anything about consequences.  Maybe Mah and Abbas know their disappointment hurts the girls more than anything else they could possibly do to punish them; they don’t believe in punishment anyway.  Consequences should serve as lessons, not just be used as punishment.  Right now Abbas doesn’t know what he and Mah could do to make a difference.  But he intends to talk to Mah about the whole business later.

“I thought for sure we’d be grounded,” Root shares with Sameen later while they’re watching tv in the basement.  “Root, when have we ever been grounded?”  Root pauses, “when we broke curfew last year.”

“Okay, but the grounding made sense because it was to show us what it would feel like if they didn’t trust us to be out by ourselves.  What would grounding us now teach us about trust or anything else?”

Root sighs.  “Nothing I guess.  But I feel really bad about it.”

“Would you feel better if they punished us?”

“Probably not,” Root concedes. 

“We let them down Root.  But it wasn’t our intention and they know it.  We have to live with knowing we disappointed them.  They know it matters to us to live up to their expectations.  We just have to try our best not to do anything to disappoint them again.”

 

* * *

 

Root hangs out with Hanna after school on Friday, waiting for Sameen to finish practice.  They both head out to the field to watch the last few minutes.  They don’t see Sameen anywhere and everyone’s heading out of the locker room already.  Root’s phone pings with Sameen’s text tone, which for now is the Star Wars theme song.

//do u have clothes in your locker I can borrow?//

//Of course.  Where are you?  Are you okay?//

//in the last shower in the locker room//

//I’ll be there in a few minutes.//

Hanna follows Root as she rushes back into the school building.  “What happened?”

“I’m not sure.  Sameen needs to borrow my clothes.” 

“Oh.”  Root looks at Hanna and something on her face makes Root think she may know what this is about.  “What’s going on Hanna?”  Her usual friendly tone is gone because she does not like anything happening to Sameen.

“Shaw played a joke on Jules yesterday at lunch.  Maybe Jules took her clothes as payback.  I don’t know for sure, it just seems too coincidental.”

“What did Sameen do?”

“Jules was looking for you at lunch and she told Jules you were spending it in the library.”  Root huff-laughs and shakes her head.  But then suddenly she looks angry.  Hanna’s not sure whether it’s with Jules or Shaw, but she’s not asking.  She follows Root to the locker room.

“Sameen.”  Sameen cracks the shower door and takes the clothes from Root’s hands.  Her sneakers are still outside the stall on the bench but there’re no signs of her clothes.  Root waits outside with Hanna and when Sameen comes out she’s furious.  Root can see the tension in her muscles and the wildness in her eyes.  Root doesn’t try to talk to her and Hanna knows better than to say anything.

As they turn the corner heading to the bikes, they see Jules leaning against the building.  “Hey Shaw, those clothes look a little long on you,” she smirks.

But before Sameen can reach her or say anything, Root’s already pushing Jules from her reclining position.  “You’re an asshole.”  Jules laughter cuts off abruptly.  “That’s because you don’t know what she did—” but Root interrupts.  “I do actually.  You couldn’t use your brain to get back at her?  You had to resort to trying to humiliate her?”

Sameen’s fuming at both of them now.  She doesn’t need Root to protect her.  But before she can storm over to the two of them, Hanna whispers quietly.  “Shaw, don’t.  It backfired.”  Sameen looks at Hanna like she has three heads.  “She wanted Root’s attention and now Root’s angry with her.”  Well she does have a point, Sameen realizes.

She walks towards them with Hanna, a smile on her face.  Root glances towards them expecting to see Sameen scowling, but she just smiles cockily.  Root gives her the full-body smile and turns back to Jules.  “She looks hot no matter what she’s wearing,” she smiles knowingly.  She waits for Hanna and Sameen to reach her and they walk off together.  Sameen looks back to see a crestfallen Jules and smirks.

“The two of you are dangerous together.”

Hanna looks at Root innocently, with a ‘why me’ expression.  “You knew what she was up to Hanna, don’t pretend.”  Hanna shrugs with a sheepish grin.  “It was funny.  Besides, Jules has atrocious table manners.  It was grossing me out to watch her eat.”  She turns to Sameen with a grin.  “So what are we doing to get back at her?”

“Stop,” Root commands.  “Both of you; no one’s doing anything else.”  She insists sternly, but she knows there’s no way in hell Sameen’s not going to plan her revenge.  Sameen raises her eyebrows and Root knows it’s a lost cause.  “Fine.  But we better not get caught and nothing that’s going to get anyone hurt or in trouble, Sameen.”

“You used to be fun Root.”  She looks at Hanna, “she used to be fun.”  Hanna smiles at the two friends, just happy to be included.  Maybe Sameen doesn’t hate her after all.  Sameen looks at Hanna and thinks maybe she’s not as vanilla as she thought.

 

* * *

 

Hanna stays for dinner and they’re trying to pick a movie.  Root wants Raising Arizona, which is the most painful movie Sameen’s ever had the displeasure of refusing to watch after 20 minutes.  It was made almost 20 years before they were born when Sameen’s sure nobody had a sense of humor.  Hanna wants to watch Titanic, which even Root thinks is too sappy for words.  Sameen wants to watch Shawshank Redemption, or Arlington Road, or even Pulp Fiction.  They finally decide on the Matrix since it has comedy, love, and action/violence.  Neo and Trinity are timeless.

Root sits between Sameen and Hanna on the couch, but definitely mushing Sameen more than necessary.  Sameen pinches her until she moves over.  Root waits five minutes then creeps over again, just to be a brat.  Sameen rolls her eyes, but let’s Root have her way.  Hanna wonders if they’ve figured it out yet; it’s like there’s no room in their world for anyone else and they seem to prefer it that way.

Hanna bows out after the first movie, but Sameen and Root decide to make it a marathon.  “Don’t start it yet Sam; I’m going to make us popcorn.”

“Okay, see if we have any chocolate.”

It’s almost 2am when they finish the last one and their usual argument ensues. 

“Come on Root, the first one rocks; it was revolutionary!  It redefined the nature of reality.  It used flawlessly integrated special effects and animation to visualize regions of cyberspace. It created fearsome creatures, including mechanical octopi, Root.  Neo and Trinity run horizontally on walls, and hang in the air long enough to deliver karate kicks.  It has leaps through space, thrilling fights on rooftops, helicopter rescues and battles over mind control.

The second one has some awesome fight scenes, but that Zion dance scene was cringe-worthy; like someone said insert dance scene here and I’m sorry, some of the architect’s lines were just gibberish.  Plus there was the absolutely unnecessary and totally awkward sex scene. 

The third one was just a bitter, bitter disappointment; no one knows what it even means.”

“Yet you made us watch all three,” Root points out. 

“Besides, the Matrix annoys me because it inspired so much inflamed pseudo-philosophy.  The speeches didn’t provide meaning, just the _effect_ of meaning.  They just _sounded_ like they were saying profound things.  But I will concede it excelled because it really did toy with the conflict between illusion and reality—between the world we think we inhabit, and its underlying nature.  Actually my favorite parts were the ones with Agent Smith and his flat, menacing tone in passive-aggressive overdrive.

But Reloaded develops the world with more detail, gives us our first glimpse of Zion, and turns Neo from confused draftee to a Christ figure in training; and I thought Trinity was fucking hot in the sex scene, although I do agree I could’ve done without the whole dance/orgy thing interspersed within it. 

I completely agree on the third one.  By then my concern for Neo was jerked around by so many layers of whether he's real or not, and whether he's really doing what he seems to be doing, that in the end I just didn’t give a fuck.  Its only redeeming feature is the computer-generated special effects, which were awesome.  Although if I put aside my questions, forget logic, disregard continuity problems and immerse myself in the moment, it was a terrific action achievement.”

“Admit it Root, you just like sex scenes.”

“I like sex scenes.”

“Admit it Sameen, you like fight scenes, cool guns, and robots.”

“Yes, Root; I’m normal,” she smirks.

“Sure, it you were a teenage boy.”

Sameen groans.  She doesn’t know why she tries to argue with Root.  She’s just too damn geniusy and there’s no keeping up with her razor-sharp sarcasm.  It’s infuriating and yet amazing at the same time.  But the ‘I always have to have the last word’ is just incredibly annoying; not cute at all.

They trudge off to bed together.  Sameen’s asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.  But Root’s still not sleepy.  She gets under the covers, but decides to check their blog.  Sameen hardly ever posts on it anymore, but Root checks periodically just in case.  Sameen’s question about hurting her still lurks in the back of her mind and she wonders if there’s something specific on Sameen’s.

She logs on and finds a post from a couple of days ago.

                _Sameen: Wednesday 11pm_

_Sometimes I think the ground under my feet will fall away._

Root feels like an idiot.  She should’ve realized something was going on with Sameen the other day when she found her under the tree in the field during lunch.  But what does this mean?  She seems to be saying her world is at the crux of significant change.  But the imagery implies she views this negatively.  But is this about school or something more personal?  Right now Sameen’s world pretty much consists of school, sports, and…Root. 

Root thinks back over the last few days and what she teasingly referred to as jealousy.  She remembers when she came back and was terrified things had changed and she wasn’t as important to Sameen anymore.  She always sees Sameen as so confident and indestructible.  But everyone has a weakness.  For Root it’s always been Sameen.  Maybe Sameen feels the same way about her.  Actually she’s pretty sure Sameen feels the same way.  They don’t have those types of conversations, but Sameen’s actions have always shown what she values.  The blog itself proves how far out of her comfort zone she' willing to go to connect with Root.

                _Root: Saturday 2am_

_Don’t be stupid.  I left something for you on your desk._

Root hopes she’s reading this right.  She’d finished the video algorithm she’d been working on a few weeks ago, but she’d been saving it for a special occasion.  Showing Sameen Root is always thinking about her and their relationship will never fall apart certainly qualifies.  She puts the program onto a USB and tiptoes into Sameen’s room, leaving it on her desk. 


	45. Onstream OE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sameen loves Root's gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short snippet because I ran out of time. 
> 
> I will write a snippet based on a prompt from the first person that figures out why Root named the program Onstream OE.

By the time Root wakes up it’s almost 1pm on Saturday.  It’d been an exhausting week and she hadn’t drifted off until almost four in the morning thinking about Sameen and what she could do to reassure her.  Even if it’s not about Root, she wants Sameen to understand Root will always stand by her no matter what happens.

Everyone seems to be out unless Sameen’s in the basement.  She grabs an apple for breakfast and heads downstairs; no Sameen.  Root decides to tidy up before maman comes down here and sees the mess.  Plus it’s starting to smell a little like a locker room.  She throws all the remnants of their snacks over the last few days in the trash and tidies up.  She grabs all of Sameen’s dirty towels to throw in the hamper and decides to wipe down the weight benches and spray some Lysol.  When she’s done she looks around quite satisfied with her work.

She hears someone upstairs and goes to check; Sameen’s walking in with a bag from her favorite deli.  “Hey, I brought you a sandwich from the sub place.”

“Thanks, I’m starving.”

“Must be all that sleeping,” Sameen teases.

“Ha ha,” she grouses and takes her sandwich.  “I’ll have you know I cleaned up downstairs.”

“Ooh, sounds exhausting.”  Root ignores the good natured teasing; happy Sameen seems to be in a good mood.  They sit and eat in comfortable silence until Root jumps in her chair at the clap of thunder.  She hadn’t really noticed the crappy weather.  “Did you go out in the rain, Sam?”

“It was only sprinkling and I was starving.  Maman went to run errands and bâbâ had to go into the office.”  She stands and pulls up the window shade.  “It’s pouring now; looks like we’re stuck here.”  Sameen frowns.  She doesn’t like to be cooped up on the weekends.  “I can’t wait until I can drive.”

Root grins sardonically.  “We’d still be stuck; no car.”  Sameen rolls her eyes.

“I have to finish the game by Monday anyway so I need to work on it and I’ll need your help.”

“That reminds me, I think you left a USB stick on my desk.  I saw it this morning.”

“Actually it’s for you Sam.  Check the blog.”  Sameen tenses at Root’s mention of the blog.  It’s a rule they don’t talk about anything Sameen posts there.  Those are the things she can’t bring herself to share or talk about directly.  But Root doesn’t say anything and after a minute she can see Sameen’s shoulders relax.

 

* * *

 

Root’s downstairs coding when Sameen comes down with the drive.  “I can’t access it.”  Root’s puzzled, she tested it last night.  “I’ll check your laptop port later, but let me try it on mine.”  Root saves her work and plugs the stick into her laptop.  It loads fine and the screen pops up.  “The program gives you access to over a thousand movies and TV shows.  See it’s searchable like Netflix, but much better content.  You can also add your own stuff.”

“Where’d you get it?  That’s fucking cool.”

“I wrote the program for you; I worked on it all summer.  I named it Onstream OE.”  Sameen looks at her with a mixture of glee and maybe discomfort.  “It’s not a big deal, I’d been toying with the idea on and off for a couple of years.  Other people have tried but no one’s really been able to make it work.”

“Except you.”  Root shrugs her shoulders.  “Let me know if you find any bugs, I didn’t spend a lot of time testing it, so it’s possible there’s some glitch once you start actually sifting through and watching stuff.  It will also remember where you stopped whatever you were watching.”

“Where’d the name come from?”

“Well Onstream means 'into useful operation' and the OE stands for Omniscient Entertainment.  But that’s not really why I chose the name.”

“So why did you?” 

Root smiles enigmatically.  “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks Root.  It’s the best present I’ve ever gotten,” she murmurs nervously looking away.  Sameen knows what Root’s glossed over.  She worked on this specifically for Sameen, because she knows how much Sameen enjoys movies and her old favorite shows like the Twilight Zone.  Since they’d put the tv from their old room in the basement, Sameen's been complaining she can’t get them on her laptop when she wants to watch in her room.

“I’d reserve judgment; you might like this game better.”  Root makes light of the gift, trying to ease Shaw’s discomfort.

 

* * *

 

They spend the afternoon working on the game.  “Come on Root, we need more weapons,” Sameen pleads.  “Sweetie I know you think I’m a genius but every weapon you add means a lot more coding, because it’s not like adding an item to a cart; I have to integrate it with every other weapon so they can work together as you requested.

So for purposes of my _goal_ , i.e. the computer club, we’re going to limit it to mines, spikes, crossbows, and the jumper things you wanted to bounce the dummy around.  But I promise I’ll keep working on your list of weapons and keep adding them.  So far you want saws, portals, piranhas and monsters, but I’ll need you to be more specific about the fish and monsters.  So think about what you want them to do exactly.”

“Root! Piranhas aren’t some ordinary fish!  They’re ferocious predators!  Their teeth are so strong people used to make tools and weapons out of them.  They can tear your skin right of your bones,” Sameen enthuses.

Root smiles indulgently, “consider me educated sweetie; ferocious predators, got it.


	46. Shopping, Video Games, & Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its inevitable Root will soon belong to someone else; but Sameen doesn’t like the thought at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jay kay hope this meets the expectations for your prompt!
> 
> MJ deserves all the credit for the description of the outfits and the best part of Shaw's drooling over Root. Thanks! You've made this fic better than I could've done on my own! <3
> 
> The selection of the dresses and their descriptions was all MJ! Thanks!

Root’s phone pings with a text message.  It’s on the couch by Sameen so she tosses it to her. 

//weather sucks! you guys want to go get something to eat at the mall? hang out?//

Root looks at Sameen before replying.  She really wants to spend time with Sameen this weekend to kind of recalibrate.  Hanna is asking _both_ of them….

“Hanna wants to know if we want to go to the mall with her and grab something to eat and hang out.”  Sameen doesn’t look up from her phone.  “Sweetie?”

“You can do whatever you want Root.”  She rolls her eyes, still focused on whatever she’s doing on her phone. 

“I want to spend time with you.  So I want to know if you want to go, otherwise I’ll just tell her no.”

“I don’t want to stop you from doing something you want to do Root.  Just go.”

//Sorry, not today; working on the game, but thanks for asking!//

// :(//

“Girls, we’re leaving for the play,” Mah calls out.  “There’s money on the table for dinner.  Call us if you need anything.”

“Have fun maman,” Root yells back.

Sameen finally puts her phone down.  “So are you leaving?”

“No, sweetie.”  It’s barely there, but Sameen’s kind of glad Root chose to stay.

“You mind if I put music on?  I want to hear Lorde’s new album.”

“I don’t mind.  I actually haven’t heard it yet either.”

“I’m going to grab my sketch pad; I’ll bring the speaker.”

Root’s thinking about the play Mah and Abbas are going to see and she remembers the benefit for the shelter.  “Sam!  I think we need to go to the mall after all!”

Sameen comes down a few minutes later, “what are you yelling about?”

“The benefit for the shelter’s tomorrow; I need something to wear.”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  “Don’t think you’re getting out of it Sameen.  You need something to wear too; it’s semi-formal.”  Sameen gives her a look like Root just announced she’d gone vegan.

“It’s important as many of the volunteers as possible participate Sameen; so we can explain to potential donors the need the shelter fills in the community.  You know firsthand the shortage of medical supplies and the types of preventative care the kids need.  I’m going to try to get enough computers donated to setup a real lab with equipment manufactured sometime in this decade.”

With a sigh worthy of a condemned prisoner, Sameen agrees.

//Hey, still up for the mall?//

//Yes! My mom will drive us; be there in 20//

While Sameen’s changing, Root decides to check the blog.  Its rare Sam spends so much time on her phone unless she’s playing a game.  So maybe she posted something else.

_Sameen: Saturday 5:15pm_

_That’s my line…and it’s an anagram of our names.  Root Sameen = Onstream OE_

_Root: Saturday 5:35pm_

_It’s **ours** …and very clever sweetie.  I’ll have to make the next one harder._

Root logs out and feels a little relieved.  Maybe she did give Sameen what she needs.  She’s definitely going to check the blog every night from now on until she feels Sameen’s back in a secure place; the blog is their private connection and Root’s missed their posts now that she thinks about it.  Maybe it’s not just Sameen who needs it now.

 

* * *

 

“No, Sam.  New black jeans and a button down are not semi-formal attire.”  Sameen’s been scowling since they got to the mall, rejecting every dress in sight.  “Sameen do you trust me?”

“Depends,” she pouts.

Root raises her eyebrows and looks at her solemnly.  “No, it’s either yes or no swe..Sam.”  Root catches herself before she calls Sameen sweetie in front of Hanna.  She doesn’t need Sameen infuriated for a whole other reason.  “Yes,” Sameen bites out against her better judgment.  “Okay, so go grab a pretzel with Hanna and meet me back here in 15 minutes okay?”  Hanna looks at Root like she just got shoved under a bus.  Root smiles at her reassuringly.

“C’mon Shaw I could use a snack.”  Sameen gives Root one last glare but follows Hanna out of the store.  Root takes a deep breath.  She knows exactly what she’s looking for; she just needs to find it.

Hanna doesn’t try to engage Shaw in conversation, knowing she’s not the chatty type even when she’s not pissed off.  Hanna pauses at the window display for the electronics store.  “I didn’t realize it was out.  Maybe when we’re done we can come back so I can buy it.”  Sameen looks at her distractedly.  “What?”

“Quantum Break for the Xbox; it’s supposed to be the best single player game out now.  Through an accident during a time travel experiment, time itself is falling apart and it’s up to the player to fix it and save the world from certain destruction.”  Hanna sees interest spark in Shaw’s eyes.  “That actually sounds like it doesn’t suck.”

“I’m also looking for Diablo III.  It’s a dark medieval fantasy action RPG where you wander around and kill enemies – demons, spiders and other monsters.”  That actually sounds like fun to Shaw.  “You a gamer?”  She asks Hanna curiously.  “Not by choice.  But we’ve moved around a lot since my father’s in the military.  It’s something to do when you don’t have any friends.” 

Sameen’s not exactly empathetic, but she’s starting to see Hanna as a real person and not just a caricature of some of the other mindless girls Root attracts like stray puppies.  “Root says you’re a black belt.”

Sameen’s surprised.  She wouldn’t think she’d be the topic of conversation between Root and Hanna.  “Yeah.  I’m a third-dan black-belt in the taekwondo discipline.  I’ve been going to a dojo since I was five.”  Hanna looks impressed and Sameen looks away, not comfortable with the obvious admiration. 

Before Hanna can ask anything else, she spots a familiar face over Shaw’s shoulder.  “Uh, actually Shaw, you mind if we just run in real quick now.  It’ll give Root more time to look for your outfit.”  Sameen shrugs and follows her into the store, appreciating the fact Root’s not nearly as flighty as most girls; changing their minds on a whim.

But Hanna didn’t just change her mind.  The last thing they need is another confrontation with Jules, who doesn’t seem to understand she’s playing with fire coming between Root and Shaw.  She’s clearly crushing on Root, but has picked the exact wrong way to get her attention.  Hanna’d caught sight of the redhead walking with another girl she didn’t recognize.  She glances casually behind them, but it seems they’ve lost them before being spotted. 

Hanna asked Root about Shaw the day Root came over after school.  She thinks Root is really cute and she’d been receptive to Hanna’s overture for friendship, unlike everyone else she’d tried to talk to at school those first couple of days.  It’s hard being new in high school where people pretty much have their clicks and have known each other for years.

Although she’s only spent a short while with Root and Shaw together, she sensed the two were close.  She wanted to know…well…just _how_ close because a small crush bloomed when she saw Root in class the first day biting her lower lip; it was just adorable.  Root wasn’t very forthcoming, but she’d told Hanna enough to understand Shaw and her family rescued Root from an abusive home life.

But looking into Root’s eyes when she talked about Shaw firmly dashed any of Hanna’s hopes.  Root may not know it yet, but she’s in love with her best friend.  But she still likes Root and now that Shaw’s being a little less deliberately intimidating, she’s warming up to her too.  She thinks they’d be good friends; something about them just screams genuine and loyal. 

So Hanna’s going to protect her new friends from unnecessary trouble.  Shaw probably still needs a couple of days to calm down from yesterday’s incident in the locker room and a fight in a public mall falls into the category of trouble.

 

* * *

 

Root thinks she’s found exactly the right outfit for Sameen and she’s waiting for her and Hanna by the dressing rooms when she hears a familiar voice.  “Hey Root.”  Root sighs and rolls her eyes before she turns around.  “Jules,” she smiles in greeting, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.  “Listen, I’m glad I ran into you.  I wanted to apologize about yesterday; I know I took it too far.”  Root looks at her patiently, but doesn’t say anything.  “So I wanted to make it up to you.”

Root sighs.  “It’s not me you need to apologize to Jules.”  Jules’ smile loses a bit of its luster.  “Yeah, I’ll talk to Shaw on Monday, but I know you were pissed off too.  Anyway, I wanted to ask if you’d go with me to the mixer next week and give me a chance to show you I’m not a total jerk.”

“You mean like a date?”  Root clarifies.  Jules seems flustered, but doesn’t back down, “yeah.  I’d really like it, if you would I mean.”  It’s not the first time Root’s been asked on a date.  Last year she’d been asked to the junior high prom and so had Sameen.  They’d both turned down the dates, skipped prom, and gone paint-balling. 

Jules is pretty and athletic in a Sameen-like way, but something about it just doesn’t feel right.  “No, but thanks.”  Root decides firmly but gently.  Jules frowns but recovers quickly.  She reaches for Root’s hand and tugs on it gently.  “Give me a chance…”  Root knows Sameen will be back any minute and it will not be pretty.  “Look Jules, I’m not a big believer in words.  You want to show me who you are then do it.  Not because you’re making it up to me or on your best behavior for a night.  But right now, I’m not interested in what I’ve seen so far.”

“Come on, I know Shaw’s your friend,” she starts disbelievingly.  But Root shakes her head and stops her.  “This is exactly what I mean Jules.  You don’t get it.  I’d have the same opinion of you if I’d seen what you’d done to a total stranger.  It’s not who you did it _to_ ; it’s that you’re the type of person who’d do that to someone at all.”  Jules seems to realize it’s time to back off because she lets go of Root’s hand.  “Okay Root,” she shrugs.  “Have a good weekend,” she smiles as she walks off.  Root takes a deep breath and turns to see Hanna and Sameen approaching. 

Root studies them.  Sameen doesn’t seem surlier than usual and Hanna’s still breathing so she’ll call it a win.  “Okay Root; let’s see it.”  Root smiles softly and hands Sameen a black dress and boots.  Sameen holds it out in both hands and doesn’t reject it outright, which is a good sign.  “Fine; I’ll try it on.”

She comes back out a few minutes later.  “It’s fine.”  Root quirks her lips and shakes her head.  “Okay let’s go.”

“Don’t you need to find something to wear too?”

“I did; it’s at the register.”

 

* * *

 

Root can tell Sameen’s hungry and getting grumpier by the minute.  “I’ll meet you guys at the food court.  I need to pick up a new USB card at the computer store.”  Sameen’s about to complain, but realizes it’s for her computer so she can use Root’s program.  “Yeah, okay,” she grumps.  Hanna gives Root a playful long-suffering glance, but she really doesn’t mind keeping Shaw company; they may have more in common than Hanna originally thought.

The food court smells assault Root as she looks for Hanna and Sameen.  The overwhelming aroma of the food makes Root realize she’s hungry too.  It’s not a feeling she gets often; she still forgets to eat and if it weren’t for Sameen she’d be underweight. 

She spots Hanna at a table and walks over to drop off the bags.  “Shaw said she’s getting you something to eat,” Hanna tells her through a mouthful of burger.  “Good.  It always takes me forever to decide.” 

Hanna looks around to make sure Shaw’s not near.  “I saw Jules earlier, but I diverted Shaw to the electronics store to avoid a scene.”

Root sighs.  “I actually did run into her.  She tried to apologize and asked me to the mixer next week.”  Hanna raises her eyebrows.  “How’d she take it when you turned her down?”  Root quirks her lip in a questioning smile.  “What makes you think I did?”  Hanna scoffs and snort-laughs.  “We just met, but I get the sense you’re not the type to let someone off so easy.”  Hanna doesn’t share the real reason she’s sure Root won’t go on a date with Jules.

Root shrugs.  “Eh, she took it okay.  Pushed a little at first when I said no, but then she seemed to understand.  I’m pretty selective about the people I let into my life and I’m not impressed with her apparent capacity for the casual humiliation of others.”

“You going to tell Shaw,” Hanna asks curiously; mostly because she doesn’t want to say anything inadvertently.  “Probably.  We don’t keep secrets.”  Sameen joins them a few minutes later, setting a plate of orange chicken with rice by Root.  “Thanks Sam.”  Shaw doesn’t answer, her mouth already stuffed with her own food.

They end up at Hanna’s playing Diablo III.  Hanna has four controllers and it’s a game they can play together.  “Keep up Root!  You keep falling off-screen.”

“I’m a wizard.  I’m supposed to stay back or I’ll get squished!”  Sameen and Hannah exchange an exasperated look.  “Yeah Root, but if you don’t stay close enough, you’re no use to us,” Hanna explains patiently.  “The whole point of having a wizard in the party is taking advantage of the enormous amount of damage they can inflict.”  Root rolls her eyes and drops a meteor.  “Isn’t the point of a barbarian to send enemies flying while the rest of us hang back?” 

“I’m dropping a smoke screen,” Hanna announces.  Root promptly walks her wizard away.  “No Root, don’t run.  The point is to attack as hard as possible while we’re invisible.”  Root decides she’s going to make it a priority to hack this game and show off the next time they play. 

Sameen looks at her phone when it buzzes.  “Maman’s on her way Root.”  They stop play at the next check point.

Mah knocks on the door and introduces herself to Hanna’s mom.  “Thanks for taking the girls to the mall, Sherrie.”

“No problem.  I’m happy Hanna’s made friends so soon.  It’s not easy for her since we move around a lot.”  They chat for a few minutes while the girls gather their things.

 

* * *

 

“Root, are you ready?  We’re waiting on you.”

“Give me a minute.”  Sameen rolls her eyes, but forgets all her impatience when Root walks out of her room. 

She’s wearing a midnight blue cocktail dress with a crystal beaded belt and a wide neck accentuating her collarbones, encouraging the eye to follow their path to the soft dimple at her throat.  But glancing even higher, Sameen can’t seem to take her eyes off Root’s sultry lips, which are shaded burgundy and smiling with a bit of mischief.  She does a mental face palm.  Sultry?  When did Root’s lips become sultry?

“Sameen?  Are you okay?”  Root asks guilelessly; although she knows exactly the effect she just had on her.  Interesting.  It never occurred to Root Sameen might find her…attractive?

“Uh, yeah.  Mah and Abbas are already in the car.  Let’s go.”

Sameen stops to lock the door.  As she turns, Root’s already walking to the car.  Sameen notices how her strappy heals emphasize the definition of her strong calves and accentuate the curve of her butt.  It’s unfair her legs are so perfect.  Sameen’s imaging what it would be like to have them wrapped around her and she’s not sure she’s thinking about cuddling.  No, she is not admiring Root’s body and the tightening in her gut has nothing to do with how _hot_ looks Root tonight.  Absolutely not; she’s just noting objective facts.

Root decides not to mention the flush creeping up Sameen’s face or the way her breath sounds faster and harsher.  But she notices…and she grins inwardly.

 

* * *

 

Root catches Sameen glancing at her throughout the evening as they mingle and talk to the potential donors.  It’s not lost on her how stunning Sameen looks in her dress either.  It’s a simple knee-length cap-sleeve black dress, but it clings in all the right places and Root compliments herself on her selection.  Sameen’s stunning no matter what she’s wearing.  She has a natural beauty and when she smiles the world around her lights up; or at least Root’s world lights up.

Mah’s been watching the girls watch each other.  She’s not really surprised at what she’s seeing, but she’s not sure it’s healthy for them.  She needs an objective viewpoint; she’ll call Anwen tomorrow. 

“Did that man just touch your ass Root?”  Sameen asks indignantly.  “Yeah.  Creep.  He wanted to know if I’d meet with him privately to discuss the donation of the computers.”

“You better have said no, Root.”  Root smile at Sameen’s protectiveness.  “Of course Sam.”  Sameen’s eyes track the man, thinking how’d she’d like to break his hand.  Root yawns.  “You think maman and bâbâ are ready to go?  I’ve had enough of feigning politeness.”

“Of course; I’ll tell bâbâ.”

Root falls asleep in the car, her head leaning on Sameen’s shoulder.  A wave of protectiveness washes over Sameen.  It’s a feeling she has often, even though she knows Root’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself.  She tries to ignore the feeling; the one that demands Root’s hers and no one else’s.  Its inevitable Root will soon belong to someone else; but Sameen doesn’t like the thought at all.   


	47. Siberia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw treats Root like shit and Root goes on a date with Jules.

They’re walking to lunch on Monday and Root’s trying to figure out a way to tell Sameen about Jules asking her out.  She’s worried she should do it now, because if Jules mentions it at track practice or worse, in two minutes at lunch, Sameen’s going to feel Root kept it from her deliberately.

“Sam, you mind if we eat lunch outside?  I’m not in the mood for the crowd in the cafeteria today."  Sameen shrugs her shoulders, “Okay; I’ll get our drinks and meet you out by the tree.”  But Root’s not taking the chance she’ll run into Jules.  “You go ahead, I’ll get them; milk or water?”  Those are pretty much the only two things Sameen drinks regularly.  “Milk.”

 

The weather’s turning cooler as summer cedes to fall and there’s a slight breeze causing goose bumps along Root’s arms and the gentle wind tugs at her hair and clothes.  “I told you to grab a jacket this morning,” Sameen reminds her smugly.  Root rolls her eyes, “yeah, yeah” but doesn’t complain when a long-sleeved hoodie lands on her lap and she slips it over her head gratefully.

“I ran into Jules Saturday at the mall.”  There’s a slight pause before Sameen takes another bite of her sandwich.  “She apologized for taking your clothes.”  Sameen glances at Root and her eyes say ‘so what?’  “I told her she needed to apologize to you.”

Sameen sighs, “I don’t want her apologies; she just needs to stay away from me.”  Oh boy.  Root almost chickens out and keeps her mouth shut about the date invite, but then remembers Sameen will find out sooner or later.  “She asked me to the mixer this week.”

Sameen stops eating and focuses on Root.  “She asked you on a date?”  She asks incredulously.  Her words carry a bite and Root’s mildly offended.  “Is it so unfathomable someone would ask me on a date Sam?”  Sameen looks away.  “I suppose not, but you did call her an asshole,” Sameen responds flatly.  “You should go.”

“Excuse me?”  Root’s sure she must’ve misunderstood, but Sameen doesn’t explain.  “Why?”

“I started the whole thing; she was looking for you and I jerked her around.  I can see why it made her angry.  Besides, you think she’s pretty don’t you?  I saw the way you looked at her when you met her.”

“Yes, she’s pretty, but—” Sameen stands abruptly and walks away.

 

* * *

 

At first Root thinks Sameen’s skipping class, but then realizes she’s sitting at the front with no empty desks around her.  Root sighs inwardly.  She was just being honest and she’s never deliberately hurt Sameen, but she’s somewhat annoyed too; she’s the one blameless party in this mess.  She doesn’t try to talk to Sameen and heads to her next class when the bell rings.

“Hey Root; everything okay?  You guys weren’t at lunch…”  Hanna asks with concern.

“No; maybe.  I don’t know,” Root decides exasperatedly.  “I told Sameen about Jules and she told me I should go and walked away.”  Hanna raises her eyebrows in surprise.  “I doubt she meant it.”

“She said she knew I thought Jules was pretty by the way I looked at her when we met.”

“How’d you look at her?”

“I may have been a little…flustered.  I’m not blind.”  She sounds defensive and Hanna wonders whether she should say anything or just listen.  “Maybe Shaw just needs a little time to process,” Hanna offers hopefully.  She doesn’t point out Sameen's obviously jealous and it has nothing to do with Jules' stunt; it will just open a can of worms Hanna thinks Root’s not ready to talk about.

Root goes with Hanna to the computer club meeting and gives her game to Daniel on a USB.  The meeting’s not long since he needs to review all the programs submitted before he announces who’s been approved for membership.

“You want to come over,” Hanna offers.

“No…thanks; I need to straighten things out with Sameen.  An understanding look graces Hanna’s face as she walks away.  Root debates waiting for Sameen to finish track practice, but decides against it.  She’s sure to run into Jules and she doesn’t need to add any fuel to the fire.

 

* * *

 

“Hi Root, how was school?”  Maman greets her when she gets home.  “It was fine; I submitted my project to see if I get into the computer club.  I’m pretty sure I will.”  Maman smiles at her affectionately.  But she can tell something’s bothering Root.  “Are you okay nāzi?” 

“Yeah, just tired,” Root adds with a weak smile.

 

She flops down onto the couch in the basement.  Root doesn’t understand what set Shaw off; not really.  But then she remembers she never got to tell Sameen she turned Jules down before she stalked away.  Maybe Sameen feels betrayed Root would go out with someone who mistreated her.

She decides to catch up with Orphan Black, but when the first episode ends she realizes she wasn’t really paying attention.  Sameen should be back from track practice, but she hasn’t come downstairs.  Root decides to go find her and end this nonsense before it blows out of proportion.  But Sameen’s not home. 

//Hey, where are you?//

Root waits for a response, but Sameen doesn’t text her.  She tries calling her, but it goes to voicemail.  Root considers tracking her phone but she’s not sure it’s a good idea.  She decides to wait until Sameen comes home.  Maybe by then they’ll be able to talk.

But Root shouldn’t have underestimated Sameen’s stubbornness or her ability to shut Root out.  It rarely happens anymore; Sameen deliberately pushing her away.

She doesn’t come home until right before dinner and doesn’t look at Root once at the table.  Sameen often doesn’t engage in dinner time conversation since she’s single-mindedly focused on her food usually; but she’s deliberately avoiding Root’s gaze.  Root helps Mah clear the dishes and load the dishwasher and by the time she gets to her room Sameen’s in the shower.

 

The water went off a while ago and Root decides to try to talk to her.  But the door leading from the bathroom to her room is shut.  Root tries the door handle tentatively, but it’s locked.  That’s never happened.  They’ve been living in the house for months and neither one has ever closed the doors linking their rooms.  Root goes into the hall, not surprised to find that door shut too.  She knocks and waits but Sameen doesn’t answer or open the door.  Root decides not to push; it’s clear Sameen doesn’t want to speak to her.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Root finds her lunch on the kitchen table and Sameen’s already left for school.  Usually Sameen packs their lunches together and the simple change hits Root hard.  She pushes the feeling down and lets anger replace it.  She hasn’t done anything wrong.  She turned down the date!  But even if she hadn’t, Sameen’s overreacting.  They should be able to disagree without Root being punished with Sameen’s absence.  Now she’s just getting angry.

Sameen pulls the same sitting at the front shit through all their classes and doesn’t come to lunch.  Root looks for her by their tree, but she’s not there either.  Root throws out her lunch and decides to skip her computer class; she doubts Harold will report her absence.  She can’t go home though because if maman’s there she’ll know something’s wrong, so she bikes to the park.

It’s small with a couple of picnic benches, mostly used by people to walk their dogs.  At this time of day its empty, the only sounds the birds chirping and squirrels chattering as they leap from tree to tree.  Root hates being at odds with Sameen.  Usually she’d know what to do, but this time she has no clue.  When Sameen’s mad at her, she’ll be sullen and sarcastic, but she’s never _avoided_ Root.  Root checks the blog, but Sameen hasn’t posted anything.

By Thursday Root’s had enough.  She tracks Sameen’s phone at lunch time and finds her in the locker room.  Sameen doesn’t say anything and won’t look at her.  “Okay Sameen; this has gone on long enough.  I don’t deserve this treatment.  You didn’t give me a chance to tell you, but I turned Jules down.”  She waits for Sameen’s reaction, but there isn’t one.  She knows Sameen’s hurting even if she doesn’t understand why.  “Sam, please.  Talk to me.”

She thinks maybe Sameen’s about to finally tell her what’s wrong, but a group of girls walk into the locker room, Jules among them.  Fuck!  She just can’t catch a break.  Sameen leaves immediately without saying a word.  Root debates going after her, but she knows there isn’t any point now.

She looks over when someone sits next to her on the bench.  “Hey Root.”  Of course; Jules.  “Hey.”  Jules clears her throat and Root wishes she’d just leave her alone.  “I apologized to Shaw and we’re good now.  She seems to think we’re going to the mixer together though, so I was wondering if you’d changed your mind,” she asks hopefully.  Before Root can respond, she rushes on.  “Shaw said it was cool with her.”

“I have to get to class, Jules.  See you around.”

 

* * *

 

Hanna can tell Root’s angry.  After class Root asks if she wants to hang out.  “Sure, what do you want to do?”

“Let’s go to your house and play Diablo.”  She figures some mindless violence may help her take her mind off the whole Sameen situation.  She’d go to the gun range, but she’s too angry and doesn’t want to handle a gun when she feels so out of sorts.

 

Root stays for dinner and Hanna’s mom drops her off around 8pm.  Sameen’s locked in her room for the fourth day in a row.  Root doesn’t bother to knock, just picks the lock leading from the bathroom to Sameen’s room.  They’ve both mastered the skill through lots of practice and Root's actually pretty good at it.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s sitting on her bed, leaning against the headboard, laptop on the bed next to her.  She looks up and doesn’t seem surprised.  At least she’s meeting Root’s eyes.  Root sits on the end of the bed and sighs.  “Sameen you can’t ignore me indefinitely.  Just tell me why you’re so upset…please.”

“I’m not; I just needed some space Root.  We’re not attached at the hip.”  There’s no emotion in her words or on her face.  Root feels like she’s been slapped.  Sameen’s never given any indication she feels they spend too much time together. 

In fact, she’s the one who insisted on matching their schedules so they could have all their classes together.  She put a desk in the basement so Root could code comfortably and they could be together even though they were doing different things.  She always asks Root to join her at the range and to bike ride.  So yeah, it’s rare they’re not together, but it’s not one-sided, no matter what Sameen’s implying with her comment. 

“Is this about Jules and the dance?  Because your need for space seems to have been triggered the exact moment I told you she asked me out.”  The indifferent look never leaves Sameen’s face.  “No.  I was angry when I’d thought you’d said yes because it seemed like a betrayal after what she’d done.  But she apologized and we’re good. 

I really don’t care who you go out with or where you spend your time Root; Hanna, Jules, whoever.  In fact, I’m glad.”  Root’s never been confronted with the Sameen who’s talking to her like they’re strangers; worse, like Sameen’s sick of her.  “Okay Sam,” she says softly.

Root shuts Sameen’s door behind her quietly and closes hers as well.  

Sameen stares at the closed door and feels…numb.  The same way she’s been feeling all week.  But really; it’s for the best.  They’re not kids anymore. 

Root cries quietly in her bed; she doesn’t want anyone to hear her, especially Sameen.  She’d like to believe Sameen’s just hurt or maybe even insecure, but her words were intended to wound.  Sameen wanted to hurt her and Root’s not sure she will ever get over it.

 

* * *

 

Friday brings more of the same, although Sameen goes back to sitting next to Root in their classes.  But she doesn’t really talk to her and she’s continued to pack their lunches separately.  Although Root guesses she should be happy she’s still packing Root’s lunch at all.

At lunch Sameen sits at another table with some people from the track team, including Jules.  Hanna looks on worriedly but she’s not sure what she can do to help either of them.  Out of the corner of her eye Root sees Sameen whisper in Jules’ ear and gesture towards Root.  Jules seems uncertain and asks her a question.  Sameen says something and then smiles; seconds later, Jules’ at Root’s side.

“Hi Root.  Uh, Shaw says maybe you’d changed your mind about the dance.”  Root suspected as much.  She gives Jules her full-body smile, the one she’s never given anyone but Sameen, well almost anyway; she can't quite get it to reach her eyes, but Jules won't know the difference.  “Absolutely.”  Jules seems surprised but recovers quickly.  “Great!  I’ll pick you up tomorrow around 7pm?  My big brother can drive us.”

“Sounds perfect.  I can’t wait.”

Hanna knows this will be an absolute disaster.  Root doesn’t want to go with Jules to the dance anymore than Shaw wants her to go.  “Root, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”  Root shrugs, but the smile’s gone.

Sameen saw the smile Root gave Jules.  The smile that until now belonged to her.  She's stunned and maybe...sad.  But she doesn't do sad and lets anger take its place. 

 

* * *

 

Saturday Root goes to the mall with Hanna and buys a new outfit.  It is her first date after all; even if it feels so totally awful.  She’s having doubts and maybe she should just skip the dance.  It’s not even fair to Jules, because Root knows she doesn’t particularly like her and doubts it’ll change.  Despite what she’d told her, Root’s anger at her has everything to do with Sameen.  Root’s never let anyone get away with hurting her.  But if Sameen doesn’t care then why should she?  It’s a date not some long-term commitment.

Hanna helps Root carry in the bags and tells her mother to wait.  Root’s confused because she doesn't need help carrying two bags.  “Did you need to tell me something?”  Hanna looks nervous and Root has no idea why.  “No, I just, uh, wanted to say hi to Shaw.”

 

Hanna finds her in the basement.  “Hey Shaw.”  If Sameen’s surprised Hanna’s alone, she doesn’t show it.  “Hey.”

“My mom’s waiting but I was wondering if you want to go to the dance tonight.”

Shaw looks at her like Hanna’s speaking a foreign language.  “No! I mean not go _go_ with me, just do you need a ride?” 

Sameen hadn’t been planning on going at all.  But maybe it’s exactly what she needs; to see Root with Jules and finally get rid of the sick feeling she’s had all week. 

When Root told her about Jules she felt like she was suffocating; it’s why she walked away.  Her vision blurred and she felt lightheaded all of a sudden.  Then the feeling slowly sunk to the pit of her stomach and took up residence.  She feels unbalanced and even the dojo hasn’t helped.  The only time she can remember feeling this upset was when they took Root.  But she can’t go back there; she’s not six years-old anymore.  She needs to find a way to reestablish her equilibrium.

“Sure.”

“Okay I’ll see you later then.”

Sameen goes back to her movie and Hanna walks slowly up the stairs.  She hopes she’s not making a huge mistake.  But she thinks Root and Shaw need to confront their feelings; they’re both miserable.  If Hanna had any doubt Shaw reciprocated Root’s feelings, she’d stay out of it.  Hopefully it won’t backfire on all of them.

 

* * *

 

Balloons hover near the ceiling, blocking out the sports banners that usually decorate the gym. Lights twinkle and the basketball court is riddled with students dancing in couples or groups. It usually smells like sweat and humiliation in here, but tonight the air is scented with perfume and hairspray.  Sameen prefers the sweat; the amount of cologne in the air almost makes her gag.

It only takes a minute for her to find Root.  It’s like an invisible line drawing Sameen in her direction.  It’s always been this way for both of them; like innate radar targeted on each other.  She’d managed to avoid Root before she left with Jules, so she isn’t prepared for the sight or her suddenly dry mouth. 

Root’s long hair frames her angular face and chiseled cheekbones.  She’s wearing light makeup, her eyes smoky and her lips red, and her deep blue shirt shimmers against her pale skin.  The skinny black jeans accentuate legs that go on forever and Sameen feels trapped.  Root’s black leather jacket hangs open and does nothing to shelter her cleavage, an open top button hinting at the breasts underneath. 

Anger courses through Sameen’s blood when Jules casually rests her hand around Root’s waist, her eyes straying too low as far as Sameen’s concerned.  Hanna observes Shaw and wonders if this was a good idea after all.  But Shaw just turns away resolutely, “let’s see about the punch.”  Although Sameen’s thinking about another kind of punch altogether.

Root’s gaze lingers thoughtfully long after Sameen and Hanna disappear into the crowd.  She’s distracted and misses Jules question.  “I’m sorry…”

“Would you like to dance?”

Root may have lost sight of Sameen, but Sameen’s eyes track her as she walks onto the dance floor with Jules.  Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You is playing and Root moves like she’s part of the song, her hips and shoulders swaying decadently.  It’s almost like Sameen’s gaze is heavy on her body and she looks up unerringly to meet her eyes.  She never takes her eyes off Sameen while she moves only a hair’s breath away from Jules, molding to her but never quite touching.

Sameen’s seen Root dance before; on a few rare occasions they'd even danced together.  But she never envisioned Root dancing with someone else or how it would devastate her.  Root runs her hands down her body vibrating to the beat, a coy smile on her face.  She mouths the words to the song, devouring Sameen with her intensity.

 

 _Girl, you know I want your love_  
_Your love was handmade for somebody like me_  
_Come on now, follow my lead_

Hanna observes Root and Shaw and wonders how Jules can be so oblivious as to not realize Root’s not dancing for her.  At this point Root’s barely dancing _with_ her. 

Sameen feels like everything fades and only her and Root exist.  Until Jules places her hands on Root’s hips.  Only one thought sears her mind.  ‘She’s mine.’  No one else should be putting their hands on Root.  She starts towards the dance floor, but Root’s attention lingers on Jules and she stops and takes a deep breath.  Maybe this is what she needs to desensitize herself to the feelings seeing Root with someone else evokes.  But she can’t do it.  She turns swiftly and exits through the side door.

 

She gulps huge breaths of air like she’d just run a marathon and still she can’t breathe.  Then Hanna’s there with a water bottle.  She chugs it in one go and leans against the wall.  “Thanks.”  Hanna starts to speak, but Shaw shakes her head.  “I just need to be alone for a few minutes.”  Hanna nods and slips back through the door.

Hanna sees Root take Jules’ hands firmly off her body with an unyielding look and head towards the bathroom.  When Root comes out she pulls her to a secluded corner.  “Root, what are you doing?”

Root looks at her sadly.  “I’m on a date.”

“Why?”

Root meets her gaze helplessly.  “I don’t know.”

“Look Root I know Shaw egged Jules on and it hurt.  But trust me when I tell you, Shaw doesn’t want you on a date with anyone.”  She leaves the ‘but her’ unsaid.  Root sighs deeply.  “That may be Hanna.  But she doesn’t want me either.”  She looks longingly across the room and it’s clear she’s looking for Sameen.  “Not the way I want her,” she whispers wistfully, but then shakes herself out of it and smiles widely; it doesn’t reach her eyes.  “So I’m going to enjoy my first date.”

Root walks away.  Deciding she needs some air first, she ducks out the side door.  As the door closes, she sees a figure slowly revealed behind it.  “ _Sameen_ ,” she breathes softly.  It’s never happened to her before but Sameen freezes.  Root leans her shoulder on the wall next to her.  “Hi Sam.”  Sameen aims for an indifferent stare, but Root sees something else in her eyes.  “Enjoying yourself I see,” Sameen comments apathetically. 

Root considers her response carefully.  She can proceed cautiously or be honest.  At this point she figures she doesn’t have much to lose.  “I’d rather be with you.”

“Yet you’re here with…her,” Sameen spits out, not able to bring herself to say Jules name. 

“Who should we blame for that Sameen?  I turned her down twice and you encouraged her to ask me out again.”

“I didn’t make you say yes.”

“Didn’t you?”

“What do you want from me Root?”

“The truth.”

Sameen looks at her like a caged lion before she lunges, crushing her lips against Root’s.  Her hand winds its way into Root’s hair and she pulls them even closer, thrusting her tongue into Root’s mouth forcefully claiming her.  Root threads her fingers through the loops on Sameen’s jeans and pulls her until no space exists between them.  She moans into Sameen’s mouth, breathing her scent deep into her lungs.  They break away gasping and before Root recovers Sameen’s walking away.  “Sameen wait!”  But Sameen ignores her, disappearing from sight.  Root goes back inside, searching for Hanna.

“You need to find Sameen.  She was headed for the parking lot,” Root implores her.  “Of course, are you okay though?  What happened?”

“Just find her please.  Text me and I’ll come meet you.  I’m just going to tell Jules I’m leaving.”

Hanna finds Sameen in the parking lot staring at the sky and texts Root.

 

Root finds Jules next to the drinks table.  “Hey, where’d you go?  I was worried.”  Root makes an attempt at a smile and takes the punch Jules hands her.  “Thanks.  Uh I’m not really feeling well; I think I’m going to call it a night.”

 

Twenty minutes later Root still hasn’t come to find Hanna and Sameen.  “Shaw I think we need to go look for Root.”  Sameen just shakes her head.  “No seriously Shaw, I think something’s wrong.  I texted her and she said she was coming right out and that was more than 20 minutes ago.”

Sameen guesses it shouldn’t surprise her Root sent Hanna after her.  “She’s probably just dancing Hanna.”

“No Shaw.  When she sent me to find you, she told me she was telling Jules she was leaving and then coming to meet us.”  A look of distaste sweeps over Sameen’s face at the mention of Jules.  “She probably changed her mind.”  But Hanna has a bad feeling.  “Fine.  I’m going to find her.”

Then Sameen remembers Root isn’t like other girls; she doesn’t change her mind on a whim and she was calling out for her to wait after… she rubs her hands over her face forcefully

//where are you?//

There’s no immediate response, which plants a small seed of worry in Sameen’s stomach.  Root never takes longer than a few seconds to respond to her texts.  She teased Root once, asking if her phone was perma glued to her hand.  Her answer was typical Root.  “When I’m not with you, yes.”

//I’m coming to find you//

Sameen makes it back to the gym and Root still hasn’t answered.  Hanna appears by her side.  “I can’t find her Shaw.  I checked the side entrance and she’s not out front.”

Sameen spots Jules talking to some of the track guys.  She stalks over and grabs her roughly by the forearm.  “Where’s Root,” her tone unmistakably menacing.  Jules yanks her arm out of her grip.  “What the fuck Shaw!  She told me she was leaving.”

“Did you see which way she went?”

“No.  What’s going on Shaw?  Is Root in trouble?”

“I don’t know.  She was supposed to meet Hanna outside half an hour ago, but she didn’t show.  She’s not answering her texts and we can’t find her.”  Jules expression immediately morphs from annoyance to concern.  “I’ll help you look.  Let’s split up.”

“Okay, I’ll take the faculty parking lot.  You take the cafeteria.  Hanna, check the locker room.”

Sameen hasn’t even made it to the parking lot when she gets a text from Hanna.

//She’s in trouble.  Meet me in the stairwell by the locker room.  Hurry!//

Sameen doesn’t take time to reply.  She hears voices as she approaches, male and female.  When she reaches the foot of the stairs she sees a group gathered on the first landing.  Root looks out of it and Hanna’s holding her hand.  “We’re leaving guys.”

“But the party’s just getting started,” one of the guys smirks.  Sameen climbs the stairs, stopping behind the one guy between her and the landing.  “My friends and I are leaving.”  Sameen’s voice drips with danger but the group is either too drunk or too stupid to care.  “Fuck off.”

Sameen grabs the guy on the steps and pulls him back so he stumbles down the stairs.  He cries out but she doesn’t bother to look.  “I said we’re leaving.  If I have to say it again, I will hurt you.”  She stares down the apparent leader of the group.  It seems like he’s going to disagree, but one of the girls pulls him back.  “Stop being a dick Tony.”  Then she looks at Sameen.

“Your friend’s pretty wasted.  She found us up here and we’ve just been hanging out.”

“What did she drink?”  Sameen demands.  “Nothing with us.”  Sameen looks around but Root’s not holding a cup and she doesn’t see any bottles so the girl may be telling the truth.  “If I find out any of you touched her, I will find you.”  Every single one of them believes her.

Sameen practically carries Root to the bleachers by the track field thinking fresh air might help.  Root’s incoherent, but Sameen doesn’t believe she could get this drunk so quickly; even for a lightweight.  She puts her down gently, cradling her with her arm around her back and examines her for injuries.  Her pupils are dilated but otherwise she seems fine.  Sameen knows alcohol does not cause your pupils to dilate, but so many other drugs do.

“Hey Root…it’s me.”

“Sammmm…”  But that’s all Sameen can get out of her.  Hanna looks at her worriedly.  “Should I call my mom?”

“I’m calling 911.  Go back inside and tell someone the punch may be spiked and about those idiots in the stairwell in case they had something to do with it.”  Hanna’s back before the ambulance arrives, out of breath from running.  “They turned up the lights and stopped the music and it was obvious several people were drugged Shaw.  There are more ambulances on the way and the cops.”

“Stand at the school entrance and make sure the first ambulance comes back here,” Sameen demands.  Hanna runs off again.

 

* * *

 

The paramedics hook Root up to oxygen and monitor her airway.  Without knowing what drug she was dosed with, there’s nothing else to do.  The only symptom is slightly depressed breathing and of course the fact she’s out of it. 

Sameen blames herself.  If she hadn’t been so stubborn Root would’ve been home with her with nothing more dangerous than the risk of eye strain.  She should’ve never encouraged Root to go with Jules to the dance or egged Jules on to ask her again.  She lied to Root and if something happens to her Sameen will never recover. 

“You can’t be back here.  You have to wait in the waiting room.”  Sameen’s heard it before, but she ignores them.  The doctor examining Root looks at her thoughtfully.  “She can stay,” she tells the staff and then gives Sameen a hard look.  “Stay out of the way.  Did you call her family?”  Sameen nods but can’t bring herself to speak, staring at Root like she can will her to recover.

Mah and Abbas are escorted to Root’s room where they find Sameen.  Root’s stabilized and Mah hugs Sameen while reaching for Root's hand.  “What happened Sameen?”

“Someone must have spiked the punch.  Other people were drugged too.”

“Are you sure you’re okay azizam?  We should have the doctors examine you too.”

“I never drank anything but bottled water, I’m fine.”

Mah shakes her head only slightly relieved.  “It’s a high school dance, how the hell did this happen?!”  It’s a rhetorical question, but Mah intends to get to the bottom of it.  If so many students were drugged it had to be in the pitchers as opposed to the individual drinks; otherwise someone likely would’ve noticed.  So who exactly is the school allowing to run these functions?

The doctor walks in and Abbas immediately asks for an update.  “We ran a tox screen and its ecstasy.  If I had to guess, I’d say in liquid form.   Otherwise the effect wouldn’t be so extreme or the onset so quick.  I have six other kids so far with the same symptoms, some much more severe.  Right now there’s nothing to do except monitor her breathing and wait.  It may take several hours for the drug to make its way through her system and for her to come around.  Barring any unforeseen complications, she’ll be fine.”

Mah and Abbas sit down to wait, but Sameen remains by Root’s bedside; holding her hand and not taking her eyes off her for a single minute.

Abbas comes back from the cafeteria with coffee for Mah and hands a chocolate bar to Sameen.  She takes it but just shoves it in her pocket.  It’s been almost three hours and Root’s still out of it.  At least there’re no complications so far; it’s just a waiting game.

When Root finally opens her eyes, she sees Sameen first.  She smiles weekly, “Sameen.”  Mah and Abbas immediately stand at Root’s bedside on the opposite side of Sameen; they know better than to try to make her move.  “Nāzi we’re so relieved you’re okay.  How do you feel?”

“Sluggish and tired and I have a headache.  What happened?”

“You were drugged,” Sameen explains quietly.  She tells Root what she knows about the incident.  “Are you okay Sameen?”  That Root's first thought is of Sameen just makes her feel like an even bigger heel.

“Yeah Root; I’m fine.  I never drank anything.”  Root lets out a little sigh of relief.  “Is Hanna okay too?” 

“Yes; she went home with her mom.  She wanted to stay, but we knew it could be a few hours so I told her I’d text her when you woke up.”  It reminds Sameen of her promise and she texts Hanna.  She types one-handed, not letting go of Root’s hand.  “She was the one who insisted we go look for you Root; I thought you were just…”  She doesn’t finish her sentence, not wanting to discuss the night’s events in front of her parents. 

“How long have I been here?”

“Almost five hours.” 

Mah asks for the nurse to page the doctor.  He arrives a few minutes later and examines Root.  Sameen doesn’t move aside for him either.  “You’re breathing’s back to normal so I’m going to discharge you.  You should rest and if the headache persists, take acetaminophen.  Come back to the emergency room immediately if you experience nausea, vomiting, dizziness or any other unusual symptom like confusion, hallucinations, loss of vision or your headache gets a lot worse.  It’s better to err on the side of caution.” 

He turns to Mah and Abbas who’ve been listening attentively.  “You should have her see her regular physician next week for a check-up.”  Mah’s way ahead of him; she’ll call Dr. Karev tomorrow to request a house call.

 

* * *

 

Root’s settled in her bed and finally convinces Mah she doesn’t need to stay.  Sameen’s been hanging in the background, not saying much but she can’t get herself to leave Root’s room.  When Mah leaves she sits on the end of the bed, looking anywhere but at Root. 

Root knows Sameen finds it easier to talk when she doesn’t have the added pressure of eye contact.

“I’m sorry Root.  This is completely my fault.”

“Why?  Did you spike the punch?” Root teases gently.

“Don’t…just…don’t.”

“I’m still angry with you for the same reasons I was angry before Sameen.  But I made my own decisions too.  The whole drugging thing is not our fault.”  Sameen doesn’t agree but doesn’t argue the point.

Root’s drifting off, trying to fight off Morpheus but losing the battle.  Sameen notices.  “You need to sleep.  Just call for me if you need anything.”

“So you’re leaving the door open?”  Root can’t resist the jibe; she’s still really angry and mostly hurt about the way Sameen treated her.

“Yeah, I promise.”

Sameen can’t fall asleep so she grabs her sketch pad.  She checks on Root a couple of times when she hears her moving around.  After the second time, she decides to sit on the floor by Root’s bed.  She thinks it may be kind of creepy, but she knows Root won’t think so. 

When Root wakes in the morning, she finds Sameen dozing against the wall.  Somehow she’s not really surprised.

They have a lot to talk about, but Root’s sure it won’t be easy.  Even Root’s not sure where to start or what it all means.  Why did Sameen kiss her?  Is she feeling possessive?  Or is it something deeper?  Where do they go from here?  If it's something more, do they tell Mah and Abbas?  How?  Will they still let Root live here?  Root knows the last question is born of deep-seeded insecurities she’s never shaken; intellectually she knows Mah and Abbas will never abandon her, but it doesn’t make the fear any less real.

She knows one thing for sure; she wants Sameen to kiss her again.  A lot.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so they shared their first kiss, but don't expect them to be girlfriends or have sex anytime soon. I don't want to set unrealistic expectations. The title comes from my best friend. She doesn't give people the cold shoulder; she exiles them to Siberia.


	48. Freeze Frame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sameen feels her life’s moving in freeze frame; a stuttering of significant moments captured in her mind enhanced by emotions she doesn’t know how to process. But with Root she feels safe and calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning this chapter is pure angst. If you're sensitive, you may not want to read it at work or in front of your kids...or anyone else for that matter because you'll probably cry. Yeah it's that bad. Don't hate me though. Teenage years are full of angst and for these two it's even more complicated.

Root takes a few minutes to relive the kiss in her mind; she’s glad her first was with Sameen.  Her lips are so soft and she tastes like cayenne and smells like gunpowder and lemon grass.  The feel of their bodies pressed together…well Root doesn’t have the words yet.

She feels cheated because she never got to bask in the afterglow; first Sameen walked off and then she was drugged.  But no matter what happens next she’ll always have that kiss and the knowledge Sameen kissed _her_.  Root’s not sure why, but it seems important.

“Sam,” she calls gently.  Sameen opens her eyes and stands, stretching sore muscles; sleeping sitting up against the wall did a number on her back.  “How’re you feeling?” 

“Okay, except I’m still really tired.”

“Well its Sunday so you can take the day to rest.”

Root sighs; a little frustrated she’s not back to herself yet.  “I don’t want to spend the day in bed.”

“Well, come down to the basement and set up on the couch.  You can code or watch tv or whatever.”

“That’s sounds good actually. Keep me company?”

“Sure,” Sameen answers easily.

 

* * *

 

Sameen heads to the kitchen to get some breakfast for her and Root.  Mah and Abbas are sitting at the kitchen table having coffee.  Their conversation cuts off when they see Sameen.  “Azizam, is Root awake?”

“Yeah.  We’re going to set up in the basement.  She’s still really tired.”

Mah goes to check on Root.  She won’t be satisfied Root’s okay until Dr. Karev examines her.

“Sameen, Lieutenant Fusco’s coming by this afternoon.”

Sameen scrunches her eyebrows.  “Why?  Isn’t he homicide?”

“One of the kids drugged last night didn’t make it; Uziel Singer.  Did you know him?”

“No.  There’s not much I can tell him anyway.  I didn’t see anything.”

“Well I’m sure he’ll want to talk to you and Root regardless.”  Sameen shrugs as she pops bread in the toaster. 

 

* * *

 

Sameen brings a tray down to the basement so she doesn’t have to make multiple trips.  Root’s on the couch snuggled into her comforter and texting on her phone.  Sameen drags a small end table by the couch and sets out toast, juice, and an apple for Root.  She sits on the floor next to the table to have her toast.  “Eat before your toast gets cold Root.”

“Thanks.  Hanna’s going to drop by this afternoon; she says she wants to see for herself I’m okay.”  Sameen nods reluctantly, but her back’s to Root so Root doesn’t notice her hesitation.  Sameen doesn’t exactly like Hanna; she doesn’t mind her either.  But she wants Root to herself today. 

She feels her life’s moving in freeze frame; a stuttering of significant moments captured in her mind enhanced by emotions she doesn’t know how to process.  But with Root she feels safe and calm. 

Also for the first time she’s the one wanting to talk.  She’s never treated Root as callously as she treated her last week.  She lashed out because she was overwhelmed and deliberately hurt her and she’s ashamed.  Root’s the one person in the world that puts her first above everything, including her own needs and desires and Sameen repaid it by grinding her feelings under her boot like they meant nothing.

“Why not just send her a picture?”  Root looks down at the back of Sameen’s head.  So Sameen doesn’t want to share her with Hanna today.  She’s about to give in because really it’s all the same to her and its second nature to give Sameen what she wants.  But then she remembers last week and how much Hanna tried to be a good friend to both of them and how Sameen didn’t hesitate to rip their connection to shreds and for what; to indulge a completely unnecessary tantrum because she didn’t trust Root to keep her feelings safe even though Root, without exception, always does. 

“No.”  She sees Sameen stiffen and waits for her to say something, but she doesn’t; surprise, surprise.

Root sighs internally.  She’s not trying to hurt Sameen intentionally but for the first time she feels like she’s the one that needs to protect her own feelings.  It’s not fair for Sameen to have treated her so cruelly and then expect everything to be okay; kiss or no kiss.

It occurs to Root maybe Sameen posted something on their blog, so she logs in to check.  There’s an entry from yesterday.

_Sameen: Saturday 6:12pm_

_Don’t go…please._

Root feels her heart clench.  It doesn’t change how angry and hurt she feels; after all, Sameen didn’t post the message until after she’d crushed Root’s world, but at least it shows she’s somewhat in touch with her feelings.  But if Sameen wants to repair the damage she’s going to have to reach out; Root just can’t.  Right now she can’t take anymore rejection or pain.  Her faith has been shaken badly.  She’s always thought she knows what Sameen’s feeling or thinking even when Sameen’s not sure herself, but she’s not so sure anymore.

When they’re finished eating Sameen takes their plates upstairs.  It’s something she wouldn’t usually bother with and Root assumes she’s fleeing any kind of discussion.  But she comes back immediately and this time sits on the end of the couch facing Root.  She lifts Root’s feet so they’re laying on her crossed legs.

“Root, I know I’m sorry isn’t enough but I am.  I know what I did and how much it hurt you.  I promise I’ll never treat you like that again.”

It’s more than Root expected to hear, but the pain doesn’t dissipate or lessen.  She looks at Sameen thoughtfully and thinks about what she wants to say.  “The way you treated me hurt almost as much as anything else I’ve ever been through.  But that you did it deliberately changed everything.  I’ve always trusted you to protect me.  Right now I don’t and I don’t know if I ever will again; at least not like before. 

You didn’t just say something insensitive Sameen.  Even though I reached out repeatedly, you continuously chose actions and words to hurt me.  I didn’t do anything to deserve it.  Jules asked me out.  I told you the way I tell you everything and you punished me for it.  You can’t change what you did and neither can I; we’ll both have to live with the consequences.

I know things lately have been complicated for both of us.  I’m confused and scared too and now I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.  I don’t know how to fix it.  I don’t know how to be _us_ again; this is one thing I can’t do for both of us.  There’s one thing I’ve realized you were right about…we do need some space.  We both need to figure out what we feel and what we want and in the wake of all the turmoil isn’t the best time to make decisions.  We need time to put things in perspective.  Or at least I do.  Its painfully obvious I can’t speak for you.”

Sameen wanted to walk out after Root’s fourth sentence, to be angry.  Angry she knows how to do.  But she forced herself to stay and really listen to Root.  Right now the only things she can offer are excuses for her behavior.  Root deserves more, but Sameen doesn’t know how to define the _more_.  She stands slowly, laying Root’s legs back on the couch softly.

She’s still holding Root’s gaze because right now it’s all she can give her.  “I’m not running from you or everything you’ve said.  I’m going to try and process it.  I’ve always had you to help me, but I know I have to do this on my own.  Right now I’m crawling out of my skin and I need to move.  I’m going to take a bike ride.  Anything I can get you before I go?”  Root just nods no with a sad smile.

Sameen’s not the only one who needs to process.  Root hadn’t really confronted everything she was feeling until she explained it to Sameen.  She was mostly caught up in the euphoria of the kiss and how tired she still felt from the drugging.  Although Sameen’s response did more than she probably realizes; it gave Root hope.

 

 


	49. Identities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment Root looked into the eyes of the sullen little girl sitting alone in the back of the room, she’d known she’d never be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: If you are a supporter of the president you may want to skip this chapter unless you have a very thick skin. I've never failed to approve a comment on any of my works, positive or negative, but I don't want to read a defense of this presidency or the man occupying the office. I will delete any comments that attempt to do so. Yes, maybe it's narrow-minded or discriminatory (to t*ump supporters) but my fic isn't going to become a platform for those views. 
> 
> Okay, on to the good stuff. This is another kind of short chapter but I thought we all needed a little consoling after all the angst. 
> 
> Thanks to MJ for turning me onto the Slo Mo Guys! You all should check them out on YouTube. It's funny and strangely soothing at the same time.

Space.  How ironic.  Just when Sameen comes to the realization she doesn’t need space from Root.  Anger courses through her veins and she pedals harder; it’s all directed inwards.  Well a small part is reserved for Jules, but Shaw’s the one that started them down the disastrous path to destruction of the only person that matters to her.  The question is what the fuck does she do now? 

Does Root mean they’re not going to hang out anymore?  Not team up on projects for science?  She’s not going to come to her track meets?  The range?  Bike rides?  How does Sameen fix her colossal mistake?  She can’t lose Root; not ever.  She’s not even thinking about the kiss.  She doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with it right now.  Bandwidth…almost makes her laugh.  Root’s nerdiness has rubbed off on her.

 

* * *

 

Root hears steps and glances back to see Hanna.  “Hi Root.”  Hanna takes the desk chair and looks at her worriedly.  “I’m okay Hanna.  Just still a little tired.”

“Thank god!  That was insane.  I hope they catch whoever did it.  The police are investigating.”  Root shrugs her shoulders.  “They’ll probably chalk it up to a prank eventually.”

“No Root.  Someone died.  Uziel Singer.”

“Shit.  I didn’t know him, did you?”

“Not really, but he was in my history class.  Seemed like a nice enough guy.  I think he was religious because he wore a yarmulke; I think only orthodox Jews wear it all the time.”  It’s not strange they didn’t know him.  School’s only been in session for a couple of weeks.

Root seems pensive.  “You know, when your president actively promotes discriminatory ideology and encourages an undercurrent of hate, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised people commit hate crimes.  After all, his administration’s adopting an unapologetic embrace of nativism, xenophobia and white nationalist ideology, as well as in-your-face racist demagoguery.  It’s legitimizing hatred and emboldening individuals to act out their despicable beliefs. 

“You think Uziel was the target?”  Hanna asks skeptically.

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised.  The president himself has bragged about sexual assaults, joked about attacking his opponents and protesters, and made racially prejudiced remark against practically every minority.  He excuses the majority of it by saying it’s a joke.  The umbrella symbol for white supremacist groups is now pepe, a loopy grinned cartoon frog; because you know…it’s a joke.” 

Root cuts herself off suddenly and grins sheepishly.  “Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now; I just don’t understand why people don’t see what he’s doing.  The rallying cry for this presidency is autocracy for the president and authoritarianism for his supporters…sorry; I’ve spent too much time watching the news lately. 

Anyway, I wanted to thank you.  Sameen told me you’re the reason I was found so quickly; if not for you it could’ve been a lot worse.  It could’ve been me on the slab.”  Hanna gives her a knowing look.  “Let’s just say I knew you wouldn’t keep her waiting.”  Root fails miserably at the smile she tries to give Hanna at the mention of her relationship with Sameen.  A compassionate look replaces Hanna’s smile.  “You want to talk about what’s going on between you and Shaw?”  Hanna catches Root’s troubled look as she turns away.  “It’s complicated,” is Root’s only reply. 

She knows Hanna’s trying to be a good friend, but they just met.  She’s never trusted anyone but Sameen and her parents and to a lesser extent Anwen.  Regardless of what’s happened she feels protective of Sameen.  What’s going on between them is private, something for just the two of them to work out together.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s been riding for almost an hour when she decides to turn back.  She doesn’t have any answers, but she’s calmer.  She does know one thing; Root won’t give up on her even after what Sameen did.  So at least she’ll have a chance to prove to Root she’s the friend she deserves; that she wants to be the best version of herself for Root.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s sweaty and stinky but she goes to check on Root before she jumps in the shower.  She’s sleeping on the couch and her laptop’s about to hit the floor.  Sameen removes it gently so as not to wake her.  She takes a minute to just look at Root.  So much of her identity’s wrapped up in Root.  She doesn’t know who she'd be if it weren’t for her; but she suspects someone closed off from the world, wrapped in anger and indifferent to humanity.  It’s not a pretty picture.  She does something she’s never done before; she places an almost imperceptible kiss on Root’s forehead.

When she gets out of the shower Mah tells her Fusco’s on his way over.  She gets dressed and heads for the basement to wake Root.  But Root’s already awake watching The Slomo Guys on YouTube; they’re using a compressed air cannon to shoot a watermelon.  She pauses it.  “Hey…” she says softly almost shyly; which is _not_ Root at all.

“Hi,” Sameen responds with a relieved smile; at least Root’s still talking to her.  “Uh, Fusco’s on his way here to talk to us about last night.  Someone died…”  Root interrupts, nodding her head.  “I know; Hanna was here and she told me about it.”  Sameen’s mostly glad she missed her; she’s kind of embarrassed about last night and letting Hanna see her so out of sorts.

Sameen shrugs.  “It’s not like we can tell him much.”

Root agrees, but then it occurs to her they know something that might help.  “Well, unlike the other students, we may be able to narrow the timeline down.  We know it had to happen right after…” she trips over her words and blushes to a bright shade of red.  Sameen rolls her eyes and quirks her lips in a small smile.  Root finds it reassuring that in some ways they’re still them. 

“Yes Root.  After I kissed you.  Although let’s leave that part out; he doesn’t need to know what we were doing.”  Okay that’s new.  Root just stares at Sameen; shocked at her matter of fact tone and her apparent ease with the situation.  Surprisingly Root finds it’s not awkward. 

They hear steps and some huffing before Fusco comes into view.  “Sheesh!  Those steps are like at a 60° angle.”  Root and Sameen look at each other and try not to laugh.  “You could always just roll,” Sameen jokes, just not as quietly as she thought.  Root smacks her stomach and gives her a wide-eyed warning.  Luckily Fusco’s breathing too loud to hear.

They recount the events of the dance while Fusco takes notes.  “Okay, so you drank the punch sometime between 8:15-8:45pm.”  Root corrects him.  “At exactly 8:32pm.”  Fusco looks at her skeptically like there’s no way she could possibly remember the exact time.  Root isn’t about to tell him, or Sameen, she noted the exact time Sameen kissed her and that she glanced at her watch while talking briefly to Jules because she was anxious to go find said kisser.  “I glanced at my watch when I was saying goodbye to Jules.  She handed me a glass of the punch she’d gotten for herself.  The next thing I know I’m waking up in the hospital.”

Sameen has her own questions for Fusco.  “So who was serving the punch?”  Fusco’s about to answer; Sameen asked the question so casually.  “Oh no, I’m not telling you two anything!”  Root gives him her best smile.  “But we could help.  The kids at school will tell us things they’ll never tell you.”

“Nice try, but absolutely not.  The last time I let you ‘help’ you nearly got yourselves killed.  So I better not catch you snooping around or I’ll arrest you for interfering in a police investigation.”  He gives them his best intimidating look and again Root and Sameen fight hard not to laugh.  Fusco’s about as far from intimidating as it gets.

 

* * *

 

Of course, the first thing Root and Sameen do when Fusco’s gone is start planning their investigation.  They both admit they were too wrapped up in…well… _watching_ each other, to remember who was serving the punch.  “I’ll ask Jules tomorrow if she remembers who handed her the glass.”  To her credit Sameen doesn’t cringe at Root’s mention of her nemesis’ name, but she’d be happy if she never heard it from Root’s lips again.

“There were some guys from the track team there too,” Sameen remembers.  “I’ll see what they know.  I’m sure everybody will be talking about it tomorrow anyway.”  Root knows everything’s not okay between them, but she can’t help feeling relieved Sameen’s talking to her again.  It’s taken the edge off her anger.  The challenge will be differentiating between punishing Sameen for hurting her, which she does _not_ want to do, from taking the time and space to figure out whether she can ever trust her the way she used to…the way she so desperately wants to again.

 

* * *

 

Sleep’s tugging at Shaw as she lies on her bed trying to empty her mind enough to go to sleep.  But there’s one thing she wants to do first.

_Sameen: Sunday 10:30pm_

> _Nothing excuses what I've done.  I'm working on figuring out why I did it to make sure it never happens again.  Is it okay if I tell you about it here as I do?  
>  _

 

* * *

 

Root worked on Harold’s algorithms for a couple of hours; she’d been neglecting the project to focus on the game for the computer club.  But she knows it’s not her best work; she’s not really focused.  So many thoughts are running through her head.  Part of her, a big part, just wants to forgive Sameen and forget all of last week.  But the other part knows if they don’t work this out honestly now, they’ll never be the friends they were, much less anything more.  She reminds herself she’s going to need to be patient.  They’re not going to figure it out overnight.

When she washes up before going to bed she feels like something’s different, but she can’t put her finger on what.  Until she looks towards Sameen’s open door.  She can’t help the wide grin on her face.  Sameen’s door is not just open; it’s gone.  Sameen took the door off its hinges.  When Sameen makes up her mind it’s never half-measures; she’s all in. 

Root peaks into Sameen’s room; she’s sleeping, hugging her pillow.  Root shakes her head at the achingly familiar sight and sighs.  They’ll work it out.  It’s probably unhealthy, actually there’s no doubt, but Root’s not sure where she ends and Sameen begins.  The moment she looked into the eyes of the sullen little girl sitting alone in the back of the room, she’d known she’d never be the same.

_Root: Sunday 11:33pm_

> _Of course sweetie.  I'd like that very much.  Also, can you go back to packing our lunches together?  
>  _

 

 


	50. Ignorance Is Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root hopes she’s not giving Sameen mixed messages, but she doesn’t need the kind of space where they drift further apart. She’s going to do everything she can to keep her best friend. She’s not taking a ‘break’ from their friendship; far from it.

The next morning Root wakes to Sameen throwing a nerf ball at her head, which has been her usual way of waking Root for years; except of course for last week.  “You feel better?  If not, maybe you should stay home and rest.”

“I’m not missing the chance to hear all the gossip about the party Saturday!  But yeah I feel better.”  Sameen studies her for any signs she’s downplaying the aftereffects of the drug and frowns.  “But?”

“But yeah, I’m still a little tired _but_ don’t you dare tell maman; it’s not nearly as much as yesterday.  She’s making me go see the doc after school today anyway.”

“Okay, but if I see you get worse during the day, you’re coming home or I’m calling 911 at my discretion.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Root grumbles although she has no doubt Sameen would do it in a heartbeat.

 

* * *

 

Their first class is US history and they make it a point to get there early.  Root’s been friendly with Joss Carter and somehow she always knows what’s up.  “Hey Joss.”

“Root!  I’m glad to see you’re okay.  I heard you were one of the people dosed.”  There’s genuine concern on her face.  “Yeah, I was pretty out of it for most of the night and I’m still feeling a little tired,” Root shares.  “So what’ve you heard?”  Joss studies Root’s face before she answers.  “Only if you let me in on whatever you and Shaw are planning.  I heard about your summer adventure.”  Root’s surprised; she didn’t think anybody knew.  They’re minors so their names never appeared on the news or even the police reports.  “Only if you agree to follow Shaw’s lead,” she counters.  Carter smiles conspiratorially and Root waves Sameen over, who was poorly disguising her blatant eavesdropping.

“Okay, so we know Dylan Read and Tom Jones were two of the students working the drinks table and Dylan’s girlfriend was also hanging around but we don’t know her name yet.  The assistant principle was supposedly supervising them, but I heard she was out back getting busy with one of the chaperoning parents.”

Sameen’s impressed.  “Shit Carter, you really have your finger on the pulse.”

“Dylan’s in our lit class Sam.”  Sameen takes her word for it, but she wouldn’t know the guy if she tripped over him.  “Carter, you work on finding this Tom guy.”  Joss’ about to ask why, but she told Root she’d follow Shaw’s lead.  “Okay.”

“Besides me, and Uziel of course, do we know who else was dosed?”

Carter thinks for a moment.  “Okay for sure Neo Adebayo, Marc Singer, and Shahid.  I think Shahid’s in one of my classes but I don’t know his last name.  I heard Rima Karam too.”

“I don’t want to make assumptions, but isn’t it way too coincidental these names are readily associated with certain religions and ethnicity?”  Shaw points out.  “Well my name hardly falls into the list – Samantha Groves is about as bland as it gets.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t the one it was meant for Root,” Shaw reminds her.  “What’s her last name?”  Sameen doesn’t need to specify who she’s talking about.  “Aaronson.”

“Fits our pattern but whose last name are we talking about?”  Carter asks.  Sameen lets Root answer.  “Jules. She’s on the track team with Sameen.  I was…”

“Root was her date for the dance,” Sameen says blandly when it’s obvious Root’s struggling with the explanation.  Root catches her eye, but all she sees is Sameen’s usual impassive gaze.  Carter looks at Sameen hesitantly.  “Isn’t she the one who uh _misplaced_ your clothes?”

Root beats Shaw to the punch.  “How do you know about that,” she demands hotly.  “Jules bragged about it all last week.  It’s pretty common knowledge,” Carter adds without sugarcoating.  Sameen appreciates her frankness.  “That’s not important now Root.  Let’s see who’s here today and try to talk to them.  Maybe we’ll learn something new.  Also let’s see if we can find out who else was dosed.”  Nothing in Sameen’s voice indicates she’s at all fazed by Carter’s revelation.  But looking into her eyes now, Root sees anger mirroring her own.

 

* * *

 

Root and Sameen haven’t discussed Jules since Carter’s revelation.  Root knows Sameen will talk about it when she’s ready and it’s not something to push her on.  Hanna’s waiting at their table.  Sameen nods hello; Root just drops her bag and turns to walk away, but Sameen’s expecting it and grabs her hand.  “Don’t.”  Root looks at her fiercely for a moment, but then her eyes soften and she nods slightly to let Sameen know she can let go.

Root and Hanna are discussing the computer club; Daniel’s announcing the new members today.  Sameen’s googling recent hate crimes.  Root and Sameen are sitting across from Hanna, so they don’t see what Hanna sees.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.  Does she warn them?  Yes; it’ll be worse if they’re caught off guard.  “Incoming; Jules.” Hanna mutters.  Sameen stiffens and Root smiles in a way Hanna hopes is never directed at her.

Jules touches Root gently on the shoulder and Root glances back, feigning surprise; she stands casually.  “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay after Saturday.  You left and then were dosed…”

“I’m as healthy as pity for the conquered,” Root espouses.  Its apparent Jules has no clue how to interpret Root’s words.  Sameen’s flaunting a proud smile Jules can’t see and Hanna’s trying not to laugh at the look on Jules’ face.   “Okay…great.  Let’s go out Friday; have a do over.  There’s a special showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.” 

Hanna is now convinced Jules is either suicidal or dumb as a rock.  Did she really think they wouldn’t hear about her bragging?  Hanna even heard it this morning and it happened over a week ago.  Shaw’s kind of an unknown entity still with most people keeping a respectful distance, recognizing something…dangerous may not be the right word, but it’s intimidating.  Jules used it to make her prank notorious and impress the upperclassmen and at the same time make Sameen look like a fool. 

Hanna’s not sure what her play with Root might be; maybe she really does like her.  But you’d have to be a stalker-type to barely know a girl and go through all this to get revenge on someone who kept you from her for a 45 minute cafeteria lunch.

“I’d love to, what time?”  Even Jules seems shocked Root said yes.  “My brother can drive us to the 8pm show,” she stutters.  “Great pick me up at 7:30.”  Jules smiles, nodding yes enthusiastically.

Shaw seems nonplussed but Hanna has to ask.  “Root, what the hell?”  Root smiles enigmatically.  “Everyone deserves a second chance.”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  “Second chances are overrated.”

 

* * *

 

Sameen waits until she’s walking with Root to their next class.  “Root, I don’t want you getting in trouble to get back at her.”

“Come on Sam, we both know you’re not going to let her get away with it.  I have a plan that will be public and humiliating, exactly what she tried to do to you.  Trust me.”  Sameen shrugs.  “Okay.  But I have to be a part of it.  Otherwise everyone will say I’m a coward who lets other people fight my battles.”  Root’s smile can only be described as wicked.  “Absolutely.”  Its hot Sameen almost blurts out.  But that wouldn’t be fair; Root told her she needed space and Sameen’s going to give it to her.

 

* * *

 

//Carter texted me; no new information so far.//

//k//

//Remember I’m going to the computer club and then the doctor afterschool.  I’ll see you later sweetie.//

//text me after doc//

//Will do but I can tell your right now he’s going to say I’m fine. :p//

Root hopes she’s not giving Sameen mixed messages, but she doesn’t need the kind of space where they drift further apart.  She’s going to do everything she can to keep her best friend.  She’s not taking a ‘break’ from their friendship; far from it.  She’s not going to create artificial situations so she can do things without Sameen.  But when those real situations arise, she’ll be saying yes instead of dismissing them out of hand.

 

* * *

 

“I’m nervous Root.  I might not get into the club,” Hanna frets on the way to the meeting.  Root tried to hack the list but Daniel has some pretty sophisticated firewalls.  She’s confident she could penetrate them with enough time, but she’ll save it for something important.  She honestly doubts Hanna made the cut; she just doesn’t have the skills.

The sound of shifting feet beats a dissonant sound into the small meeting room.  Most of the aspiring hackers are standing against the wall, probably to enable them to make a quick exit to avoid embarrassment if they’re rejected.  Eyes are darting to the door like clockwork and the odor of stress sweat permeates the air.  Root hopes Daniel shows up soon before someone passes out from the anxiety.

“Sorry I’m late guys.  I’ll make it quick.  Only three people made the cut; Root, Jason, and Daizo.”  Hanna rushes out the door without looking at Root.  It’s probably for the best.  Root’s not exactly tactful and what could she say really? 

“So who are the other members?”  Jason asks curiously.  Daniel smiles uncomfortably.  “You’re looking at him.”  Root’s thrilled.  Too many people lead to inefficiency when it comes to hacking; everyone wanting to prove their code’s superior to anyone else’s.  “We’ll start meeting regularly next week to discuss the project and start on the preliminary code.”  They all indicate agreement, leaving Daniel their contact information on the way out.

 

* * *

 

When Root gets home Mah’s waiting for her.  Root’s never gotten over her distrust of doctors and medical professionals in general but Karev’s alright. 

“Okay Root, I’m going to draw blood to make sure there’s nothing lingering in your system.  I highly doubt there will be; ecstasy’s usually metabolized around 3-6 hours after the dose.”  Karev draws the blood himself to minimize Root’s discomfort with his medical staff.  “The side effects of an overdose usually dissipate within 24 hours, but they _can_ last up to a few weeks. 

Have you been feeling muscle tension, nausea, blurred vision, teeth clenching, or anything else out of the ordinary? Severe anxiety, depression, insomnia?”

“No, I’m just feeling unusually tired.”

“I’m not worried then.  But if it lasts more than another couple of days you need to come back and see me.  Just make sure to eat right and get plenty of sleep.  I expect you’ll shake off the residual effects in another couple of days.  You’re probably so affected due to your body weight.”

He shuts up at a glare from Root.  This has been a constant issue, but she’s kept to her side of the bargain for years.  She exercises, gets plenty of sleep, and Sameen makes sure she eats right.  She’s within normal range for her height and age, even if it’s brushing the lower limits.

“Do you have any questions?”  He directs the question to Mah and Root, but Mah had a lengthy conversation with him yesterday so there’s nothing else for now and Root’s already heard what she needs to know.  She hops off the examination table and exits stage left forthwith.

//I’m fine.  Karev says the tiredness is a normal side effect and it should go away within a couple of days.  He drew blood just to make sure nothing’s still in my system.  As usual he advises enough sleep and proper nutrition.//

//test results?//

//Two days.// 

Sameen asks every time when the test results are due back from the lab, even though the answer’s always the same.

//coming home?//

//Yes; we’re picking up ribs.  Do I get you the usual?//

//yes!//

Root smiles as Sameen’s abiding enthusiasm for anything edible. 

 


	51. The Oscar Goes To...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come on Ms. Streep, the red carpet awaits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I didn't realize we've passed the 50 chapter mark!
> 
> I'm keeping these chapters short because I want to move them along and make the jumps longer. We're definitely not going to visit everyday of an entire school year. The next few chapters will cover Root and Shaw's revenge, a bit more of their investigation, and probably Shaw's first track meet. Then we'll be moving faster.
> 
> Root's program is actually an age appropriate program and with Root's skills certainly doable. Learning to learn is a basic first step in the goal to creating an artificial intelligence.
> 
> Shaw's comments about training are also accurate.
> 
> Thank you all for the insights and encouragement. It really does help and I do listen. I've gotten a lot of great ideas from comments by my readers. So thanks!

“I got into the computer club.”  Sameen rolls her eyes.  “I thought that was a foregone conclusion.  You’ll be running it within the month.”  Sameen’s confidence in her gives Root a really good feeling.  “Maybe, but Hanna didn’t, so try to take it easy on her tomorrow.”

Sameen looks at her with a completely innocent ‘who me’ expression.  “Yes, you.”

“Hey, by my standards I’ve been really nice to her.”  Sameen raises her hands to ward off Root’s no doubt accurate response.  “I will, I promise.”

“So are you going to fill me in on your mad genius plan to get back at what’s her face?”  Root quirks her lips at Sameen’s refusal to say Jules’ name.  “Okay, so first I need to go to the herbalist shop tomorrow.”  Root spends the next half hour detailing her intricate machinations to get back at Jules.  Sameen’s impressed and deems it fair; it does to Jules what she attempted to do to Sameen and goes no further.  Well maybe a little further; but hey, it’s not revenge if it doesn’t top the offense.

 

* * *

 

 _Sameen: Monday 11:10 pm_

> _When I thought of you with J my vision blurred and I felt lightheaded.  I was unbalanced and then this bad feeling settled in my stomach.  It’s why I left before you finished telling me about it.  I’m working on figuring out why and what it means.  Thanks for not giving up on me.  
>  _

_Root: Monday 11:55pm_

> _Don’t be stupid.  I’ll never give up on you.  Maybe we could have a code word for when you feel overwhelmed.  So you don’t hurt me and I know you just need time to sort things out._

 

* * *

 

“Hey Carter, anything new?”

“Dylan’s girlfriend is Amanda Miller.  Apparently it’s an open secret she’s a white extremist.  Her brother murdered eight black people in a church during a prayer group.  Obviously it can’t be my black ass who talks to her.”  No one can deny Joss is beautiful with curves in all the right places and perceptive brown eyes; sepia toned skin highlights flawless cheekbones and a strong jaw. 

“Yeah, I see your point.  Root, you’ll have to talk to her.  I doubt my olive skin will inspire her to take me into her confidence either.”

“Your skin’s beautiful Sam.”  Root remarks with a dreamy and admittedly dorky smile.  Sameen rolls her eyes and sighs. 

“I don’t think she’s in any of our classes but maybe I can find her at lunch.  Bump into her maybe…I’ll think of something.”  Of that Sameen has absolutely no doubt.

 

* * *

 

//I’m going to watch track practice today.  It’ll reinforce the idea I like J and make her more receptive for our plan.//

//good idea; but don’t give her my smile…please//

//I’ve never given anyone else your smile sweetie.  (I’ve also never called anyone else sweetie, in case you’re wondering.) :p//

//you did at lunch that day//

//No.  It never reached my eyes.//

Sameen loves the way Root smiles at her.  Her whole face smiles, not just her lips, and her eyes dance like they share a secret.  Sameen never wants Root to smile at anyone else that way; something else to think about, she sighs.

//We’ll go to the herbalist together after you’re done with practice.//

//k//

 

* * *

 

As she walks out to the track, Root steels herself for the performance she’ll need to give for Jules. 

The second Jules spots Root sitting on the bleachers she makes a beeline for her.  Root’s coding and pretends not to see her headed her way.  “Hi Root,” Jules beams.  Root smiles like she’s really happy Jules noticed her.  “Hi; I thought I’d come watch practice today,” she says shyly while glancing away.  Clearly it makes Jules a little cocky.  “Oh, anyone in particular?”  She smirks.  ‘Yeah and you’re blocking my view,’ Root thinks but keeps to herself.  Root gives her a knowing smile and Jules interprets it the way Root intended; Root’s there for her.

To anyone else it would appear Sameen’s focused on stretching before practice, but she watches Root and Jules closely.  She’s decided there can’t be any touching.  If Jules tries she’ll be sure to time an inconvenient interruption. 

Root uses the time to work on Harold’s algorithms.  She estimates she'll have to invest roughly 150 hours into programming and then she’ll need to run the simulated games.  It'll take three computers each running one of the three algorithms, alpha-beta, hybrid, and learning.  Three thousand games ought to be enough to ensure experimental error is minimal.

Before she realizes it, practice is done and Jules’ once again appears at her side.  “So, what’d you think?”  Root didn’t pay any attention whatsoever to Jules’ performance.  The few minutes she spent watching were focused on Sameen, so she scrambles for something to say.  “Impressive.” 

“You haven’t seen anything yet.  I’m already the fastest person on the team; I'm sure I'll be the one to represent us at the district finals.”  Root makes a mental note to make sure Sameen starts running regularly.  “I can’t wait to watch you compete.”  

‘And get your ass handed to you by Sameen’ goes unsaid.

“So, you want to go get something to eat?”

“I’m sorry Jules, I need to get home.  I have to work on a project for my computer class.  Maybe next time?”  Her tone is hopeful while she rolls her eyes internally.  “Sure…good luck on your project.”

 

* * *

 

“That was quite the performance,” Sameen points out grumpily.  Root raises her eyebrows and smiles.  “Oh?”  Sameen knows when she’s being baited and she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “Come on Ms. Streep, the red carpet awaits.”  Root laughs melodically and Sameen can’t help but smile as they walk to their bikes.

Sameen’s working out while Root works on her programming.  “Oh, before I forget, I think you need to start a regular running regimen Sam.”

“I’m sorry; did I miss when you established your running coach credentials?  Maybe I overlooked the part where you received a B.S. in athletic training?”

“No sarcastic pants, but J’s planning to beat everyone’s time and represent the team at the district finals and we need to make sure you leave her in the dust.”

“Trust me Root; I could sleep from here to districts and still leave her coughing in a cloud of smoke.  She only thinks she’s faster because I always hold back during practice.  Running all out increases the risk of injury.  Our first meet is still three weeks away.  I started working on speed development during the summer.  Actual speed work for long distance runners shouldn’t start more than four weeks before a race.  I’ll start incorporating it this week.  But I’ll be doing it in the mornings _before_ school.”  Root responds with a wicked grin.

 

* * *

 

 _Sameen: Tuesday 8:30_

> _I’ve never needed or wanted any friends but you.  I’ve never had to share you before and it opens up the possibility we’ll grow apart.  I know it’s unfair and you’re not like me.  Code word: swamped._

 

 _Root: Tuesday 10:52_

> _I’ve never needed or wanted anyone but you.  I just don’t feel the need to deliberately push people away.  But no one could ever weaken our connection; we can only do it to ourselves._  


	52. 45 Minutes Too Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You losing your touch babe?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is the last short update for today. (I need to get some sleep tonight!)
> 
> Just FYI I tweaked the last line of the previous chapter and the scene where Root smiles at Jules to clarify it's not really Shaw's smile. (In chapter 47.)
> 
> Also if you guys have any suggestions about things Root and Shaw should discuss in the blog, let me know.

Root gets a text from Hanna as they’re on their way to lunch.

//warning; Jules is sitting at our table//

//thanks//

She stops in the middle of the hall and Sameen turns to look at her.  “J is sitting at our table.  What do you want to do?”

“Up to you.  We can eat outside if you want; but where you go, I go.”  The stubborn tilt of her jaw lets Root know it’s not up for discussion.  She wasn’t going to disagree anyway though.  “Well I was planning on tracking down Amanda, so I’m not going to be at the table the whole time.  Think you can refrain from maiming her while I’m gone?”

“You used to be fun…” Sameen huffs.  Root raises her eyebrows in question.  “If you insist.”  Root knows this is just playful banter.  Sameen’s not going to do anything to tip Jules off.  She can act like a well-adjusted member of society when it’s required.

 

* * *

 

“Hi Root, you mind if I sit with you guys?”

Considering she’s already sitting it’s a moot point but Root replies sweetly.  “Of course not.”  She applauds herself for stifling her gag reflex.  Jules really has no idea how far Root’s willing to go to protect Sameen.  “I’ll be back in a few minutes.  I just need to speak to a friend.”

When Root walks away Jules focuses on Sameen and Hanna.  Before she can say anything Hanna engages her in conversation.  “Jules I know you’re on the track team.  In what events are you competing?”  This leads to a ten minute monologue where Jules greatly exaggerates her prowess.  Sameen’s really starting to think Hanna’s not so bad.  It’s long enough that Root comes back before Sameen needs to interact with Jules.

Root sits between Sameen and Hanna since Sameen just happened to put their backpacks on the seat between her and Jules and Hanna subtly shifted hers to the seat between her and Jules when she realized what Shaw had done.  Oops.  Only seat left.

Jules frowns slightly when Root sit across the table, but seems to accept it’s not intentional since all the other seats are occupied.  She briefly considers asking Hanna to move her bag, but that would be too transparent a move and Jules thinks she’s too suave to be so obvious. 

“So Root, are you coming to track practice today,” she asks smugly.  Shaw would love to punch the smug look off, but she smiles blandly as she finishes her lunch.  “I wish I could…but I have a computer club meeting, so maybe tomorrow,” Root breathes softly.  Sameen’s going to have to talk to Root about laying it on too thick.  Absolutely no reason she should be using that tone of voice.  They kill the next few minutes and finally break away when the bell rings.

 

* * *

 

“Did you find Amanda?”

“Yes.  You know Shannon from our lit class?”

“Nope.  No clue.”  Root’s not surprised.  “It turns out she’s friends with Amanda.  So I stopped to ask Shannon about our assignment and one thing led to another and she introduced me to her.”  Sameen knows the ‘one thing led to another’ means Root amped up the charm, which few people can resist.  “So, did you learn anything?”

Root sighs exasperatedly.  “It’s not like you can introduce yourself to someone and then ask ‘so did your white supremacist boyfriend spike the punch’ Sam.”

“You losing your touch babe?”  They both sort of freeze because Sameen has never called Root babe.  But then she shrugs her shoulders giving Root an apologetic look and continues down the hallway.  Root’s not sure what she thinks, but she has to admit she felt a little thrill run up her spine.

 

* * *

 

 _Sameen: Wednesday 6:15pm_

> _Sorry about…today.  I was just trying to be funny and it popped out without me thinking about it.  Sometimes I feel suffocated when other people are around, so I get cranky and impatient.  It’s not about you; it’s about my distaste for most of humanity.  
>  _

_Root: Wednesday 10:15pm_

> _You’re not as misanthropic as you like to portray.  (Just think about it.)  But I feel like there’s too much noise sometimes too.  I just want people to leave me alone (never you) so I don’t feel compelled to interact.  You know I can be pretty tactless and outright rude when people annoy me.  So you’re not alone in your feelings.  I’m not sure what to say about the…other thing.  But it didn’t suck._

Root’s trying to skirt the line of not complicating things any further, but she’s not going to lie and she doesn’t want Sameen preoccupied thinking she’s saying the wrong things.  It has nothing to do with the chill raising the hair on the back of her neck when Sameen called her babe.   


	53. Prep Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Root why is there a reminder on my phone telling me it’s Thursday?”

Sameen’s always been a morning person, but she hasn’t taken a jog in the early morning in a long time.  She’d forgotten how the air feels almost heavy during this time of year, a fresh moist scent in the air.  She’s going to start her speed workouts today so she’s keeping it down to three miles.  There’s a flat stretch of road a couple of miles from the house perfect for working on her stride and fire up those fast-twitch muscles she’ll need to maximize her speed for the meet. 

 

She’s heading for the shower and takes a peak into Root’s room; of course she’s still sleeping the sleep of the dead.  Her head’s buried under her pillow, the blanket scrunched around her body; she looks like a burrito.  Sameen’s stomach rumbles right on cue demanding breakfast.

After a big breakfast she’s ready for the day.  She feels calm after her run, her mind clear.  Before she wakes up Root she fires up her computer to record her thoughts, before they’re beaten back by the noise of the day.

 

_Sameen: Thursday 7:30am_

> _Every time I thought about the ‘date’ during that week I felt betrayed; because you told me by our new tree.  Now it’s forever ‘that’ tree.  (We need a new one.)  I need a space for just the two of us.  I don’t exactly know why yet, I just know I need it._

 

“Root why is there a reminder on my phone telling me it’s Thursday?”

“Because, today we need to prep for our,” she looks around and then whispers into Sameen’s ear, “revenge plot.”  Sameen rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “Okay, Ms. Streep.”

 

* * *

 

“Hi Carter, any news?”

“Good morning to the two of you too,” she pointedly responds.  “I found Tom, but for the obvious reason Root’s going to have to talk to him; he’s in your computer class,” she nods at Root.  

“I think I’ll bring Hanna into our plot.  If I keep finding excuses to talk to every white supremacist in the building it might draw attention.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”  Sameen knows Hanna’s a bit naive and she doesn’t want her to end up on the wrong end of trouble.  “I’m sure she’s already talked to people about the dance; it’s all people are talking about.  Don’t worry I won’t drag her into our investigation.”  She looks knowingly at Sameen. 

“If you two are done arranging for protective custody for your friend, I have more interesting news.”  Root and Sameen look at her expectantly.  “The parent distracting the vice-principle the night of the dance is Dylan’s father.  It’s a family affair apparently.”

“Yeah, what are the chances the father of the guy serving the punch just happens to hook up with the vice-principle that night?”  Root points out.  “Zero to none.” 

But Shaw’s distracted, considering the implications of what they’ve learned.  “This is turning out to be an ever bigger deal than we thought.  Let’s try to talk to a few more people discretely, but then we’ll have to consider telling Fusco what we know.”

 

* * *

 

“We’re having a fight,” Root announces on their way to lunch.  Shaw actually looks a little panic stricken.  “No…uh…I thought…”  Root looks at her reassuringly, “Not a real one Sam.  But I need an excuse to sit with Shannon and Amanda.”  Sameen can’t help the relieved sigh escaping her mouth.  “Oh, okay.  But are you letting Hanna in on this scheme?”

“Well if I tell her, then we’ll be dragging her into our clandestine, might get us killed, investigation.”

Sameen’s scowl is instant.  “Don’t even joke about dying Root.  You very well could have and someone else did.”  Root looks properly chastised.  “You’re right Sam; I’m sorry.”

 

“I can’t believe you’d say that Sameen!”  Root exclaims rather loudly.  Sameen just gives her a deadly look, while Hanna looks on confused.  “I don’t want to be near you right now!”  Root storms off in another oscar worthy performance, her face scrunched in fury.

“What’s going on Shaw?” They had agreed to let Hanna think they really were fighting, but Sameen can’t do it.  Hanna doesn’t deserve lies.  “It’s not a real fight, so don’t worry; but I can’t tell you why we’re doing it.  You’ll just have to trust me.  It’s what friends do right?  Trust each other?”

Sameen’s surprised she actually means it.  Hanna is a friend.  They’re not best buddies or anything; they barely know each other.  But Sameen believes in action and Hanna has proven she deserves their friendship with everything she’s done since they met.

A big grin splits Hanna’s face and Sameen rolls her eyes, but she lets a small smile flourish.  “Sure Shaw.  But what do we do about Jules who just detoured from our table to follow Root?” she says pointing her chin in Jules direction.

“Fuck; every day I hate her more.  It’ll be too weird if I try to distract her; we haven’t exactly been buddy buddy at track practice.”  When Sameen looks back, Hanna’s already halfway across the cafeteria on an intercept course with Jules.  Sameen watches in fascination as she successfully reroutes Jules to her original table with the track team.  Hanna continuously engages Jules in conversation until she sees Root’s back.

“How’d you do it?” Shaw asks, noticeably impressed.  The bell rings before Hanna can answer.  “Shit Hanna you didn’t eat,” Sameen notices, very concerned, because missing lunch would be a very big deal for her.  “No big deal.  I’ll eat later, bye.”

 

* * *

 

“What was that all about?”  Root asks curiously.

“Jules was trying to follow you so Hanna distracted her.”

“Did you tell her?”

“No, but I didn’t lie either.  It didn’t seem right.”

“She’s growing on you Sameen!”

“Whatever.  Did you learn anything?”

“They actually apologized I got dosed.  Not in a ‘we didn’t mean to dose you’ way.  More of a ‘wow we’re so sorry it happened to you’ way.  I asked if they knew any of the other people that got dosed and they kind of smirked at each other and said there was no one worth knowing.”

 

* * *

 

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on?”  Hanna asks hopefully.  Root sighs looking at her earnest face.  “No, but I do promise to tell you once it’s over.  Is that good enough?”

Hanna shrugs disappointingly.  “I guess it’ll have to be.  So did Shaw mean it when she said we were friends or was she just trying to keep me from asking questions?”

“Hanna one thing you’ll learn about Sameen is she never says anything she doesn’t mean.  Believe me, sometimes you’re going to wish she would.  Do you know Tom?” Root segues.

“I don’t know anyone in school really, but I have talked to him.”

“Can you think of any reason you might talk to him now and maybe ask about the dance?  He was working the drink table.”  Hanna looks at Root thoughtfully and then walks over to Tom.

Hanna comes back to her seat when class starts.

 

//Did he say anything interesting about that night?//

//not to me.  but he was already talking about the dance to his friend.  speculating if the two students still in the hospital would live.  almost bragging.  maybe it’s nothing but he said “rest is in my locker, didn’t get to use it all”  could’ve been anything.//

//thanks Hanna//

//I’m not dumb Root.  you and Shaw are trying to figure out who’s responsible//

//talk after class?//  Hanna nods in agreement.

 

Root texts Sameen with the update. 

//Oh and Hanna pretty much called me out on what we’re doing.//

//tell her, but she stays out//

//Sure, because I have mind control powers.//  

//don’t you?  works on me//  Root laugh-groans.  She can picture the smirk on Sameen’s face.

 

“I can help Root,”  Hanna pleads.  “You can and you already did twice, first distracting Jules and then talking to Tom.  How did you distract Jules by the way?”  Hanna rolls her eyes, “by asking her about her favorite topic…herself.”

“Hanna Sameen and I seem to attract trouble.  We don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I already know what you’re doing.  There’s nothing stopping me from going around asking questions on my own.  Wouldn’t it be better if we worked together?”  Root squeezes her forehead and groans.  “I’ll talk to Sameen and we’ll do something together Saturday to discuss it.”  Hanna smiles in triumph and Root just rolls her eyes.

 

* * *

 

“Ugh Root.  You never said this stuff would smell so bad.  You better be finished before maman gets back or we’re going to have a hell of a time explaining what we’re doing.”

“It’s not like I’ve done this before.  It didn’t smell so bad in root form.”  Root giggles and Sameen rolls her eyes.  “Very funny.  _Not_.”

“It’d go faster if you stopped complaining and help.  Now pass me the glycerin.”  Sameen hands it over with a huff.

“I think you’ve watched too many Charmed episodes.”

 

* * *

 

“How exactly are you going to talk them into letting us into the theatre when nothing’s showing yet?”

“Social engineering, Sameen.  In this case not even particularly clever engineering.  It’s getting them to leave us alone in there that’s the problem.”

 

“Okay, I’ll never doubt your skills again.”  Root grins happily.  “Boys will do anything for a pretty girl if they think they can score.”  Sameen almost growls.  “That was _never_ going to happen.”  Root just smiles wider.

 

* * *

 

_Root: Thursday 9pm_

 

> _I do too.  But would you have felt the same if you stuck around long enough for me to tell you I turned her down?  I haven’t really cried since I was six.  But after what you said that night in your room, I cried for a long time._


	54. Karma's A Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root has a secret and it makes her need for revenge all the more potent.

It’s late and Sameen’s tired, but she wants to check the blog before she goes to sleep. 

Reading Root’s entry feels like an 18 wheeler slammed into her stomach.  She can’t breathe and goes a little numb.  She finally understands the total destruction she wrought with a few careless words.  She strained their connection and their bond and their friendship, but she also hurt Root deeply, the way only Sameen has the power to do. 

No one else can touch Root’s core; the little girl so afraid, with no one to protect her.  Except Sameen...from the moment they met; but not anymore.  She ripped that certainty, that inalienable truth, from both of them.  Worse, Sameen did it intentionally when Root had never given her a single reason to doubt.   

Sameen’s sure she must’ve cried as a child, but she can’t remember a single occasion.  Now she can’t stop the tears.  She cries silently, but it feels like she’ll never stop; not just for what she’d done, but for the reality it can never be undone. 

She’s not sure when she fell asleep but Sameen wakes groggily as the sun rises and the world just doesn’t look the same.  But she needs to get a grip and pull it together.  If Root sees the wound in Sameen’s eyes, she’ll try to comfort her and it’s unfair for Sameen to turn what she’d done into something Root feels she has to heal.

The bathroom mirror reflects her swollen and haggard eyes; she decides to take a shower so she doesn’t look like the wreck she feels like inside. 

 

The day passes like any other and Sameen can’t understand how everything can be the same and yet irrevocably changed.  She pushes the darkness down and locks it away where Root can’t find it.

 

* * *

 

Root’s getting ready for her ‘date’ with Jules as Sameen sprawls on her bed.  “Root maybe we should call the whole thing off.  Just forget about it.”

Root looks at her thoughtfully.  “You read the blog.”  Sameen doesn’t bother to deny it, if nothing else she’s never going to lie to Root again.  Root sits facing her on the bed, taking Sameen’s hand in hers.  “I’m not punishing you and I’m not letting you punish yourself.  Sam, you hurt me…and I think maybe now you’re realizing you hurt yourself too. 

But it doesn’t mean I’m letting someone else get away with hurting you.  We _had_ let it go.  Then she had to brag and lie about it.  I know you’ve heard the snickers and at some point you’re going to react.  You’ll have to keep proving yourself over and over so no one thinks they can fuck with you the way she did.  It’ll eat away at you.  I’m not letting her have that power.  We’re taking it back.  With or without you, I’m going.  So stop feeling sorry for yourself and knock off this pity party you’re throwing.”

 

* * *

 

Root’s out the door before Jules has a chance to get out of the car.  She doesn’t want another farce to play out in their living room.  “You look great Root.”  Root smiles coyly.  “Thanks.”

Once they’re gone, Sameen sneaks out the back door.  She’s walking to the theater to be there in time to watch Jules’ humiliation.  The sky’s clear and the moonlight casts a soft white glow on car windows, providing just enough light to reveal the houses beyond.

She thinks about everything Root said.  Indulging her self-pity is just another way to make herself the victim.  She needs to keep looking inward and try to understand her actions and look forward to make sure she never makes the same mistake again.  It’s all she can do.

 

* * *

 

Jules brother drops them off in front of the theater and Jules and Root approach the glassed in box-office and the bored cashier, more interested in his phone than helping customers.  They purchase their tickets, walking through the glass doors into the frigid air conditioning.  Jules’ makes straight for the concession stand, which fits perfectly with Root’s plan.  “Root, do you want something?”

“No thanks.  I’m good,” she replies ever so politely.  Root leads them through the dimly lit hallway to the front row of seats.  They sit towards the middle of the row and Jules digs into her snacks.  Root sits impatiently through the previews, brimming with anticipation.  The movie’s almost over when Jules starts to throw up violently.  Root jumps up just in time to avoid the spew.

Jules bare legs and clothes are covered with bits and pieces of the candy and popcorn she so recently ingested.  She’s heaving, but the worst seems to have passed.  “Come on Jules; let’s get you to the bathroom.”  It’s a small theater and no one else is inside, most people watching one of the two movies playing.  Jules stumbles into a stall. 

“Fuck, my brother will kill me if I get into his car dripping with vomit and stinking like three day old garbage.”  Root passes her wet paper towels.  “Here at least you can wipe yourself down a bit; are you feeling better?”

“I think so…fuck Root, this is disgusting.”

“Why don’t you pass me your blouse and skirt?  At least I can rinse them; better wet than drenched in vomit.”  This is the trickiest part of the plan.  If Jules shies away from taking her clothes off, Root will have to improvise.  But Jules doesn’t hesitate, fearing her brother more than being naked in a public restroom.  She opens the door a sliver and passes her clothes to Root.  Root realizes she’s not wearing a bra.  Well she’ll regret that decision soon.

She stuffs the clothes into a plastic bag she’d brought in her purse and turns on the faucet.  Root grabbed Jules’ phone when she jumped out of her seat and takes it with her on her way out of the bathroom.  She turns the “out of order” sign forward to prevent anyone else from entering and calmly walks out the door.

Shaw’s waiting for her outside.  “How long do you think it’ll take her before she realizes she has no choice but to come out?”  Root shrugs.  “If she were smart, she’d do it now before everyone empties into the lobby.  But my guess is it’ll take at least 20 minutes until she gives up on the idea I’ll come back.”  Meanwhile Root works on her phone and the video she just downloaded.

As it turns out Jules’ has the worst possible timing, fleeing the bathroom just as the theaters are emptying.  If she’d waited a couple of more minutes she could’ve called to someone from the cracked door.  She ends up trapped in the crowd.  The wild look in her eyes scares people who rush away from the mostly naked nasty smelling girl, who they can only assume is on drugs.  Security is called and it’s only then she’s taken to a private office. 

Root laughs; not as much as she thought she would, but still.  Sameen sees the look of pure satisfaction in Root’s eyes as she watches her scheme unfold.  There’s something else in Root’s eyes.  Something dangerous; something saying she’s never going to let anyone fuck with her or anyone she loves.

As they expected, Jules’ waits until the theater empties out before coming outside.  She called her brother but only got his voicemail.  His phone seems to have turned itself off.  She’s wearing a polo shirt with the theater's logo and sweatpants five sizes too large. 

Root and Sameen check to make sure no one’s around.  “Hey Jules, you applying for a part-time job?”  Shaw asks casually, leaning against the wall.  “I don’t know Sameen; those clothes look a little a little long on her.”  Root parrots Jules’ words from the fateful day.

Jules' face turns an unhealthy shade of red; so furious she can only stutter her threats.  “You two are going to regret this for the rest of your lives,” she hisses. 

“It’s kind of hard to take you seriously when you look like you’re dressed from the lost and found,” Root pouts.  “Catch!”  She throws Jules’ phone at her.  “Check your texts.”

Jules takes a step towards them but Shaw pushes off the wall and she reconsiders.  Jules’ face goes from beet red to blanch in an instant.  There’s a text from an unknown number with a video of the entire incident.  “I’ll tell them this was all you.  My brother knows he dropped us off.  People saw you…”

“Well see…about that…you texted your brother I left, but you were going to stay for the movie.  You’ll find I’m not on the theater's one video camera; it was offline due to a glitch.  The cashier might remember me, although I doubt he even looked at our faces, but I’m not denying I was here anyway.  All anyone else will remember about tonight is your scrawny ass streaking through the lobby.”

Shaw looks at Jules almost compassionately.  “Let me ask you something Jules.  If I’d had no choice but to come out of the locker room naked, what were you going to do?”

“Nothing Shaw, I swear.”

Shaw shakes her head apologetically.  “See if you told me the truth just now, I might’ve been able to convince Root not to upload the video to the school’s intranet.  I saw the pictures on your phone; me stepping into the shower, my clothes disappearing, and then coming out of the locker room.  I guess you didn’t see Root go inside and snapped a shot before you ducked around the corner where we found you.”

Root makes sure Sameen’s done speaking.  “Tell me Jules, why did you ask me out?”  As Jules starts to speak, Root raises her eyebrows… “Ah, ah, ah, think very carefully before you lie Jules.” 

Sameen looks at Root, not sure where she’s going.

Jules just looks down, completely defeated. 

So Root lists her crimes as she sees them.  “You bragged to everyone about the stunt, lying about Shaw coming out naked.  Then you mocked us in emails to your friends.  You hated your prank failed spectacularly and you wanted payback.  So you asked me out planning to dump me publicly and embarrassingly a couple of weeks later.”  Root taps her shin like she’s trying to remember.  “Why was it…oh, I remember.  I’m easy, but a lousy fuck.”

Root never told Sameen everything she’d found on Jules’ phone and email accounts and she looks like she’s regretting taunting Jules’ with it now.  Sameen understands now why Root insisted on revenge.  “Joke was on you all along though.  I only went out with you because I was mad at Sameen.  I even felt a little bad about leading you on; but in the end karma’s a bitch Jules.”

Sameen blames no one but herself for how she acted and the things she said.  But it all started with Jules asking Root out as part of another juvenile prank.  They’d lost so much over…absolutely nothing; Jules’ stupid pranks, her bruised ego, and immature mind.

“Send it.”  Root hits a key and it’s done.

 

* * *

 

“Why didn’t you tell me all of it before Root?”

Root sighs.  “I knew you’d beat the shit out of her.  You’d have ended up suspended and maybe arrested and it would’ve made everything worse.  I also knew it would wound you and I wanted to spare you the knowledge.  But I got carried away with my own anger and I had to let her know I knew.  I’m sorry.”

Sameen stops walking, tugging Root to face her.  “You never have to apologize to me.”  Root smiles softly and cradles Sameen’s cheek gently.  “No Sameen.  There’s no price to pay.  No sentence to serve.  I will never give up on you.”


	55. Root Rethink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve only every thrived behind a keyboard and by your side.

“So what exactly was that concoction we brewed?”

“Ipecac syrup.  Decades ago it was used to induce vomiting after swallowing poison; it works pretty much instantly.  They don’t sell it anymore and I didn’t have time to order it online.”

“So what did we buy at the herbalist’s?”

“Carapichea ipecacuanha root; the emetic properties derive from the plant.  It’s native to Brazil and the name in Portuguese literally means road-side sick-making plant.”

“Should we worry about getting the cameras out of the theater?”

“They’re too tiny to be noticed and can’t be traced to us.  It’s riskier to go back for them.”

“You know you could’ve just doxxed her online.  It would’ve been child’s play for you and less risky and convoluted.”

“But not nearly as satisfying, since we would’ve never been able to see her reaction.  Besides, I made sure the video can’t be downloaded, the link can’t be forwarded, and it will disappear on Monday at midnight from the intranet; if someone wants to post it on the internet, they’ll have to film it from the screen.  I’m not a complete monster.”  But Root looks concerned.  “Do you feel guilty or bad for her?”

Sameen scoffs.  “Root, you’re the only one that inspires anything close to those types of feelings in me.  I just would’ve rather beat the shit out of her; more immediately gratifying.”

 

* * *

 

_Sameen: Saturday 6am_

> _My anger was fueled partly by insecurity.  High school seems more social by nature; parties, clubs, social events.  I’m not comfortable in those settings and I’ve never cared about being excluded or excluding myself.  But you thrive in them and I’m not sure where that’s going to leave us._       

 

“Hanna and I are going to the movies later, so what should I tell her?”  If Sameen’s surprised Root didn’t invite her she doesn’t show it.  “She already figured it out and it’s safer for her if we include her and not have her go around talking to people haphazardly.”  Root smiles at Sameen’s protectiveness; she really isn’t as bad ‘at people’ as she thinks.  “Okay.”

“We’re going to get burgers after the movie; do you want to meet us?”  Sameen most definitely does, but she recognizes Root will have trouble taking the space she needs if they continue to spend all their time together.  “No thanks, I have to catch up on the stupid Canterbury Tales for lit.”  Root’s not sure how she feels about Sameen turning her down, but Root did say she needs space.  “Okay sweetie, I’ll see you later then.”

Hanna picked a movie called Mubarakan, a bollywood romantic comedy about twin brothers who ask their uncle for help to make sure that they each marry the woman they love.  When it’s over Root’s first thought is ‘Sameen would’ve hated this movie.’  Her second thought is ‘I wish she were here.’

“So what’d you think Root?”

“I think Arjun Kapoor is no Tatiana Maslany and I would’ve rather spent the time painting my nails,” Root only partly jokes.  She definitely would’ve rather been with Sameen.  “Oh come on it wasn’t that bad.  The music was pretty cool.”

“Hanna we’re just going to have to agree to disagree.  Come on I’m hungry.”

 

* * *

  

The cushioned booth lets out a whoosh of air as Root drops into it.  She peruses the sticky laminated menu, finally settling on a grilled cheese and milk and making a note to get a burger and fries to go for Sameen.

“You’re getting a grilled cheese…and milk?”  Hanna can’t seem to wrap her head around Root’s order.  Sameen would’ve been able to order _for_ her.  She knows all these comparisons aren’t fair; Hanna can’t possibly be expected to know a lifetime of Root’s choices and preferences, but fair or not it grates on her nerves Hanna’s making a big deal about her food choices.  It’s something Root’s always been sensitive about. 

“Should I point out your burger is 20% saturated fat, likely over 1,000 calories, and full of hormones and additives?  Let’s not even talk about the bun and cheese; or the ketchup full of high fructose corn syrup.”  Hanna realizes she’s hit a nerve.  “Sorry Root, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”  Root sighs.  “Sorry I sounded snarky.  Let’s just say I don’t have the best relationship with food.”

“Is that why Shaw packs your lunches and orders for you at the food court?”  Hanna asks curiously.

“Yeah; she’s been doing it since we were kids.  They wanted me to take appetite enhancers and vitamins and I refused.  She helps me remember to eat and makes sure I eat mostly nutritious stuff; but really Hanna, let’s talk about something else.  This isn’t a subject I like to dwell on.”

“Okay.  Did you talk to Shaw about letting me help you guys find out who spiked the punch?”

Root admires Hanna’s tenacity and huff-laughs.  “Yeah.  We’re just trying to figure out who did it.  Looking at the names of the people dosed, it appears they’re all part of some minority group.  The guys who worked the drinks table are all skin heads.  One of their fathers distracted the assistant principle who was supposed to be supervising the drinks table.”

“That can’t be a coincidence.”

“That’s what we think, but it’s not proof.  Do you know Joss?”

“Carter?  She’s in my English class; she’s wicked smart and super nice.”

“She’s helping us figure out exactly who was involved; she should seriously be a detective.  But Hanna, don’t go snooping around.  If we’re right, these people are no joke.  We’ll talk about it more on Monday after we see if Joss has learned anything else.”

 

* * *

  

Root finds Sameen in the basement with her textbook lying on her stomach as she sleeps.  She leans over the end of the couch and uses her hair to tickle Sameen’s face.  Sameen stirs but doesn’t wake until Root does it again.  She opens her eyes and realizes what woke her.  “You better have food in your other hand or you’re going to be in serious trouble for waking me,” she threatens.

Root’s not in the least bit intimated and walks around the couch to plop at Shaw’s feet as she drops the bag in her lap.  “Of course sweetie; burger, fries, and milkshake.” 

“You know me so well,” Sameen grins as she wastes no time tearing into the bag.  “Sss hau ws mofvi?” she asks with a mouth full of food.  “Painful.”

Root thinks her whole night was painful.  She missed Sameen and detested the small talk Hanna used to fill more than two seconds of silence.  She still likes Hanna a lot, but not enough to spend an evening alone with her.

Maybe she’s needlessly complicating her life.  Sameen hurt her and it made her question everything about their friendship.  But there’s no doubt in her its true of all friendships.  People hurt each other all the time.  If it weren’t for what Sameen said to her that night in her room, Root would’ve been irritated but not nearly so upset. 

Sameen lashed out because she was hurting and didn’t know how to handle it.  Her inability to process or understand her emotions is a part of her.  She didn’t choose it.  Root’s always made allowances for it the same way Sameen makes allowances for her.  Root’s often clingy and touchy feely and even though Sameen can’t relate she doesn’t run and gives Root what she needs. 

Sameen saved her life.  If not for her insisting Mah find Root the day she missed school, who knows if Root would be alive.  Yes, the hospital years were rough and lonely, but no one was abusing her.  The only reason Mah and Abbas care is because Sameen cared first.  She stepped outside her comfort zone the day they met and kept doing it; to keep Root safe, to make her laugh, to make her feel loved.  She doesn’t deserve for Root to take this one event and allow it to mar everything they’ve ever been to each other.

 

_Root: Saturday 11pm_

> _You’re wrong Sameen.  I’ve only every thrived behind a keyboard and by your side.  I like manipulating people; for a long time it’s the only way I could get my basic needs met.  But I don’t need to do it anymore (except for fun).  So it leaves us where we’ve always been…together._      


	56. A Blast From The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls have an emotionally taxing Sunday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: WONDER WOMAN SPOILER  
> A brief discussion of the movie takes place between Root and Sameen. It starts at the double lines and ends at the next double lines. You can skip it without missing any plot. You can just make note they went to the movies.

“Maman and bâbâ left for brunch with Anwen and then they’re going to the new exhibit at the MOMA.  They won’t be back until late, so we’re on our own,” Root informs Sameen as she drops onto the couch.

Sameen’s doing stress ball squeezes as she rolls around the basement on the desk chair.  “Do you want to do something?...unless you have other plans that’s cool too.”  Sameen’s quick to point out.

Root looks at her and feels the same tug she’s felt since they were five years old.  “Sam, can you come here a second?”  Sameen rolls to a stop in front of her.  Root takes the stress ball and tosses it on the couch, holding Sameen’s hands softly.  “I want to say something but if you feel it’s too much, just remember to tell me okay?”  Sameen’s heartbeat accelerates and she wonders what’s going to happen next.  Root doesn’t seem upset, so hopefully it’s not something to push Sameen further away. 

Sameen nods slowly, making an effort to maintain eye contact.

“I was wrong.  You made a mistake and I’m still hurt, but it was wrong to use that one mistake to question our friendship.  Our connection is too strong to snap so easily.  I don’t have all the answers, but I don’t need space…I just need you.”

Sameen releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding and sighs.  She looks at their entwined hands, then back up at Root’s face and the hazing richness of her eyes and her curved lips.  They stare into each other, slowly leaning closer.  The kiss starts in their eyes and when their lips finally meet, a dam bursts, and they sink deeper.

Root feels her lips firm against Sameen’s, but the kiss remains soft, gentle, slow.   They hold it for a few seconds, before their lips move in tandem, slowly, cautiously.  Sameen’s body’s taken over by an overwhelming feeling of relief, combined with panic and desire.  She caresses Root’s cheek, running her hand to the back of her head, her fingers tangling in her long, wavy hair, pulling Root into her, adding more pressure, wanting to dive deeper.

Root moans and they draw apart for a moment, just to take a breath, but then Root’s pulling Sameen until the chair slips out from under and she’s straddling Root’s lap instead.  She wraps her arms around Sameen’s waist encouraging her closer until she’s kneeling on either side of Root on the couch.  Sameen’s eyes are closed but instead of darkness behind her eyelids they’re colors of Root.

Root’s insistent mouth parts Sameen’s lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves; inflicting sensations she’d never known she was capable of feeling.  She nibbles at Sameen’s lower lip, then glides her tongue past and along the roof of her mouth, tasting, teasing…they pull apart reluctantly, chests heaving, and Root feels the kiss lingering, continuing in the air they’re sharing.

Root’s waiting for Sameen to stand and put distance between them or use their code word; instead she hears a small laugh.  “If I’d known what I was missing, I wouldn’t have run off the first time.”

Root slaps her thigh playfully and leans back to study her face.  “I’m hoping you’ve learned your lesson.”  Sameen falls over from Root’s lap onto the couch.  It’s not awkward and neither one feels the need to dissect what it all means.  Sameen feels like the tension she’s been carrying around for weeks finally receded.

Her stomach rumbles and they look at each other and crack up. 

 

* * *

 

They spend the rest of the day like hundreds of other weekend days.  They ride to the range, stop for lunch at the sub place, then catch an early movie.  Sameen picked so of course they go to see Wonder Woman. 

 

* * *

* * *

 

“She’s bad ass,” Sameen enthuses.  Root laughs at Sameen’s succinct review.  “I agree; it’s inspiring, blistering, and compassionate.   I just don’t understand why she needed a boyfriend at all.  Yes, I know Steve’s enmeshed deep in the mythology of the universe, but it’s like she only comes into the full breadth of her power at his admission of love; ‘love conquers all’ and suddenly I’m all powerful.

They spend so much time on their dynamic they give short shrift to so many other interesting themes; her complex relationship with her mother; her bemused confusion over the bumbling Etta Candy; her compassion for shell-shocked Charlie; her empathy for Chief; her love of everyday human things; her admiration for her aunt…”

 

* * *

* * *

 

Shaw rolls her eyes and scowls, “Must you always over think everything?”

 

* * *

 

They’re walking the path to the front door when Root stops short and Sameen runs into her.  “Root…”  She sees Root blanch and sway a little so she braces her with her chest on her back, her hands holding her shoulders.  “What…”  Root’s staring at the front porch and Sameen follows her gaze.  There’s a woman Sameen doesn’t recognize on the front porch.  But then she notices her clear brown eyes and angular chin.  Sameen never met Root’s mother but she has no doubt it’s her.

She glares at the woman and steps in front of Root, turning to focus on her.  “Root, hey, look at me.  It’s okay.”  Root regains her color slowly and looks at her helplessly.  “Do you want me to get rid of her?”  But Root doesn’t answer and it’s clear she’s not thinking straight, certainly not enough to know what she wants.  “Come on, let’s go around the back and then I’ll talk to her.  I’ll get her number and you can think about what you want whenever you’re ready.  Okay?”  Root looks at Sameen trustingly and follows her without looking at her mother again.

Groves steps forward and looks like she’s about to say something, but Sameen’s deadly stare makes her reconsider.  Sameen goes inside with Root and gets her a glass of water.  Root sits at the kitchen table staring vacantly out the window.  “I’ll be right back,” Sameen promises.

She opens the front door startling Groves.  “You need to leave; now,” Sameen growls.  Groves seems to gather herself.  “I would like to see my daughter.”

“She’s not your daughter anymore,” Sameen hisses.  “Now get off our property before I call the cops.”  Sameen’s body coils like a tight wire and she has to make a conscious effort not to shove Groves bodily off the porch.  She couldn’t protect Root when she was five, but she certainly can now and the temptation to inflict pain on the woman who so cruelly abused her friend blazes into a hot rage inside her.  Evidently Groves came prepared for rejection because she hands Sameen an envelope without another word.  Sameen watches her until she’s sure she’s gone.

//maman Root’s mother came to the house  come home, bring Anwen//

It only takes a minute for a reply. 

//We’re on our way.//

Sameen returns to the kitchen and finds Root exactly where she left her.  She shoves the envelope Groves left in her pocket.  “Root, she’s gone.  Maman and bâbâ and Anwen are on their way back.”  Root nods absently.  Sameen drags a chair to sit in front of her.  She touches Root’s hand and realizes she’s freezing.  “Hey Root.  She can’t hurt you anymore.  I won’t let her,” Sameen promises vehemently. 

Root finally focuses on Sameen.  “What do you think she wants?”

“I don’t know Root, but it doesn’t matter.  You’re in control now.  All that matters is what you want and you don’t have to decide right now.  But whatever it is I’ll be with you every step of the way.”  It must be the right thing to say because Root takes a deep breath and relaxes her shoulders.

Sameen makes them hot chocolate and they go down to the basement to watch tv; Root just wants a distraction.  The emotions of the day overtake her and she falls asleep with her head on Sameen’s shoulder.  Sameen lays her gently on the couch and covers her with a quilt.  She sits on the floor to wait; she doesn’t want Root to wake up alone.

She goes upstairs when she hears the front door.

 

* * *

 

“Sameen, where’s Root?” Mah asks worriedly.  “She fell asleep downstairs.  We came home and found Groves on the porch.  Root almost passed out.  She’s only said one sentence since.  Oh, and Groves gave me this envelope for Root,” Sameen remembers; she shoves the envelope into Mah’s hand like its on fire.  Now that she’s not alone Sameen lets her anger surface.  “We can’t let her hurt Root again!”

Anwen sighs heavily.  “I think it’s too late for that Sameen.  Not that I’d expect her to have changed, but Root’s mother approached this in her typical narcissistic fashion with no concern for Root’s feelings or well-being.”

“She’s not her mother!”  Sameen rants.  Mah puts a gentle hand on Sameen’s back.  “Azizam, you need to calm down; we need to focus on Root.”  Sameen nods begrudgingly.  Its true this isn’t about how any of them feel.

“Root needs a little time to just absorb what happened,” Anwen decides.  “I know she’ll turn to you Sameen.  Don’t push her to talk, just follow her lead.  Let’s not give her the letter just yet.  Who knows what Groves wrote; we don’t want Root traumatized any further.  I’ll check in tomorrow and see if Root would like to talk with me.”

Sameen’s an expert at silence and Root and her never feel the need to fill the quiet when they’re together.  Her eyes drift to the envelope on the kitchen counter.  She’s not letting Root read it until she knows what it says.  Everyone can get mad at her later.  Better to ask forgiveness than permission.  She slips it back into her pocket when no one’s looking.

Abbas has been quietly listening and thinking.  Groves has no legal rights and Root doesn’t owe her anything.  If Root decides not to see her they can get a restraining order.  But even that’s not a perfect solution; it’ll just be a different sort of trauma.  He decides to let it play out a little and then see what they need to do to protect Root; whatever it takes.

 

* * *

 

“Sam,” Root wakes groggily.

“Hey, I’m here.”  Sameen’s been sitting on the floor watching the almost muted television while Root slept on the couch. 

“Why are you on the floor?”

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

Root scoots up and pats the cushion next to her.  Sameen settles in close but not touching, waiting to see what Root needs from her.

“It wasn’t a nightmare, was it?”  Root asks in a small voice.

“No.” Sameen answers simply.

“What should I do?”

“I don’t know Root, but I think maybe Anwen can help you figure it out.”

“Will you…”

“Of course.”

 

* * *

  

After Root’s asleep for the night, Sameen opens the envelope and reads the letter from Groves.

  

> _I am sorry if you feel I failed you and fell short and I could not live up to whatever expectations you placed on me.  I am sorry if you suffered from my illness, but it wasn’t my fault; I was sick.  You were also not the easiest child, but I did my best.  I think it’s time to put the past behind us and be the mother and daughter we would’ve been if you hadn’t been taken from me.  
>  _

 

Sameen slips the letter back into the envelope and spends a long time thinking.

 

 _Sameen: Sunday 11pm_

> _You’re the strongest and bravest person I know; nothing will ever defeat you.  You’re not alone either.  We’re in this…together, like always._    


	57. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root and Sameen deal with the video, the investigation, and Root's reaction to the return of her mother.

Sameen picks up a pillow from Root’s floor and throws it at her head.  “Sameeeennnn,” Root moans pitifully.  “Come on we have places to be and people to ruin.”  Root pokes her head out from under her blanket and glances at her clock.  “You better have a good reason for waking me up at 6am Sam,” she grumps before pulling a groundhog.

“Today’s Monday.”

Root moans from under the blanket.  “Seriously Sameen?!  That’s your reason?!”

“Okay, if you don’t want to implement the last phase of our revenge, go back to sleep.”  Sameen shrugs nonchalantly and rolls her eyes.  It takes a minute for Root to remember.  She more or less pops out of bed and by pop Sameen means slowly crawls out from under the covers.  Root’s smiling wickedly.  “Give me 10 minutes.”

 

* * *

 

“Hurry up Sam!  Someone could come by at any minute.”

“Rushing me isn’t going to get the lock picked any faster.  It’s a deadbolt not a pop-lock.”  Not to mention it’s been exactly 30 seconds since Sameen started.  “I thought you were supposed to be faster than me.”

“I am,” Sameen responds smugly as she opens the door.  “Now go do your thing and I’ll watch the corridor.”  It only takes Root a minute to upload the video to the school’s intranet.  She sets it up to play immediately when the homepage loads.  It takes her another minute to erase the security footage from the school cameras and another to make sure they glitch while they leave the campus.  “Done.”

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s hungry so they decide to get breakfast.  “This is the world’s most perfect food,” Sameen moans. 

“You think egg, cheese, and Canadian bacon on a toasted English muffin deserves the honor?” 

Sameen rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “It’s the coming together of the ingredients, the whole bigger than the sum of its parts type thing.”  She gives Root an ‘I’m patiently explaining this to you because you know nothing about food’ type look.

“What do you think I should do about my mom Sam?” 

Root’s switch of topic causes Sameen mental whiplash.  She puts down her food, which Root knows she’d only do for her; Sameen would eat through the apocalypse.  “Do you remember when you were six and you went to see her at rehab?”

“Not really.”

“I do.  You told me all about it that night.  You wanted her to tell you why she hurt you.  But she wouldn’t admit it.  She made it seem you deserved it.  I let you sleep in my bed and you cried yourself to sleep.  So I guess it all depends on what you hope to accomplish by seeing her.  She’s still the same person Root.”  She wonders if she should tell Root about the letter, but something holds her back.  She doesn’t want to overwhelm her.

“You think I should talk to Anwen?”

“It can’t hurt.  She was there and she knows what your mother did to you and everything you went through.”  Root nods her head thoughtfully and they finish eating in comfortable silence.

 

* * *

 

Root and Sameen make it back to school just as the bell rings.  There’re a few furtive glances thrown their way, but no one says anything to them.  But Carter accosts them the minute they get to first period.  “Remind me never to get on your bad side,” Carter says ruefully. 

Sameen and Root discussed it and they decided not to admit to anyone they were responsible for the video; even people they more or less trust.  But it doesn’t mean they’ll outright lie to those people.  They side-step the issue by asking Carter whether she’s learned anything else relating to their investigation and Carter lets it drop; although she gives them a knowing look.

“No, and at this point I don’t think there’s anything else we can learn.  Someone needs to talk to those guys, but it’s not like they’re just going to trust someone who cozies up and tries to ask them if they targeted minority groups with liquid ecstasy at the dance.”

“Well I’m the only one who might have a chance at getting close,” Root muses.  “Root those people are dangerous,” Carter warns. 

As the day progresses it seems people are giving Root and Sameen a wider berth than usual.  Conversation seems to trail off when they approach; Root smirks at everyone and Sameen just wears her usual blank gaze.

It gets more interesting at lunch time.  Hannah’s already at their table as usual.  “You two are scary,” she point out, although she doesn’t seem the least bit put off.  “Since Jules bragged about her prank on Sameen, everyone assumes you’re responsible for the video.  Of course I’m sure of it,” Hanna gloats with a knowing smirk.  Root just gives her an enigmatic grin.

“But you should be prepared to be called into the principal’s office.  IT has been trying to get the video off the intranet all morning with no luck.”  Sameen’s not shocked in the least.  They don’t stand a chance against Root’s coding.  “One of the teachers heard about Jules prank, so it’s only a matter of time.”  Root shrugs her shoulders and Sameen pretends not to hear.  “Anyway you guys should get your stories straight.”

Root knows the most effective lies are the least complicated.  She went to the movies with Jules, but left pretty soon after they arrived because Jules made a pass at her.  The text to her brother will bolster Root’s story.  She walked home and watched movies with Sameen on Netflix all night.  No one knows Sameen was there; she left Netflix playing a movie on tv should anyone care to check, but Root knows no one will.

Sameen’s only curious about one thing.  She looks around the cafeteria searching for Jules.  “She’s not here today,” Hanna points out astutely.  “There’s a rumor she’s transferring schools.”  Sameen’s not surprised and Root couldn’t care less.  “Good riddance.  Although I was looking forward to Sameen wiping the track with her at the meet.”

 

* * *

 

The summons to the principal’s office comes during fifth period lit.  They’re both escorted together but Sameen is shown in first.  Principal Penn motions to a chair in front of his desk and leans back studying Sameen closely.  The assistant closes the door and the murmur of voices from the outer office cut off abruptly.  Sameen stares at the clock on the wall and waits.  If Penn thinks she’s going to break the silence, they’re going to be there a long time.  Sameen and silence are old friends.

“Ms. Shaw, I’d like to talk to you about an incident, well two incidents, involving Jules Aaronson.”  Sameen finally looks away from the clock, studying Penn’s suspicious eyes under pencil thin feminine eyebrows, narrow lips pressed in a tight line…and waits.  So far she hasn’t been asked a question so there’s nothing to say.

“I understand Ms. Aaronson played a prank on you, stealing your clothes from the locker room.”  Still not a question. “Did she?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know why?”

“You’d have to ask her.”

“I’m asking you,” Penn insists firmly.

“No, I don’t know.”  It’s not a lie; it’s likely Jules did it in response to the wild goose chase Sameen sent her on, but she doesn’t actually _know_.  Root never let Jules finish explaining.

“Did you retaliate?”

“No.”  Also true; she had let it go until she found out Jules was bragging and lying about it.  It wasn’t the prank that motivated the retaliation.

“You expect me to believe you?”  Sameen shrugs as if bored.  “Up to you.”

“Where were you Friday night?”

“Home.”  If Penn is getting frustrated with Sameen’s one-word answers, he doesn’t show it.  “So you weren’t at the special showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show?”

“No.”  Still true.  “Then why did someone see you there?”

“They didn’t,” Sameen answers in a bored tone.  Really, for a principal Penn sucks at interrogations.  He should be more experienced at getting information from recalcitrant students.  The 'someone saw you' lie is so transparent.

“Someone posted a nasty video of Ms. Aaronson to the school’s intranet.”  Silence from Sameen and now Penn clenches his jaw.  “Have you seen it?”

“Yes.”

“You see why it seems suspicious.  She plays a prank on you and suddenly the video appears,” he asserts.

“Well?”

“Well what?” Sameen feigns confusion.  “Do you see why it seems suspicious, Ms. Shaw,” Penn bites out.

“Not really.  I barely knew her and she tried to humiliate me.  I’m sure if you look at her records you’ll find she pulled these types of stunts before.”  Sameen knows he’ll find them because Root created them.  “Anyone she targeted could’ve been angry enough to want revenge.”

He stares at her for several long minutes but Sameen’s gaze never wavers.  “You may go Ms. Shaw.”

Sameen’s told to return to her class, but she waits for Root in the hallway.  She can see Root’s wide smile through the glass doors.  Twenty minutes later she comes out of the office with Principal Penn who’s smiling at her like they’re best friends.  Unbelievable; Root could charm a fish onto the hook.

“Okay Root, spill,” Sameen huffs.

“I may have convinced him Jules was extremely aggressive and I left the theater very upset.  He was very compassionate.  I mentioned the text to her brother and it seemed to convince him I certainly had nothing to do with it.”  Root grins smugly.  “The video will self-delete tonight and this will blow over by the end of the week.”           

 

* * *

 

When Sameen comes home from practice, she sees Anwen’s car in the driveway.  The door to the basement’s closed, so she assumes Root’s down there talking to her.  She finds Mah in the kitchen.  Time to bite the bullet.

“Maman, I need to talk to you.”  Mah already looks worried and concerned.  “Of course, azizam.”

“I opened the letter Groves left for Root.”  Sameen pulls it out of her backpack and slides it over but Mah doesn’t reach for it.  “Sameen,” she sighs, “why?”

“Because the woman has hurt Root enough!  I wasn’t going to let her ambush Root yet again.”  Sameen makes an effort to tone down the heat in her words.  Mah sighs deeply.  “I understand Sameen.  I wish I could protect her from this too, but I’m not sure invading her privacy was the answer.  However, it’s not for me to judge; it’s between you and Root.  I suspect Root will accept your attempt to protect her.”  She smiles softly.  “You’ve always worked things out together.” 

She slides the letter back to Sameen without reading it.  “But maybe you should give it to her now.  Anwen may be able to help Root manage the fallout.”  Sameen nods resignedly.  She doesn’t regret doing it, but she’s not looking forward to telling Root.

She knocks on the basement door before entering.  Root’s looking towards the stairs, expecting her.  “Hey Sam.”  Anwen smiles, not surprised Sameen came to check on Root.

“I don’t want to intrude…” Sameen starts tentatively.

“You’re never intruding,” Root assures her.  She knows Sameen and there’s a reason she’s down here other than just checking on her.

Sameen clears her throat.  “Groves,” Sameen refuses to call the woman Root’s mother even though they share a last name, “left a letter for you the other day.  I opened it and read it.”  She hands it to Root. 

Root looks at the letter in her hand and then at Sameen.  “Do I want to read this Sameen?”  She asks plainly.  “No…it’s just like before.”  Root sighs, but it’s not defeated, more like she’s gathering her strength.  “Then we’ll burn it.”  Even Sameen’s surprised Root doesn’t want to read it.  “You sure?”

“Yes.  I’m not going to let her hurt me if I can prevent it.  I trust you.”  Root gives her a small smile and gestures for Sameen to sit next to her.  Sameen feels her heart clench.  After everything she put Root through recently, she’s deeply grateful Root meant it when she said she still trusted her.

Anwen knows she can speak freely in front of Sameen.  She’s always supported Root unquestioningly and was a key component in Root’s previous therapy.  Observing them now she thinks about her conversation with Mah about the feelings the girls may be developing for each other.

Anwen’s only concern stems from the insular relationship the girls share.  They’ve never made room for anyone else.  She fears their relationship may stem from codependency rooted in childhood.  Then again, codependency doesn’t fit their relationship either; it’s not one-sided and it doesn’t enable either one of them to indulge self-destructive behaviors.  If anything, the girls have helped each other grow into strong, confident women.  They’re equals in the way they relate, challenging each other. 

As kids, Root unquestionably depended on Sameen for self-esteem and protection.  But Root used Sameen’s faith in her to learn to believe in herself and Sameen used Root’s unconditional acceptance to learn to express her feelings without fear.  It’s a stronger foundation than most for a romantic relationship.  Mah fears for them, but agrees with Anwen they need to support them as they work it out.  Even if Mah were so inclined, nothing strong enough exists to separate them against their will.


	58. Trouble Magnet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Groves shows up at the girls school, Root makes her first flirtatious comment to Sameen, and they get involved with the racists from their school with disastrous results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proof-read yet.

Root’s been thinking about their investigation and on their way to school she outlines her plan.  Sameen’s not crazy about the idea.  Root wants to ingratiate herself with Shannon and Amanda, which means she’ll be sitting next to Shannon during their shared class and with them both during lunch.  Root’s going to hint at her role in the video, which should help convince them Root shares their views.

“Fine, but at the first hint of trouble we’ll scrap the plan and call Fusco.”  Sameen’s tone and expression brook no argument.  “Of course sweetie.”

 

* * *

 

“Oh, hell no!” Sameen’s scowl rates a 10 on the Richter scale.  Root looks in the same direction and spots her mother.  She sighs deeply, but starts walking towards Groves resolutely.  She was caught off guard that day at the house, but after talking with Anwen and Sameen, she feels confident she can deal with her mother.

Sameen pulls on her arm gently.  “Root, are you sure you want to talk to her?  We can call security, or better yet maman, and she’ll make sure she doesn’t keep stalking you.” 

“No Sam, I need to deal with this myself; but I wouldn’t mind some backup.”  Sameen nods assertively and wears her deadly stare as they walk towards the abusive woman.

“Samantha…”  Root cuts her off.  “It’s Root, and I’m not interested in anything you have to say.  I want you to leave and stop bothering me.  As far as I’m concerned you don’t exist.”  Root utters her words calmly, but with an undercurrent of steel.  Sameen’s impressed…and very very proud of her friend.

But Groves ignores them as if the words were never spoken.  “Samantha dear, could we talk in private?”

“No, and if you don’t leave immediately I’m calling the cops.”  Groves smirks because she doesn’t believe Root will do it.  She’s always been able to manipulate her daughter and she’s convinced nothing’s changed in that regard.

When she doesn’t leave Root shakes her head in disgust and backs far enough away her mother can’t eavesdrop on her phone call.  Sameen stays between Groves and Root.  Groves moves to follow Root, but she’ll have to crawl over Sameen’s dead cold body. 

“You take another step and you’ll wish I took a razorblade to your body instead.”  Sameen will never forget what this woman did and she really hopes Groves tries to get by her.  But there’s a reason people are intimidated by Sameen even when she doesn’t say a word and Groves doesn’t take another step.

Less than a minute later a squad car pulls up with lights flashing.  Two officers emerge, serious looks on their faces; their uniforms identify them as Officers Russel and Lockwood.  Russel stays by the car while Lockwood approaches.  He’s tall, with a distinct skeletal look, the skin drawn tight across his nose and chin, his cheeks sunken pits.  He walks directly to Groves.  “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.  If you attempt to follow or otherwise hassle these girls, on or off school grounds, I will arrest you for criminal harassment.”

“Officer this is just a misunderstanding.  I’m only trying to speak with my daughter.”  Groves tries an ingratiating smile, but Lockwood simply stares at her and reaches for his handcuffs.  It’s obvious she wants to keep arguing, but equally obvious Lockwood’s perfectly willing to arrest her if she doesn’t comply.  The officers wait, watching Groves until she gets in her car and drives away.

“Thank you officers,” Root smiles appreciatively.  Lockwood hands her a card.  “This is our sector so if you have any more problems just call my cell phone.”

“We really appreciate your help.” 

The officers leave without asking any questions. 

Sameen looks at Root, confused.  “I called Fusco.  He said he’d immediately send a squad car and explain the situation to the officers.”

“Huh, who knew he’d be so helpful,” Sameen mutters.

 

* * *

 

When they get home they tell Mah about the incident.  “Unfortunately I had a feeling she wouldn’t go away so easily.  Bâbâ and I discussed it already; we’ll have Arthur file for an order of protection immediately.  The court usually includes a stay away provision and orders no contact in any form.”

Both Root and Sameen look at Mah skeptically.  “Maman, we know a piece of paper can’t stop anyone from doing anything,” Sameen points out.  “You’re right azizam, but with the order in place, we can have her arrested.”  Root doesn’t look very reassured and Mah can imagine what she’s worried about.  “I don’t want you to worry nāzi, there’s nothing your mother can do to take you from us.”

But Root’s heard the promise before and although she doesn’t blame them, Mah and Abbas weren’t able to keep Mary from taking her.  So although she appreciates Mah’s attempt at reassurance, she doesn’t feel any better.

Root’s been buried in her coding for Harold’s project for the last three hours.  Sameen worked out and finished her homework while keeping Root company in comfortable silence.

Root looks up for the first time when Mah calls them for dinner.  “It’s not fair Sam.  We’ve done everything right and still my mother can just show up and cause problems whenever the mood strikes her.”

 

* * *

 

They’re hanging out in Sameen’s room listening to music and working on their game app before bed.  “Root, I know you can take care of yourself, but for the next few days can we stick closer together?” Sameen asks carefully.  She’s afraid Root might be insulted or take it the wrong way.  It’s really to soothe Sameen’s anxiety; otherwise she’ll be constantly worried when Root’s not with her.

Root looks up and smiles seductively.  “We can get as close as you’d like sweetie.”  Sameen never anticipated this response; when did Root learn to smile seductively…and flirt?  Sameen’s pretty sure its flirting, but has no clue how to react.  So she rolls her eyes and shakes her head, turning back to the game and trying to hide her blushing cheeks.

 

* * *

 

The next couple of weeks pass by and Groves hasn’t made an appearance.  Root’s made progress ingratiating herself into the klan and they’re starting to lower their guard when she’s around.  So far other than occasional comments promoting their disgusting ideology, no one’s said anything about the dance.

 

//Sam, Shannon asked me to come over to her house after school to hang out.  I know for sure Amanda will be there.//

//absolutely not!//

Root knows Sameen’s serious when she’s using punctuation marks in her texts.

//I’ll text you her address; if you don’t hear from me by 5pm, send in the cavalry.//

//NO!//

//Sameen this is our shot at learning something about why I almost died.  I’m going.//

//I can’t stop you, but you can’t stop me either.  I’ll find somewhere near her house so I’m close by if anything goes wrong.  I’ll be close enough to hear you scream.//

//Just don’t let yourself get caught Sameen.  I mean it!//

//yeah yeah just be safe//

 

Sameen cuts out early from her auto class and races to the address Root sent her.  She wants to be set up before Root gets to Shannon’s house.  She hides her bike under the next-door neighbor’s hedge and climbs the oak tree in their backyard; luckily no one’s home, probably still at work. 

Her vantage point lets her see into a second story bedroom and a piece of the kitchen downstairs.  It’s not ideal, but she is close enough to hear Root scream.  It occurs to Sameen she didn’t remind Root not to eat or drink anything she’s offered.  If they’re behind the previous drugging, there’s nothing stopping them from doing it again.  She starts to text but she stops to think of something innocuous in case anyone’s around Root when she reads it.

//feeling better from stomach bug?  be careful  anything you ingest can make you throw up again  see  you later//

When the girls get to Shannon’s house she sees Root look around casually, obviously trying to spot her.  Sameen shakes her head.  ‘as if’

Time drags by as Sameen’s ass falls asleep and she gets increasingly twitchy with the rough bark rubbing against her thighs.  She hasn’t seen or heard anything since the girls went inside.  Her gut’s telling her something’s wrong.  Shouldn’t she have heard something?  The kitchen window is open and there’s a smaller one open upstairs, which is probably in a bathroom. 

//hanna’s here  wants to know when you’ll be back  what do I tell her//

Twenty minutes later Root still hasn’t texted.  There’s no reason she couldn’t return a text when she’s just hanging out with some friends, right?  She decides to wait ten more minutes and then she’s going to go knock on the door.  She doesn’t care if their plan goes up in flames.

Ten minutes later she’s knocking on the door.  She waits and then knocks again harder with the side of her fist when no one answers.  It doesn’t bode well for whatever’s going on inside.  She circles the house and looks in all the windows but doesn’t see anyone.  It’s a little past five so she double checks her phone to make sure Root hasn’t texted.  But there’s still no reply, so she climbs through the kitchen window.

She lands into a sink brimming with dirty dishes and almost goes sprawling over the patterned linoleum flooring before regaining her footing.  The only sound is the quiet hum of the fridge motor.  She can see the living room through the kitchen archway.  It’s empty and still quiet.

She turns down a hallway and finds a fold-down staircase descending from a partially open rectangular hatch door.  Hopefully the steps won’t creek and alert anyone to her presence.  Halfway up the stairs she hears muted voices.  She’s going to have to shove the hatch open fast and pop into the room before anyone can react.

She takes a deep breath and loosens her tense muscles.  She pushes the hatch up violently and steps into the attic quickly.  She hears a muttered ‘fuck’ and when she turns to the source, it’s Amanda holding her shin.  The hatch must have hit her when Shaw flung it open. 

Root’s slumped against an old vacuum, her check swollen; probably from a punch.  Amanda smiles at Sameen, her rotten stitch smile widening, like she knows something Sameen doesn’t.  Sameen’s already turning when Root yells “behind you!”

Instinctively she ducks and guards her head with her arm.  Shannon overbalances and Shaw flips her over her head.  She lands with a hard thump, knocking Amanda over in the process.  Sameen knows this isn’t a training session in a dojo.  There’s no time or space for fancy kicks or measured strikes.  So she unleashes the ferocity and ruthlessness she represses when she's training.

Shannon’s already getting up and Sameen shoves her head-first into an exposed wooden beam.  Amanda’s searching the attic with darting eyes trying to find something to use as a weapon.  She lunges towards a shelf holding a large metal flashlight.  Sameen uses her momentum against her, an adrenalin fueled push causing her to crash into the wooden shelf.  She screams out as vicious scrape on her neck starts to bleed.

Sameen realizes Root’s duct-taped to a pipe and quickly uses her pocket knife to cut her loose, never turning her back to her dazed opponents.  “Go down first,” Sameen pants.  Once Root’s head clears the hatch she follows quickly, pulling the hatch shut behind her.

They run towards the front door.  “Don’t stop running until you get to your bike and take off, I’ll be right behind you.”  Sameen doesn’t bother to sneak around even though she can see there’s a car in the neighbor’s driveway.  She yanks her bike from under the hedge and jumps on.  She gives the front door of Shannon’s house a quick glance, but no one’s following.

She catches up with Root and they make it to the house safely.  Once Sameen drops her bike, she doubles over in a coughing fit.  “Sam, are you alright?” Root asks anxiously.  Sameen tries to nod while focusing on clearing her lungs.  It finally passes and she straightens out although she’s still heaving a bit.  “Yeah, I think I inhaled some of the insulation.”

 

* * *

 

“Root, what the hell happened?!”

Root shrugs sheepishly.  They caught me taking a picture of this manifesto/diary I found in Shannon’s room.  Turns out they were already suspicious of me because someone told them I was friends with Carter and she’d been asking questions too.  They’d left it out on purpose.”

“So why were you in the attic?”

“They jumped me and once they had me restrained they shoved me up those stairs.  You saw the place; it’s littered with flags and propaganda…their shrine to the supreme white race.  I think they wanted to scare me or impress me, not sure which really.”

“How’d you get the bruise on your face?”

“ _After_ they restrained me Shannon punched me for using her.”

Sameen sighs and shakes her head.  “You’re a magnet for trouble.  I knew this wasn’t a good idea.  What are we going to tell maman? Because we’re most certainly not lying.”

Root takes a deep breath and shrugs.  “The truth.”

Sameen rolls her eyes and scowls.  “You know this time we will absolutely be grounded.”

“Yeah.  I know.”   


	59. When the Chickens Come Home to Roost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root and Sameen learn the practical realities of the consequences of their actions.

They find Mah at kitchen table, papers scattered in from of her.  She’s reviewing a grant application for the shelter.  She holds a finger up when she hears the girls; she’s just finishing a note.  When she looks up, she immediately rushes to Root’s side.  “Nāzi, are you hurt anywhere else?”  Mah doesn’t do panic, but she knows assessing any injuries takes priority.  Her voice is strained and her eyebrows are furrowed, lips a thin line.

“No maman, I’m okay.”

Mah exhales deeply.  “Good; that’s the most important thing.  Let’s get you an ice-pack and then the two of you are going to explain to me what’s going on.”

To their credit the girls tell Mah everything about their investigation, leaving nothing out.  Mah listens patiently although her face is increasingly flushed and she’s tapping her fingers on the table.  When they’re done, Mah stands and pours herself a glass of water.

She gives them a severe look, although it’s not unkind.  “The first time you girls rushed recklessly into a dangerous situation, we talked about trust.  Bâbâ and I thought if we worked together as a family, you would learn to trust us and not just each other. 

But yet again you’ve jumped in where angels fear to tread instead of coming to us.  Root, you almost _died_ ; did you ever stop and think how it affected bâbâ and me?  Losing you the first time tore at the fabric of our family; it’s not just Sameen who loves you.  Losing either one of you would destroy those of us left behind; it’s simply not an option.”

Tears stream down Root’s face, but she doesn’t interrupt.  It’s true; she never stopped to think about the consequences of her actions on everyone she cares about.

“Those people you chased are dangerous.  They killed Uziel; ripping him from his family in the cruelest way possible.  If you’re right and it was a hate crime, it’s even more heinous.  Did you know his father wasn’t able to get to the hospital before he died?  His mother watched their son die without ever regaining consciousness and without the support of her husband. 

Those people thought out the crime, gathered the drugs, and arranged to distract the one person that could’ve stopped them.  They didn’t act alone and, more than likely, this goes way beyond just your school.”

Sameen’s remained stoic throughout, although the knowledge she’s disappointed her mother and father weighs heavy inside, a rock of shame lodged in the pit of her stomach. 

"I'm going to call Lieutenant Fusco, and when he gets here you’re going to tell him everything and that will be the end of your involvement in this situation.  Tomorrow I will speak to each of your teachers and request they send home a list of your daily assignments for the next 30 days.  Lastly, you’re grounded for the same 30 days.

During the 30 days, you will lose your privileges; those things we let you do because we trust you.  Sameen, you will have to tell your track coach you’re off the team for the length of time you’re grounded.  If you lose your spot, it will be a consequence you’ll have to bear.  You’re also not permitted to go to the dojo.  Root, you will not participate in the computer club and your computer privileges are revoked except to the extent it’s needed to complete your assignments as determined by me; all electronic devices, of any kind, are banned from use.

You are not permitted in the basement.  If you wish to watch television you’ll do it in the living room.  The doors to your rooms will remain open at all times.  When you come home from school I will confiscate your phones until the next school day.  You’re only permitted to use them to communicate with bâbâ and me or in an emergency.  I will monitor the minutes and data and if you disobey I will take them away permanently.

I am not punishing you, but you need to understand the importance of trust in our family.  Day to day bâbâ and I trust you repeatedly; it’s why you’re permitted the leeway you seem to take for granted.  But for the next 30 days, we will not trust you.

You seem to forget bâbâ and I are human too; it’s hurt me deeply to think you place such little value on our family and most of all on your own lives.  Bâbâ will be equally devastated; he loves you both so much. 

We live for this family and I’d like you both to think about what that means.”


	60. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root and Sameen tell Fusco what they know and Root considers becoming an emancipated minor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last update until I decide whether Root will become an emancipated minor and move out. She'll use her computer skills to support herself, maybe sell an app or two. It won't mean they separate completely, but it does address the issue of continuing to live together with a potential romantic relationship in the works, as well as facilitate the entry of other people into their lives.
> 
> As always, I welcome your input.

Mah sits with Root and Sameen when they talk to Fusco.  As Root’s replaying Shannon and Amanda’s actions, she remembers something.  “Pictures…”  She turns to Mah, “maman I need my phone.  They never deleted the pictures I took.”  Mah hands her the phone she’d already confiscated and Root texts them to Fusco.

He zooms in and studies the pictures.  He looks up abruptly.  “Did you know?”

“Know what,” Root asks, shooting Sameen a puzzled look.

“It’s a step-by-step outline of the attack at your school; along with a list of other schools they intended to target with the names of students enlisted to help during the other attacks.”

He tries not to look impressed because he knows Mah’s extremely upset, but he has to hand it to Root and Sameen, they have a knack for this sort of thing.  Though if it was his son, he’d be installing deadbolts on his bedroom door. 

Fusco was already investigating the racist angle of the attack, but they’d been unable to come up with anything giving them probable cause to dig deeper.  He was completely unaware of the vice-principal’s distraction because she lied about it; probably afraid of losing her job.  She claimed she was there all night and nothing suspicious happened.  Now she’d be lucky to stay out of jail for hindering a murder investigation. 

Although it was widely assumed the punch was spiked, there is still no physical evidence.  So far the lab has not found any residue on any of the bowls or cups; they’re still going through the cups but even if they found them, it’d be far from conclusive the drinks were spiked at the source.

Now he has concrete evidence of the plot, a lead to check the lockers of the potential suspects, and a reason to immediately arrest Shannon and Amanda, as well as cause for a search warrant.  He also can pick up Dylan’s father for questioning.

When Mah called him, Fusco sent a unit to sit on Shannon’s house to keep anyone from leaving.  The neighbors are cooperating and there is also an officer in their backyard with a plain view of the rear of the property.  He calls the sector car and orders them to detain the suspects immediately; no sense giving them anymore time to destroy evidence.  He also calls the station to get an address for Dylan’s house as well as Tom’s and dispatch additional units.

“You two should’ve never gotten involved in a police investigation and if it goes to trial we may need you to testify.”  He glances at Mah who already looks resigned to the idea; clearly she’d already reached the same conclusion.  Fusco wants to find a way to thank the girls without angering Mah any further, but he can’t think of anything that won’t sound like approval of their actions.  Mah walks him out.

 

* * *

 

“Sam, do you ever think maybe we’re too close?”  Something flashes in Sameen’s eyes too quickly for Root to decipher.  “No.”

“Maybe we are too wrapped up in each other.  We don’t have any perspective.  Imagine if maman knew what we did to Jules?  She’d never accept any reason trying to justify it.”

Sameen doesn’t roll her eyes or scowl.  But Root feels naked under her stare.  “What are you saying Root?”

“Maybe we need to step back…from everything.”  Sameen’s guard slams shut.  “You seem so quick lately to jump to the conclusion we need to grow apart in order to grow as people.  The two aren’t mutually exclusive Root.”

Sameen’s heart breaks at the sadness in Root’s eyes.  “I murdered a man because I couldn’t accept any risk of losing you,” she whispers sadly.  They’ve never talked about Sturgis again, but it plagues Root’s mind when she’s emotionally run down.  “Sturgis murdered a man in cold blood right in front of me; I doubt it was his first time.  He got what he deserved,” Sameen points out flatly.

“Maybe; but did it give me the right to be judge, jury, and executioner?”

“You tell me.  If he hired a hit out from prison or got out again and succeeded in killing me, would you regret letting him live more or less than killing him?”

“We know the answer Sam…but it just reinforces my point.  I can’t live without you.”

Sameen sighs deeply and looks away.  “You know Root you keep turning my volume up so high, sometimes I’m not sure I can live with you.”

“I’ve been doing some research…on becoming an emancipated minor.”  Root gets it out in a rush and looks away guiltily.  If you’d asked Sameen her opinion on the one thing least likely to ever occur, Root leaving their family voluntarily wouldn’t even be on the list.

When Root finally looks up, Sameen’s completely cut off from her.  Sameen speaks quietly, but clearly.  “You’ve been considering leaving our family and you never even mentioned it?”

“Well the legal age before I can be considered emancipated is 16, but I need to be living on my own and supporting myself.”  Root doesn’t elaborate on the other criteria she already meets or the weakened position of Mah and Abbas to oppose her since they are not her legal parents, only legal guardians.  She also doesn't admit she's considering moving out of the school district so they'll attend different schools.

“Fuck you Root.”  Sameen thinks of other mean and spiteful things she can say to lash out because her world’s just been turned upside down; things intended to wound Root.  But she promised herself she’d never do it again.  Plus she needs time to think, because she’s sure there’s more to this than Root’s saying.  So she just turns her back and walks away.  


	61. Preemptive Strike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sameen figures out why Root's so interested in emancipation, they share a few kisses, and decide they're stronger together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MJ took a vague idea and helped me turn it into the foundation of the emancipation sub plot. Thanks MJ!

The strain between them doesn’t make their grounding any easier to bear.  They spend most of their time at home reading or watching tv or doing homework, usually not in each other’s company.  School’s not much better and they’re both fending off repeated questions from Hanna about what’s wrong. 

Sameen can’t stop thinking about the idea of Root becoming an emancipated minor.  She tries to lose herself in her drawing, but she’s stuck.  The rift between her and Root makes it difficult to concentrate when Root’s her favorite subject.  The reasons Root gave her are valid, but Sameen knows there’s more.

Root feels adrift.  Sameen and her are barely speaking; not out of anger but because they’re both avoiding the subject of Root’s potential emancipation.  But the more she thinks about it, the more Root thinks it will be best for all of them.  She needs to start taking care of herself and Mah and Abbas have done so much for her already, it’s unfair to ask for more.

 

* * *

 

It takes her a couple of weeks, but Sameen thinks she’s figured out why Root’s suddenly convinced she should live on her own.  She finds Root in her room reading.

“Hey Sam…”  Root gives her the same sad smile she’s been using for weeks.

“You’re afraid.”

“Sameen…”

“Let me finish Root.  You’re frightened your mother’s going to find a way to take you from us again.  You’re telling yourself you don’t deserve to be happy or loved and your mother’s reappearance is some kind of bad omen.  You’re overwhelmed by how deeply you’re valued by all of us; you’ve never learned to expect it because you still feel you’re not worthy.  Instead of fighting you’re choosing to run.”

Root sighs and shrugs her shoulders dejectedly.  “Before my mother showed up again, I felt happy and safe.  Even though we’ve been struggling with all these different feelings and almost dying, I felt content.  I pulled on that rubber band of belonging for so long; I should’ve known it would snap at some point.”

“But that’s just it Root; it hasn’t snapped.  You’re just terrified of how much it will sting if it ever does; but it doesn’t mean you’re right.”

“Sameen, we know how maman and bâbâ wrested custody from Mary.  They threatened her with reporting her to the feds and then paid her off; it could be seen as extortion.  By now my mother knows it.  It’s why she’s so confident she’ll be able to drag me back into her life.  How many felonies did Harold commit just to find me?  There’s a copy of a forged court order at the hospital.  I’m not letting everyone I care about, the only people who ever fought for me, crash and burn if I can stop it.”

“How will emancipation accomplish that Root?”

“If I’m an emancipated minor, no one can use any parental rights against me.  It will be a moot point because I will be an adult under the law.  We won’t have to keep looking over our proverbial shoulder for the next four years.”

“Don’t we get a say too Root?  Will you at least give us a chance to talk about it with Mah and Abbas before you do anything drastic?”

“Of course Sameen.  I’m not going to disappear in the middle of the night and I have no intention of severing myself from our family.  I just can’t keep going through the fear of being taken away anytime some relative gets it in their mind I’m their meal ticket.  Because rest assured, my mother’s never cared or wanted me; if she wants back into my life it’s because there’s something in it for her, even if we don’t know what it is yet.”

 

* * *

 

“Girls, as I’m sure you know, your grounding ends tomorrow.  Abbas and I would like to know if these four weeks have given you any insight into why we felt so disappointed and why trust is crucial to our family.”

Sameen looks frantically at Root and Root smiles genuinely at her friend.  “I think the most important thing we’ve realized is trust is a two-way street and we have a responsibility to do our part.  If you can’t trust that we’ll come to you when we have problems, then we can’t expect you to trust us to make our own choices and decisions.” 

Mah gives them a gentle smile and Abbas looks impressed at the thoughtful answer.  He looks at Sameen, but she’s looking at Root like her next words are for her.  “Trust can only be built or shattered.  Every action and every word does one or the other.”

 

* * *

 

Saturday morning finds Root glued to her computer and Sameen working out.  Sameen’s mentally exhausted.  She’s spent weeks thinking about Root…whether she’s leaving, whether she’s pushing Sameen away, whether the kisses meant anything.  The anger keeps building and she knows she’s going to have to push herself to talk about them or she’ll lash out without warning.  Now their privileges have been restored Sameen thinks about posting to the blog, but even she realizes some things require human interaction to express and understand.

“I’m going to take a shower, you want to go grab subs and eat them at the park after?”

“Sure sweetie; sounds good.”

Trees line the path, branches weaving together to support a thick, yellowing canopy. Squirrels leap from tree to tree, traveling along their own private highway around the mirror-calm pond, collecting bits and bobs for nests. Every so often a leaf glides down to join the others on the walkway bed. Every time a runner or cyclist roars past, they stir and twist, briefly alive once more, before settling back to sleep.

Root and Sameen emerge from the path into a less populated area of the park and stretch out their blanket under the shade of an oak tree.  Sameen digs into her sub with abandon and they eat in comfortable silence.  Sameen finishes her foot-long before Root’s done with her six inch; she stretches out and dozes, her sunglasses shielding her eyes from the rays of light streaming through the branches above them.

When Root’s done she stretches out next to Sameen and stares up at the clear sky. She knows Sameen has something on her mind, but she thinks it’s best to wait until Sameen decides to start talking.  She feels this will be one of those conversations Sameen finds most difficult and she wants her to feel safe to express whatever’s on her mind.

“I’m confused Root.  Several weeks ago you told me you didn’t need space; you just needed me.  Then a few weeks ago you tell me you think we need to take a step back from each other.  So which is it?”  Root turns on her side to face Sameen and gently slips the sunglasses from Sameen’s face so she can see her eyes.  “Needing you so much scares me sometimes.  I’m not trying to give you mixed messages.”

“Is it because I remind you of all the things you regret or want to forget?  Sturgis, Carmichael, Mary, Jules or…”  Root places a finger on her lips gently.  “No Sameen.  I’ve thought a lot about what you said about being afraid and you’re right.  My mother’s sudden reappearance shunted me back in time to the abused little girl who thought she’d found a home and people who loved her only to be cruelly yanked away. 

There’s always been a small part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop because I don’t believe I deserve happiness.  The little girl physically, mentally, and emotionally abused by a mother whose favorite mantra was telling her she was worthless and unwanted and unworthy lives inside me.  Except for those few months I spent with your family when I was five, I spent the first ten years of my life with people at best indifferent, but mostly burdened by my existence.

You were the only one in those ten years I believed cared for me unconditionally.  You gave me the kernel of love I held onto.  You were the only reason I dared to keep alive a modicum of hope that one day things would be different and better.  The only thing I believed without a doubt during those years is we would find each other again.”

“So why are you so eager to throw it all away?”

“I’m not.  I know I can’t live without you in my life.  So I can’t risk leaving us vulnerable to someone tearing us apart again.  I shouldn’t have said we should take a step back.  I’m not always right Sam.  Sometimes I’m confused and scared and I make mistakes; I don’t have all the answers.  But becoming an emancipated minor doesn’t need to mean we grow apart.  It’s something we can do together precisely because we want to protect our relationship.”

“I like kissing you,” Sameen whispers.  “Oh sweetie, I really like kissing you too,” she reassures with Sameen’s proprietary full-body smile.

She shifts so she’s half lying on Sameen, pushing their lips together in a soft stroke.  Sameen slides her arms around her and pulls her close, claiming and possessive.  She touches Root’s face with the back of her hand, drawing it downward and Root’s tongue caresses her lower lip gently.  She runs her fingers through Sameen’s hair and cradles her head as the kiss deepens.  They break apart, skin flushed, breaths fast and loud. 

Sameen can’t tear her eyes away from Root’s kiss-swollen lips and pulls her down again, teeth playfully scraping at her lower lip.  Root moans into her mouth and shifts again until she’s lying on top of Sameen, their bodies pressed tightly together.  Sameen’s feeling feverish and a sudden flush of warmth spreads from her groin outward.  Root’s racing heartbeat drums in her chest and her pulse races.  When they break apart again they’re both gasping and Root rests her head on Sameen’s shoulder.

They spend a long while alternating kisses with comfortable silences before letting reality settle back over them.  “Root when are we going to talk to maman and bâbâ about your idea?”

“I don’t want to wait and let them think we’re still holding things back Sam, so how about tomorrow?  I don’t want to ambush them.  I meant what I said about working through it as a family.  I haven’t made up my mind.  But I do think it deserves serious consideration.  If we agree it’s the best course of action I won’t be moving for at least another ten months.  I am going to talk to Harold about maybe selling our game app.  He may be able to guide us.”

“It’s your app Root.”

“No Sameen; it’s our app.  Ideas are just as important as coding in developing any application.  It’s ours and if we end up selling it half the money’s yours.  You can save it for college.  I’ve seen you with the kids at the shelter.  You’d make an excellent doctor and medical school’s expensive.  But anyway we’re getting way ahead of ourselves; none of this is going to happen overnight.  We’ll talk about it every step of the way with each other and with maman and bâbâ.  We may end up scrapping the idea or going in a completely different direction.  But I promise you Sameen, we’ll decide together.”  


	62. CAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks MJ for your ideas as well as dialogue!
> 
> Also, I'm looking for Root to give Shaw a nickname other than Sam. Any ideas? Or even one for Shaw to give Root. Let me know!

“Laser tag?” Sameen asks hopefully.

Root would actually like to go back to kissing, but she can tell Sameen’s strumming with energy.  Root gives her a disarming smile and nips her chin.  She’s still lying partly on Sameen so she shifts and rolls off sideways, but Sameen follows until she’s the one on top.  Root smiles coyly, “I thought you wanted to go play…something else?”

Root can see Sameen’s dilated pupils through her hooded eyes and licks her lip with anticipation, wrapping her arms loosely around Sameen’s waist.  But when Sameen leans in, her lips skip Root’s mouth and instead graze her neck up to her earlobe, using her teeth to tug erotically and whispers “I like playing a lot of things with you.”  Before Root can react, Sameen’s standing, reaching her hand out to help her up.

“What do you say we make it more interesting Sam?”  Sameen usually wins, so she’s not too concerned.  She rolls her eyes.  “Fine; what’re the stakes?”  Root makes a show of thinking although she knows exactly what she wants.  “If I win we play Too Hot.”  Sameen scrunches her eyes.  “I have no idea what that means, but okay.  If I win, I get to pick the next five movies we watch.”  Root’s eyes are dancing with mischief and Sameen suddenly wonders what she just agreed to.  “Deal,” Root says quickly before Sameen can change her mind. 

They decide to play Slayer with five hits equaling death.  They’re pretty evenly matched in marksmanship but Root excels at stealth, while Sameen prefers a more aggressive approach.

Sameen quickly heads for cover, ducking low.  She’s in constant motion, hoping to flank Root before she knows it.  Root pops up and catches Sameen in the open, scoring a direct hit.  She hears Sameen curse and doubles back.  Soon she’s stalking Sameen.

They’re at a 90 degree angle from each other.  Root’s shot streaks past Sameen’s face and she turns automatically to her left, firing as she spins.  Root anticipates her move and sidesteps to the right, standing, her height giving her an advantage.  She shoots over her cover and tags Sameen twice.  Root 3 – Sameen 0. 

Root moves quickly before Sameen can pin her down.  She has _no_ intention of losing this game.  Now she just needs to lure her closer.  Sameen excels at rapid firing, but she still needs five hits, whereas Root only needs two.  But she knows Sameen’s not going to be so easily fooled again. She lets a tiny piece of her gun barrel peak out from behind her bunker.  If she’s lucky Sameen will think it’s a mistake and come find her. 

Sameen finds her alright; coming over the bunker and shooting down at Root, but she only gets two shots off before Root’s shot her twice.  Sameen 2 – Root 5.  Root grins widely and Sameen starts to worry.

 

* * *

 

They’re home just in time for dinner; Mah and Abbas do not let them skip dinner with the family unless there’s an event of some sort.  Root tells maman and bâbâ about their day, while Sameen eats like she’s never had food before. 

When they’re done Mah clears her throat.  “We want you both to know the restraining order was granted by the court.  Your mother was served with the order today Root, so she’s aware of it even though she chose not to go to the hearing.”  Root hangs her head.  “May I be excused?”  Mah nods with a gentle smile.

Sameen sets her palms flat on the table, but doesn’t stand.  She exhales sharply and leans back in her chair.  “Sameen, are you okay?”  Sameen shakes her head but doesn’t meet Mah’s gaze.  Mah never asks if Sameen wants to talk about things because they learned early on it makes Sameen feel pressured and uncomfortable.  “Just…this is hard for Root.  Telling her at the dinner table was…insensitive.”

Mah’s a little taken aback but immediately sees Sameen’s point.  “You’re right, azizam.  I’ll go talk to her.”

“No!”  Sameen’s not exactly shouting but her voice is firm and Mah’s giving her a stern look.  “I’m sorry maman.  But just…give her some time.”

Sameen finds Root in their bathroom throwing up.  She holds her hair back until Root’s emptied everything in her stomach.  Root sits back and Sameen gets her a cool cloth to wipe her face.  When Root’s done heaving she rinses her mouth and brushes her teeth.  “Thanks, Sam.”  Sameen nods awkwardly not knowing what to say.  Root sighs deeply, “I’m going to take a shower.”

 

* * *

 

Sameen drops on her bed and wonders what she can do for Root.  It’s still early, but they’re both kind of sick of watching movies since they watched constantly when they were grounded.

 

//hey carter it’s shaw//

//hey shaw.  what’s up?//

//you busy tonight?//

//I was just texting with harper to hang out.  why?//

//why don’t you guys come over here and we’ll do game night?//

//hold a sec.  let me ask harper.//

//cool.  text me your address. we’ll be there in like an hour//

 

Sameen texts Carter the details and then it occurs to her she doesn’t know anyone named Harper. 

 

//hey kid//

//Shaw! Are you guys done being grounded?//

//yeah.  carter and harper are coming over for game night.  you want to come over?//

//Sure!  I’ll be there in 30.  Uh, who’s Harper?//

//no clue//

 

By the time Root’s out of the shower, Sameen’s told Mah about their plan and gathered some snacks and drinks.  They have got to get a refrigerator in the basement soon.  The back and forth is a pain in the ass.

“Put some clothes on Root.  Carter, Hanna, and Harper are coming over for game night.”

“Who’s Harper?”

“I don’t know.  Some friend of Carter’s I guess.”

“When did you make this plan?”

“While you were in the shower.”

“I’m not really up for people Sam.  I’ll pass, but have fun.”

“No.  You are not holing up in your room moping.  You need to get out of your head. We had a great day and you’re not going to let your poor excuse of an egg donor ruin it.  It’s the first night we’re not grounded in a month!  Now get dressed or I’ll carry you downstairs in nothing but your robe.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey Shaw, this is Harper.”  Sameen nods in greeting and sizes Harper up in a heartbeat.  Con-artist.  Sameen can’t pinpoint exactly why, but there’s something shifty in Harper’s cocky midnight wink and slightly ingratiating smile.  She edges uncomfortably close to Sameen, biting her lip, one eyebrow raised higher than the other.  “Sameen right?”  She asks innocently, ignoring Carter’s introduction.

“Shaw.”  Sameen’s response carries the weight of a punch and Harper smirks.  “Sorry… _Shaw_.”

“Come on; Root and Hanna are downstairs.”

Root’s sitting on the couch and glances back when she hears their footsteps as Hanna appears from between her legs.  Harper’s laugh rings out gleefully.  “I hope we’re not interrupting anything,” she smirks suggestively.  Sameen rolls her eyes behind her and Hanna looks confused.  Root stands up unperturbed.  “You must be Harper,” she comments dryly.

“Hey Root,” Carter calls out, as she shoves Harper further into the basement playfully.  “Ignore her; she has a filthy mind.”

“So what are we playing,” Hanna asks shyly.  She’s always a bit uncomfortable around people she doesn’t know and Harper’s assertive personality ratchets her nerves.  “Cards Against Humanity,” Root and Sameen call out simultaneously.

 

‘Maybe she’s born with it; maybe it’s _________________.’

 

‘Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II.’

‘Viagra.”

‘Used panties.’

‘Anal beads.’

 

The last card is Hanna’s and she turns bright red while the rest of them crack up.  “Look at this way kid, you definitely won this round!”  Sameen teases.  She’s taken to calling Hanna kid because her naiveté makes her seem so much younger and Sameen feels protective towards her; _not_ that she’ll admit it.

 

‘Dear Abby, I’m having some trouble with _________________ and would like your advice.’

 

‘Wiping her butt.’

‘Three dicks at the same time.’

‘My collection of high-tech sex toys.’

‘My vagina.’

 

“Is there any card in this game that’s not sexual?!” Hanna blurts.  Root’s the card czar for this round and tries not to laugh too hard.  “Looks like you win again!”  Carter’s squealing she’s laughing so hard and Sameen’s just rolling her eyes while Harper leans into Root conspiratorially.  Sameen’s not sure if she’s actually flirting or just being annoying, but she can tell Root’s not amused.

They take a break and when Root comes back she deliberately squeezes between Hanna and Sameen on the couch, leaving Harper and Carter on the other side of the coffee table.  “I’m only playing two more round of this game,” Hanna announces firmly.  Sameen smirks, but Root elbows her, taking pity on Hanna’s discomfort with the sexual undertones which keep popping up; partly because the cards lend themselves to it and partly because the rest of them have dirty minds.

 

What’s my secret power?  _________________

 

‘Spectacular abs.’

‘Morgan Freeman’s Voice.’

‘Drinking alone.’

‘Masturbation.’

 

Carter decrees masturbation the winner, which happens to be Root’s card. Sameen can’t help but be distracted by the memory of Root masturbating and calling her name.  “Well, if we were scoring on truth Sameen would definitely win; she really does have spectacular abs,” Root informs the group.  So now Sameen’s blushing doubly, but at least there’s a ready excuse.

Carter raises her eyebrows and smiles wickedly.  “Well let’s see Shaw…don’t be shy.”

Sameen gives Root a death stare, but she’s actually proud of her body so she lifts her shirt for a few seconds.  “Damn,” Carter exclaims, “Root wasn’t exaggerating!”  Sameen smiles smugly and takes a bow.

They all draw back up to 10 white cards.  So far the game’s been lively with everyone laughing and dropping hints about their cards so it’s noticeable when Root’s suddenly still and silent, a far off look in her eyes.  Hanna exchanges a concerned glance with Sameen, but Harper decides to make a spectacle of it.  “What’s the matter Root?  Run out of sexually inappropriate cards?” she teases. 

Root just sits there, thinking about one specific card she drew.  Incest.  The word sits in her mind, heavy and uncomfortable.  She looks at Sameen helplessly, struggling to snap out of it.  Sameen smiles at her reassuringly, trying to remind Root whatever’s wrong, they’ll figure it out together.  Root lets out a breath and shrugs, ignoring Harper.  Hanna quickly puts down a black card to finish the game.

 

‘What gets better with age?’  _________________

 

‘Barak Obama.’

‘Scientology.’

‘The gays.’

‘Old-people smell.’

 

“Well they couldn’t get any worse,” Harper laughs.  Everyone looks confused, except Hanna.  “That’s not even remotely funny Harper.”  She looks at Root apologetically, but she’s sick of Harper and she’s not really having a good time.  “Anyway, I gotta go; but thanks for everything.”  Root stands and walks Hanna upstairs.

“Hanna, I’m sorry.  I know you didn’t enjoy yourself.”  Hanna smiles half-heartedly.  “Well the game wasn’t my favorite but you know I like hanging out with you and Shaw.  But, seriously, if I never have to spend time with Harper again, I’d be delighted.”

“I’m not crazy about her either, but what happened there at the end?”

“The card ‘the gays’ was hers and her comment was directed to the card; like gays couldn’t get any worse with age.  I’m not sure if she was trying to be funny or just homophobic, but it pissed me off.  I don’t find those types of jokes funny.”

Root had still been caught up in her own thoughts and hadn’t really registered Harper’s comment.  “Don’t worry I won’t subject you to Harper again.  Listen why don’t Sameen and I come to your house tomorrow and we can play video games and actually have some fun?”

“Sounds good; text me.” 

 

* * *

 

Unlike Root, Sameen heard and understood Harper’s comment; she also saw the derogatory smile on her face.  “So Harper, are you just ignorant or actually homophobic?”  Carter subconsciously steps between the two girls. 

She’s not sure how Root or Sameen identify specifically, but obviously they’d have a problem with someone disparaging anyone falling under the general umbrella of gay.  Carter does too.  She doesn’t know Harper all that well; they have a couple of classes together and had gotten friendly.  If Carter had guessed she was so narrow-minded, she would’ve never befriended her, much less brought her over to Root and Shaw’s.

“Don’t be so sensitive Shaw,” Harper laughs.  Sameen steps toward her, clenching her fists.

“Shut up Harper,” Carter snaps.  “Let’s go.”  She gestures towards the steps waiting for Harper to precede her.  “I’m sorry Shaw.”  Shaw shrugs, trying to let go of her anger.  She knows Carter doesn’t share Harper’s apparent prejudices.  “I’ll see you Monday.”

 

* * *

 

Sameen finds Root stretched out on her bed staring at the ceiling.  She stretches out next to her.  “Well that was a disaster,” Sameen huffs.  Root looks over, lifting her eyebrows. “You think?”

“But forget them; what happened to you Root?”

“I drew a card.  Incest,” she whispers.

Shaw rolls her eyes and scowls.  “In what universe should that word be part of any game?  But why did it upset you so much?”

“What if people think…”  Root’s voice trails off, unable to finish the sentence.

“Root, we’re not related; legally or by blood.  Whatever’s going on between us is _not_ incest.  Besides, since when do we care about what other people think?”

“I don’t, but Harper’s behavior reminded me not everyone’s as open minded as maman and bâbâ.  What if they don’t…”

“Root, maman already knows.”

“What?! How? Did you tell her?”

“Calm down.  No; I wouldn’t even know what to say.  But she knows Root.  You think she didn’t notice us not speaking to each other for a week coincidentally when you went on a date with someone else, whose name I refuse to mention in our home?”

“I guess you’re right.  But Sameen, kids at school could start talking.”

“Root, it’s not like we’re walking around holding hands or kissing in public.  Most people don’t even know we live together.”

“Now there’s Harper…”

“You let me worry about Harper.”  Root smiles tenderly.  “Sam, you can’t go around beating people up.”

“Sure I can. I just can’t get caught.” Sameen smirks.

 

* * *

 

“Maman and bâbâ are waiting for us in the living room, Root.  Are you ready?”  Root nods nervously.

They sit on the couch together, but Sameen lets Root explain.

“I think I should become an emancipated minor.”  Root knows she doesn’t need to explain; Mah and Abbas know what it entails.  Mah glances at Abbas worriedly.  “Why Root?  Is something wrong; are you unhappy?”

“No! No,” Root rushes to explain.  “But my mother’s not going to give up and I’m worried she’ll try to get custody again.  A restraining order won’t stop her.”

Abbas clears his throat, signaling to Mah he’s going to try to field this one.  “Root, your mother’s parental rights were terminated; with her consent.  There’s no court in the world that’s going to reverse that determination.  I can’t say with 100% certainty, but I’m pretty sure there’s no legal way to do it.  She’d have to adopt you.  I know, after everything you’ve been through, it’s hard to trust; but there’s no way for her to take custody and we’re way beyond the point where she could kidnap you.  You’re not a little girl anymore and you’re not powerless.  We love you and we will keep you with us.”

Root looks down and inhales deeply.  “But it was Mary who was awarded custody.”

“Yes, but she legally signed over custody to us,” Mah reminds her, he voice hesitant.

“Maman, we know.”

“You know what nāzi?”

“About Zoe and the money and the fake court order.”  Mah inhales a sharp breath, although she guesses she shouldn’t be surprised.  “Root, the papers granting us custody are legal; even if we arrived there through less than scrupulous means.”

“But what if she comes forward and says you blackmailed her?  She might collude with my mother to regain custody.”

“Why would she do it Root?  There’s nothing in it for her.”

Root looks at Sameen guiltily, but Sameen looks at her confidently and then takes over the conversation.  “Root took the money you gave Mary; what was left of it anyway.”  Mah rests her chin in her hand thoughtfully.  “Why?”  Mah’s looking at Root, but Sameen answers.  “Because she extorted you!  It wasn’t her money.  She still had like $123,000.”

“Does she know it was you Root?”

“No.  She thinks her identity was stolen.”

Mah nods her head confidently.  “Okay.  This is what we’re going to do.  I’m going to call Zoe and have her find any and all physical evidence of the money transfer and court order and destroy them.  Root, you’re going to double check your theft can’t be tracked.  Abbas, you’re going to go to Harold and make sure there’s no digital trace of the fake court order.  Root where’s the money?”

“It’s in a bit coin account that moves daily.”

“That’ll be the backup plan.  If Mary tries to collude with your mother, we’ll offer her the money.  She took it the first time, she’ll take it again, of that I have no doubt.  Root, you’re not going anywhere unless it’s a last resort.  Agreed?”

Root looks at Sameen; she knows Sam doesn’t want her to leave.  But there’s the other thing.  “Okay, but if things change then I’m still going to consider it.”

“Fair enough.”

 

* * *

 

Sameen finds Mah in the kitchen late at night.  “Azizam, are you having trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah.  Maman I need to talk to you.”

“Of course Sameen; come sit down, I’ll make us some hot chocolate.”  Mah busies herself at the stove so Sameen doesn’t feel pressured.  “Root and I kissed.”  Mah turns and smiles gently, waiting for Sameen to continue.  When she doesn’t say anything else, Mah turns off the burner and prepares their drinks and joins Sameen at the table.  “How did you feel about it?”

“Uh, I liked it.  A lot.  But Root’s worried you’ll think it’s wrong.”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t think it’s wrong.  We’re not related or anything.”

“I don’t think its wrong either azizam; neither does bâbâ.  Do you want me to talk to Root about it?  Or maybe she can talk to Anwen?”

“No.  I’ll tell her and see if she wants to first.”  Sameen sounds relieved.

“Sameen, it’s natural for the two of you to explore this aspect of your relationship.  It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll end up staying together and that’s okay too.”  Sameen scrunches her eyebrows.  “But maman…what if I’m in love with Root?”

“Well Sameen, for it to work you both need to be in love.  I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you’re both way too young to know yet or to make a serious commitment.  Just…don’t put pressure on yourself to figure it out right away.  It’s okay to just enjoy your time together.  But either of you can always talk to me azizam.  Make sure Root remembers, okay?”  Sameen nods and gives her mother a quick hug.  They’re rare and Mah always treasures them.

When she goes back to her room, she finds Root in her bed.  “Root, why are you in my bed?”

“I heard you get up and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m good Root.  Everything’s okay.  I talked to maman.  She says its okay with her and bâbâ if we like each other…you know in a different way.  So you don’t have to worry.  She says you can talk to her or Anwen whenever you want.”

“Thanks, Sam.  I know it must’ve been hard for you.”

Sameen rolls her eyes, but a smile lurks at the corner of her lips.  “You know I’d do anything for you Root.”


	63. Shock and Awe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root worries about her mother's intentions and Sameen participates in her first track meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, Ravioli di Zucca is oven roasted butternut squash and parmesan filled ravioli, with prosecco cream sauce with prosciutto. The caprese antipasti consists of bufala mozzarella, vine ripened tomatoes, extra virgin olive oil, and fresh basil.

It’s been a couple of weeks since the restraining order was entered and Groves has not attempted to contact Root.  But her malevolence lingers like the scent of a heated soldering iron.  Her mother burned her life down once already and Root barely survived; she’s not sure she can sit passively by waiting for the acrid smell of smoke warning of an imminent inferno.

She feels weak and ashamed she still lets her mother have such power over her life and wonders if it’ll ever end, or if she’s doomed to have storm cloud Groves constantly casting a gloomy shadow on her happiness.

But she focuses on Harold’s algorithms and the computer club.  Sameen’s back on the track team and her first meet’s coming up.  Sometimes when Root feels particularly vulnerable she codes by the field and watches her train.

“Hey, you ready to go?”  Sameen spotted Root watching her practice and knows it means Root’s feeling emotionally exposed.  She’s not exactly sure what it feels like, but she knows it means Root needs to be with her and Sameen needs to ensure she doesn’t use her words carelessly.  Although she never wants to upset or offend Root, she normally doesn’t worry so much about her words because she knows Root understands what she means.  But on days like today she likes to do as much as she can to get Root out of her head.

“Sure sweetie, let me just power down.”  There’s no one anywhere near them so Sameen lets Root calling her sweetie slide.  “I texted maman and told her we were going to Bugatti’s.”

“She’s letting us skip dinner at home?”  Root asks suspiciously.

“Yeah.  I need to carbo-load for tomorrow’s meet and she already prepared a roast.”  It’s true, just not the whole truth.  Sameen told Mah Root was feeling out of sorts and only then did she readily agree; it’s Root’s favorite Italian restaurant.

 

* * *

 

They start with a caprese antipasti and Root orders the ravioli di zucca, while Sameen decides on the lasagna al forno.  The server lingers, her fingers lightly resting on Sameen’s shoulder while she makes her selection.  Sameen smirks when she walks away.  “You know you can’t actually set someone on fire with your eyes right?”

“Yeah well, I can try,” Root huffs and scrunches her nose in a way Sameen’s always found well…adorable if she used those types of words, which she does not.  “You did see me shrug her hand away right?”

“Of course, sweetie; but she does it every time we come here after school.  She should go get herself a job in public relations.”  Root’s eyebrows are furrowed and her lips cocked in a grim frown.  Sameen looks at her thoughtfully, “well being a server is a type of public relations.”  She tries to keep a straight face, but can’t help chuckling when Root glowers at her.  “Her uncle owns the place Root and she’s 16.  I don’t think she’s going anywhere anytime soon; so unless you want to pick another...”  Root just glares at her but Sameen sees the playful sparkle in her eyes.  “No, I’ll just keep working on my heat vision.”

“You can be my Supergirl anytime Root.”  Root’s blush creeps up her neck and when Sameen winks she swallows…hard.

 

* * *

 

Even Abbas took the afternoon off to be at Sameen’s meet.  He’s sitting in the stands with Mah, Root and Hanna.  Sameen, of course, looks embarrassed to have a private cheering section.  The bleachers are pretty full, but Hanna saved them seats in the first row.

The athletes are warming up, when Hanna does a double take and nudges Root discreetly.  Root looks over and spots Jules with one of the other teams.  She smirks even though Jules can’t see her; she has no doubt Sameen’s about to leave her in the dust both figuratively and literally.

‘Shaw – Up’  Sameen steps into the circle for her first throw in the shot put event and the minute timer starts its countdown.  She stands sideways at the back of the circle and places the shot put under her jaw, extending her left arm upwards and settling her weight on her back leg.  In a fluid motion she turns her hips and pushes forward, the power from her leg surging through her body as she pushes the shot put out into the sector, coming to rest right at the toe board.  The referee calls ‘mark’ and she exits the circle.  The throw measures out at just past 52 feet. 

Root’s taken it upon herself to learn everything about the shot put event.  The current female high school record is just under 57 feet.  But the average throw for ninth grade girls ranges in the mid to upper 20s.  Even highly ranked seniors across the country are throwing in the mid to high 40s.  Root can see the amazed looks on the coaches and even the referees’ faces.  So of course Root stands and screams her head off, “you’ve heard of shock and awe?  Well you just saw Shaw and Awe!  That’s right, Shaw and Awe, baby!”  Hanna hoots and hollers while Mah and Abbas clap along with everyone else from their school.  Sameen doesn’t glance their way, not wanting to claim the embarrassing cheering section, but Root can see the smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Sameen’s first awareness of Jules comes when the referee calls her name.  ‘Aaronson – Up’  Root’s watched Sameen practice constantly and even from her distance she can tell Jules’ overbalanced and will be lucky if she doesn’t land on her ass outside the circle, which will scratch her throw.  Root’s almost right.  She doesn’t spill out of the circle, but she steps on top of the tow board, which is just as invalidating.  Even if her throw counted, it was 29 ½ feet and no threat to Sameen.

There are twelve athletes competing with six going to the finals.  They each get three throws so it takes awhile to get through the preliminaries.  It takes so long, the two mile race is about to start and Sameen asks to be excused.  A couple of the other athletes competing are also running.  Those players finish their throws first and then line up for their other events.  No one’s come within 15 feet of Sameen’s longest throw so her spot in the finals is secured.

Sameen and Jules end up on the two outer lanes.  Sameen could care less which lane she’s assigned but she now has the distraction of staying safe from any payback Jules’ may have planned for the start of the race.  After the first turn she has no doubt Jules will be nowhere near her. 

The runners line up at the start line.  ‘On your marks’ A second later the loud bang of the starter pistol shatters the air.  A few more seconds into the race Sameen realizes Jules will be no competition.  She just took out like a bat out of hell and now she’ll have to try to hold the same breakneck pace for the rest of the race.  Short of lightening striking every other runner, she’s already lost.

Sameen has run all summer and even when she was grounded Mah let her run.  She worked on speed development and most recently on speed work.  She paces herself.  She knows what her time should be at every lap.  It takes discipline to stick to your strategy when you know you have the burst of speed whispering in your ear like a Tasmanian devil to just gogogogogogo.  But she checks her time and finds she’s a little faster than her ideal pace, but she’s not a saint.  She’s starting to steadily pass people by lap six.  As she approaches Jules she feels a slight nudge against her right foot.  It wasn’t blatant and not enough to cause her to fall, but she tripped and almost ate the track as she pin wheeled to stay upright.  It costs her a couple of seconds but it wasn’t enough for anyone to beat her.  This is where her speed work pays off; right here, right now.  Yard by yard she blows past the few competitors left.  When she crosses the finish line the closest runner is still making the turn into the eighth lap.  Root’s virtually certain Sameen’s time of 8:45:06 just set a high school record for girls. 

Root performs a reprise and by now they have real cheerleaders hyping the crowd. “You’ve heard of shock and awe?  Well you just saw Shaw and Awe!  That’s right, Shaw and Awe, baby!”  Shaw’s being congratulated by her coaches, and even by some of the other schools that may have poaching ideas blooming.  But Sameen needs to finish the shot put finals.

As she walks over to the shot put circle, she sees the track coaches conferring with some of the parents who appear to be playing them a video.  Sameen ignores it and in the end the shot put final ends with a whimper and not a bang.  Sameen’s longest throw marks at 57 feet and she fouls her last throw.  There’s no point risking injury when she knows no one in this group can come close to threaten her win.

She takes first place in both events and her family and friends, including Carter minus Harper, inundate her with congratulations.  As they’re starting to head to the parking lot, Sameen’s track coach calls out for them.  They wait and look at Sameen with questions, but she waits for coach.  “Aaronson was disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct for interfering with your run and will be suspended for one meet.  One of the parents caught it on tape clear as day.  What I want to know is why you didn’t say anything?”  Sameen shrugs her shoulders.  “She didn’t succeed in knocking me down and I won the race.  Someone with such little respect for the sport eventually gets caught out.”

“That may be Sameen, but the next time she tries it may not be on you and some other girl may get hurt.  It’s not just about the win; it about the health of the athletes and their ability to compete in a safe and respectful environment.  Next time I expect to hear it from you if it happens.  Understood?”

Sameen nods and sighs.  She’s exhausted and wants food, shower, and bed.  Root’s not going to push her now but they are going to have a little talk about the incident.  Root agrees with the coach although she understands Sameen’s attitude; they’ve had their fill of problems.

“Hey Sam how’d you like my slogan?!”  Root asks excitedly.  “Well, not the worst pun I’ve ever heard,” Shaw concedes as she rolls her eyes.

“Good, because Roxanne, the head librarian, is going to make us laminated signs with the school name, the slogan, and your number.  Isn’t that great?!”  Root can’t control her exuberance.  “Yes, Root.  It’s fantastic people I don’t even know will feel entitled to come talk to me because they held a sign with my name on it,” she says as sardonically as she's able.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s exhausted but she’s finding it hard to fall asleep.  She thinks about the meet and Root playing a fool in the stands.  Before she gets too lost in her thoughts, Root’s plopping onto her bed, stretching out next to her.  “I heard you thinking all the way in my room,” Root proclaims, a smile dangling at the corner of her lips.  “More like you were stalking me,” Sameen smirks.

“You were amazing today Sam,” Root gushes, but then adopts a somber look.  Sameen rolls her eyes and sighs, “I don’t want to hear it Root.”

“She could’ve hurt you…”  Sameen knows Root’s not going to let it go.  But maybe…Root’s propped on her right hand and Sameen turns to face her. 

She bites her lower lip and sinks into Root’s gaze.  Root’s words come to a stuttering halt as Sameen balls her fist in Root’s t-shirt and pulls her forward.  She presses her mouth against Root’s, savoring the warmth of her lips and Root’s eyes flutter shut; the world ceases to exist beyond the smell of Root’s shampoo and the sound of her heart beating steadily in her chest.  Sameen revels in the feel of silky flesh beneath her fingers, the sound of the quiet sighs she elicits from Root, the electricity that seems to crackle between them with every touch, every hitch of breath.

They eventually draw apart reluctantly.  Sameen’s body’s on fire and Root’s liquid heat pools between her legs, but they both know they’re not ready for more.  Root rests her forehead on Shaw’s for a second before standing on wobbly legs.  “Goodnight Sameen.”

“Goodnight Root.”

Sameen hears Root’s lamp click off and then bursts out laughing at Root’s words.  “You distracted me pretty effectively, but we’ll be talking about it tomorrow Sameen.” 


	64. Why Can't I Forget? or If Deliberate Amnesia Were A Thing, Root Would Totally Go For it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root meets with her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, angst ahead!
> 
> Thanks to MJ as always for giving me the idea to use Grove's narcissism for motivation and hashing it out with me.
> 
> Let me know what you think...how should the family deal with Groves? Could she have another motive for wanting Root back with her? What would it be? Should Root push for emancipation?

Root’s looking forward to the long Thanksgiving weekend.  She still has no particular fondness for the holiday, but everything’s settled down and she hasn’t heard from her mother again.  She’s closer than ever with Sameen and they’re finally starting to enjoy high school.  Her birthday’s also around the corner and everyone always makes it a special day.  

She should’ve known it was the precursor to Armageddon. 

She’s exchanging emails with Harold about selling their game app when an alert pops up on her screen.  Mary Bryer just booked a flight.  She hacks the airline’s network and cancels it, planting a quickly coded worm to prevent her from booking a flight anytime soon, but it’s just a stop-gap measure. 

 

//Sam, I need you to come home.//

//omw//

 

Sameen knows Root wouldn’t send this type of text unless it’s important, so she cuts her run short and heads back to the house.

 

* * *

 

She finds Root in the basement, fingers flying across the keyboard, her face scrunched in concentration.  She chugs her water bottle dry while she waits for Root to finish.  When Root finally looks up, Sameen’s a bit startled by the look in her eyes.  It’s hard and cold and dangerous.  “What’s going on Root?”

“Mary just booked a flight here.  I cancelled it and planted a worm, but if she goes in person to the airport she’ll be able to buy a ticket.”  Sameen knows Root set several safeguards in place years ago so she’d be alerted to any online activity regarding certain people.  She monitors and updates periodically to make sure she keeps up with the technology.

Sameen doesn’t hesitate.  “We need to tell maman and bâbâ.” 

“In a minute, but we also need to figure out their scheme.  I’m not sitting around waiting for them to launch their next attack on my life.”  Sameen’s eyes narrow and take on a steely glint.  “We will.  But we’re doing it together.  Promise me.”   Root looks at her calmly but the muscles near her jaw line are twitching and the tendon stands out prominently.  “Sameen, I will do whatever it takes.  I can’t promise I’ll drag you there with me.”

Sameen’s eyes tighten and her voice deepens with an emotion Root can’t quite identify.  “So everything you’ve ever said about us is a lie,” she bites out.  Root’s eyes soften.  “Of course not Sameen.  But part of protecting me means protecting you.  Tell me you wouldn’t do the same.”

Sameen grinds her teeth, pulse speeding, heartbeat pounding wildly in her chest; but she responds in a carefully controlled tone.  “I. Would. Trust. You.”

Root sets aside her laptop; she stands close enough to touch Sameen, but doesn’t reach out.  “Sam, isn’t part of trust having faith I’ll do the right thing, even if it means keeping you in the dark?”

Sameen wants to storm off and vent her anger, but through the pounding in her head and the blood rushing in her ears she listens to the voice telling her this is probably the most important conversation they’ve ever had and walking away is not an option.  So she takes a deep breath instead and sets her jaw, trapping Root’s eyes with her own. 

“Don’t be stupid Root.  Trust means you believe I have your back without doubt.  It means we work together; us against them remember?!  Always.  It _means_ no secrets.”  Root takes a step closer, reaching out and Sameen tenses.  “Don’t touch me.  Not unless you intend to trust me completely; not just when it’s easy.”

They stand for an interminable time looking into each other’s eyes.  Sameen doesn’t flinch and Root looks away first, sighing deeply.  Sameen starts to walk away before she says something she’ll regret, but Root steps in her way, wrapping her arms around Sameen’s waist and resting their foreheads against each other.  “I give you my word Sam.  No secrets.”

Sameen makes a concerted effort to relax her muscles.  Only Root can touch her when she’s this furious and still stand unscathed.  Instead, Sameen pulls her in deliberately and claims her lips possessively.   

 

* * *

 

“I have an algorithm running right now looking for any trace of communication between Mary and my mother.  But if they met in person or communicated in writing, I’m not going to find anything.”  After her talk…and a rather long make out session…with Sameen, Root’s calmer talking to maman and bâbâ.  Neither one looks worried, but Root thinks they should be; so does Sameen.  Past performance is the best indicator of future results.

“Nāzi, Zoe assured me there’s no copy of the court order left and I trust Harold when he says he left no digital footprint.  You’ve made sure there’re no records of the money transfers from us to Mary, so even if she tries to file something in your guardianship case, there’s nothing she can do.”  But neither Root nor Sameen believe it.

“I’m going to go talk to her,” Root informs them.

Mah looks confused for a second.  “Your mother?  Absolutely not.”  She looks at Abbas, who agrees vehemently.

“If I don’t find anything it’s the only way to figure out what’s going on.  I’m sorry maman but I have to do something; trusting the system has never worked well for me.”   It’s not like Mah and Abbas can dispute it.

“Root the restraining order works both ways.  You’d be violating it if you go near her.”

Sameen’s been listening to Root and her parents go back and forth, but steps in when Root looks at her pleadingly.  “Maman, Root’s mother isn’t going to call the cops; she _wants_ to talk to her.  If we can’t find anything else you need to let Root go.  What if you’re wrong?”  No one answers the question because they’ll never forget the consequences they’ve already paid.

Mah and Abbas communicate wordlessly.  “Okay nāzi; but you’re meeting her in a public place.  She left a phone number with her letter, right?”  Sameen nods, since she’s the only who read it.  Although Root said they should burn it, she never brought it up and Sameen didn't want to remind her; it's still in her desk.  “We’ll give it until Friday morning.”

Root and Sameen don’t even need to look at each other; it’s too long to wait.  “Maman, tomorrow’s Thanksgiving.  It’s a perfect excuse for Root to say she changed her mind.  The mall’s open until 6pm; they can meet at the food court.”  In the end Root and Sameen persuade Mah and Abbas.

 

* * *

 

As Root expected, she didn’t uncover any trace of communication between her mother and Mary.  Mary barely uses her computer and Root has no ip address for her mother; she may not even have a computer.  Root would have to be close to her apartment to hack any wi-fi and that Sameen absolutely refuses to let her do; Root’s not going near her mother’s apartment.

“Hello,” a saccharine sweet voice answers.

Root suspects it’s for her benefit since she has no doubt her mother looked at the caller id before answering.  “Hi…it’s Root…”

“Samantha, I’m so glad you called.”

Root wishes she felt nothing, but even now the sound of her mother’s voice makes her feel powerless.  “Yeah, well its Thanksgiving, so I thought we could um…talk.”

“I would love to see you Samantha; why don’t you come over?”  Sameen called it; she said Groves would immediately want Root on her home turf.  “Uh I can’t; it’s too far to bike and I’m not telling Mah and Abbas.  But we can meet at the mall if you want?”  They all know Groves won’t resist the chance to speak with Root outside any sphere of influence.  “That would be lovely dear.”  Ugh.  Root feels sick.  It’s so disconcerting to hear her mother be so polite and nice; but a small voice in the back of her mind wonders if maybe...no, she’s not letting herself even think her mother could be redeemed.

Mah and Abbas refuse to let Root go alone to the mall, although there’s no doubt Sameen would go with her, no matter what her parents said.  So they compromise; Mah and Abbas will wait in the car in the parking lot and Sameen will be nearby in the bookstore where she can keep an eye on Root.  Mah and Abbas only agreed because short of knocking Sameen unconscious she wouldn’t let Root go alone, even though it’s a crowded mall with plenty of people around.  Groves is hardly the type to take her at gunpoint; but Sameen knows Groves has a much more powerful weapon.

Guilt.  Root spent the first six years of her life with Groves and then the next five in a psychiatric hospital.  Down deep, Sameen knows Root still struggles with believing she deserves to be loved and happy.  She lived her formative years in a state of psychological whiplash.  Her mother controlled her with rage and abuse and then she lived in a state of benign neglect at the hospital.  Sameen’s not going to underestimate Groves’ gravitational pull.

 

* * *

 

Root’s sitting at a table with a bottle of water.  She’s only been waiting a few minutes, but she has to fight the urge to flee.  Suddenly she’s reliving the years with her mother and wants to throw up.  ‘you’re bad, you do everything wrong, no one’s ever going to love you except me’  She _feels_ it; worthless, bad, _wrong_.  She remembers trying to make herself smaller, because maybe if her mother didn’t notice her, she wouldn’t hurt her.  She learned not to ask for food or toys; she learned not to cry no matter how much it hurt.  It was the only thing she could control; her tears.  Sometimes she _wanted_ the punishment so she could feel something was hers; so she could keep her tears to herself.     

She looks up and sees Sameen start towards her, clearly recognizing the panic on her face.  But Root nods no and takes a deep breath, eyes locked on Sameen.  Looking at Sameen reminds her she’s not bad or wrong and she has a family and friends; people who _know_ how to love.  People who love _her_ unconditionally.  So when she sees her mother walking towards her, she repeats Sameen’s name in her mind like a mantra.  She needs to face her mother to protect her _real_ family.

Groves doesn’t make the mistake of trying to hug or kiss Root; she just slides into the seat in front of her.  Root studies her; they share the same lanky frame and clear brown eyes.  It disgusts Root; the similarities.  The echo of this stranger’s face she sees in the mirror every day. 

“Sam, I’ve missed you so much.”  It feels strange hearing her mother call her Sam.  No one’s ever called her Sam except her mother.  Just hearing the name makes her feel like hiding.

Root puts on a semi-pleasant smile; she doesn’t imagine her mother would buy a ‘suddenly happy to see her’ daughter anyway.  But Root can’t think of a single thing to say; almost like she’s frozen and trying to transport herself somewhere, _anywhere_ , else.  She makes a concerted effort to bring herself back to the moment.  She knows she missed part of her mother’s words, but hears her say “I’ve wanted to see you for a long time.”

Root clears her throat.  “Why?”  It’s really the only question Root wants answered.

Her mother looks at her adoringly.  Root searches her face for the lie she knows is there, but can’t find it.  “You’re my daughter Sam.  I loved you from the day you were born.  I loved you first and I will always love you most.”  Still Root searches for signs of the farce she knows her mother’s playing.  But there’s nothing but regret in her mother’s eyes.

“You’re not my mother anymore,” Root whispers. 

“A piece of paper will never change the fact I gave birth to you; I will always be your mother,” her mother says earnestly.  

Root thinks about conversations with Mah about adoption and the reasons Root refused.  She never considered Mah her mother; she didn’t _want_ a replacement mother.  In Root’s mind _mother_ stands for someone who hurts you, leaves you hungry and scared.  When she calls Mah maman, she doesn’t think of her _mother_.  She thinks of how Mah gave her the nickname nāzi and hugs her and makes sure she eats.  She thinks about smiles, and kindness, and laughter.

“I know I hurt you Sam, but I want to make it up to you.  I was sick in ways you don’t understand, but I took care of you.  I changed your diapers and fed you and I kept you with me even when it was hard.  I didn’t give you up or leave you.”  Root can tell there’s something else on the tip of her mother’s tongue, but whatever it is she doesn’t say it.

Root’s ribs feel too tight and there’s heaviness in her stomach.  “So how…how do you want to make it up to me?”

Her mother reaches across the table to hold Root’s hands and Root visibly flinches.  Groves leans back with a sad smile.  “I’d like you to think about coming to live with me.”  Root’s hands tremble slightly and she deflects the question.  Because really; what’s she supposed to say?  ‘Sameen will kill you with her bare hands first?  Not in this lifetime?  Over my dead body?’ 

“I’m turning 15 in a week.”  Her mother’s eyes tear and she nods softly.  “I know.”  She opens her handbag and takes out a small box with a bow, setting it on the table between them.  “Go ahead, open it.”  Root almost recoils; she's nauseous and doesn’t want to touch it, doesn’t want to get sucked into her mother’s vortex.  Accepting it feels like defeat and leaves an acrid taste in her mouth.  But her hands automatically respond to the authority in her mother’s tone.

Inside the box is a silver locket and when she opens it there’s a lock of hair and a picture of her mother.  “It’s from the first time I cut your hair,” her mother announces like she’s accepting a gold medal at the Olympics.  Root idly wonders if they can have the dna tested because there’s no way her mother kept a lock of her hair. 

“Go ahead, put it on; I’m sure it will look perfect on you,” her mother encourages affectionately.  But Root’s reached her limit and she’s halfway out of her chair before Groves can react.  “Uh, I really have to go.  If I’m gone too long, they’ll start calling.”  Her mother stands quickly with understanding in her eyes.  “I really enjoyed our time.  Just think about what I said, okay?”  Root nods numbly and watches her mother leave until she’s out of sight.

Sameen’s immediately at her side and Root wonders if she’d moved to a nearby table while she talked to her mother. She thrusts the box in Sameen’s hand like its hot coal.  In her eyes Root sees protection and reassurance and home.  “I want to go home.” 

They hold hands as they walk.

Mah’s leaning on the car waiting.  The second she sees Root she wraps her in tight hug, placing a kiss on her head.  “I love you nāzi; you’re safe.”  She holds Root until Root pulls away gently with a sigh and a small smile.

 

* * *

 

Root goes directly to the basement and curls up on the couch, pulling down the quilt to cover her trembling body; she’s cold.  Sameen brings her hot chocolate and sits on the end of the couch keeping her company.  She doesn’t ask any questions; she’s comfortable in the silence.  She’ll think of all the ways she will kill Root’s mother.

After a long while Root sits up, bunching the quilt over her knees and taking a deep breath.  She scoots closer to Sameen and leans her head on her shoulder.  “I’m okay now Sameen.  I didn’t think…before… about how I would feel talking to her again; being so close to her.  I was bombarded by images, sounds, and smells _in my head_.  I _felt_ the sensations in my body…like a record on an old record player when the song ends and the needle’s stuck in the last groove, scratching over and over.  I hate that I still remember.  I thought with time they’d fade and I’d be free.  Why can’t I forget?”

Sameen thinks for a moment.  “I think she left a gash in your consciousness; the pain is grooved into your brain.  The memories are etched in your heart.  It’s like the record; it needs the needle to play the song.”

She shifts slightly so she can look into Root’s insecure eyes.  “You’re safe with me Root.  You can always talk to me.  I don’t always know what to say or feel what you feel, but I can listen.” 

They sit in the comfortable silence, until Sameen breaks it wistfully.  “The day we met, well the day you stalked me really.”  Root pinches her side playfully but can’t really disagree.  “I knew you were the most interesting person I’d ever met.  Then you slipped inside my walls and it was like you’d always been there.  You _got_ me.”

Root cuddles into Sameen until she’s on her lap and tucks her head under her chin.  “You _saved_ me.”          


	65. Sense & Sensibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meaningful conversations, Shaw protects Root from herself, and they celebrate Root's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love my late night chapters! As usual proofreading tomorrow.
> 
> This one starts with the continuation of Root and Sameen's basement conversation in the aftermath of Root's meeting with Groves.
> 
> There is angst of the bad and good kind, but I tried to balance it with a bit of levity.
> 
> Just as an FYI, for the sake of plot continuity I tweaked a couple relevant sections to clarify Root and Sameen never got around to burning Groves' letter and Sameen kept it. Also, purely on a whim I added a new thought after Groves asks Root to live with her.
> 
> Because really; what’s she supposed to say? ‘Sameen will kill you with her bare hands first?'
> 
> Finally, I just wanted to add a note that I firmly believe canon supports Sense and Sensibility as Root's favorite book. She discussed it with Finch so often, she set 'dashwood' as the password in '.exe'

“The creepiest part of the whole conversation was how absolutely caring she seemed.  Her voice was in turns sad or happy or wistful with matching facial expressions.  If I didn’t know her, I would’ve felt empathetic for her loss and I would’ve fallen for her earnest declaration of love.”

Sameen wrinkles her brows and runs a jerky hand through her hair.  “Root, you know it’s all lies, right?”

“Of course sweetie.”  But it takes Root a few seconds to answer and a kernel of worry starts to grow in Sameen’s mind.

“I tried to spot the lies on her face or in her smiles, but she seemed relaxed and her smiles were mirrored in her eyes.”  Root falls silent and stares off into space and the kernel of worry pops.

Sameen gently moves Root off her.  “I’ll be right back.”  She’s back in less than a minute, but walks down the stairs hesitantly.  She doesn’t know if she’s doing the right thing, but she’s going to hold onto Root with a vise grip.  If she has to quash Root’s every hope for her mother’s redemption to remind her who Groves is, _what_ she is, then so be it.

She sits cross-legged next to Root on the couch, handing her the letter.  “I know I said you shouldn’t read it, but I think you need to now.  Your mother will never accept responsibility for your abuse; she’s incapable of change.  She’s the star in her own burlesque and you’re the captive audience, trapped by guilt and doubt.  I am not letting you buy a ticket.” 

> I am sorry if you feel I failed you and fell short and I could not live up to whatever expectations you placed on me.  I am sorry if you suffered from my illness, but it wasn’t my fault; I was sick.  You were also not the easiest child, but I did my best.  I think it’s time to put the past behind us and be the mother and daughter we would’ve been if you hadn’t been taken from me.

Root’s tears start slowly and silently until they’re gushing and she’s sobbing.  Sameen hates herself for causing Root so much pain, even if indirectly.  She uses her strength to lift Root onto her lap again so she’s cradling her.  She feels inadequate; if she could take Root’s pain and suffer in her place she’d do it in a heartbeat.

Eventually Root has no more tears to shed and she drifts off into an exhausted sleep; Sameen’s heartbeat steady under her hand.  Sameen leans back against the arm rest of the couch but otherwise lets Root sleep in her arms the way they used to when they were younger and Root was afraid and plagued by nightmares caused by the very woman she’s trying so desperately to believe in now.

Mah finds them a little while later, but Sameen shakes her head and she doesn’t wake Root, gently pulling the quilt over them.

 

* * *

 

Root wakes groggily a couple of hours later, momentarily disoriented.  Sameen relaxes her hold and when Root realizes she’s still on Sameen’s lap she crawls off.  “Sam, you should’ve woken me.  You’re contorted like a pretzel.”  Sameen stands and stretches, shrugging her shoulders.  “I didn’t have any pressing engagements.”  Root, not for the first time, marvels at how Sameen cares for her so effortlessly, without expectations, making Root feel…deserving and essential; like she’s seen and she matters. 

She flashes Sameen’s smile, and Sameen breathes an internal sigh of relief. 

Root also realizes the tears gave her a cathartic release from the confusion ravaging her mind after talking with her mother and breathes her own sigh of relief.  “Thanks for showing me the letter; you were right.  I needed to see it.”

“I’m sorry Root.”

“Don’t apologize; you gave me what I needed, even when you knew it’d hurt.  I know it wasn’t easy for you.  It’s me who should apologize for drenching your shirt,” she teases, immediately lightening the tension in the room and the discomfort on Sameen’s face.

“Yeah, don’t worry; you’re the one who’s going to wash it…by hand.”

Sameen figures they’re going to table the discussion on Groves, given what a hard day she’s had, but Root seems ready to confront the problem.  Sameen thinks it’s a way for Root to take control and not feel powerless yet again at her mother’s whim.

“I keep asking myself why my mother would need Mary.  She stuck me in a hospital the minute she got custody, what does she stand to gain; extortion?  By now they have to know there’s no proof of anything; not the bank transfer or the court order, and she has no reason to suspect we’re capable of stealing her identity.  As far as I know, they don’t even know I’m a computer prodigy.”

“Humble too,” Sameen deadpans.  Root rolls her eyes, a mirror image of Sameen’s signature look.

“Unless they’re going to try to use the absence of a court order to argue maman had no legal right to have me discharged.  But they’d still have to prove I belong in a hospital now.It just seems so convoluted.”

Sameen agrees, but there has to be something they’re missing.  “Root, why don’t we have the DNA for the lock of hair tested?  We know it’s not yours; so whose is it?  Why would your mother give it to you?” 

But Mah calls them to Thanksgiving dinner, ending the conversation for now.

 

* * *

 

Sameen wakes Root, but in honor of her birthday does not throw anything at her head.  She uses a strand of Root’s hair to tickle her lips.  Root wiggles a little in her sleep.  Sameen does it again, trying to keep from laughing, and Root paws sleepily at her face.  By the third time Root opens her eyes and blinks, finding Sameen’s face only an inch from her own.  Sameen thought it’d startle Root and be really funny.  But instead Root yanks her down, collecting her first kiss of the day.

“Ouch Root!  You almost split my lip!”

“Maybe next time you’ll reconsider waking me up at some ungodly hour on my birthday by trying to laugh at my expense,” she utters self-righteously.

“It’s 11am!”

“It’s Saturday Sameen!  You know I usually sleep until 1pm on Saturdays,” she grumbles.  Sameen gives her a rare puppy dog look.  “Cute…,” Root can’t help but admitting.  “But this better be good.”

“Come on I made you breakfast.” Root gets up to follow her but Sameen doesn’t move.  “Put on some pants pervert; you can’t have breakfast in your underwear.”  Not that Sameen would necessarily mind, but Mah or Abbas would not be amused.

Sameen opens the kitchen door with a flourish.  “I made your favorite omelet, apple pancakes, and bacon.”

“Where are the rest of the guests,” Root deadpans as she looks at enough food for ten.

“Funny,” Shaw scowls.

When they’re done eating Sameen pushes Root back to her room.  “If you’re going to be manhandling me all day I’m going back to sleep!”

“Come on you big baby, maman and bâbâ are waiting for us in the living room to give you your gifts.  You need to get dressed.”  When Root goes into the bathroom, Sameen ducks into her room and grabs a gift she wants to give Root in private.  She makes Root’s bed and places the rectangular box in the middle.

When Root comes back to her bedroom, she sees the box and looks over at Sameen puzzled, but her eyes shine with excitement.

“I wanted you to open this one now…not in front of maman and bâbâ,” Sameen says almost shyly.  Root’s mind races; there’s no way Sameen bought her lingerie, right?  Or something equally intimate?  No; not possible.  But she unwraps the box nervously anyway.

It’s a custom leather sketchbook, simple but elegant; the color of sunlight filtering through a window.  The cover’s engraved with a phrase.  ‘Don’t be stupid.’

She looks at Sameen with watery eyes, “Sameen…”

“Open it.”

Each page contains a sketch by Sameen of things they’ve done together.  Not special occasions or events, well except for one; just pictures of their life together over the last five years.  Riding their bikes, sitting in class, watching movies, Root coding while Sameen works out, the range, getting ice-cream, and even the disastrous dance because it depicts their first kiss.  Root knows it will be her favorite; Sameen managed to catch their desire and fear and the desperation she remembers feeling…of just absolute _wanting_ , her fingers threaded through the loops of Sameen’s jeans.

Each sketch contains the date of the moment depicted and a brief note reminding Root of the specific day.  ‘This is the day you rode your bike into the stop sign.’  It doesn’t elaborate, but Root immediately remembers why she failed to see the metal pole with the bright red sign; she was staring at Sameen’s ass as she rode next to her.  ‘This is the day of the Matrix movie marathon.’  How could Root forget?  Not only did they watch all three movies, they then stayed awake until 3am debating pseudo-psychology and the nature of reality.  The one of their kiss just bears the date.  Root doubts either one of them will ever forget.

She closes the book softly and lays it gently on her desk.  “Sam…you must’ve worked on this for a long time…”  Sameen shrugs her shoulders self-deprecatingly, but her eyes immutably convey her unconditional acceptance and trust, along with a promise of home.  Root feels the gift would be cheapened by any words she could say in response, but she gives Sameen a lingering kiss, soft and chaste, that she hopes will explain just how much this gift means.

They take a moment to regain their equilibrium and join Mah and Abbas in the living room. 

 

* * *

 

Mah immediately inundates Root with hugs and kisses.  She finally lets Abbas get a hug in and then he clears his throat.  “I think Sameen inherited my suspicion of words.”  They all smile because it’s easy to see.  Abbas expresses all the important things with his actions.  “I hope you know we are your family for life.  Mah and I feel incredibly privileged and grateful to have you in our lives; this is your home.  We love you and we will always strive to make sure you feel it.”

Root can’t stop the tears this time.  “I know and I feel it every day.”  Her breath hitches and Mah jumps up before she feels the need to say anything else. 

“Okay, enough of the mushy stuff.”  She hands Root a card.  Inside are two tickets to next year’s International Joint Conference on Artificial Intelligence.  Root screeches and jumps up while Sameen rolls her eyes.  She turns to Sameen and smirks.  “It’s in Melbourne, Australia.”   Not _that's_ something Sameen can get behind.

Mah laughs while shaking her head at their antics.  “We’re all going on the trip, of course; but if Sameen doesn’t want to join you at the conference itself, bâbâ will.”  More than any of them, Abbas has always strived to at least be able to understand Root’s skills and her world in computers; he would happily attend the conference.  Sameen scoffs.  The odds of Root not finding a way to con her into attending are slim to none.  But she’ll worry about it next year.

“Okay, okay we get it.  It’s the best gift since Prometheus stole fire from the gods.”  She’s wrong in a way.  Root considers Sameen’s gift the most significant since Charles Babbage invented computers, which she'd take over fire any day. 

Root’s surprised when Sameen hands her another gift.  There's also a third gift Sameen's not telling her about unless it becomes a matter of life or death.  She turned off and hid Root's phone.  No way she's letting Groves' ruin her birthday.  Carter and Hanna are coming over later so no one else would be calling with birthday wishes anyway.   

It’s Root’s favorite book, Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen.  “Don’t get excited, it’s not a first edition or anything, but it is unabridged and illustrated.”  Root ignores her comment with an exasperated smile.  Inside it’s dedicated. ‘It only took us seven seconds.-Sameen’  It’s a reference to one of Root’s favorite passages.   

> It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.


	66. Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root finds the perfect gift for Sameen's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI, there's an 'explicit' scene where Root and Shaw make-out. It's a little hot and heavy, but be reassured all they do is kiss.
> 
> It starts with the rest of Root's birthday and ends on Sameen's birthday.
> 
> I haven't proofread yet, so there may be some grammatical mistakes.

Sameen practically trips down the stairs when she hears Root’s shout.  “Ouch!”  Quickly followed by a growl.  “Sameen, why is there a dart on the couch?”  Her eyebrows are scrunched above pursed lips.

Sameen winces and wonders if she can escape the basement, unconsciously taking a step back.  “Well, actually it’s your fault,” she decides.

“Oh? Just how do you figure that,” she asks playfully-sarcastic. 

“Well, I was bored waiting for you to wake up this morning so I played darts.  Then maman called me and I just put it on the couch and I forgot to put it back.”

“Try again Sameen.  The dart board’s on the other side of the room.  Why were you sitting on the couch with a dart?”

Sameen rolls her eyes.  “Fine!  My throw was way off and the dart bounced on the edge of the board and ricocheted and I couldn’t find where it went.  Happy now?” 

“Yes, completely.  So what’s next on my birthday agenda?” She asks cheekily. 

“Carter and Hanna are coming over to take you to lunch at a locale of your choosing.”  Root frowns.  “You’re coming too right?”

“What?  Of course I’m coming.  Don’t be stupid,” accompanied by another eye roll. 

“Then what?”

“Carter and Hanna know to make themselves scarce after lunch unless you want them to hang with us; up to you, I’m fine either way.”  Root can’t help the goofy grin, “ah that’s so sweet Sameen.”  Sameen wonders how many times she’ll have to roll her eyes today.

“We can do whatever you want for the rest of the day after lunch, but I did find a couple of things we’ve never done in case you want to do something different.  The first is Roller Derby.  I never knew, but evidently teams actually travel across the country to compete.  The Miami Vice City Rollers are playing today at 3pm. 

The other one is a retro throwback laser light show at the Planetarium.  They’re fusing with Daft Punk’s music.  The shows start at 8pm and they have them every hour on the hour, with the last show starting at midnight.  I already cleared it with maman and bâbâ so we can stay out late if you want to go to a later show.  They agreed we could Uber today as long as we text them throughout the night so they know we’re okay.

Or we can do anything else you want,” Sameen finishes, sounding a little unsure if Root liked her ideas or not.

Root really wants to gush and get sentimental about how much thought and effort Sameen put into her birthday.  She does every year, but this year she’s really outdone herself.  She’ll sneak it in somewhere today when Sameen’s not as likely to get uncomfortable, like when she’s eating.

“I love it Sam!  Let’s do roller derby with Hanna and Carter after lunch, and then you and I can go to the boardwalk, walk around, eat when we’re hungry and then catch whichever show at the planetarium.”

Sameen sits on the couch and Root gets up, starting up the stairs.  “Where’re you going?”  Root doesn’t answer, but Sameen hears the basement door closing and the sounds of Root’s footsteps coming back.

“I wanted the door closed.”  Sameen scrunches her eyebrows.  They usually close the door so the music or television doesn’t filter through the house; maybe Root wants to play some music.

“There’s something I really want you haven’t gotten me for my birthday,” she explains in a pouty voice.  Sameen racks her brain; she really thought she’d covered everything.  She should’ve known she’d miss something.  She’s thinking so hard it startles her when Root straddles her lap.  Oh! She actually had thought of this but she was waiting for the planetarium.  But now’s okay too she decides.

She’s distracted by the way Root’s lips glisten in the dim light of the basement and she pulls Root down slowly until their mouths press together, moving her lips softly against Root’s.  She tastes Root’s raspberry lip gloss and lets her tongue slip into Root’s mouth and play with hers for a moment before pulling back with a teasing bite to Root’s lower lip.  Root’s smiles up at her through her lashes, licking Sameen’s bite and Sameen’s mesmerized... it’s _hot_.

Root comes back for more and the next kiss is urgent; Sameen grips Root’s waist, pulling her closer.  But it’s not close enough and she twists sideways until their bodies are pressed tightly together. Root’s moan sends lightning streaking down her spine, settling low in her belly and she runs her hands lightly down Root’s torso, careful not to touch her breasts, but Root’s breath hitches anyway and she feels her nipples harden, not helped by the friction their clothes create.

They pull apart panting; both knowing they need to stop.  Root lies on Sameen, listening to her heartbeat, and Sameen wraps her arms loosely around her waist.  When they can breathe again Root sits back on her knees, allowing Sameen to sit up.  Root touches her lips in wonder and Sameen can’t help staring at her kiss-swollen mouth.

“Sam, that was incredible…”

Sameen smirks.  “I aim to please.” 

 

* * *

  

Root decides to ignore the Groves situation until after the holidays and Sameen’s birthday; she’s not going to let her cast a shadow over their celebrations.  Mah and Abbas aren’t religious so they’re not celebrating any particular holiday, but Abbas takes a week off and they spend it doing things as a family and volunteering; it’s become their tradition. 

 

* * *

 

Sameen knows something’s up because Root and Mah have been conspiring when they think she’s not around; whispers and Root’s giggles.  Sameen doesn’t want to ruin their fun so she pretends not to notice; it’s obvious it’s related to Sameen’s birthday.  She’ll find out tomorrow anyway.

Hot, wet, thick water drips down Sameen’s cheek and a rough washcloth rub’s her face.  In that nebulous state between sleep and wakefulness she wonders if she’s feverish.  But then a heavy weight bounces on her stomach and she shoots up, prepared to push Root off her.  But it’s not Root.  It’s a magnificent sheppard dog, now currently nudging her hand for petting.  She scratches behind his ear and he rests his head on her lap.  Mah, Abbas, and Root are standing in the doorway.  “Is this…” she starts to ask because she’s hoping she’s right and the dog gets to stay. 

“Yes, sweetie.  It’s my birthday present to you; but I promised Mah and Abbas you’d take care of him, so don’t make me look bad.”  Even if she wanted to, Sameen can’t stop the wide grin stealing over her mouth.  “His name’s Bear; he’s a rescue.”  Sameen whispers his name and he flops onto his back for a belly scratch.  “He’s a year-old and weighs about 45 pounds; so he’s slightly underweight, hence the rescue.  He wasn’t being cared for properly.”  Sameen scowls at the thought.

“Thanks Root; this is the best present I’ve ever gotten!”  Mah raises her eyebrow playfully and Sameen starts to backtrack.  Mah and Abbas laugh at her scrambling for something to say.  “It’s okay Sameen; we think so too.  Root spent weeks trying to find just the right dog for you.  We’ve had him for a month, but we sent him to a training academy.”

“Sam I sent you an email; he only responds to Dutch, so I sent you a list of commands.  Auf, Bear,” Root instructs firmly.  Bear jumps off Sameen’s bed.  “Szit.”  Bear sits next to Root.

They spend the day at the park playing with him and Sameen couldn’t name the other gifts she got, completely enraptured by her new companion.  On the way home they stop at the pet store and she practically bankrupts her parents buying the highest quality accoutrements.  They end up eating at home because Sameen doesn’t want to leave Bear alone.

Root’s not sure who’s more excited, Sameen or Bear.  Scratch that, definitely Sameen. 

Sameen falls asleep with a contented smile.  Root drifts off grateful she found a way to make Sameen’s birthday as special as she made Root’s.               


	67. The First Layer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A picture starts to emerge revealing why Mary came to town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first, I know it's been a long time! I'm sorry, specially to those of you who've been soooo supportive.
> 
> I know this is a short chapter, but really it's to help me get back in the flow and to let you all know I haven't forgotten you or our girls!
> 
> There's still much more to come!

“His name wasn’t really Bear,” Shaw tells Root the next morning.  It’s more a statement than a question and Root knows Shaw’s not angry, just curious. 

She gives Shaw a ‘you caught me’ grin, “No, but they were calling him Dog so I figured a new identity was in order.  

Shaw rolls her eyes and quirks her lips, but she’s never been one to disregard chosen identities, even Bear’s.  She tilts her head, looking at Root, “I think it suits him perfectly.” 

“Come on Bear it’s time for our run…”  Shaw tries to play it cool, but her eager tone betrays her excitement.  She can’t wait for her first run with Bear. 

Root looks at the scene lovingly…Bear’s obviously going to be a new outlet for Sameen to express her emotions in a way that doesn’t make her uncomfortable. 

“Just try not to wear him out his first time Sam; you might have to work up to longer runs.” 

Sameen rolls her eyes and raises her eyebrows.  “You’ll get used to it Bear; she’s master of stating the obvious.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey Sam…I’ve been thinking…” 

“Please Root, not another scam that’s going to get us grounded.  Maman’s still mad about our internet ‘send us a dollar scam.’ 

Root shrugs, “buyer beware” and Sameen shakes her head and waits.  She knows inevitably she’ll be drawn into whatever Root’s planning. 

“Anyway, let’s put a pin in my latest innovative endeavor.  It’s about my mother and Mary.” 

Sameen sits up on the couch immediately, giving Root her full attention.  She can’t help scowling, but Root knows it’s at the thought of the conniving women and not directed at her. 

“I don’t think they’re working together.  Otherwise Mary would’ve come to town sooner, with my mother.  I’m not convinced they even know the other’s here.” 

“Still doesn’t tell us what they’re up to…” 

“About that…I found a will through probate records…for my…father.  It’s vague, but it basically says he leaves all his assets and worldly possessions to his daughter, Samantha Groves.” 

Sameen scrunches her eyebrows.  “Why would he even have a will?  Do people usually do that if they don’t have like…I don’t know…a lot of money?” 

“I think you’re right, but I don’t know.”  Root shrugs… “Maybe there’s another reason people need wills.  I’m going to research it.” 

“When are we going to tell maman and bâbâ?” 

“Let’s wait until we know more, Sam.” 

“Okay, but not more than a few days.  We don’t want to let Mary have enough time to ambush us.” 

“Agreed.” 

“You think your mother’s involved some way?” 

Root stares into the distance.  “Could be…although as far as I know they were never married or anything so how could she have any claim?” 

“I don’t know Root.  Then again even if she does, what does giving you a locket with her hair get her?”  Sameen thinks Groves is just fucking with Root, but she hasn’t wanted to say it aloud. 

Root sighs and exhales slowly before looking at Sameen.  “I think…I think she’s just enjoying being cruel.  I think she wants to see how much power she still maintains over me.” 

Sameen looks at Root with an intensity Root recognizes as fierce protectiveness.  Sameen’s always given her the same look when anything hurts Root.  Root doesn’t know what she’d do without it.  “None.  She has no power over you.  You are smarter and stronger than her Root.  You’ll figure it out and then we’ll get rid of her once and for all.” 

Root’s reassured hearing the conviction in Sameen’s voice.  As far as Sameen’s concerned it’s as sure as the sun’s position in the sky.  

“I hope so Sam…I really do.”


	68. In My Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sam, I’m just so tired. My entire life, every time I’m happy for like five minutes, something goes wrong. I wonder if I’ll ever be free of Mary and my mother. I just wish they were _gone _…”__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is another shortish chapter, but I'm slowly emerging from my writer's block on this story, so I think I'll be updating sooner again. I just can't write for the sake of putting something on paper (metaphorically speaking); I need to feel it and certainly this story, more than my other ones, deserves it. 
> 
> So I hope you continue to enjoy. I'm definitely not done with them yet. 
> 
> Thanks to Mez64 for gently pushing...! <3

“Root it’s time to tell maman and bâbâ; you haven’t found anything despite your furious hacking. We need help. There may not be any electronic record of whatever Mary’s after.”

Root hates giving up…it goes against her very nature, but she knows Sameen’s right.

Root exhales sharply… “Sam, I’m just so tired. My entire life, every time I’m happy for like five minutes, something goes wrong. I wonder if I’ll ever be free of Mary and my mother. I just wish they were _gone_ …”

Sameen understands exactly how Root feels. She’d like nothing more than to have them disappear too, but she’s not sure what to say to make Root feel better. It frustrates her, but she thinks words don’t exist to protect Root from the pain she feels…the burden she’s carried since they were children. So she reaches for Root and holds her close…both lost in their thoughts.

 

* * *

 

Mah and Abbas listen without interrupting as Root brings them up to date. She glances at Abbas thoughtfully before responding. “I’m very proud of both of you for not trying to handle this by yourselves. I think it’s time we ask for Zoe’s help again. You were too young before, but I think it would help if you talk to her too Root. As far as I know, the only point of a will is to pass on assets; but sometimes it can be just things with sentimental value and not necessarily worth a lot of money. But we need to know what it says so we can figure out what Mary wants this time. I’ll call her and see when she can come over.”

Sameen nods and looks at Root; she can tell it’s not much comfort, but maman never lies to them and they both prefer it that way. Root’s cheeks are red and her eyes are downcast. “I’m sorry for all the…” But before she can finish, Mah’s already reaching over to comfort her, placing a warm hand on her chin and gently raising Root’s face until she’s looking at Mah. “Root, none of this is your fault. We’re family and we will always be here for you. I wish we could stop them from ever hurting you again. We will certainly try.”

Mah’s actually more worried about whatever Groves may be intending next. She’s confident they can deal with Mary one way or the other. All the woman ever really wants is money. But Groves is a monster of a different color and despite the progress Root’s made throughout the years, Mah knows she still has the power to hurt Root emotionally. Maybe Root will agree to speak with Anwen about the current situation. It seems it’s always helped in the past.

 

* * *

 

Sameen’s been trying to get Root out of the house for several days without success. She’s sleeping a lot and when she’s awake only wants to read or watch television.

Mah spoke with Zoe, but she’s working on another case and won’t be available for at least another week. She tried to get Root to see Anwen, but she insists she’s fine. Mah knows there’s no point in forcing the issue…if Root won’t talk, Anwen won’t be able to help.

“Come on Root, let’s go for a bike ride,” Sameen implores yet again. “I’m not in the mood Sam, but you go.” Sameen’s heard this several times in the last few days in response to all her suggestions. Ice-cream shop, a walk, the mall. She even invited Hanna over, but Root ignored her after a brief hello and Sameen ended up watching a movie with her.

She’s at a loss and it’s not something she can easily accept. She needs to help Root feel better and she’s not giving up until she figures out how.

     _Sameen: Thursday 8 am_

_Please tell me what I can do to help. I’m worried about you. Please Root…It hurts me too._

Sameen’s not trying to be manipulative, but she understands sometimes Root will do things for her she won’t do for herself. It’s not a lie anyway. She doesn’t feel the way Root does, but she’s angry. She hasn’t wanted to leave Root, so she hasn’t been to the dojo and meditating can only go so far. Mah tried to get her to go, but she’s stubborn about not leaving Root alone. She knows its possible Root will do something ill-advised if Sameen’s not around to stop her.

Sameen’s surprised to hear the shower running, since Root hasn’t even changed out of her pajamas in two days. At least it’s something.

She’s lifting weights in the basement when Root finds her a little while later. Root watches for awhile and Sameen cuts her circuit short, hoping Root will want to do something. She raises her eyebrows and plops next to Root on the couch.

“Want to go for a walk,” Root asks with a small smile. Sameen rolls her eyes playfully but doesn’t tease in case Root changes her mind. “Meet you on the porch in 15,” she throws over her shoulder as she heads upstairs for a quick shower.

Once they’re out, some of the tension seems to dissipate; the sunlight warming the cool day. Sameen leads them to the park and Root follows without comment.

“Remember that time Alex pushed me off the swing when we were little?”

Sameen snorts. “He was such a jerk.”

“You put grape jelly on his chair and when he stood up it looked like he had pooped his pants and everyone laughed at him.”

“He deserved it,” Sameen smirks smugly. “He never pushed you again. Maman only said we couldn’t hit him; she didn’t say anything about humiliation.”

Root quirks her lips and glances over before looking away pensively. “You’ve always been there for me Sameen; saving me, protecting me.” She doesn’t look at Sameen directly, knowing it will make her uncomfortable. “Who knows what would’ve happened to me without you…sometimes I forget…I forget we’ve been through worse and we always got through it together. I still get scared,” she whispers. “Part of me still feels like the little girl, abused and lonely, just trying to survive.”

“You’ll never be alone Root.”

“I know intellectually you’ll always be with me Sam…but in my bones, sometimes I still tremble.”


	69. The Unimaginable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanna makes a new friend, but at the same time her past comes back to terrorize her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to apologize for my long hiatus. All of you have been incredibly gracious and supportive. Maybe I just needed a break from the story, but I could not find anything compelling to continue it; and as I've said before, I'm not satisfied with just throwing sh*t on the wall and see what sticks. I will be updating once a week, most likely on Thursday evening or Friday morning. I already have two other sub-plots, inspired by current events, ready to go.
> 
> Which brings me to my next point. Rarely have I felt compelled to imbue my stories with current events. After all, I generally write to take my mind off the misery consisting of everyday life. But we live in times where a man who brags about assaulting women is deemed fit for the presidency.
> 
> “You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it, you can do anything...grab them by the pussy, you can do anything.”
> 
> The only kernel of positive outcome from the scandal is it shed light on this insidious problem, encouraging victims to come forward and hopefully creating a climate where meaningful change is possible.
> 
> This chapter contains an allusion to past rape of a minor (13 and 15 are their ages) by a minor (not Root or Sameen), although the description is not graphic (the word rape is never mentioned) the circumstances leading to it are pretty clear. If you're uncomfortable reading about this topic, for whatever reason, please skip it. Going forward you only need to understand its the motivating factor for the actions the girls take next.
> 
> As always, I welcome all your suggestions and comments, so long as they are constructive.
> 
> Thank you all for your patience!

Root spoke to Zoe, but nothing she remembered got them any closer to figuring out what Mary and perhaps Groves may be planning.  Zoe arranged for Mary to be under 24 hour surveillance once arrived and they find out where she’s staying.  It may shed some light on why she’s in town.

Zoe’s also having her contact at the probate department of the courts look for the physical file containing Bo Bryers’ will.  There may be other documents contained in the file not appearing in the electronic record.  The laws pertaining to trusts and estates rivals the tax code for obscurity and the only legal requirement pertaining to opening the estate is the filing of a valid will.  Determining the validity of a will is simple; any document identified as such, signed and dated, and witnessed by two uninterested witnesses comprises a legal will.  It’s the process after the filing where the problems arise.

So it’s a waiting game until Mary arrives or Zoe obtains the file.  In the interim, life goes on.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Root, this is my friend Xi,” Hanna greets as she joins her at their usual lunch table.  Before Root can greet the new arrival, Xi knocks over the salt shaker sending salt granules skidding all over the table.  Xi immediately scrambles to grab a napkin and wipe the table while apologizing profusely.  Hanna gently stills her hand, “don’t worry, accidents happen.”

Xi drops into a chair with a sigh and it creaks a bit, her wrestler’s physique slightly over-filling it.  “I tend to be a bit clumsy,” Xi admits with a soft voice and her face flushed with embarrassment.

Root smiles at her empathetically, “Hi, I’m Root.” 

Xi shoulders relax at Root’s friendly tone and deep sienna eyes shine with a thankful hue.  “Hi Root…”

Before Xi can say anything else, Shaw approaches the table.  She groans internally at the sight of the new arrival.  This is what happens, Shaw thinks, you’re nice to _one_ person then suddenly you’re inundated with total strangers wanting to be your _friend_.  She blames Root and her magnetic personality. 

Shaw’s already annoyed and she hasn’t even reached the table.  The intruder chose _her_ chair next to Root.

“You’re in my seat,” Shaw announces grumpily, with a look saying ‘move now.’  Hanna moves over quickly, so Shaw can sit between her and Root.  It’s probably best Xi not sit next to Shaw.

“Xi, this is Shaw,” Root explains as she turns to Xi, “don’t mind her, grouchy is her default setting.”

Shaw rolls her eyes and plops Root’s milk in front of her.

“Xi’s in my history class,” Hanna interjects trying to take the focus off Shaw and put her friend at ease.

Hanna and Root make small talk with Xi, while Shaw pretends she’s not there at all.  Root thinks it’s for the best; at least she’s not glowering at Hanna’s new friend.

 

 

The bell rings signaling the end of their lunch period and as Hanna stands, she freezes with a sharp inhale and her already fair skin pales; she not breathing.  Shaw’s the first to notice.  She’s tracks Hanna’s line of sight, but sees nothing of note.

But Root realizes Hanna’s staring at a guy who seems to be staring right back with a predatory smile.  His icy eyes shift like a lithe cat among a herd of hulking rhinos.  She looks at Shaw and nods toward the source of Hanna’s terror.

Shaw scowls and makes a bee-line for the unfamiliar kid.  Once Shaw considers you her friend, she’s loyal to a fault, which means she’ll strive to protect you from anyone trying to hurt you.  She’s highly protective of Hanna because Hanna possesses a naive innocence, in Sameen’s opinion, which leaves her vulnerable to exploitation.  But by the time Shaw navigates through the crowd, he’s nowhere to be found.

Root sends Xi to get Hanna a bottle of water while guiding her back to her seat.  Hanna starts breathing again but her unfocused eyes stare off into the distance.  Root places the water in her hand and Hanna drinks and sighs deeply.

“Do you want to talk about it?”  Root inquires softly.

Hanna’s knee-jerk reaction tells her to say no, she’s never spoken about Xavier to anyone.  But now he’s back, which means his father’s also been stationed here; there’ll be no getting rid of him.

“Yeah, but after school, okay?” 

Root nods in understanding, but Shaw wants to assess the threat right now and take action.  Root knows Sameen and before Sameen can speak, she places a hand on the crook of her elbow with a slight shake of her head.  Shaw scrunches her eyebrows and rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to class,” Sameen says gruffly.

Root quirks her lips, a knowing smile trying to break free.  But she knows better than to draw attention to Shaw’s kindness.

 

 

Hanna seems calmer during last period.  She sits next to Root as usual.  After class they head to the field to watch track practice until Sameen’s done.  Hanna knows she won’t be able to tell the story twice.  “Root can we wait for Shaw?”

“Of course,” Root assures her friend.

 

 

“I’m going to take a quick shower in the locker room.  Root can you text maman we’re going to Hanna’s?”

“I already did; she said it was all right.”

 

 

Hanna tosses her backpack on her unmade bed, avoiding eye contact with Root and Shaw.  “Hanna, just tells us whatever you’re comfortable sharing.  Sameen and I just want to help in any way we can,” Root says softly.

Hanna nods, clutching a pillow as she sits stiffly on her bed.

“His name’s Xavier Emilio.  I met him on base when my dad was stationed in the Philippines.  I was so flattered when he started paying attention to me.  You saw him; he’s gorgeous, in a Nuno Lopes sort of way.”

When Hanna sees the blank look on Root and Sameen’s faces, she sighs.  “He won a best actor golden globe in 2005 for the movie Alice.”  Still blank.  Hanna frowns at her friends’ poor breadth of films.  But Xavier’s looks, other than to explain why Hanna was attracted to him, don’t matter.

“We started spending time together.  He was sweet and attentive, bringing me books he’d thought I’d like, walking me to my classes; I felt special, he chose _me_ to spend his time with, even though all the girls on base flirted with him constantly.  He was a couple of years older, 15, and so mature and smart. 

About three weeks after we met he invites me on a picnic.  We went to a nearby beach and hiked to a cove he’d discovered.”  Hanna’s breath hitches, “I thought he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend.”

Hanna breathes in sharply and she looks down, pulling her arms and legs in toward her core, her eyes watery.  “The ocean breeze was soothing, a fresh smell, the sun was shining, and it was a beautiful day.  He kissed me and I kissed him back, I thought it was so romantic.

His kisses became more passionate; I felt important, desired, loved.  We lay back on the blanket on our sides facing each other and continued to kiss.  I giggled in my nervousness…”  Hanna’s tears start to trickle down her face.

Root and Shaw fill in the blanks for themselves.  “It’s okay Hanna; we understand, but if you want to tell us the rest, we’re here to listen.”

Hanna breathes a sigh of relief.  “I never told anyone, but the worst part came later.  I tried to avoid him but he followed me everywhere.  He was relentless, so I stopped going anywhere on base; but I had to go to school. 

One day he cornered me by my locker.  There were a ton of kids in the hallway, but just like that day I froze.  He whispered all the dirty things he’d like to do to me in my ear.  Then he asked me out on another date,” Hanna’s voice is laced with quiet fury.

“I just walked away and a few weeks later my dad received orders for his new posting.  I thought I’d never see him again, but he’s here…” She says despondently.

Root’s only seen the look on Sameen’s face once before; when she was kidnapped by Sturgis.

“Hanna, look at me.”  Hanna looks tentatively at Sameen.  “I will protect you and he will never hurt you again.  I know you’re afraid and you doubt I can fulfill my promise.  But we will find a way,” Sameen vows, exuding a sense of danger. 

Shaw’s voice brooks no argument and Hanna almost believes; _almost_.  

 

 


End file.
